In law

memy

Member
We havent been able to have any kids so far due to some male factor. I think its too late for me now due to age issue. We tried medical treatmt twice but unsuccessful.
Nowadays i've been the target of Pil esp Mil. To put it in nutshell, im the least favorite member of his family now. Once a while, Mil wud tell me not to eat certain food ie pineapples 'bcz im too weak', or when i rejected some food due to personal preference, she said why u scare heaty? They all ie ur Sil eat so much also no problem. Ur body is weak.
I dont know how to reply...
These are just 2 of simple examples. Other things is playing favoritism n making me feel left out.
We are not rich ppl therefore dont think will go for further trt. Dont know wat to do...
I feel inferior n useless
 


We havent been able to have any kids so far due to some male factor. I think its too late for me now due to age issue. We tried medical treatmt twice but unsuccessful.
Nowadays i've been the target of Pil esp Mil. To put it in nutshell, im the least favorite member of his family now. Once a while, Mil wud tell me not to eat certain food ie pineapples 'bcz im too weak', or when i rejected some food due to personal preference, she said why u scare heaty? They all ie ur Sil eat so much also no problem. Ur body is weak.
I dont know how to reply...
These are just 2 of simple examples. Other things is playing favoritism n making me feel left out.
We are not rich ppl therefore dont think will go for further trt. Dont know wat to do...
I feel inferior n useless
When ur MIL passed such remarks and with the failures of the pregnancy what was ur hubby reaction? Does ur MIL know tt the main issue is her son? Btw, how old are both of u?
 
When ur MIL passed such remarks and with the failures of the pregnancy what was ur hubby reaction? Does ur MIL know tt the main issue is her son? Btw, how old are both of u?

I pass 41 yo recently, DH couple years older. We got married late and didn't thought this could be an issue.
I don't think she knows the real reason, she just knows that we went to see doc consultation more than 4-5 years back. She didn't ask.
When she passed such remarks, usually DH not within earshot. One time he was within earshot, he tell her that everybody has their own preferred food and everybody different, she kept quiet. She didn't imply anything further.
But i can guess what her thinking is like
 
Whether to have kids or not is the couple’s personal preference, nothing to do with the in laws.

Some elders can be quite blunt in their words, my take is just to “shoot” back but with a smiling face. There’s no need to swallow just don’t be too obvious.

You know those smiling kind but also 一针见血 yet not too offensive.

My hub’s mom is such kind too, sometimes will always bring up his ex gfs , I am not sure of her real intentions. But i m sure that I m the least favourite too as this is my 2nd marriage with 2 kids. (Don’t care because I m not married to her, how my hub feel is more important).

Sometimes, I m direct and share facts with her but if I don’t feel like entertain, I will just go back to my own room.

Btw , are you staying with them? It will be best NOT TO for your own sanity and privacy.

If you are, try your best to move out ASAP and if you can’t , I suggest you to talk to your husband which I did and he’s supportive of me too.

I m 41 this year too and my hub and I are also trying but we are not putting stress ourselves. At this age , 享受二人世界 is the priority to us. Have then have, don’t have then we enjoy our life , already plan till retirement.

Since you are newly wedded, why are you putting so much stress on yourself. Just enjoy your marriage life ‍♀️
 
Hi Memy,

Sorry to hear about the stressful situation that you are in. When it comes to the issue of being childless, the first person who gets reprimanded/questioned is the wife. This is usually the trend. Hope you don't feel inferior as everyone of us has a purpose in life. For the time being, try to act blur and if possible, don't listen too much or read too much into your parents in law comments. This is to avoid adding baggage to yourself. After a period of time, I believe your parents in law will "let go" of the issue as they will be too tired of keep holding on to the issue or be in an "angry" state all the time. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Meanwhile, during this difficult period, shift your focus to do other things. Find a hobby and make yourself relaxed and happy. Life is short. If you still feel troubled, can try to talk to a friend to let out your troubles.

Thanks for the concerned support & advice. I feel slightly better now, n not feel so "alone" in this.
In fact, we have been ttc for years and its a source of frustration n stress for me, and i had only recently been "letting go" somewhat. But still hoping. One can only hope after trying our best.
Yes, lately, i do try to act blur and not listen much to what they talking.
 
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Whether to have kids or not is the couple’s personal preference, nothing to do with the in laws.

Some elders can be quite blunt in their words, my take is just to “shoot” back but with a smiling face. There’s no need to swallow just don’t be too obvious.

You know those smiling kind but also 一针见血 yet not too offensive.

My hub’s mom is such kind too, sometimes will always bring up his ex gfs , I am not sure of her real intentions. But i m sure that I m the least favourite too as this is my 2nd marriage with 2 kids. (Don’t care because I m not married to her, how my hub feel is more important).

Sometimes, I m direct and share facts with her but if I don’t feel like entertain, I will just go back to my own room.

Btw , are you staying with them? It will be best NOT TO for your own sanity and privacy.

If you are, try your best to move out ASAP and if you can’t , I suggest you to talk to your husband which I did and he’s supportive of me too.

I m 41 this year too and my hub and I are also trying but we are not putting stress ourselves. At this age , 享受二人世界 is the priority to us. Have then have, don’t have then we enjoy our life , already plan till retirement.

Since you are newly wedded, why are you putting so much stress on yourself. Just enjoy your marriage life ‍♀

Hi there, thanks for your caring concern.
Yes, i have noticed that she is the type that thinks u are ok n she is right if u keep quiet. Mostly nowadays, i jus pretend to be blur or not hear, or seldomly 'poke' her back smilingly. She jus does not think she did anything not so right although Hub did spoke to her lightly once on this. I find tiring to response to her everytime and she is the sort who wants to win, and i can't win right?
We don't stay in same house luckily, but nearby. We have been married for years.
Can't talk too much to Hub bcz after all its his mother, and he doesn't want to keep talking badly abt her, which i can understand. Can't talk much to others too bcz not all will understand.
Some weeks are ok, some more dramas.
 
We havent been able to have any kids so far due to some male factor. I think its too late for me now due to age issue. We tried medical treatmt twice but unsuccessful.
Nowadays i've been the target of Pil esp Mil. To put it in nutshell, im the least favorite member of his family now. Once a while, Mil wud tell me not to eat certain food ie pineapples 'bcz im too weak', or when i rejected some food due to personal preference, she said why u scare heaty? They all ie ur Sil eat so much also no problem. Ur body is weak.
I dont know how to reply...
These are just 2 of simple examples. Other things is playing favoritism n making me feel left out.
We are not rich ppl therefore dont think will go for further trt. Dont know wat to do...
I feel inferior n useless
Simple, tell your husband to tell his mom that he cannot privately and ask her to STOP talking about it to hurt you or embarrass you. This should solve the problem. Then I believe all the other things like food comments will stop.
 

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