Let me get this straight first - I love the baby inside of me and I know I will love it even more when it's out. Also my husband and I have been wanting to have a child so this pregnancy was not something that was unexpected. I know many women would kill to be pregnant and have been struggling so much to get pregnant. I don't deny that pregnancy is a blessing.
But I hate being pregnant so much I cry about it all the time. A lot of it has to do with the terrible nausea that has plagued me since the first faint positive line until now (13 weeks). And it's only been 13 weeks! Many people say relief will come after 14 - 16 weeks, but just as many people also say they suffered from nausea and vomiting all the way till delivery. In the worst case scenario, that's at least another 26 weeks more of this and I don't know how I am going to survive. I have a phobia of vomiting (this is a real thing called emetophobia) and this makes having all day morning sickness 100x worse.
The fatigue also makes it so difficult for me to work. I have to work with sick patients and I feel like I can't give my all at work when I feel so lousy. I'm also studying right now and I'm constantly behind in my studies because of feeling so sick.
Many women seem to love being pregnant. I see cute bump pictures on FB and Instag all the time with the happy smiling glowing mum-to-be, and I wonder why I can't be like that. I have tried to psych myself up by thinking of baby names, buying baby room stuff and thinking about creative announcements but at the end of the day I crawl into bed and cry because I hate how I feel so much right now. I keep telling myself this won't last forever, it will be worth it when I see baby etc but nothing makes me feel better. I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep up a cheerful front but I'm actually spiraling.
Sorry if I offend anybody. I know that there must be some people who understand how I feel. But if you don't and are judging me badly, please don't say anything because it won't help. If you feel the same way as I do, please tell me how you cope. I don't know what else to do.
But I hate being pregnant so much I cry about it all the time. A lot of it has to do with the terrible nausea that has plagued me since the first faint positive line until now (13 weeks). And it's only been 13 weeks! Many people say relief will come after 14 - 16 weeks, but just as many people also say they suffered from nausea and vomiting all the way till delivery. In the worst case scenario, that's at least another 26 weeks more of this and I don't know how I am going to survive. I have a phobia of vomiting (this is a real thing called emetophobia) and this makes having all day morning sickness 100x worse.
The fatigue also makes it so difficult for me to work. I have to work with sick patients and I feel like I can't give my all at work when I feel so lousy. I'm also studying right now and I'm constantly behind in my studies because of feeling so sick.
Many women seem to love being pregnant. I see cute bump pictures on FB and Instag all the time with the happy smiling glowing mum-to-be, and I wonder why I can't be like that. I have tried to psych myself up by thinking of baby names, buying baby room stuff and thinking about creative announcements but at the end of the day I crawl into bed and cry because I hate how I feel so much right now. I keep telling myself this won't last forever, it will be worth it when I see baby etc but nothing makes me feel better. I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep up a cheerful front but I'm actually spiraling.
Sorry if I offend anybody. I know that there must be some people who understand how I feel. But if you don't and are judging me badly, please don't say anything because it won't help. If you feel the same way as I do, please tell me how you cope. I don't know what else to do.