How to jumpstart a wilting marriage?

L

Lililipstick

New Member
Hey, i just want to know if there is anyone out there who is going through what i am going through right now. We’ve been married for 15 years now and we used to be inseparable.. we physically is the same but its just that we lost the spark we used to have. We have lost our communication to each other up till how we go to bed at night, separately. it seems we have grown apart since I had my 3rd child. We have been tired lately and we tend to want to do our own things when we have that little sliver of time available. No we havent had time to date since my baby was born more than a year ago last being intimate with each other was probably 2 months ago, even then it not as frequent as we used to. We havent had any alone time together except for groceries shopping. I dont know but i missed him so much. i feel that both of us took great care of the kids but when we have that time that we should spend time together, he will either play with his phone or game but we never talk.. no convo about US. I will just try to be by his side to start some conversation but end up chicken out and go to bed with my baby. It’s now have been us with work or us with kids, no us alone.. what can i do? Oh yes we have talked about his for 2 occasions before i went back to work post maternity but no changes.. help..
 


In all situations, it takes 2 to clap.

Wat we do in situations, a lot would also depends on our character. 4 me... I m d just face it kinda gal, so I will just take an opportunity n start a conversation like... "it's been a while since we catch up wif each other.... have u found yourself a mistress?"

Can u both take leave 2 have some alone time? It's wat I usually do, tell him I wanna have a day out wif him... if 1 day leave is too much den take half a day.... have a meal together, coffee after n have a HTHT.
 
Both ego are too high. No one wants to lower self. Too afraid to face disappointment/failure.

Take a step back, take one step down. Thicken your face & Talk.

Talk from your heart. Tell him how u feel.

If u don't tackle it now, u will hv to tackle a different issue down the road.
 
It also really depends on the partner’s character. Sometimes even if you talk it out, partner will just keep quiet and remain unhappy. Then a Cold War started.
It’s very hard but try to bring him back to your previous happy times. And then slowly lead to your current feelings.
It’s never easy as some man would only focus on their work, game and their kids.
A thousands cries of a Wife would mean nothing whereas a weep from the kid would meant a serious thing.
With a no sex life for years, no holding hands, no shoulder over you at all, how Long can a marriage last ?
 
You are not alone in such situation.
Try to think positive, make yourself feel confident, focus on the little one. :):):)
 
My case is similar to TS. Just am a man though.

We've been married for 12yrs. Used to be 'inseparable' and will take the opportunity of a single time to spend time together. Of course have to admit that there's up and downs during this time. But we both stay together, and overcome it together. After our 1st was born about 2yrs back, everything changes...

Seems we both lost the spark in between us. After work when home, she will just do her stuff (like watching/chasing drama online), while I will do mine. Perhaps we merely communicate when about our kid. And most of the time, not much conversation to lead on. I tried to engage intimacy with her, or try to talk to her, but she just said she's tired... Or no mood to talk... Or she just want to finish her drama... I tried to 'date' her out too, but she will be like busy with her work or told me she's tired... Everyday is 'tired' as excuse... Till I somehow lost heart of asking or initiating it already... Kind of lost the passion to it as well. No matter what I try to do, seems not right...

When I suspected or jokingly asked if she have a new bf, she will just flare up, and says that I think too much... Am feeling insecure etc... We used to have holidays together, but same, after our kid is born, no more holiday... Her excuse is that, when kids is older... Maybe 3-5 yrs more...

Sometimes I too don't know what to do next...
 
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