I also have the same problem. Hubby spend on gambling and now do it seceretly. Nag and talk also no used. All things for my 2 children all bought by me. Dry up already and still squeezing. He only pay for the yearly ang paos.
I have to save for my 2 children properly if not one day I not around how are they going to survive. Sign ...
haiz..it seem like a lots mummies hv spendthrift hubby...for mY case lucky/unlucky i hv no kid .. can u imagine i can sit outside the shop ( which he spend)crying ,due to the amount he spend ..ok now he spend untill ALL credit card stop his a/c ..soon he will be bankbrupt...YET..he still didnt realise his mistake .... wat i can blame ???? only myself who choose him as my hubby ...
Allowance to me ..NO WAY ...difficult to say only those mummies here who hv spandthrift hubby can understand my feeling ........
i also have a spendthrift hubby. He claims that i earn more then he does ( actually i earn only few hundred more then him ) yet i got to pay for all those PUB/HDB bills. Even though he still owes alot of credit card bills. he still go vacation with his frens recently. He just received his credit card bill and ask me to help him pay off some of his debts! i told him NO as I also have my own debts to clear too. We also have no savings when i give birth to my baby boy 5 months ago. i used my credit card to pay for the hospital bill and pay my gynae ard $550 the following month when i got my salary. To tell u the truth, i did not opt for any epidural or injection. i took only the gas as i couldnt afford to pay for epidural. thinking of it, i was also quite surprised how i manage to endure the pain.
i understand how u feeling now. i also didn’t opt for epidural and bb is gg to deliver in aug and i really hope i can bear with the pain so i no need to fork out additional cash. i earn less than my hb and i am paying the PUB and his car petrol. He also clearing his credit card and call me to get cashline for him to clear his debts and will every mth concentrate to pay the cashline and can save the interest too. i rejected him and he said i am not willing to help him. Almost all the gyn fee is paid by me and the coming admission to hospital bill is going to be paid off by me too. i am trying hard to save some money for my bb diaper, milk etc. coz i know depend on my mthly salary i won’t be able to get the cash to buy those stuff. my hb still dare to say hv to depend on me already coz he doesnt have extra cash to buy bb stuff. he don’t feels any stress at all and continue to buy accessories on his car. Every time talk to him on money issue, call him to save some money at least don’t buy car accessories and i am already appreciated but he will get very frustrated and said this is his only hobby and said he is better than other guy who smokes and go clubbing. When i get my salary i so worried he don’t have money to spend and i volunteer to give him. But he wont worried that i don’t have money to spend already. I already very thrifty. Don’t buy clothing for myself and don’t buy maternity clothing only buy dress. As maternity clothing are too expensive. But he will buy clothing when we go out. I really can’t stand him and don’t know how to say him so he will stop spending and think about our bb. He will only rely on me and will tell people how lucky he has such a thrifty wife. He is those type of person will spend every single cents and say when u are dead you also cant bring the money along. how i envy those pple who is born or married to a rich guy and dosent worried about money. sigh..
i'm relieved to hear you refused to apply for cashline because instead of relieving the debt, you will alleviate it instead, which what happens to me 5 years ago. forced to apply for all these and ended up really bad debts, and until now i'm still paying all of them, and i practically having liquid meals everyday, trying to spend less than $10 a day.
me too, my hb love to spend too, then chalk up the credit card bills, then i have to face the music most of the time. leaving the debts to him will end up late payment charges, which is adding on to the burden. sometimes setting aside money is a temporary solution. the only thing i wish which will never happen is money dropping from the sky, so i can clear up the debts, remove all those accounts and start fresh. sigh, no use crying over spilt milk.
sorry to hear that from you. ur hb call u to took up the loan and nv pay up for you? dun understand guys wont get worried that the late payment charges and interest. they will only know we are very naggy etc. i always buy food and stuff that are the cheapest. are you paying all the debts for ur hb? coz u mention ". leaving the debts to him will end up late payment charges, which is adding on to the burden" soun d like u paying for him.
once a while, he did mention leave all the debts to him, he will do well, paying the installments for one or two months, then after that, he usually will fall sick and then, all the things are left behind claiming sick. Then the next thing i know, the banks start calling me every single day chasing debts. If ask him, then i will get it from him as well that why i didn't keep tab of what's going on with the accounts! frustrating right? So nowadays, what i do is to keep paying if possible, once clear up, axe the account, this way a fair bit of relieve (esp yearly fees) and less banks calling me.
like what you say, don't understand why they like to support the banks with all the extra charges.. we aren't that rich to do so.
sounds so stupid.
then, now what? i axe one account here, he open another one. *roll up eye balls*, sometimes i really want to sue those telemarketers and banks.
after reading the postings i felt sad for the women who are pregnant, stuck with bb & have to worry abt $$.
Personally i felt that a man has to be responsible for himself and his family. Having a family was his choice; marriage to having kids. All these come with opportunity cost.
We are loving wives not greedy wives, all we want is a loving family a place where our children can grow up happily.
Be strong, have a good talk with your HB, prepare your monthly expense form and ask him budget to set aside this $$ for the household expense.
For working women, it can be ratio of 50-50, or 60-40 (of course 60 for the men!)
most of the ladies are right, we cannot control how many CC or CL the men can take up and the temptation is out there and they are easily take up another credit.
this the men have to grow up and manage their own finances, but the monthly household expense to myself is a form of committment he has for me and the family that we are building together.