Dear Rachel,
I am very sorry to hear about what you have been through. I have been through a nightmare when my girl was only 1 to 7 days old, and she also had feeding problem until she was one year old, though not because of cleft palate, I totally understand the hardship that you faced.
However, to be honest, I do not think that anything can be done against the doctor, just like your lawyer has advised.
It is a pity that his name cannot be posted in the public forum due to fear of defamation. I believe that there are many cases like this, and because of the fear of defamation, no one knows which doctor should be avoided.
Just to share, I have read a lawyer wrote in the newspaper, that if what you wrote in the forum is absolutely true, then it is NOT considered defamation.