I'm in a similar situation now.
My hubby n me has been together for 11yrs n married for 6yrs.
We've 2 young boys, ages below 5.
Recently, everytime we quarrel, he'll say he want divorce. Each time, I'll persuade him to change his mind...
2 wks ago, we had another argument cos I found out he was planning to visit a ktv wz hostesses. Of cos I disallowed him to go when I knew. All these yrs, I've to admit that I'm quite a possessive wife n hv restricted him from going out wz his frds... But I didn't expect him on planning to go to this type of improper place. That night, he went out when we quarrelled n only came home in the wee hrs. I dunno if he did indeed go to that stupid ktv n I didn't probe.
I thought this was going to be another of our usual quarrels but I was so wrong... He started to go out daily n either coming home only in the wee hrs or didn't come out at all. He has never stayed out w/o coming home b4.
After a few days, he told he dun want to live this kind of life anymore n he wants a divorce. I didn't want to n then he dropped a bomb, he told me he had an affair from may-sep this yr. when he told me that, I was at work n I took urgent peace immediately n came home, wanting to settle it. In my mind, I will not tolerate it if he really had an affair n I'll also head for divorce.
However, we ended up talking what kind of change in each other. We both agreed with each others requests n I thought we had sorted things out.
However, he keep on posting in fb abt how miserable he is n how he is living a lie. When I ask him, he say he does not love me anymore n staying together now is just a lie.
I tried my best to talk to him n to give our marriage another chance... For us n also for our 2 young boys...
He just kept insisting that he dun love me anymore...my heart was broken n I cried so many times... But he didn't care at all...
Then I managed to log into his fb n saw that he has been msging a Vietnamese girl on fb. He even said he love her in fb n also even tried to get my elder son to meet her!!! Lucky that slut told him its not appropriate for her to meet my son.
I confronted him n he admitted that slut is a ktv hostess but has since returned to Vietnam. He say she was the only one that can cheer him up n made him happy when he was feeling down. Again, my heart was aching so badly when he said that but he didn't care... He claimed that they didn't go to bed but just had hugs, etc. I decided to forgive n forget cos I treasure our marriage n I also didn't wan my kids to grow up in a broken family...
However, things did not improve at all. He still kept on going out as n when he please n will nvr tell me where he's going of meeting. He still keep saying he doesn't love me anymore... Now he treats me like a stranger... No body contact even though we're still slping together n he doesn't talk to me unless necessary...
I've lost count of the number of times that I've cried... Even crying in the ofc... I dunno how else I can salvage this marriage... I've stopped restricting him from going out, stopped nagging, etc. I tried starting conversations wz him but he's always reluctant to talk... My mind keeps wondering if he's still contacting that Vietnam slut even though he showed me he deleted her in fb... Everytime he goes out, I'll be thinking if he's fondling other girls... I'm extremely miserable now n will tear up whenever I thought of how he kept telling me he doesn't love me anymore.
My frds tell me to ignore him n let him be cos they feel he's trying to break free after so many yrs of being controlled by me... But this doesn't justify it that he can go ard womanizing n telling other women that he loves them. I've thought of divorce cos I dun wan to live like this for the rest of my life... I dun wan to keep being tortured mentally daily, wondering who he is with n is he betraying me again... But I'm also still holding on the tiny chance that he will wake up soon n realized that family is still the most impt...
He's really immature... 30 yrs old now n married wz 2 kids n now he wants to abandon this family just to have fun outside? I've alrdy promised him that I'll not restrict or control him anymore... But this is not gd enough for him... Our family is not as important as having fun to him.