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Giving Seats to Needy! !!

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by daughter_in_law, Dec 24, 2007.

    Last edited: Dec 15, 2014

  2. hamasaki

    hamasaki Active Member

    These are all inconsiderate n heartless pple who dun give a darm to others.. Only for themselves so such pple are so selfish n disgusting..
  3. snowpooher

    snowpooher Active Member

    Yes, younger generation now are quite self centered. They dun offer seats, dun offer to press the lift for others even they stand just beside the buttons! I really can't stand those ppl who stand beside the buttons not to press the "open" key for ppl to enter/exit the lift.
    And also, they can use the mirror for long time, no considerate to move aside for those who need to use the basin.
  4. ozlee

    ozlee New Member

    Hi DIL
    maybe you want to shoot your hubby first?

    if people accept such selfish behaviors as the "norm" and "acceptable", then guess what... it will be one day, or already as you noticed.
  5. ozlee

    ozlee New Member

    Hi DIL
    maybe you want to "shoot" your hubby first?

    if people accept such selfish behaviors as the "norm" and "acceptable", then guess what... it will be one day, or already as you noticed.
  6. tamarind

    tamarind New Member

    I have noticed a few times in the MRT, where no one gives up their seat to pregnant ladies. I also feel very angry, but I don't dare to open my mouth to ask other people to give up their seat. I wonder how many people dare to do so ?

    I have encountered an MRT officer who asked a young man to give up his seat to my 70+ year old father before. But he is the MRT officer, if I were to asked, I would probably be ignored, or be scolded.
  7. ozlee

    ozlee New Member

    Hi DIL
    maybe you want to "shoot" your hubby first?

    if people accept such selfish behaviors as the "norm" and "acceptable", then guess what... it will be one day, or already as you noticed.
  8. ozlee

    ozlee New Member

    Hi DIL
    maybe you want to "shoot" your hubby first?

    if people accept such selfish behaviors as the "norm" and "acceptable", then guess what... it will be one day, or already as you noticed.
  9. lushqueen

    lushqueen Member

    I notice that very seldom will there be people giving up their seats in the train, be it pregnant, young or old.
    At first I resigned to my fate and thought that my tummy is not obvious so nobody will give up their seats for me. However, once i saw a heavily pregnant woman also had to stand for at least half her journey and finally got her seat only when 1 passenger got off the train.
  10. anch1174

    anch1174 New Member

    Hi DIL,

    Your story reminds me of my grandmother. She is old and is hunchback. So when she walks, she sort of shuffles around.

    But she is very good at getting seats on the MRT. I saw her in action before. She will shuffles herself to the person sitting and glare at that person. And because she is short, her face is directly in front of the person seated.

    If that person is sleeping, she will talk loudly to indicate that she is there and without a seat. That person sitting will be so embarrassed and have to give way to her.

    I know that this is not a nice thing to do, but it's amazing that people will just ignore those who need it more. This is why my grandmother has to fight for her rights.
  11. closetdoor

    closetdoor Active Member

    I got a gal friend who is quite daring. When I was with her in the train, she exclaimed very loudly saying things like no body giving seats to pregnant ladies, tummy so obvious liao still can't see... Until a lady let me have a seat one station later. Haha. But for me, I would stand in front of the row of seats (MRT) and hope for a space. :p Still very passive...
  12. 3bagsfull

    3bagsfull Member

    Maybe I shld share my personal experience when I was heavily pregnant with my elder son few years back.

    I normally drove but that time i was in my 36 weeks and thus my hubby thot I shld not be driving anymore cos tummy too big. Anyway, I took the NEL 1 night, with my colleague. We boarded at Clark Quay and all the seats were filled already. So we stood in front of a chinese couples who look trim and fit and reasonably educated in their mid 50's, who immediately went into nap when we appeared in front of them.

    Anyway me and my colleague started chatting. Some how my colleague commented that no one is giving up seats to the needy. I wasn't actually expecting a seat cos the train wasn't really packed and I was still very agile then, so i jokingly replied to my colleague that "maybe ppl think I was faking my pregnancy lor, under my top is actually a pot, not a baby ha ha...". Upon hearing that, the couple suddenly "woke up" and gave me a head to toe, toe to head stare, and then went back to their beauty sleep.

    So when i had my 2nd kid last year, I drove to work till the very last day b4 my delivery.

    I just find it amusing. Think the responsibilities really lie in us, the parents, to inculcate the correct value. If we dont be the role modle and do what we preach in the 1st place, there's no use keep saying "u shld" cos the kids just don't find it "real".

    Seriously, i think the education system in Singapore has kinda strayed. They only focus on results but not the important values in life.
  13. closetdoor

    closetdoor Active Member

    Yes, i think w kids in tow, we have to watch our behaviour. They have short attention span, so i think its right to correct them then and there. Dun have to bother abt the other family. Most of the times they wun be saying anything back. Cos if they do so, they are admitting to their mistake in public liao. :x

    Dun want kids to grow up ungracious. Think most kids nowadays are quite self-centred. So its bad.
  14. qcx_amy

    qcx_amy Active Member


    Just 1 2 share this so far i have been very lucky since my pregnancy, not every morning but at least 8 out of 10 times when i take public transport i will be given a seat so far so good [​IMG] but what i cannot stand are teenagers nowadays... They hog the door at the MRT, expecially the couples act like everyone else is transparent, hugging each other at the entrance of the MRT and also those youngsters that dash up the train to grab a seat so that they can play with their games and when i c mothers who encourage that kind of behaviour i get even more angry... The kid looks like sec sch age but the parents/mum let the child have the seat so that the child can play with his PSP... What is the world coming too? And i have also encounter kids that board the MRT/bus demanding seats... They will get into the cabin and say things like 'I want to sit down, i want to sit down, how come no seats?' I am amazed that yong children at their age can say things like that, makes me feel that they have been 'programmed' to do it when they board crowded public transport...
  15. 3bagsfull

    3bagsfull Member

    Just to share too. When I was in HK travelling with my kids on public transportation (and I travel there pretty often), it's like 90% of time I would be given seat cos I was pushing the stroller or carrying my kids, and most of the time, u won't expect them to do so cos they are the typical "bengs" in local context, some even look like gangster but yet, when they see u in need, they will just stand up immediately and let u sit down.

    I think it's really about the values that the parents passed on to the kids unconsciously by being the role model.

    So we mommies really must do a good job in being a good role model to our kids. [​IMG]
  16. thesnow

    thesnow New Member

    YES, I agreed its the values that parents passed on to the kids.
    Recently, I board the train at JE MRT (towards Marina Bay) at ard 6pm, I saw a boy (ard 10yo) dashed into the train, putting his left hand on a seat and spreaded his groceries filled plastic bags across 2 seats on his right.
    At this time, the train is quite crowded, many pple standing in front of the seats and stared at him.
    Finally the "zu jiao" arrived, parents and brother, and sat down without shame.
    What disgusted me was the mother praised her son for "reserving" the seats for them.....!!!!
    Once I alighted, I quickly "brain-washed" my daughter.....
  17. dumbger

    dumbger New Member

    haha, during my pregnancy, my worst experience was this episode in the MRT. i was 30wks or so, boarded at Chinatown on NEL to my home at SK but no one gave up seat to me. lucky at dhoby ghaut interchange pple left so i managed to get one seat.

    but then 3 stops later at boon keng a more pregnant lady entered the train, looks like gonna give birth any time. no one gave up seat for her, so i gave my seat to her. she was a bit paiseh lah, cos i also pregnant mah. but i told her she's more advanced than me, so let her sit.

    you would think after seeing a pregnant lady give up a seat for another pregnant lady, someone would know how to zi tong right? but no! i stood all the way to hougang where the pregnant lady alighted and i sat back down at my seat! faint...
  18. 3bagsfull

    3bagsfull Member


    wah urs experience is really classic!!

    few days back MM Lee was talking about that he wld probably not be able to see Singapore becoming a more gracious society. I guess we'll only see improvement in, say, 40 years time, cos it takes almost a whole generation to undo this ungraciousness inculcated in our generation. If we do a good job now, maybe in 40 years time when our kids grow up, there would be slight improvement -- just in time when we need a seat badly on mrt/buses. LOL. :p
  19. llig

    llig Member

    I actually do ask for seats for preggies or those carrying kids. My fren says i'm brave/crazy but its just that I can't tahan seeing 'injustice' la..

    What i normally do is ask the person if she needs a seat, and normally the ans is an embarassed 'no' but i would still turn to the nearest person and ask if they can pls let the woman sit becos she's preg/carrying baby. So far, the reaction has always been 'oh, i didn't notice' and they quickly get up, and suddenly their neighbours start looking around to see if there are other 'needy' folks. haha..

    Think people should help others ask for seats becos asking for oneself can be quite embarassing. (i've never asked for myself even when i was preggers and normally ended up standing for most of my 20mins train rides)

    DIL, i too will strive to teach my son to be a gentleman. [​IMG]
  20. victory

    victory New Member

    Just to share too. when I was pregnant, most times people do give up their seats for me on the NEL. But there was this man who, like what some mummies experience, shut his eyes and went to sleep once he saw me board the train. When someone alighted a few stops later, I got a seat a few seats away from him, and he immediately "woke up" and stayed awake for the rest of the journey!

    On the bus 190 that ply the expressway, however, people seldom give up their seats. They dun pretend to sleep either. They just look straight through you as if they can't see you are pregnant or it makes no difference to them whether you are pregnant or not. Probably becos they think they deserve the seat as they have a long journey home?!
  21. kymi

    kymi Member

    Hi Victory,

    Sad to say thru out my pregnancy only 10 kind hearted people give up their sit for me on the NEL.

    You are so lucky.... me got to stand all the way from dohby ghaut to punggol.....
  22. reddates

    reddates New Member

    I dun expect ppl to let their seats for me when I'm pregnant. Sometimes it's tat they are paying for the trip and they are tired oso. Ppl nowadays will think tat this is their rights, whether u r needy, pregnant, elderly etc....if u think tat u need the seat more, take a few station back where there's not much ppl so you will have a seat. I can see tat elderly nowadays oso very rude, they think they own the way or wat. They are all sorts of ppl ard.
  23. victory

    victory New Member

    agree with reddates. When I'm really tired after a long day's work, I take the NEL all the way back to habourfront. That way sure can get seat one. No need to depend on people giving up seats for me.
  24. vinn

    vinn Member

    I rem there was once when I was preg wif my 2nd bb. I took bus carrying my 1 yr old girl. The bus was full so no doubt hav to stand. No one gave up their seat as well even thou they are young ppl.

    Imagine, hv to stand a few stops. Then when someone got down the bus, I will hv a seat.

    Wat's going on in this world???
  25. shelled

    shelled Active Member

    I also agree with reddates. I never believed that anyone is obliged to give up their seats. We are all paying passengers, and we don't really know what the so-called "self-centred" passengers have gone through in their day.

    Personally what I feel is this:

    If you want a seat, take a taxi. Or wait for your hubby/friend/relative to drive you out in a private car.

    When I was heavily pregnant, and no one gave their seats to me, I did not berate anyone. My only complain was why we are not well-off enough to own a car. Or why I didn't choose to take a taxi.
  26. closetdoor

    closetdoor Active Member

    With the hike in crude oil and taxi fares, more people are taking the trains.

    Most of the time I am reduced to standing at/near the door, sandwiched btw others. I am fine with no seats, not as it preggy=disabled... Just that some ppl refused to budge. How I am supposed to alight... Then when the doors open, people just rush in. Sometimes I see ppl in wheelchairs or pushing pram, "forcing" their way out too...

    Now at 38 wks... So worried of ppl pushing me... Pushing me at my tummy.
  27. loomi

    loomi Member

    I am 7mths into pregnancy now, I take the train to work everyday. To date only 3 person have given up seats to me. Well... you may think this is no stranger ... but I am not in Spore. I am in JAPAN !!! Yes, everyone say how courteous and polite Japanese are, they have special seats for the needy and nobody dare to sit, BullS*** !!!

    On top of this, you can pick up a small tag at any station which has a pic of mama and baby and a message that says "I have a baby in my stomach" to hang on your bag. This tag is very useful for first trimester when you are still flat and feeling uncomfortable with MS etc .... There are signs at priority seats area asking people to give up seat when you see someone with this tag. (Just side track... imagine if this tag system is available in Spore... you can imagine the flux of 1st tri pregnant ladies overnight, after 2 yrs of taking same train same time, you realize this same "pregnant" lady you see everyday on train with stomach that never grow ... hmmm... some might be even well into menopause age to be pregnant but having this tag on their bag demanding for seats ... haha .. just my joke when I imagine this tag available in Spore)

    Since I started my 3rd Tri and weather getting warmer, my puffy coat is gone, I no longer look fat under the thick coat but more pregnant now. But last few days, my experience on the train really disappoint me. Well, if someone pretend to sleep, ok.. I can guess you really want to sit down and maybe tired, but all these middle aged men, just stare at you and ignore you, even you are standing at priority area, ok maybe you think I am just plain FAT, but there is a tag hanging on my bag staring at you telling you this lady is pregnant !! Hey, still don't get the message ???? Well, I was told by my japanese colleagues, they are MCP, they thinks women should stay at home and not running around especially when they are preggy !!

    The latest incident, was this young couple sitting at the priority area... the young lady noticed me and whisper whisper to her bf. Guess who gave up the seat to me, the gal !!! and guess what the BF did after his gal was left standing ... he pretend to Zzzzz and con't the journey and they alight together .... what a jerk ! My husband says that's the virtue of Japanese gal ... they do everything for their man. There you go ... the famous saying of Japanese gal are the best GF/Wife to have !! At least this saying is true ... guess polite and courteous are no longer valid.
  28. Koalarie

    Koalarie Active Member

    Hi Loomi,

    interesting to read about this.... which part of japan do you stay? These guys are really too mcp.
  29. victory

    victory New Member

    I thought only singaporeans dun give up seats. didn't realise that it's like that in Japan too!
  30. loomi

    loomi Member

    Tokyo, guess is city life, Japanese work late, sleep late, so in the morning most of them are dead beat, want to sit down and Zzzz.

    Not all are so bad actually, once a ah ma give me sit, just because I was wearing a mask cos was down with cough not even preggy then.
  31. september

    september Active Member

    it is so common tat people dun gif up seat. and worse is tat wen the door open, those people who rush in to get seat can nv see a preggie lady and push their way thru lor.

    i remember got once wen i board the mrt, all the seat are taken. i was standing in front of the seat near the door, where a teenage gal was sitting. she was playing wif her hp or someting and beside her sit a middle age couple. then i saw the lady (probably the gal mother) whisper to the teenage gal and then after tat the gal stop playing wif her hp but pretend to zzz as she nv once lift up her head. few stops pass and a kind lady sitting the same row of seat as this family, ask me to go over coz beside her got an empty seat. then finally, the teen gal 'wake up' and lift her head up.

    wat kind of good teaching the parent is teaching their child lor!
  32. 09022007

    09022007 New Member

    there r kind soul who does give up their seat for preggie but 8 out of 10 doesn't.

    i recall when i was 36 weeks preggie carrying a big but not so heavy luggage alighting from a bus. a young man was juz behind me & guess what he does? instead of helping me with the luggage, he juz stood there looking at me (maybe he wanted to see how a preggie woman carry a big luggage down the stairs!). of cos, it's not a must for him to help (& i don't expect it anyway) but would you not help?
  33. ryan_mummy

    ryan_mummy Active Member

    juz 2wks ago, i decided to go home for dinner at my parent's plc. My hb was working late. so we decided to head there individually.

    Long time nv take mrt frm bouna vista - bt panjang liao.. this is my experience...

    boarded train. no seats. stand near door cause too packed.
    alighted at JE station waiting to board train to CCK. too many ppl squeezing so i let them go in first.
    i was last person to enter as there is a slot.
    door not closed yet. suddenly the next train frm pasir ris arrived..

    then ppl started to run to the middle train *which i was in*.
    1 young man, talking on hp, used his body to push me inwards. i told him, no space. as i his leg was still outside. but he dun care, carried on pushing. in the end, to save myself, i exited the train.

    lots ppl at platform stared at me. M i in the wrong? i felt so paiseh after exiting the train...

    anyway, 1min ltr, another empty train came liao. there were plenty of seats...
    i was thinking, lucky i nv persist in staying on tat train..

    then i sat at first seat near entrance, a lady sat next to me, she told me. it's like tat de. nxt time, train too packed, dun enter...
  34. royndor

    royndor New Member

    wah din realise so many incidents..

    being preggy myself, i will say so far not too bad, there are still ppl who will give up seats.. sometimes i will change bus to get seats..

    But once i ever encounter, a schoolboy 'snatching' seats with me! oh gosh! both of us staying as he's more agile (definitely since i'm abt 32w) sum more gimme a 'proud' look..
  35. oink17

    oink17 Member

    hi all

    Im currently 32 weeks pregnant and took NEL line to and from work.
    Of all my trips, I can count using my 5 fingers the number of times someone give up their seats for me.

    People look at me and still continue on with the journey. It's no big deal for them.

    Not alot of people will give up their seats. To them, being pregnant does not mean you will get the privilege of getting seats on the MRT.
    To me, it feels like a 1st come, 1st serve basis.
    U board the train with empty seats, good for you.
    You board the train later and there's no seats, too bad.
  36. myboyedison

    myboyedison New Member

    agree with oink17, 1st come 1st serve, don't expect to be offered a seat. when i was preggy, i do get seats (sometimes don't, of cos) from some kind soul but most of the time i would tell them that i don't need it cos just 4-5 stops away. moreover, have been sitting whole day in office, it's alright to stand for a while.
  37. nabmum

    nabmum New Member

    I think ppl so ignorant nowadays they are blind to preggy ppl. Last time i would travel from Boonlay to Woodlands, no seat. Was so tired due to overtime i just heck care took off my shoes and sat on the intercarriage. Chose that spot due to there's a railing so i can pull myself back up again [​IMG] Even if is a 1st ome 1st serve basis, what differs is if u have compassion lor [​IMG] Dun tell me if u see sickly elderly who can barely balence or stand but dun offer a seat to them. But funnily when these youngsters are in the situation, eg if the sprain/fractured their ankle due to soccer match... then they EXPECT to be given a seat? Suddenly the 1st come 1st serve theory dun apply to them ah....

    Another think i hate about taking the train when im preggy is that as Petrina pointed out, they like to SHOVE into you. Dun they see that ur tummys need space [​IMG]
  38. lesley

    lesley New Member

    As for me, I was about 7 mths pregnant at that time, I went into the MRT train, actually that's a seat & I was walking towards to sit, but a lady walk faster than me, she sat down & when she saw me walking towards, she close her eyes, pretending to sleep. I was so angry that I phoned my husband in front of her & I purposely said quite loud,"Some Singaporean really that tired? Still can pretend to sleep when seeing a pregnant woman without a seat. So shameful & unconsiderate." At least I can vent my anger.
  39. lesley

    lesley New Member

    There's another incident, I just got pregnant to my 2nd child at that time. I will black out if I stand too long, & there's once I got blackout, nobody give seat to me, but lucky, tahan until I reach my office. My friend taught me to ask the fellow who is sittingin front of you to give up the seat to me if I got black out again. I followed what my friend taught me, & it's really works. That guy is sleeping, I woke him up, I told him that I was about to faint, when he saw my pale face, he stand up immediately but he's a bit pai se, cos he's also pretending to sleep.
  40. meekfreek

    meekfreek New Member

    Has anyone ever asked for a seat before? Can't imagine Singaporeans being so selfish and not giving one up if they were requested to do so politely....

    I think they need MRT officers to man the carriages and make people stand up for the needy....if not get FINED!!
  41. catz

    catz Active Member

    Liana, actually I *can* imagine someone saying no leh.. Singaporeans can be pretty barbaric at times.
  42. tanlengleng

    tanlengleng Active Member

    Current I'm 7 mths pregnant...
    Last week I took a bus home,
    guess what...
    It's an elderly lady who gave up her seat to me,
    youngsters all all pretending to sleep.. hiazzz...
  43. woodlandsmummy

    woodlandsmummy New Member

    Hi hi me currently 5mths + preg also can use my 10 fingers to count the no of ppl who offer their seat to me while on train...the most angry moment is that they keep staring at my tummy yet they dont want to offer their seat to me...sometimes really have the urge to tell them off that i am preg not FAT!!!...Dont stare at me if u r not going to give up your seat to me...sometimes when i am offer a seat, it was from elderly ppl (which make me so pai sey)...

    yesterday, i was with my 3yrs old boy on the mrt, the ppl were all awake...they just stare at my boy and myself...yet no one offer their seat to my me & my boy...all i can do was to keep telling my boy to hold tied to the pole...
  44. gloyt

    gloyt New Member

    Hi Preg mummies,

    I encounter the same thing too. Even now that I am 8months + preg. There were women and men who just shut their eyes when they see me board the MRT !?? Ridiculous right. But what I do is I tap on them ( those who occupy the needy seats) to excuse their seats for me as I really can't stand for long. No need to be shy about it as they are good well beings taking up needy seats to sleep or pay PSP!
  45. ryatie22

    ryatie22 New Member

    i realli like the idea abt the tag in Japan cos' my stomach will only grow bigger till 6mths..as it's long wait...realli hoping for such miracle to get a sit in the train n bus.

    anyway like the idea tat Australian imposed for the school children taking the trains or bus @subsidised rates are suppose to give up sits to elder, pregnant or needy...if they dun du so, they'll be summoned. i encounter a true experience when i was taking a bus there with lots of shoppings bags, n this teenager boy came to me n giveup his seat...mind u i was not even pregnant...n i was so impress...hope our teenagers r like tat...ur gov should impose such rule then they'll follow
  46. Am encounting the same problem as well....

    Last year, I was preg 6mths and taking my 3 yrs gal for my gynae's appt. Due to my appt time is in the morng and i cant get a taxi so had to travel by bus. The bus was crowded wif ppl and was stuffy,noone willing to give their seat. Until I was almost fainted in side the bus then there's one uncle offer his seat for me....
  47. ryatie22

    ryatie22 New Member

    ya lor ..tat day i take train also an uncle offer me the seats..so paiseh but no choice i felt like 1 2 faint like tat..althou there was a lady sitting n talking in the train ..she didn't offer me her seat althou i taken out medical oitment to put on my nose..so miserable....
  48. carnellin

    carnellin New Member

    hi mommies,
    heehee, i thought nobody will care about this since people in mrt looked quite ignorance. i'm not a singaporean and quite surprise how people can literally pretend to sleep the minute they saw me with my 3 year old. there even time when i push my stroller (with a lot of difficulty during rush hour) and this indian lady knew i'm having difficulty and get that opportunity to cut my way and in the end her feet got hit by the stroller's wheel and she speak loudly to her friend how i dont apologize to her. even her friend told her you might be on her way. she kept on yapping, my husband told me to ignore this kind a person. unbelievable.

    i also dont understand to those people who like to cut the queue when they knew we dont have any choice than to take lift when carrying stroller yet they still push me to the back and get inside first, no wonder one mommy protest at Today's paper couple months ago.

    the problem is why people are so lazy and dont care when other people have no choice with their difficulty.

    but i truly complement to some malay teenager who got up and even said to his friend to stand up and give their seats to the needy..i'm a chinese but never a chinese boy gave up their seat to my gal [​IMG]

    only old people that gave my gal because they afraid my gal might fall down, [​IMG] are the youngsters here are so weak that they can not stand up and have to be pregnant mommies, old folks with heavy plastic bags and young kids that have to stand up in public transportation?
  49. kmom

    kmom New Member

    Hi carnellin,

    It's very sad to see people behave this way ya? I stay in Jurong West and work in Novena... everyday i'll take MRT to and from work. Am 31 weeks pregnant now. I have a huge tummy, i have encountered all kinds of human beings who are temporary blind, suddenly fell into coma but wakes up at their stop, PSP ppl who had their eyes glued to their game, abled young ppl fighting with me to get into the train... Sad to say, be it school kids, working class men/women, uncles/aunties... these kind of inconsiderate ppl exists!

    I had one experience whereby i was standing at the "please give ur seats to those who need them more" and this middle age man just ignored me and read his papers... one working young man boarded the train, saw what was going on... called the middle age man and ask him to look at me! The man jumped out of his seat and guess what, I thank the yound man instead! My hero!
  50. woodlandsmummy

    woodlandsmummy New Member

    that day on bus also nobody give up their seat to me untill someone lost her balance and knocked into my tummy...then ppl started to offer me their seat!

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