Do not wish to divorce but was force to

[Jean chua]

Hi,
I need advice
I am married for 12 years with two children,
11 and 9
Things turn sour after marriage, when i found that i am pregnant at 6 weeks.
My MIL says that she cant take care during confirmement, my mom offer to do it for me. MIL is unhappy and threaten me to take baby away from me. MIL lies to me commenting on my dressing while my husband stood still and ask me to keep quiet.
After moving into their house, my MIL shouted rude words at me just because my husband made a glass of milk in the morning for me (just once) .

After child birth, my MIL who claims that she wanted to help take care of grandson, did not chip in to help. Not even to carry. A month later, i fell sick and ask my mom for help. I moved back.

Hubby ask his mum why she didnt help, she say she will not change her ways.

We continue to stay at my mums, while they come and go as they please and did not come at a fix day. Baby naturally reject them as baby does not recognise them. I told them either they come every week or they dont come.

This is how i forbid my husband family from seeing my kids. When the second one arrive, i also forbid.
Every year my husband will ask to bring them back, but the unresolve bothers me. There are so many questions that was unsolved.

This year, my husband says that her mum is gettin old 60, and should see the grand kids. I ask for a proper meet up dinner then. He says his mother will never change and therefore i should change on my side on his behalf.. to me, its a separate issue. However，he says no and threaten with a divorce.

Am i too much, to ask to be present ?
Am i asking too much to ask why am i mistreated in in the first place.

 

[Frenchinsing]

I think that your husband should support you and stand by your side. You are the mother and deserve to be listened to and respected !

 

[annpao]

Hi,

I am not here to judge you or your husband is right. It’s just 2 families having different norm and habits. Maybe you and your Husband are both worn out from caring for your children and juggling between this relationships. If you dun mind you could pm me maybe I could help by giving you a listening ear.

 

[AmyTeo]

Jean.. I think u need to let your husband knows that it is too much to threaten a divorce in this scenario. I believed u hv tried your best all these years and you need to tell him that as much as u want to be filial to yr MIL, he shouldn't allow her to do things that will hurt you. He needs to communicate with MIL and point out her mistakes (if any) and you can also do your best in putting the smile 1st. Good luck!

 

[mismulu]

it must be hard on u all these years. luckily ur mum is there for u.

ur husband must be the 顾家kind, that's y he is feeling torn now and probably sorry for his parents. this kind of guy, unfortunately, usually don't know how to take care of his own family at first. he now must have know how to take carer of u, else u wouldn't stay with him this long.

no need to ask ur mil y she mistreat u. is just her. she probably will do the same to any other person who is in ur shoe. maybe is her upbringing, maybe is her character, she probably doesn't know why.

let ur kids see their grandparents. do it for the kids. they deserve to know who are their grandparents.

\hugs/