Dirty In Law house

[decembergirl]

First of all I would like to say that I am really blessed to have very nice in laws who has been treating me like their own daughter.

But I can’t stand their dirty and messy house. Both my in laws are working and my MIL looks tired most of the time and she doesnt have the time to do the cleaning after work.My husband has 2 more younger sisters who r still staying with my in laws.

The house smells of dirty laundry. Things are not organized.food wrappers thrown on the floor. Leftover food on the table.the toilets are really unsanitary with mold on the tiles,choked drain with hair and unwashed clothes everywhere on the toilet floor. Sometimes even used sanitary pads on the floor.The kitchen has piled up unwashed dishes,stale food not thrown away and the dustbin is full and kept open. Even Ants and cockroaches are feasting on it overnight!!

I have a 1 year old child who just started crawling and I am worried that she might pick up litters around the house and start putting it into her mouth.
I told my husband about the issue but I understand that he has to take care of his parent’s feelings.

Problem is I can’t leave my 1yo daughter with them with the mess and filth.They have been hinting to take her over the weekend without me and my husband to stay overnight at their place.I have been saying all kinds of excuses not to let them have her. I have anxiety the moment they hint on having her over the weekends.I have anxiety and i feel stress being around their house.

how do i handle this problem w/o hurting their feelings? I wish for them to have a clean house so i can let my daughter play at my in law place with peace. Opinions please.

 

[Mongkok]

u can clean a dirty hse but you cant chg a bad inlaw.

u are blessed! aka u have struck toto.

you may want to sit down and tel your inlaw that the baby grabs anythg that comes his/her way. hence, lead by example. assist your inlaw to clean up the hse. get husband to involve or better, get your child 'involve' in the cleaning.

this is a psychological move. Anyone truly loves your child, will tug their heart-string when they see the baby doing 'cleaning'. next round, they will clean up the hse for the bb sake.

as for Bb, there's a saying in hokkien 'dirty eat dirty grow'... too clean an environment isn't healthy too.. (not saying eat roaches are fine, plsss...)

well... u know what it means and u throttle the line...

as for bb, teach your child want is edible, what's not. they hv to learn as you cant helicopter them 24hrs. takes days/mths.

if thgs don't improve, then skip week, later skip mth. create stories like your child almost eat a roach/ant, etc... say somethg that reminds them of a high possibility that will happen in their hse. so nex round when you say out your concern, they should be able to comprehend your position.

 

[Cindy Tay]

First of all I would like to say that I am really blessed to have very nice in laws who has been treating me like their own daughter.

But I can’t stand their dirty and messy house. Both my in laws are working and my MIL looks tired most of the time and she doesnt have the time to do the cleaning after work.My husband has 2 more younger sisters who r still staying with my in laws.

The house smells of dirty laundry. Things are not organized.food wrappers thrown on the floor. Leftover food on the table.the toilets are really unsanitary with mold on the tiles,choked drain with hair and unwashed clothes everywhere on the toilet floor. Sometimes even used sanitary pads on the floor.The kitchen has piled up unwashed dishes,stale food not thrown away and the dustbin is full and kept open. Even Ants and cockroaches are feasting on it overnight!!

I have a 1 year old child who just started crawling and I am worried that she might pick up litters around the house and start putting it into her mouth.
I told my husband about the issue but I understand that he has to take care of his parent’s feelings.

Problem is I can’t leave my 1yo daughter with them with the mess and filth.They have been hinting to take her over the weekend without me and my husband to stay overnight at their place.I have been saying all kinds of excuses not to let them have her. I have anxiety the moment they hint on having her over the weekends.I have anxiety and i feel stress being around their house.

how do i handle this problem w/o hurting their feelings? I wish for them to have a clean house so i can let my daughter play at my in law place with peace. Opinions please.

Well, there's nothing much you can do over here. Probably have a talk with her, and try to be around when the baby is. You can just tell them that baby is still young, and need you around when she/he zz over. At least you are around with your baby when staying over at their house.

 

[Anonymousjane]

Or perhaps trying talking to them, say your baby ia alleegic to dust or something

 

[evolutionmr]

If they are really nice in-law, do have a talk with them including your SIL as well. Don't set them high and unrealistic expectation since they are working adult. If they willing to do something to improve the situation bit by bit, please give them credit. Otherwise, you can offer your help also if you care for the family.