Child Adoption

Hi Ladies,
Thanks for all your comforting words. I am just trying to be patient but it's been a nightmare since day 1. On top of it, I have to manage my leave. Need to book leave as bb is coming and then cancel as bb not coming...been doing this since last week...really tired/drained emotionally. Everyday I tell my colleague, I may be on leave tomorrow! Have to clear work everyday, just in case!

Reading about Yuli and Blesswbb, I know it can happen and that gives me some courage...

Read that you should not give water to bb. Milk is sufficient for bb. Otherwise, as you are going to PD, just ask PD about her feed. May be need to increase the dose.

Hello, Hello, Hello

Nice getting back to this thread! I was in some sort of depression for the last week or so. Sometimes I'm like that. The loss of my third pregnancy, which was a twin pregnancy, and which happened last month, hit me again and I was grieving.The thought that I am going to be a mother soon keeps me going and prevents me from going into depression. So, hey, I shall snap out of this!

Hi Sweet

Welcome! Welcome! You are using Lotus too? So am I! How far are you with your HSR?

Hi Blessbb

Read your blog and love it! I'm learning so much from you!

Hi Dream

Sorry to hear about your troubles! Don't despair! A baby awaits you and I'm sure it's on its way soon. Yes, take inspiration from Yuli and Blessbb.

Hi Yuli

I'm learning from you as well! Congratulations on you baby turning a month.

Hi iwantitvmuch

You've gone for your medical checkup? Wonderful!
My husband and I are going for ours this Friday. We are 3/4s through the forms. My husband still has to get his No Criminal Record status from the Malaysian consulate.

I just wanted to let you know that the officer from Touch mentioned to me that the Disclosure workshop is compulsory.I don't know why this is not stated in writing. I missed the earlier one but there's another session in November so I think I will attend that one.

Anyway, my hubby and I will will be attending next Friday's workshop on 'The Three A's of Adoption'. So at least in the HSR form, we can indicate that we have attended one.
It is good that you are back! I understand how you feel. Right now, I really have a hard time and I am also afraid I'll go into depression too...It seems everything is so hard for us...It is setback after setback...I hope there will be an end soon but right now, I can't see the end...

the promises, empty promises..building hope and then, nothing!, need to pretend at the office that everything is tired...

Pls don't go into depression. I nearly did! It's like entering a pitch dark tunnel! But my hubby said one way or another we will be parents. I snapped out of it immediately. I thought of him and my family.

I truly understand how you feel but hang in there!
You have your husband and your child to think of. Just tell yourself that the baby is coming soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Hi Ladies,
It is confirmed that it failed thru. I am really upset and disappointed about the whole process but somehow, we are at the mercy of the, beware, that it is going to be another tough journey once you are at my stage. Although I saw bb only once, I really feel a big loss. Trying to console myself that this bb was not meant for me (like the previous one!) but that's really hard. I really feel that things could have been different and that's why it makes it so hard.

You are right..I need to concentrate on the positive. But I think it will be hard tonight, with all bb stuff lying around the home. bb cot, bb chair, bb toys...everything is ready...

I really hope that my "fated" bb is coming home soon.

Yuli and Blesswbb,
seems like your process was so smooth and that's why I changed to your agency...but somehow, it is really a tough journey for me...
Dream, you are definitely next in line! I'm going to be behind the queue. So, I'll pray that you will receive your baby soon!
What did Lotus say??

Janella, thanks for letting me know disclosure is compulsory. So, if i don't attend disclosure,I can't proceed with HSR??
yes, please pray for me! I don't know where to find the strength to go on but I must persevere and not give up to complete my family...
when i brgt back bb, she was on Friso not Similac. It was later when she pass motion more than 5 times that worried me. I brgt her to Doc and Doc recommend me to change it to Similac. I have been using the scoop in the formula. I actually estimate myself as my bb is drink 3oz. So i use 1 and half scoop. Since yr bb is drinking 4oz it should be 2scoop using the scoop provided should be better. Did u try increasing the amount of milk to 5oz? Maybe yr bb is a big eater.
so sorry to hear the disappointment again. Be patience...if this continue...can u ask the agent to get another bb for u? Maybe she is not fated to be yours.
Nice to hear from u again. Don't ever go into will hurt everyone even yr relationship. I nearly went into it...and realised relationship btw me and my hubby really sour...but i managed to stand out of it. Just wait till u have yr interviews on yr HSR...u will realise from the talk u r very silly. Bring back the happiness out from u with the bright future with yr coming bb ya? I pray u have peace of mind and happy!
Happy u like my blog...I'm still trying to put more happy moment spend with my little girl. I trying to take as much photos of her during my absent from work...i Don wish to miss anything of her growing up.

Don't be i said things sometimes won't work out patient..the bb will come yr way.

hey...u one step towards yr update us yr status.
Yep, trying to move on. Will talk to agency tomorrow and see what she has to say. How long did you have to wait for your bb after you decided to go with the agency? Wondering how long will be the wait? I guess it is just fate.

what about you? How long did you have to wait from the time you decided on the agency?

Oh, the officer didn't say anything about not being able to proceed with the HSR if we don't attend the disclosure talk but I think just to play it safe we had better attend it. I am just going to indicate in the HSR form that I will be attending it in November. Maybe you can do the same.


I'm quite worried now. Personally, how do you find Lotus? Do you think it was their fault? It must really be hard for you! But don't lose hope, ok? You will get your baby soon!


Thanks so much for you kind words! I don't ever want to go into depression. It's just that whenever I see a pregnant woman, I think about the four babies I've lost! But I think adoption will bring some form of closure! Can't wait for my turn! I take inspiration from you and Yuli.
I think you need to be prepared mentally that things will not be so smooth (with whichever agency you go too) and hence, you will suffer less disappointment. So, better lower your expectations. I think this phase is difficult for me because there is nothing I can do except wait! So, it is very nerve wrecking. At least for the HSR process, you are in charge and in control! You can plan. Here, I am just waiting and hoping...

So, dont worry too much. Go step by step. We will be there to support you when you are at my stage!

And yes, we have all the inspiration from Blesswbb, Yuli and thanks Blesswbb, Yuli, Shasha for "staying" here and gving us the support we need....
I waited for abt 2mths. When I called Alice she told me she will call me once there is bb available. But I waited for 2 weeks still no respond from her. We called again to check and that was when she told us the following week there will be a bb. But was rejected by her due to a birthmark on the bb forehead. I waited another 2 weeks or so that another bb is available but again was delay due to the bb mum giving excuse fm coming.
So dream don't give up u will meet yr bb soon.
Thanks for sharing and your encouragement. So, I hope the third bb would be the good one! Thanks for giving me hope. I think this wait is even more difficult than the 2ww! The good thing is that I can put a "closure" on this second bb. It has really drained me...Just have to believe the first 2 were not meant for me and my "fated" bb is on his/her way

Please proceed with your HSR and don't wait for an "ideal" time bcoz it is really out of our control!

Don't worry. I think nothing is smooth sailing and whichever agent you go too, there is bound to have disappointments. So, just need to be prepared mentally...but most important is to be positive and believe that we will get there like Blesswbb and Yuli and the other parents in this forum!
Hello everyone!

Dream, really sorry to hear this bb didn't work out for you. I realise how heartbreaking it must be to have viewed a bb and then not be able to bring bb home.

I find that Alice is very efficient and professional. It's just that I believe there are certain things that are not within her control. I think she relies on her Malaysian contacts to bring in babies but sometimes, those contacts have other agents within Malaysia (or other countries) who may 'cut queue' and take those babies first. It's wrong and unfortunate when these things take place and I realise it's really difficult for potential parents but we gotta trust that the right child will be there waiting for us.

I just wanna share that before we met our bb, we prayed that God will bring the right bb to us. We prayed that whoever was taking care of her at that time, would take care of her well. We are really thankful that our process was really short.

I called Alice some days after our home visit and she said she'll keep a lookout for bb girl for us. I told her I'll call again when our HSR was approved and we can start the process. About 1.5 weeks later, I called to say our HSR was approved and I asked to meet with her at her home so that I could understand the adoption process better. I met Alice that weekend. She informed me she has a bb girl coming into SG on Mon but my HB was away so we only met our bb girl on Fri. We arranged for bb's medical on the following Mon. Medical results came out within 2 days and she was home with us by Thurs. All in, the process after I first called alice took 1 month.

I realise my process was really smooth and I am really thankful for that. A friend saw our daughter and said wah, you chose such a pretty bb, you chose well, she said.

And then it hit me. We didn't choose our bb girl, God chose her for us. I didn't pick her from among a group of babies, she was brought to us. She has been a joy (ok, there are of cos, moments when it's tiring when she doesn't want to sleep and cries, then it's not so fun!) and I really thank God for bringing her into our lives. We have had to make major adjustments in a really short time but by God's grace, we are managing!

We really didn't expect bb to come so quickly to us. It took us by surprise actually. My suggestion to waiting parents is catch up on your sleep! We made a mistake of staying up really late the day before bb came home with us (cos we were packing her baju, and all her necessities) then when bb came, it was sleep deprivation all the way! hahaha. I am thankful I have my mum who helps out with some nights.

Regarding the Disclosure Workshop. It is compulsory BUT you don't have to attend it before your HSR is submitted. We attended the workshop only after our HSR was approved.

Blesswbb, thx for your suggestion. We switched back to the scoop given with the Similac forumla and bb is a lot happier and fuller. She has put on 1.25kg within her 1st mth.
Hello ladies,

I am glad to see lot of good news. I am happy for all. Welcome to motherhood. I do have a few things to pass over if you are not very particular. Car seats, mothercare cloth. We brought alot and some of them still have price tag! so word of advise.. don't get carried away with shopping...

Btw the way, adoption children are also give baby bonus, don't forget to claim them.

Cheers to all and congrats!

She is a doll. Congrats and welcome to motherhood ( more like, sleepless night! changing diapers, now it will take to one hours more b4 leaving the house cos of the baby stuffs! hahahaha, but it is all worthwhile! The smile of this child will make to forget all the above! )

You are right. I think some of the things are out of her control. She came yesterday to our house to discuss about it and I felt a lot much better. She took the time to explain things. She told me to be patient and like what you said, God had other plans for us.

I am really happy that everything went so smoothly for you. And as what you said, your bb was definitely meant for you
She is really beautiful.

Thanks for your advices. Unfortunately, I was rushing to buy everything last week end as bb was supposed to be home. Looked at second hand car seat/stroller but due to time constraints, bought everything new...Let me know what else you have
Any cot? I only bought a playpen...but read it may not be good for bb's back so better buy a cot...
When did u claim for baby bonus? Did u wait until baby got his citizenship? How did u go abt doing it? I have found the forms to fill up in MCYS website but just donno how m i suppose to go about. Yr advise will be appreciated.
I very much agreed with u that we din choose the baby...but is God who choose her for us...I also like u been praying for the right bb. I told God to bless me with a bb with good health and that will bring our family with happiness...and i never regret waited so long.

It is true that u need to wait for God to bring the bb to u.
Do u know when we saw our bb (she's a pure chinese) she look very much like eurasian or even peranakan look (which my side of families have all these). Don't u find it very amazing...she's just fated to be my hb alway says...she just borrowing someone womb to be here with us.

You have to claim BB bonus be4 the baby turn one. ( Check with the MCYS' website or call them for more details ) My is a local adoption so he is a singaporean. I just put the money aside for his education. Just found out that you can used the bb bonus for childcare later... Great incentive.
Thanks for the info. Will check with them on Tue when i'm there for my bb dependent pass.

Has yr bb applied for her dependent pass? I can't wait for her citizenship to be approved. Eager to bring her for a short trip.
Yes, really feel that she was looking for you. I am sure you can't imagine life without her. I hope my bb can find us soon! Hurry hurry mummy dady and your sister are waiting impatiently for you!
Hi all, l am a new member and just received the Home Study report approval for adoption.

Right now waiting to adopt a chinese baby girl below 5 months old from an adoption agency.

Read from this website about sucessful adoption from an agency by the name of "Alice" and would like to have more details.

Thanking you in advance for the information
Welcome to the thread. Congratulation u r 1 step towards yr dream to be a mummy.
Alice is from a agency called Lotus Adoption Agency. U can find out more details in website for her contact. If not i can PM her contact no. to you if u want. She basically look for babies only in Malaysia. Baby girls are in demand so there might have queues.

r u interested in twin boys? I heard Alice is looking for pple interested twins. She very cute...asked me whether i'm interested...haha...

Does yr little girl has problem with Similac? I think mine is allergy to cow's milk...i have changed from Friso to Similac she still have loose stools. I checked on the web and realised she's actually allergy to cow's milk. All symptons mention on the web are there...colic, loose stools(more than 3 times a day), slight eczema, congested nose. I's so worried. I'm trying soy milk now. Hope everything will be fine in the next few days.

Any ladies heard of babies taking goat's milk and doesn't have allergy? Pls let me know as i thinking of changing that for her.
Thanks for sharing. I am quite puzzled on why Alice never asked me although I kept messaging her and she said no news! Do you know whether the twins are Singaporeans or Malaysians? do you kow whether the mother gave birth already? I will give her a call today.

As for bb milk, I think it is better if you see a PD. They may advise you to change milk to another formulae. Soy milk is not so good because it lacks lots of nutrients. Otherwise, my ex-colleague's kids took goat milk but all I remember is that it is very expensive!

Covenant 123,
welcome to the thread and as blesswbb, you are one step closer. But, you will experience that one day of wait feels like an eternity! At least, that's what I am experiencing. Can't concentrate and do things. Keep thinking of when my fated bb will be here!
Did u tell alice which gender u looking for? Did u tell her u doesn't mind adopting twins? She's looking for parents willing to take both twins she's not separating them.
Jus went to PD , he advise to continue taking similac. He said allergy to cow milk can only be indentified when the baby is 3 to 4 mths old. He asked me to continue monitor her stools for another 3 weeks then we will decide on her milk.
My hubby and I are open on gender. Just let fate decides. We are open for both girl and boy. As for twins, she never asked me. I am not sure whether I will be able to cope with twins but I think I am always ready for new challenge! but my hubby may not be so ready! Haven't discussed this possibility! I called her just now and she said she is taking care of us and will call me back tonight. Otherwise, I feel Alice is right and the twins should not be separated them. Strange that she called you!

As for your princess, I hope she will get used to Similac. May be she needs to get used to the change of milk. Try to write on a small diarhea time of feeding and stool so that it is easier when you speak to PD in 3 weeks time.

I also read an interesting article yesterday on Sunday times saying that parents tend to swaddle bb too much which may cause slight fever. So many things to learn/re-learn! I think lots of articles from the internet are from US/Western countries and may not be relevant to us due to Singapore weather. In the US, they also say don't need to bath baby for 1 month...
hi hi hi! I need to log on more often. Everytime I log on, I will have missed like 10 postings! Cannot keep up leh

Covenant 123, welcome and congrats on getting your HSR approval! You are that much closer to becoming a mummy. If you like sleep, you should try and get lots of it now! Did you call Alice?

I think we should charge Alice a commission for recommendations from this forum then we can use the money and throw a party for ourselves when we all meet up with our babies!

Hey Shasha, hope you don't mind my asking, but how did you manage to get a local adoption? Did you know of someone who had to give up their child or was it through an agency? Reason I ask is cos I tried adopting locally but found that it's realy difficult unless we know of someone. I was told by Alice that local babies are normally given/adopted by non Singaporean couples (eg: caucasian couple, mixed nationality couple or 1 parent who isn't Singaporean) cos they can't adopt foreign babies. Something like that lah.

Blesswbb, my bb still taking similac. She has these spots (like tiny pimples without the pus) on her face that come and go. I thot she was too heaty or allergic but PD said it's normal (something abt leftover hormones from her birth mum). She passes motion once a day only (I forgot to ask PD if that's normal or too little). How much does your daughter drink now? Mine takes sometimes, 3oz, sometimes 4oz. She drinks every 3-4 hrs.

Dream, did you manage to give Alice a call and let her know you don't mind any gender/twins etc so that she knows your preference?

Does anyone have recomm on diapers? I using drypers now but find that the sticky tape like super noisy! I'm using S size (daughter is about 4.3kg) but find that the leg area is abit tight. I bought it cos it was on offer lah! but now kinda regret.....which brands have you tried and found to be good?
nice to read your message....and, yes please come in more often! I am always logging in to check on new messages! Luckily, I still can access this website from work! I don't know ehy as most sites are controlled and inaccessible... this forum keeps me "sane"!

As for diapers, I can't help you but I already bought NB diapers and lots of milk powder in anticipation when I went to Malaysia...thought of saving money as well but may end up spending more if these can't be used...! Bought pampers and Fitti..
Dream, is it much cheaper to buy in Malaysia? What is the savings like? A couple of Singapore dollars per item or more?

I notice that Alice's babies tend to be less than a month old so hold onto that hope, okay? Those diapers and milk powder will not go to waste!
Hi ladies

I am quite confused. I plan to use Lotus after I complete my HSR. The lady who runs Lotus and whom I met last year was known as M.Kaveree. Does she also go by the name of Alice? Is she an Indian? I remember this lady telling me that she will never separate twins as she considers it a sin.

Dream, I hope you have called Alice to enquire about the twins.Don't worry, a baby will come soon but the wait must be nerve-wrecking!

Yuli and BlessBB

It's so heartening to read about what you are doing with your babies.My hubby and i just went for our medical tests and we are still plowing through the HSR forms.

Hi Covenant123

A warm welcome to you! I am still in the midst of completing the HSR. May I ask how long the whole process took you?
I never checked out the price and bought the items while in Malaysia as I thought it would be cheaper no matter what. For the similac, I remembered that I found the small tin rather expensive (for malaysian standard). It was MYR35 per tin. I bought 3 tins...but it seems that the standard between Singapore and Malaysia is quite different. In Malaysia, the first formula is from zero to one year old whereas Singapore has step 1 for zero to 6 months and then step 2 from 6 months to 1 year. My tin is green in colour, I think. I am not really sure what is the difference in standards between Singapore and Malaysia but I guess should be ok as Malaysian babies are taking them! Just hope that these tins won't go to waste! How much are the small tins in Singapore for Similac?

For diapers, could not really remember the price. Just bought what was on promotion in the shopping centre. Thought could not go wrong..but, not sure whether it is really worth all the trouble...i think it is much more worth it for bb clothes and other things. not so bulky...

Great to read from you. Yes, will talk to Alice tonight. I guess it should be the same person.
Try to set yourself some deadline (like in the office)! and reward yourself when you finish one task! You are a step closer everyday...
Janella, Alice is M.Kaveree, one and the same person! Have you been to her home? I've been there twice and each time, she was cooking some really nice smelling dish! hahaha.

Dream, Oh, I didn't know Malaysia's is different. I bought the big Similac tin for S$38.70 from a shop called Chong Hoe in Serangoon Gardens. The cheapest so far!
Janella, don't know if it'll make you feel better but 3 months (Mar - May) to fill my forms and find all the relevant documents cos I'm so disorganised, I didn't file any of my cpf,iras forms etc!
that sounds ok as the small tin is only 400 g (I think). Will ask you for more advice/tips when I get there! didn't know about the difference too...only found out when I was shopping in Singapore...I guess learning everyday!

Did you manage to find cheaper Similac?
i agree with u that Alice should pay us for the advertisment we giving here. haha
my bb is taking 3oz sometimes 3.5oz depending on her bloatedness. Today she seems to feel better as she din pass any motion today.
I understand Dryper got bad comment so i never try that. I previously using Mamy Poko...but found that it can't last too long especially when bb poos so i change it to Huggies-S size ($13/44pcs). It's cheaper than Mamy Poko- S size ($16.80/48pcs) and can last longer.

Alice din call me to tell me regarding the twins. She was here at my place to collect some document to extend my bb social visit pass before her dependent pass is approved. She told me regarding the twins is bcos i told her i wanted to adopt a boy from the same parents as my girl if they ever give birth again pls let me know. That was when she told me on the twins.
I bgt my Similac from NTUC at $39.90 as i din really check around for cheaper price.

For ladies who buy baby diaper from what i know from my friend who often buy her grocery there...she told me that diaper price are the same in Sg.
Thanks for explaining to me! that makes more sense. I have just spoken to her and she is quite busy so I will talk to her again tomorrow.

I think not worth buying pampers in Malaysia as it is too bulky. But otherwise, other bb necessities should be cheaper there.
wah Blesswbb, u really can, ah! look so far aead, very good! Altho hubby n I said we'd adopt another child b4 HSR expires, I now think I will reconsider! I think 1 is enuff, hahaha!

tell u all something funny. I noticed my daughter has 1 really cute tiny dimple that is visible only wen she cries not visible wen she smiles or laughs!
Thanks all for the welcome note. Do work late and more available to message on weekends.

Glad to know that so many of you are enjoying your bundle of joy.

FYI, l did manage to contact Alice from Lotus. Waiting to hear from Alice as she is visiting a new born baby girl from M'sia today.

Praying that if all is well, will get my bundle of joy soon.

My HSR was done with SBL Vision at Tampines. This agency is very efficient and the whole process took about 1.5 months.

Bye and hope will have good news sson!
Covenant 123,
Alice also told me yesterday about a little girl. I am feeling a little bit puzzled about this. I hope it is not the same little girl. I wished she should "close" my case first...sigh...
I'm back! I was travelling last week to KL. For work lah, not to see baby. But I was observing every Chinese there, and looking at the surrounding. I don't know why, I started to observe KL once again. I even wished I can do something for you all, like visiting the babies for you all or shopping for you all. I go there every 2 months.
But I've been reading the thread everyday. Thanks for some of you who share such inspiring and happy stories. It's such motivation. While filling up the forms, I've been really excited but towards the end of the compilation, I started to panick about whether I can take time off work, if I can leave work on time, if I should still go to my cousins' wedding overseas at the end of the year.
But today, I've received my final document which is the medical report. I've clear the medical report but lab test shows that I have high cholesterol. Would that matter?? I'm in shock because I've always been in the pink of health and I'm only 32! I wonder if it was due to the IVF which I've gone through recently.
Once hubby receive his report, we will submit the package to Touch straightaway!

yesterday, we heard from a friend who adopted. He said that hearing the baby chuckle is the best sound. I feel so happy it's nice to hear a man's point of view! and i'm glad that the guy seems to love the child as his own.

Dream, I hope Alice will clear your case before gg to other people. maybe she's trying to find the baby to 'suit' you. Don't be anxious. Your turn soon!
Great to have you back and I also can feel your excitement in your mail. I think the feelings you are going through is normal. After the excitement comes all the worries...I think all parents go through it..whether adoption or not...I guess we start questioning our parent skills and our values/priorities in life. But all these worries are forgotten once bb is with us. Look at Blesswbb and Yuli! You will find the balance. Don't worry!

I think cholesterol is ok as it is quite a common illness which can be controlled with medicine and better diet. I don't think it should affect your HSR but you should definitely do something about it

I really hope Alice will be doing the correct thing and thanks for your understanding! At least, I feel I am not alone in this...

Welcome back! Yes, I too, like Dream, can feel your excitement. I'm also kind of worried about the medical tests. It turns out that my hubby has high blood pressure. The medical reports are not ready yet but I'm wondering whether I will have high cholesterol because of all the ivfs. And by the way, you'll juggle all the various responsibilities just fine. I think it will be a learning process for all of us.


I think you are one step closer already. Alice did tell me last year that she tries to get babies who will suit the couples. So maybe she is just trying hard.

Yuli, BlessBB and Covenant 123

Thanks for the little info.
Thanks for your kind words

Hope your medical tests are ok and crossing fingers for you. BTW, I also wonder what are the side effects of IVF. Most important now is for your hubby to lower his Blood Pressure and to take care of his health.

I asked if it's due to the IVF and the GP said that could be as i need high progesterone or something but don't know if it's true. But I know that I ate alot of nutrious food during my IVF. So, that's could be only my problem.

I have told my bosses abt my adoption plans. Yay! They are very supportive and I warned them about the 2 months adoption leave which I'm entitled too. THey are totally fine. So, I have the green lights and blessings from them. I hope everything goes smoothly from here.