Child Adoption

i will post here bit later because I am still doing some house work. I will email you wish2bmum and thank you so much elizabeth youre an angel.

Hi its me again.
It breaks my heart to think bout adoption but I have 2kids and youngest is just 2.
Im having trouble financially like really down right now.
I was thinking if I go on with pregnancy there will be time I need to slow down with work before and after giving birth and I cannot afford that sounds very bad but its true.
haiz, very sad dont know what to do.
Dear Marsha, since u already have 2kids, I gathered u r married. I had thought u r a unmarried mum. If so, I suggest u keep the child to avoid complications to the adoptive family. You may want to discuss your situation with MCYS @ 63548577, website: I understand they are able to help families with financial difficulties.
hi, i do have 2 kids but my partner and I not married. Ive talked to a couple of councilors and yes they will give assistance in milk for baby etc but what about my two kids?
my partner is having difficulty too with work and everything.
I guess if I ever put the child to adoption I would have to put my whole being to accepting the thought of it and I am everyday thinking about it and if... what are the conditions I would consider?? or am I even given condition for the whole process?
Im sure alot of couple who wants to adopt wants the baby to themselves and I understand that.
I would want the same thing If I am going to adopt a child.
So thats it, I have to accept the fact that I am giving my child away to a family who will give a better life, a better chance and I will never ever see or know about that child.
Sorry just want to say whats inside my mind before it goes kaboom.
Hi Marsha,
Well I guess every family deals with adoption differently. Some will try to keep it away from their child. And some like me share with them about what one knows about her birth parents. If the day should come for her to look for them maybe I will help her.
Really you need to ask yourself what you really want deep down inside.

As far as I know, once you put the child on adoption, you will have no rights about the child. And the lawyers will advise you not to be in contact with the adopted family directly. I guess this is to prevent further confusion to the child. As far as I know, all local adoption must still go thru MCYS home visit. This will the birth mother a peace in mind that the family are stable to have the child. Being on the other side of the table, I guess you have have think well and also you have two kids that you have to explain about their little sibling that was given away.
To all that emailed me,

I am very very sorry for the late respond. I hope I get to all the email. once again , I am so sorry for the lateness..
To all future parents,

Good luck with the HSR. I know it is kind of long-widen and at time can be troublesome. Just hang on there. It all worthwhile..
Marsha, sorry to hear about your plight. As Elizabeth mentioned, you have to think of what you really want. I can suggest a few things you can think about would rather let you have deeper thoughts. But I want to praise you for not aborting the baby because the baby is innocent. If everything you do is for the good of your child, I'm sure you will have no regrets in future. Please continue to update us about your decision. I will pray for you.
thanks for all your support and advise.
Initially I was thinking of abortion but I cant get myself to go.
I am going for adoption cos with my current situation my partner and I could not really afford it. We are in bad debt and we went thru over and over calculate finances and everything and really could not give a better life for everybody.
I am now accepting the fact that I wont be able to see the baby once I give birth, I think that kind of arrangement will be easier for me....not that there is easy way but if I ever see the child I might not let go at end.
I hope I can find a good couple to look after my baby with all their love and life.
I'm sure it isn't easy for you to do this, but you must have the peace to let go if this is what you plan to do. All you can do right now is take care of yourself and give the baby the best that you can while he is in your tummy and let God do the rest. Take care
Hi Marsha, Thank u for sharing so honestly about your struggle. Like Elizabeth says, please take care of yourself and the baby and trust that God will take care of the rest. I pray for you that you will have peace during these circumstances. Take care.

To all adoptive mums, I've handed in my HSR and I'm scheduled for my interview soon. I'm excited and nervous, all at the same time. What will they be asking? Anybody got advice? ;)
Hi Marsha

We come from a healthy, financially stable, loving family with a child. We do not believe in buying a child but we would love to adopt a child who needs care and family love.

What we can assure you is that we are able to love the child just like our own.

Do drop me a note at [email protected] and we can discuss further.
Hi everyone!

My husband & I have been married for 5 yrs now, and we started to try for a baby since 2007 (2 yrs ago), but with no luck. In between we went to a gynae for check up, but there is nothing wrong with us both. I just turned 33 last week, and i wish to never do ivf, so i woke up this morning, and was ready to explore ideas of adoption.

1) If you have any tips on the legal fees/misc fees to be paid to adoption agencies, do share with me.

2) Also i went thru Amman Adoption Agency online, and read abt them. Any reviews?

3) What about adopting infants from overseas? Any stories to share?
Hv done yr HSR?
What i understand once u engage a adoption agency to help u...they will do all necessary things.
Never heard of Amman Adoption agency. I just engage Lotus adoption agency. Total cost for medical and legal fees est to be 25k by Lotus.
Hi yuli,
I went thru all the interview and home visit. Now waiting for the approval on HSR report by MCYS.
Have already called the agency to look out for any available babies. Very excited

By now, u should went thru all the interview like me ya? Hope to hear gd news from u soon.
Hi BlesswBB,

I haven't had my home visit yet. I haven't called/checked with any agency yet. Glad to know you have already engaged an agency to help you - how exciting!!!! I didn't realise the agency price has gone up. From the previous postings last year, most adoptive parents paid about 15 - 18k.

I have a few questions. Hope you can help me with them?

1)What was the home visit like? What kind of qns did they ask?
2) What made you choose Lotus Adoption agency?
3) You said you've asked the agency to look out for babies for you - does it mean, they don't have babies at the moment and they will only start asking/looking around when they have interested adoptive parents?

I'm really excited for you! Please continue to update me. All the best!!!
Dear Yuli, I am completing the HSR from Fei Yue. Struggling but going on...

Interviews? Yes yes, anyone who has "been there, done that" and is willing to share insight to the types of questions would be most welcomed and appreciately. Can also email me directly at [email protected] :))

Dear BlesswBB, do you mean you engaged an adoption agency without completing your HSR? And that the agency can be a one-stop-shop providing a package deal, i.e. helps you in completing the HSR plus look out for a suitable baby?
HI wish2bmum,

I know what it's like to do the HSR. Very tedious but at the same time, there were good questions that 'forced' us to discuss/reflect so that was good.

the questions during the interview are pretty much based on the HSR. The interviewer may clarify some points from your HSR with you and may get you to elaborate on some points.

I believe BlesswBB has finished her interview and home visit already. She is now just waiting for the final approved HSR report from MCYS which is why she can already start calling adoption agencies. So exciing hor?

All the best to you as you work through the HSR! Update me as you go along, ok?
hi yuli,
sorry for the late reply. Have been busy shopping baby stuff.
1) The home visit - the officers in charge will visit your home to see whether it is suitable for your new child and at the sametime they are there to interview your parents. This is to see whether they are prepared to accept your child as their grandchild. They also ask a few qn that they have doubt on what u have indicated on the report.
2) What made me choose lotus - The reason is i've called a few agency. Some get there babies from indonesia and some are very professional that they try to feed to your requirement eg. double eyelid, blood group. Which i don find it neccessary cos i believe we will stil hv to be open to our child 1 day that they are adopted. Lotus get their babies from Malaysia..and once u are chinese they will look for pure chinese babies for u.
3. I'm not so sure abt it. We hv a personal interview with the agent and she show me all legal documents that were done up for the adopted parents..only recent case. So i presume she has baby on hands. She did show us a baby boy abt 9mths old but my hubby prefer a girl.
Hope these will answer yr qn. Good luck!!
Dont worry too much on the question they will ask. Mostly qn u found in the HSR forms. They just wan more details abt it. But there will also be sensitive qn like, what the reason u cant have kids? and how are u both (hubby and yourself) handle this situation. When both of u fight will u both settle yr problem or u let the matter rest.

I din engage the agency until i finished the interviews. I start looking agency after i submitted my HSR. By the time i finished my interview i'm sure which agency to go.
If u looking for a 1 stop agency, u can look for Joy adoption service centre. They will help u on this. They provide service to help u with the reports and adoption. But they charge abt 27k.
Opps...forgot to update u.
Very sad today cos actually hv a baby to view but the agency called. She said baby face got birthmark...she has to be rejected. There will be 1 more baby this coming week. Hope this will be the one....
Hi BlesswBB, thx for answering my qns. So happy & excited for u that u r viewing babies already! A friend of mine also adopted from Lotus & has very gd things to say abt the agency.

Does this mean if all's ok with baby that's coming in this week then u can bring baby home like within a matter of weeks? wow!

Buying baby stuff must b so nice
Must b quite hectic too since gotta buy & get everything ready quickly! All the best, BlesswBB. You're gonna b a mum!
Hi yuli,
I think most of the mummy engage lotus here.
If i get to view the baby tmr, i will be able to bring the baby home the next day after the medical check up...that is y i have no time to waste...been buying baby things happily. Especially with the GSS on now...make me can't resist in buying. Nearly spend abt $800 on her liao (include baby cot) hehe
Just imagine got so excited yesterday, when i was at Robinson sale in many baby stuff and my parents and cousin were there to help me choose all her happy and excited.
It will be your turn which stage r u now? Have u went thru the home visit? Which centre handle yr case?
hi BlesswBB, yah, now with GSS is the perfect time 2 get all yr stuff! Do u already noe how old the baby will b? or u juz buy a few clothes in bigger size 1st?

I've finished home visit, now waiting for final report. I hvnt called any agency yet. I wana wait til I get the final rpt b4 I start calling agencies.

B4 going to Lotus, did u try any shelters for unwed mums in Singapore?
I looking for new born to 3mths old baby so most clothings I bgt r 3mths and above.
No I din go those places cos it will take a long time waiting for 1. I understand e queue r very long.
Hi yuli,
still haven't see any babies yet. Only manage to see 1 of the baby photo. By the photo we can feel whether there is "yuan" between us. According to the agent, we will be able to view on Monday. Sigh...Not giving myself high hope in getting to see her....have been delayed many times until i'm very disappointed liao.
Do have any idea how long we need to wait for the final report? Have been waiting since 2 weeks ago. According to the officer in charge, she has submitted it to MCYS. Very worried it will be rejected. Sigh....stress stress stress
hi BlesswBB,
wat do u mean by delayed many times? do u mean agent say will bring baby into Spore by a certain day but baby doesnt show up, then kerna wait some more? Ugh, sounds like emotiomal roller-coaster. Btw, I tried calling Joyful & Lotus Adoption agencies & both had boy babies but no girls! We also prefer a girl.

I was also told final rpt can b ready within 1-2 wks but mine is also being reviewed & held up by MCYS. I'm also worried mine will b rejected. Sigh. After so many TTC & IVF, I really wish my application to adopt will suceed smoothly!

Wishing u all the very very best! Hope we can both hear fr MCYS nxt wk!
Yuli & BlesswBB, I haven't been writing to the forum as I'm busy completing my HSR forms. But I've been reading your progress & is very excited for BlesswBB. I finally obtained my health chk rpt so will submit my HSR forms next wk. Wish me luck. :)

Yuli, I share your sentiments tat the emotional stress now is not any lighter than the many IUIs and IVFs we've been thru. Not forgetting we r all physically & financially drained after the earlier failed medical attempts. Sigh, why must the authorities make it so difficult for us to adopt. Sure hope someone starts to understand our earnesty to have a child. :-(
Hi Wish2bmum, so glad 2 hear yr HSR is almost ready for submission! 1 step closer to being a mum! Which agency r u using? I'm spending my free time reading abt babies ~ their developmental milestones & how 2 care 4 them. Hope can put into practice one day!
Hi yuli,
If u interested in girl, it is not that they don hv but have to wait longer time. But look like waiting time don seems to take very long. For me abt 2-3 weeks.
Ya...initially agent told me got to wait for some documentation for the baby then call up to say last Thur but was delayed due to baby mum went thru casearan so its painful for her to travel. So have to delay till next monday. Very worried if this baby got no "yuan" with us we got to wait again.
My hubby don seems to like the baby by the photo. I'm neutral still need to see before deciding.
We in the same boat huh...also went thru many TTC & IVF liao also praying hard this will go thru smoothly.
glad to hear u r 1 step closer to your dreams.
ya...agree with this is not any lighter than the IVFs we been thru.
The day we haven received the final report we still worrying. Wat if we kana rejected? And the baby is already with us....sigh....

How did u find out yr report is being held up? For us, we received a call from the assessor to find out more on the report then we didn't hear any news from them.
hi BlesswBB,

We also received a call fr assesor 2 clarify some qns & said MCYS reviewing our case. I'm sure mcys isnt out to "fail" us. I guess they juz wanna make sure the adoptive family is the best possible one. Itz probably not easy being in their shoes. Well, praying we both receive good news fr mcys this week!
Yuli, I'm submitting my HSR thru Fei Yue. On adoption agency, not decided yet. BlesswBB said her agency is Lotus. In fact many users of tis forum has engaged Lotus. And fr BlesswBB's assessment, seems like they r gd & can arrange for babies pretty fast.

BlessBB, do u mean you get to see the BB, not just photos? And u can still decide if it's a yes or no? The BB comes to Spore, not u go to Msia?

Yuli and BlessBB, excited for both of u as your rpts mayb out tis wk. :) BlesswBB said Joy agency charges 27k for 1-stop-shop & Lotus charges 25k for BB placement. Do u noe of any agency tat could b cheaper? We r quite drained financially fr the IUIs & IVFs so anything >20k is quite tight for us.
Hi wish2bmum, I only called Joy & Lotus so far and I got the same pricing as well. The difference betwn the 2 agencies (as far as I can tell) is Joy arranges for a more detailed medical chkup. In addition to the bloodtest, baby will go through brain/heart/lung/liver/kidney scan. I think those are the main organs he told me (dunno if I missed out any!). Lotus doesn't organise a medical scan only the blood test. I think the lady from Lotus did say that she can help to arrange a medical scan @ Gleneagles if we want but it'll be additional charge. So, maybe the costs will end up about the same.

I tried calling Greenhouse Adoption Agency but the guy was out of town.

It is very expensive but it looks like if we don't have our own contacts (either local or overseas), we will have to go through the agencies
hi wish2bmum,
Yes we get 2 see the photo 1st then in person. Alice will arrange 4 the baby to come into sg. If u don like they will arrange 4 another baby until u think is the right 1.
Same as yuli we only contacted Joy & Lotus. The rest of the agency babies comes from indonesia & countries that r non chinese. Maybe u can start checking out website on other agency. U can also call mcys to queue 4 local baby when available.
hi ladies,
I got my report approved by MCYS today! i'm so relieved & happy! Guess I can finally really talk in depth with an adoption agency!
Congrats! How long is the waiting time? Mine still not here. MCYS still clarifications...sigh
I have found a baby we love. Went to see her today she so beautiful. Do u know that when I 1st lay eyes on her I fell in love with her. I just can't describe hoe I feel. We just know she's the 1 for us. Now we are so worried.
BlesswBB, hang in there. Mine took abt 2 wks but I also kerna called up 4 quite a bit of clarifications. I was told earlier this wk that MCYS has quite a lot of rpts 2 go thru at the moment. I hope you'll get yr approval over nxt few days. I'm so so so glad 4 u dat you've seen a baby girl u feel is right for u. I can "feel" yr joy & excitement fr wat u wrote! Is this the same baby whose photo u saw?
We just send our concern to the officer in charge, she will expediate the matter & should receive the report soon.
No it's a different baby. As I told u the baby mum not willing to give up. So my agent decided to find another 1 which took her only 3 days to find 1. We r really very happy. Have been sending her photo around showing off her beautiful face. Hehe
I think u should consider engaging lotus they r very good. U just need to wait 2 to 3 weeks of waiting time.
BlesswBB, can i also wana see baby's picture? if u dont mind lah. Can send to me via PM function? Gd idea 2 ask assesor 2 chase 4 u. I'm soooooo excited & happy 4 u. Yah, thx 4 yr suggestiom. Will probably make an appt 2 c Alice soon. I wonder how she finds all these mums who cant care 4 their child! She seems very quick in finding them.
So exciting! So happy for BlesswBB! Me too 1 2 c photo, can PM me too? Is she the baby u saw on Monday whom the mother had cesarean so nid 2 rest b4 traveling 2 SG?
Thanks! We r very happy especially she is with us now. I will Pm her photo to both u & wish2bmum when I'm back. I'm currently out of town over the weekend. Aiyo missed her so badly already. I have left her with alice she's a nice person.

Hi AH, thx, but actually hvnt seen any bb yet so not yet stepped in2 parenthood but hopefully soon!

BlesswBB, really happy for you!

I talked 2 Alice & she'll arrange 4 us 2 mt with a bb soon, hopefully this wk.

My qn 2 AH, BlesswBB & ALL adoptive mums is, wen u 1st saw yr bb, did all of u hv that instant connection & the feeling where u noe that bb's the one?

When I told my parents we may get 2 c a bb soon, they looked happy but also asked me 2 chk bb's rt hand 2 c her life line etc. That surprised me. All this time, they didnt say anything of this sort. Their superstition worried me, sigh. There r so many things we cant predict will happen/develop in the child later & I told them we gotta receive & accept. Sigh...sorry, juz needed a place 2 say all this.