Can A Porno Addicted Dad Bath His 8yrs Old Daughter?

[yenwps]

Hi Mummies, pls lend me your ears.

My husband is very addicted to porno. Whenever we go out,his eyes would roll around to see gals, his mind is full of sex and gals,it has already effected our relationship.) I discovered tat he bath our P2 gal when I'm not around. He told me tat it's my gal's request but when i question my gal, she told me that its daddy who wants to bath her. He used the shower head to spray water on my gals private part. My gal said "papa played with me.)Is this correct? He knew tat my gal can bath herself everyday without any help from us.When I'm around, he dun bother to bath her at all. He is a person who loves his daughter very much, I confronted him & although he didn't cross e line, I'm still worried!

Can he get aroused when bathing my gal?
If yes, where can i get help?
Is the above normal? How to trust? I really dun know.

thank you.

 

[missyme]

Sorry to say but I think your hb needs some psychological help. On your questions on

whether he can get aroused when bathing your gal-
YES! Definitely!

Please keep very very close eye on your hb and make sure he doesn't bath your daughter ever again!! Tell your daughter to tell you again if he does that when you're not in. You'll never know what will happen..he might cross the line further even more now that your daughter already said that 'papa played with me' It could lead to a police case and he could be nabbed and charged under the CHILDREN"S AND YOUNG PERSONS ACT'

He needs to earn your trust again as such. take care!

 

[pink_popsicles]

oh dear so sorry to hear that. agree with missyme that ur hb needs help. maybe u can try to find a number for any family service centre & perhaps they can help u to get professionals to help. i dont think ur girl would lie to u right. perhaps u should get help asap, & in e meantime try not to let ur hb be alone with ur girl? if anything bad happens (touchwood), ur girl might be scarred for life. we're here to listen!

 

[moorspa7]

Hi yen,

Agree with Melissa, yr husband needs help and he can seek help from IMH directly. Family Service centre can't help much and they are not very efficient, just call and make an appointment with IMH. They do address sex addiction issues, do look up their website. Pls seek help fast before something happens to yr gal. I would not leave my gal with him alone if I were you.

http://www.imh.com.sg/page.aspx?id=140

 

[mehui]

Please advise your hb to seek help!

 

[sweetie_88]

Ya seek help fast before tragic happens!

 

[blur_ballerina]

put a cctv in your house please! i am very worried for your daughter.

 

[nannysands]

Dont leave ur dot alone with him,is not healthy for her,is her going stage.Dont let her have wrong idea that father can bath her,touch her body,private parts etc,till something happen is too late.PLEASE PROTECT UR DAUGHTER.............

 

[shimaro]

my hb bath for my 3 yrs old...he use water spray on her pte part. but didnt use hand to touch it.

firstly, u must find out whether is your hb or your gal intention tat your hb bath for her.

u need monitor and see who tell lies.
my 3 yrs old gal can tell lies furthermore is a 8 yrs old gal.

she may tell lies cos she may scared u scold/beat her for asking father to bath for her.

get the picture 1st.

 

[bbgwen]

When should hubby stop bathing our girls? At what age do your kids start bathing themselves?

 

[cel_cel]

I wld advise not to leave ur dau alone wf ur hb at home. Its precaution n if u aldy have such worries, u shld know ur hb can't be trusted 100% wf ur dau. I taught my dau since she was 5yo Tat no one can touch her body esp her pte part except for myself, hb,helper n her grandma. Her dad helps wf showering her at times bt nv touch her pte part. He will instead ask her to wash herself at the pte area. I tink fathers shld also know the line to draw wf their dau.

 

[hiteru]

I feel that whether it was a simple bath that your daughter requested from her daddy or whether he has other intentions, it is better to draw a line faster. One moment of irrationality is all it takes. There is already irregularity in what your hubby said and what your daughter said. So try to find ways so that your hubby doesn't get the chance to bath her again. You can also educate your daughter to refuse to allow him to bath her.

Like you said, your hubby is very addicted to porn and as much as I don't want to make him sound like a pervert but I'm afraid he might lose control in one moment. Better to play safe and protect your daughter.

 

[lsphua]

Please keep a watchful eye at home. I am very worries for your daughter.

 

[dadof4]

Hi bbgwen,

My wife don't allow me when my daughter turned 4years old. As for what age the child can start bathing I think my wife start them at age 3.

 

[dadof4]

Hi yen,

I don't think you should think of that. Unless you caught him then nothing much to say.

You can tell your daughter to bath when her father not around.

You can find reason to ask your husband not to help your daughter to bath. She is independently enough to bath on her own.

 

[tempo4me]

Before anything goes terribly wrong, I think you should tell your hubby to seek help. If he don't want to, force him to. If he is too embarrassed to, then you go along with him to see doctor.

Leaving the matter alone and just by keeping your daughter away from your husband is not a long term plan. You can't keep staying at home when your little girl is around or bringing her along with you everything you go out...

What happens if she grows bigger? Now she is 8 yrs old, what if she is 18 yrs old and your hubby still like that?

Best is to solve your hubby's problem instead of keeping them away.

 

[sunshineday08]

Sorry about what happened... if I were you, print these messages and showed him!!! He's addicted to porn and he knows it himself and you know it too, so he shouldn't be surprised and upset with our comments here!

By the way, guess what, I'm a proud daddy of a 4yo girl and coming from a man's mouth, i personally think your husband should stop showering for your 8yo!!!

 

[buzz]

You should handle this with care ... you do not want to spoil the father-daughter relationship.

Have a good talk with your hubby and go with him to seek treatment. And keep daddy's problem from your girl (until you feel she can understand) else even a touch of her hand from daddy, she will scream molest !!!

All the best to you ....

 

[blueswimmercrab]

i really feel for you. this is a issue which most mothers wish they would never consider.

for all those people out there who think porn is completely innocent, please reconsider your stance. it turns tragic when a father becomes consumed by his addictions, that we no longer can tell if his showering of his girl is all innocent or sinister.

 

[angie2288]

Yen, if i were u, i'll NEVER EVER leave my gal alone with her dad, not even 1 min alone with him. And if he's not getting treatment i'll leave him. I can't live with a psycho and
I can't let my gal live in such threat.
If anything happens to her, u going to regret all your life. I'll never let this happen to my gal now 3yo.

u gotta be really firm & strong.
get a good chance to talk to him seriously in the quickiest time possible.
Tell him either he make a choice or u'll have to make yours.

 

[yukie]

Totally agree with angie2288!

 

[sunshineday08]

Yen, sorry... our guess is u must be feeling so sad and at the same time anxious, with our comments here, but we truly care for your daughter, that's why we speak the truth in love!

Sorry are u still reading this forum, didn't get to see your response?

Regards

 

[reginabey]

Is she very stressed? Not even a simple "thank you"...

 

[cathkidston]

I agree with Buzz to have a good talk with your hubby. Hopefully you can make him see this as a problem that needs professional help.

I have to admit that i felt kinda sick after reading that and so did my hubby.

When I was a kid, my mum had to work long hours, dad stay home most of the time. He stop bathing me when I was like 2-3 (mum bath me bef/aft work)? He even explained to me that the reason why he doesnt hug me so much when playing is because I'm a girl and growing up (and its not that he doesnt love me anymore).

Hubby and I also agreed that i will do the diaper changes (and cleaning) / bathing, if we have a baby girl in future. I will feel very uncomfy if he touches her "there"..

 

[stefan]

I think by P2, your gal should be independent enough to bath herself, coming to such age, I guess daddies should start refraining themselves from showering their gals. Gals starts their puberties as early as P3, I don't think it is appropriate regardless whether daddy has a concerning habit or not.

 

[toblerone]

The Straits Times 4 June 2013, Tuesday​

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