<b>What Hubbies and Daddies want…</b>

tanlengleng

Active Member
Good article from here;
http://sg.******************/dads_speak_up/

We scoured the streets of Orchard and spoke to over 100 Singaporean dads about parenting and their relationship with their wives. This is what they had to say...

What Hubbies and Daddies want...The secret is out when Dads speak out and pour out what makes them tick and what ticks them off!

1) Stop nagging

When you nag at me, I automatically tune you out. Instead, you are better of making a list of the things you want me to do, give me a deadline, and I promise you it’ll be done! If I don’t do it, then nag at me. But not before listing it. PS: When you nag, you remind me of my mother – and that’s not necessarily a good thing!

2) Recognize our efforts

Why is it you only see the stuff that I didn’t do? What about all the things I did do? Like accompany you for all your sappy chick flicks, visit with your family on Sundays, when we all know it should be soccer day! Acknowledgement some times would be nice.

3) Don’t be a Nazi

Stop micromanaging my relationship with the kids. They are MY kids too! If I want to take them for a movie or for ice cream, I should be “allowed” to. I really hate asking you for “permission”.

4) Stop guilt-tripping us

I just want to have a little free time without feeling guilty that I am not spending enough time with the kids. Being Super dad and Super provider is not a walk in the park!

5) Just chill

What’s wrong with short cuts? If we aren’t going out, why can’t the kids be in their PJ all day? And do we really have to comb her hair? Can’t it be messy for just one day? Isn’t bed head supposed to be fashionable?

6) Give us room for mistakes

Give us the opportunity to hone our parenting skills. If you keep breathing down our back every time we try to change the diaper, we’re never going to learn.

7) Your standards…sigh

Lower your standards for heaven’s sake. If we’ve cleaned the bathroom, and it looks clean to us, then guess what, it’s clean. Don’t get mad at us and redo it. We’re never going to offer to do it again!

8)Amore

Nothing makes us as happy as sex. Not the amazing dinner you cooked. Not the surprise holiday you planned. Not even the fact that you are willing to sit through the World Cup with us. We can live without all of that. We cannot live without sex.

9) Hello, I exist!

You are married to me. Not your mother or best friend. Discuss major decisions with me first, before you discuss it with them!

10) Where’s my wife?

I know the kids are important, but so am I. I didn’t sign up for a ten-minutes a night wife. Would it really kill you to come to bed early once a week? And no we don’t have to have sex. We can just talk (when I say we, I mean you keep quiet for once, and let me talk for a change)

PS: Help save a marriage! How? By forwarding this article to your mummy friends!
 


All these not only apply to dads. :p Some applies to husband actually...

After marrying, I realized one thing that many women failed to see. You can't change your man, your man will change when he sees the need to. What you can change is yourself (your mindset actually)

I've learnt to close one eye (sometimes even both eyes) when it comes to housework cos my husband always say "I am not a kid, if you want me to do the housework, let me do it MY OWN WAY. If you want it your way, do it YOURSELF".

I understand what he is talking about and realized I've turned into my mother when she asked me to help out the housework (which I hate totally because she always wants me to do it HER WAY). Thus, I changed.
 
This is interesting. I was at an Office happy hour recently, and I thought I'd have a beer. Some senior folks from the management commented that I am the only non-caucasian female drinking! And then they teased me about how married women, mothers, especially should not be drinking... To which I explained to them, that in fact it is crucial for married women, mothers especially, to drink - otherwise, our husbands will need to drink with some other women!! <wink>
 
Good article for all women to read. Some of the points also apply to women like me who are already married, e.g. #2, 3, 4, 9.

In fact, should have a similar one for ladies - What wifeys and mummies really want!
 
What wifeys and mummies really want? :p Check this book out. My hubby bought me on my birthday... Cheer me up totally.

Everything Men Know About Women
 
The above list is so not fair. If all the hubbies can be automatic abit, the above list wun exist.

Eg. If u do it the 1st time we ask, then we wun need to ask n ask n ask...then becm nagging. U think we like to sound like ur mum?

2) we oso gotta put up with ur mums aka the MILs.

4) so now we gotta work, go thru pregnancy, childbirth,confinment, bfg, nite feeding, weaning, losing the bb wt,cook, discipline kids, worry abt cc, when kids get sick, sch work, all the while looking good enuff not to be labelled yellow face hag. Or nag in tis case. Does tis sound like a park as well?

5) chill? I like tis. So can i sleep in, dun cook, leave the kids hungry,crying,no need chg diaper.?They can raid the fridge n eat all the junk they wan. So who's gonna be the one picking up after them at the end of the day?

8)lol..tis one i hv nothg to say..explains all the affairs and marriage breaking up nwadays. U cannot expect a woman to cook clean sweep,take care of kids, then when nite falls, she can suddenly turn into a temptress, still got energy to seduce u..?

9) hello? We tried..but nothg goes into ur head, thus we hv pt #1 problem. U guys just wanted a LIST, rem?

10)If u take over the nite time routine, im sure i can hv the time to soak in the bath, relax, smell nice, and we can hv tt 10 minutes. Maybe even be in the mood for sex.

The rest i cant comment cos nv happen to me.
 
sungrapes,
it's time to site down &amp; have a good talk with your hubby...
happy.gif
 
sungrapes, love wat you have jus mentioned. Can we also hav a list of wat wife and mummy wan?

After a days work, evening houseworks and kids. I really don have the energy. Plus nite feeds.... I'm aldy going crazy. Where got energy. I don wan to nag cos I'm too tired but no choice. And I'm not nagging, I jus ask or tell but he always say I scold or hag at him.
 
it's a confirm biased list!

1) who likes to nag?! makes us have more wrinkles and lines! But if you guys can be automatic / hire maid for us to let us nag at maid / be stay at home mum!

2) And why are we the only ones that should recognize your effort? what abt u recognizing our efforts? or just becuase we're woman/mother so everything we do are by default we need to do so nthing great abt it?

3) of coz you are allowed to provided you are so automatic to take care of the consequences later on! eg the kids falling sick after taking too much junk food

4) This one i keep asking my hubby to go out but he just too lazy to do that so blame who?

5) this one i agree with sungrapes! how i wish we are just made in a way that guys are! can lose both eyes to everything!

6) then who give us room for mistakes? mother in law or sister in law?

7) Then for goodness sake, why can't you try to raise your standard a bit? dun you know there's a saying that how you behave at home is how you behave at work?!

8) We will be one weird personality if at this minute nagging at you and the next min have super mood to do it on bed!

9) So did you every discuss major issues with us first before letting your 'brothers' know ? or best deceide everything on your own and as wife we should just be supportive in every decision u made? if nt we're nt good wife

10) Pt 10 is the same as Pt 8

Sorry ladies, for being so long winded!
 
女人们,请做当年的你。不要因为有了孩子而改变。

Be the you before you were married.
How?
1) Hire a domestic helper to help with the chores.
2) Ask the husband to help register all the classes/enrichment.
3) Our job is to plan where to have dinner and go out to have fun with family.
4) Go for your facial or shopping to doll yourself up.
5) MIL/FIL issues, ask him to handle his parents. Don't care, don't hear, don't suggest. Just zip up your mouth smile back to MIL/FIL when issues arises. Point to husband and say: "ask him."
6) Mind your own business. Don't plan anything involving in-laws unless being asked to. No one asks you, just sip up your mouth and smile back. (Remember that no one will thank you)

At the end of the day, don't be a yellow cabbage, 菜烂了就没人要了。
 

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