Are you stress as working mum?

yar this is what I am planning to do. feed more in the evening , on top of the small dream feed I usually give at abt 9 ish 10. then can do the next feed at 6am

Yeah, it will work out well for you eventually when you return to work :) My little one recently caught the flu bug.. then had not been sleeping through the night for the past week... at times, she wakes up to drink milk then start to play and sing to herself at 3am :( Poor me...
 


I am feeling so stessed up recently. I just moved on to a new company (smaller set up) and into a new role. I have to get used to the culture, the people, the place and the work. The sad thing here is during lunch time, everyone has their own appt. It's so different from my previous pl and I feel so sianz.
Sometimes I just ask myself whether it is worth it to chg job for that 20% pay increase.
My appetite is also poorer now, probably due to stress but I am also worried about my health. Perhaps I should do for a body check up.
I even thought if seeing a counseller to help me to cope with such work stress.
Anyone else like me???
 
I am feeling so stessed up recently. I just moved on to a new company (smaller set up) and into a new role. I have to get used to the culture, the people, the place and the work. The sad thing here is during lunch time, everyone has their own appt. It's so different from my previous pl and I feel so sianz.
Sometimes I just ask myself whether it is worth it to chg job for that 20% pay increase.
My appetite is also poorer now, probably due to stress but I am also worried about my health. Perhaps I should do for a body check up.
I even thought if seeing a counseller to help me to cope with such work stress.
Anyone else like me???

Hello! It will take some time for you to get immersed in your new company's culture. In a job, the most important factor is your boss as he/she grants the flexibility of working hours, time for expressing milk or even urgent leave etc. Though it will be awesome to have wonderful colleagues to go with, it may take awhile for the frequency to click :)

Maybe a day or 2 before, invite your colleagues out for lunch? Or the other way to break the ice is to offer snacks to them during tea breaks or something. For a FTWM, any incremental salary is useful for the family. Try to spend some time to mingle around with your colleagues and see how it goes. I guess that will solve your appetite and health issues.

However, if your job is giving you undue stress e.g. overwhelming workload and unrealistic deadlines given. Then would suggest that you have a discussion with your boss as there could be a gap between what was expected of you and how much you could deliver.

Take care mummy!
 
your_attorney - - you already changed job and gotten that pay increase. No point wondering now. Just soldier on and move on, and make the best of the situation.

mawby84 - - you take care of baby every night and morning, and then you take care of that old baby called husband? Alamak! He should be the one buying breakfast for you, lar... If not, ask him to settle on his own on the way to work. Otherwise, change the habit and eat more healthy like breakfast with the family - milk, toast, coffee, etc. How did you ever get started being the breakfast runner, anyway? My baby is almost 20mths but wakes 3 times for milk! So my hubby does the 12am one and wakes up early to send the older one to school. I take care of 2 and 3 and send them to childcare. Weekends, also... like has to change a bit - at least enough to accommodate the family into the activities. But I do believe that it is psychologically healthy to maintain a social (or sports) item - so perhaps instead of cycling every sunday, can do alternate sundays, or change it to Saturdays, or something... Discuss with your hubby lar... Ask him, can he imagine, you stick to all your pre-baby routines? I feel that space and small breaks are important - it keeps our mental health in check. And it reminds us to enjoy the small pleasures of life.
 
your_attorney - - you already changed job and gotten that pay increase. No point wondering now. Just soldier on and move on, and make the best of the situation.

mawby84 - - you take care of baby every night and morning, and then you take care of that old baby called husband? Alamak! He should be the one buying breakfast for you, lar... If not, ask him to settle on his own on the way to work. Otherwise, change the habit and eat more healthy like breakfast with the family - milk, toast, coffee, etc. How did you ever get started being the breakfast runner, anyway? My baby is almost 20mths but wakes 3 times for milk! So my hubby does the 12am one and wakes up early to send the older one to school. I take care of 2 and 3 and send them to childcare. Weekends, also... like has to change a bit - at least enough to accommodate the family into the activities. But I do believe that it is psychologically healthy to maintain a social (or sports) item - so perhaps instead of cycling every sunday, can do alternate sundays, or change it to Saturdays, or something... Discuss with your hubby lar... Ask him, can he imagine, you stick to all your pre-baby routines? I feel that space and small breaks are important - it keeps our mental health in check. And it reminds us to enjoy the small pleasures of life.

Hi mummy! Pref is to have hubby get breakfast but well am used to being early riser :) I'll be making a job switch in 2 weeks time therefore my days of being the 'breakfast runner' will end very soon. Yes I do agree on keeping a balance of pre and post baby habits. Just over the weekend, my hubby had a bad fall while cycling and I guess it shook him a little with the amount of 'work' such as house chores, cooking for family, caring for baby involved, as he has injured his elbow and pretty much the entire left top torso from the fall. I hope with this incident, he will give it some thought on prioritising his hobbits and family time so that both parties in the relationship remain sane :)
 
Hi mummies! Happened to see this thread... I'm also feeling stressful and tired... My boy is 2+yrs old and still wake up for milk at night.. 1-2 times per night.. Dats becos he don't eat his dinner.. He ran away when I tried to feed him.. Any way even if he eats he still will wake up once for milk.. A lot of ppl advise that I shld ignore his request for milk.. But the problem is he will cry.. And becos I'm also too tired to have "war" wif him.. So I will make for him and he will con't slp.. When he wakes up... Another stressful task for me.. Dats to send him to sch... He will always tell me he don't wan to go and started crying.. Sigh.. Sometimes I will sit down and think... How come my frens who had kids led a more carefree life than me... And I'm like giving up my life for my kid and family... Really tiring...
Seriously really need to salute all working mummies.. It's tough!
 
Hi mummies! Happened to see this thread... I'm also feeling stressful and tired... My boy is 2+yrs old and still wake up for milk at night.. 1-2 times per night.. Dats becos he don't eat his dinner.. He ran away when I tried to feed him.. Any way even if he eats he still will wake up once for milk.. A lot of ppl advise that I shld ignore his request for milk.. But the problem is he will cry.. And becos I'm also too tired to have "war" wif him.. So I will make for him and he will con't slp.. When he wakes up... Another stressful task for me.. Dats to send him to sch... He will always tell me he don't wan to go and started crying.. Sigh.. Sometimes I will sit down and think... How come my frens who had kids led a more carefree life than me... And I'm like giving up my life for my kid and family... Really tiring...
Seriously really need to salute all working mummies.. It's tough!

Dear summerpiggy, kudos to you on waking up for your boy's night feeds. Well, the elderly folks would suggest that you replace his milk feeds with water, that might help to wean off the night feed. However, I believe its based on needs that the child wake up to feed. Since we are his primary caregiver, we should do what we can to provide. If you want to get some rest, maybe rope in your hubby to help out on 1-2 nights per week?

Did you receive any feedback from the teachers from his school about his behaviour which causes him to cry at the thought of going to school? Or maybe sound your boy out to see what is it about school which he doesn't like? If its due to the environment or factors relating to school (through small talk with your boy's class mate's parents), you may want to consider other options i.e. switching school.

Well I always tell my hubby that 'mummy cannot fall sick!' and its very true. Being mummies, we have a higher level of tolerance and patience and for pain thats why we are 'equipped' to go through childbirth :) Stay positive mummy, very soon your boy will start formal education and during then you will miss times like these :)
 
My daughter cried for a whole year when she first went to N1. Cried every morning. Once I was out of sight, she would wipe her face and start her morning routines and play with friends. Very happy in class, and happy when I pick her up. So, every morning she tried (to see if mommy is weak!) and every morning she failed. At the end of N1, she finally got the message - no point crying... so she stopped. In the meantime, we kept trying to "SELL" her the idea that school is fun. School is for fun and happy people and it is a reward for older children. The slides, the playground, the singing, etc... Of course, we sometimes feel "If you naughty I will send you to school all day!!" but we try to NOT verbalise that thought!

There are 2 types of parents - those who swears by routine (like me!) and those who just "go with the flow". For me, I believe in early start everyday... when kids were younger, their bedtime was 7pm. After settling them in the cot I would cook/eat dinner, do laundry, some cleaning, watch TV, etc. After that it was 7:30pm, and then 8pm. It gives them enough time to calm down and sleep and have a good rest. And it gives me minimum amount of noise to deal with, at home it would be dinner, bath, rest, story time, and bedtime. After that would be ME TIME. We repeat the same routine at around the same time everyday - so there are no surprises, and no need to argue, cos no point in that either! In a way, I like to be in control - makes me feel sane.

Some super moms are super busy all day, everyday is a slightly different timing and routine, and sometimes I really salute them. I can never goto work all day, and then come back to home with kids bouncing around until 10pm or 11pm. These parents tells me they feel guilty not spending time with their children, and since they come home late, they let the kids sleep late. So it is individual preference.
 
Hi Mummies! Thks for the advise and encouraging words. I have not tried giving water rather than milk.. Mayb will try this fri and see how. He has been in sch for a yr.. Nw started to cry like the 1st time we sent him in. I managed to find out what's wrong and spoke to the principle.. Now he's better.. At least he don't cry when he's there.. But still kept saying he don't wanna go sch.. Problem is he's very very sticky to me. Even though my mum was the one who took care of him frm birth till 18mths. Any one have this issue of sticky child?
And yes.. U are right.. We mummies cannot fall sick... Last wk I fell sick.. My fever couldn't go off.. It was terrible as I got to shower and play with him when he's Hm frm sch. But luckily my mum came over to help.
I think we mummies are super mummies!
 
Hi Mummies! Thks for the advise and encouraging words. I have not tried giving water rather than milk.. Mayb will try this fri and see how. He has been in sch for a yr.. Nw started to cry like the 1st time we sent him in. I managed to find out what's wrong and spoke to the principle.. Now he's better.. At least he don't cry when he's there.. But still kept saying he don't wanna go sch.. Problem is he's very very sticky to me. Even though my mum was the one who took care of him frm birth till 18mths. Any one have this issue of sticky child?
And yes.. U are right.. We mummies cannot fall sick... Last wk I fell sick.. My fever couldn't go off.. It was terrible as I got to shower and play with him when he's Hm frm sch. But luckily my mum came over to help.
I think we mummies are super mummies!

Yes, its a tough job we have which requires 24/7 commitment and attention. It's good that your boy is close to you. As i've share earlier, enjoy while it lasts :) Before you know it, he will become a big boy.
 
Thks mawby84! U are right! By the time they grow older they oso don't wan us alrdy... So we shld treasure this period... Jia you to the rest of the working mummies!
 
Hello all mummies.

Just my sharing. For those who need to feed in middle of the night, perhaps can try brown rice cereal add with milk on night last feed before the baby head to bed (Only for 4month and above). During my mum look after me daughter, she feed her brown rice cereal add with milk on last feed. She slept thruout the night and only wake ard 5plus to 6am for milk.

I know the zombie feeling at work.... I hate most.
 
Hi maybb.. Can u share wat brand of brown rice cereal?
cereal_brown_rice_large.png


U can go to any NTUC, giant or even medical hall they sell too.... This picture is for 6month and above. If you wan traditional type, can go medical hall ask about it or search around. Most probably they will recommend with ikan billis or with si shen.
 
Hi maybb.. Can u share wat brand of brown rice cereal?

Hi summerpiggy, I'm using Eu Yan Sang Brown Rice Si Shen powder for my girl but I do not mix it with milk as the powder needs to be cooked over heat as the brown rice is raw. Do note that the EYS brown rice will increase baby's appetite which worked for my girl and it smells very fragrant (something like glutinous rice to me). You can feed your baby this for dinner by mixing it into broth or congee.

So far, I did not include cerelac into my girl's feed as I'm concerned whether the cereal could pass through the milk bottle teats as the hole looks pretty tiny. My girl is using Dr Brown's step 2 teats now.
 
I stay with my parents with my 1yo girl and my hub stay at our house with his father. My girl and I would only go home on Friday to Sunday. During weekdays, I work full time and normally has to do ot till 8pm. After work, I have to look after her, eat dinner, wash & sterilise all the milk bottles and pump, prepare the next day's milk and shower. My girl only sleep at 1+am. So everyday, I sleep from 1+am to 7am.
I have a very good FIL. He does almost all the housework. Last weekend, I was so angry with my hub for not doing a single thing at home during weekdays. He keeps playing candy crush! FIL fold his clothes, he doesn't even bother to keep inside cupboard. With my girl around, he will also play his hp. FIL will have to carry and play with my girl so that I could have a little rest. FYI, FIL is already 83yo and my girl weighs 10.5kg. I was so pissed off that I complained to my FIL who in turn, go and scold his son.
He became angry with me. I told hub that I am very tired and stressed! I have to take care of my girl during weekdays and have little sleep only. I also hold a full time job. Why must I do everything and he could relax? I thought weekends I could relax and he would help me take care, but I was wrong. I still have to cook dinner for everyone, cook porridge and feed my girl. I told him that my FIL is more useful than him.
 
Hi summerpiggy, I'm using Eu Yan Sang Brown Rice Si Shen powder for my girl but I do not mix it with milk as the powder needs to be cooked over heat as the brown rice is raw. Do note that the EYS brown rice will increase baby's appetite which worked for my girl and it smells very fragrant (something like glutinous rice to me). You can feed your baby this for dinner by mixing it into broth or congee.

So far, I did not include cerelac into my girl's feed as I'm concerned whether the cereal could pass through the milk bottle teats as the hole looks pretty tiny. My girl is using Dr Brown's step 2 teats now.
It's unlikely that the cereal can pass thru the teat.
 
Hello all mummies.

Just my sharing. For those who need to feed in middle of the night, perhaps can try brown rice cereal add with milk on night last feed before the baby head to bed (Only for 4month and above). During my mum look after me daughter, she feed her brown rice cereal add with milk on last feed. She slept thruout the night and only wake ard 5plus to 6am for milk.

I know the zombie feeling at work.... I hate most.
i thought we aren't supposed to give an thing except infant formula or BM in the 1st 6 mth?
 
i thought we aren't supposed to give an thing except infant formula or BM in the 1st 6 mth?
Look for cereal that is suitable for 4month and above. I not sure on the shelve are they still selling for 4 month and above. As I bought like 5year ago... Haha.... U need to change the teat to 6month, and it can pass thru. Slowly increase the cereal. Maybe like first week try out 1 tablespoon with milk powder.
If buy from medical hall those traditional type, need to cook first before mixed with milk (It has to be abit dilute in order to drink from milk bottle).

At that time, I no need to wake up middle of the night for extra feed. I feed my ger ard 10pm (last round) and she slept thru out the night till morning ard 5plus to 6am then ask for the milk.

I always start small portion, scare they unable to adapt. This is what my mum taught lah....
 
I stay with my parents with my 1yo girl and my hub stay at our house with his father. My girl and I would only go home on Friday to Sunday. During weekdays, I work full time and normally has to do ot till 8pm. After work, I have to look after her, eat dinner, wash & sterilise all the milk bottles and pump, prepare the next day's milk and shower. My girl only sleep at 1+am. So everyday, I sleep from 1+am to 7am.
I have a very good FIL. He does almost all the housework. Last weekend, I was so angry with my hub for not doing a single thing at home during weekdays. He keeps playing candy crush! FIL fold his clothes, he doesn't even bother to keep inside cupboard. With my girl around, he will also play his hp. FIL will have to carry and play with my girl so that I could have a little rest. FYI, FIL is already 83yo and my girl weighs 10.5kg. I was so pissed off that I complained to my FIL who in turn, go and scold his son.
He became angry with me. I told hub that I am very tired and stressed! I have to take care of my girl during weekdays and have little sleep only. I also hold a full time job. Why must I do everything and he could relax? I thought weekends I could relax and he would help me take care, but I was wrong. I still have to cook dinner for everyone, cook porridge and feed my girl. I told him that my FIL is more useful than him.

Hi dion83sg, both of us operate pretty much the same in terms of level of independence :) The difference is I stay alone with hubby and baby girl. Well I understand that your current schedule is very packed and can make you mentally drained. I guess any FTWM would yearn for even 10 minutes more of sleep, 'me' time or even a good long shower :) You are very fortunate to have a helpful FIL!

For your hubby, your intentions are valid but maybe the approach could be more subtle. Alot of times, there's an expectation gap. We expect this but got that instead. Men have their ego and they would feel hurt if their spouse raise their voices about doing house chores and so on. Maybe go out for a dinner date and seek your FIL's help to look after your girl for awhile. Talk it out with your hubby and share with him what you're going through. He may not know that you are doing alot (Trust me, sometimes guys are just not as observant).

In the meantime, maybe you might want to consider lessen your load by outsourcing. E.g. sacrifice on home cooked meals and order tingkat or pack home instead? For your house chores, can consider a part time cleaner? Stay positive, am here to hear you out :)
 
Look for cereal that is suitable for 4month and above. I not sure on the shelve are they still selling for 4 month and above. As I bought like 5year ago... Haha.... U need to change the teat to 6month, and it can pass thru. Slowly increase the cereal. Maybe like first week try out 1 tablespoon with milk powder.
If buy from medical hall those traditional type, need to cook first before mixed with milk (It has to be abit dilute in order to drink from milk bottle).

At that time, I no need to wake up middle of the night for extra feed. I feed my ger ard 10pm (last round) and she slept thru out the night till morning ard 5plus to 6am then ask for the milk.

I always start small portion, scare they unable to adapt. This is what my mum taught lah....

Hello, currently for cerelac they would state its for 6 months and above. Went to a few supermarkets and did not see anything for smaller infants, therefore figured that cereals arent for babies < 6 months. Personally, I would not recommend cereal in milk even if the baby is above 6 months as having the cereal passed through the teat with milk, would they choke? I could just be being paranoid.

Its really up to you mummy whether you prefer to sacrifice some sleep to feed your baby or bear some risk on putting cereal with formula :)
 
Hi dion83sg, both of us operate pretty much the same in terms of level of independence :) The difference is I stay alone with hubby and baby girl. Well I understand that your current schedule is very packed and can make you mentally drained. I guess any FTWM would yearn for even 10 minutes more of sleep, 'me' time or even a good long shower :) You are very fortunate to have a helpful FIL!

For your hubby, your intentions are valid but maybe the approach could be more subtle. Alot of times, there's an expectation gap. We expect this but got that instead. Men have their ego and they would feel hurt if their spouse raise their voices about doing house chores and so on. Maybe go out for a dinner date and seek your FIL's help to look after your girl for awhile. Talk it out with your hubby and share with him what you're going through. He may not know that you are doing alot (Trust me, sometimes guys are just not as observant).

In the meantime, maybe you might want to consider lessen your load by outsourcing. E.g. sacrifice on home cooked meals and order tingkat or pack home instead? For your house chores, can consider a part time cleaner? Stay positive, am here to hear you out :)

Hi mawby84
TQ for your time.. but I had already told him many times that he could play his hp during weekdays as long as he wants but during weekends when my girl is at home, he should fulfill his father's responsibility, which means shower, play, feed, etc. He knows what I am going thru, its just that completing levels in candy crush is more important to him. I believe that during weekdays, he is also spending all his time playing as all housework is done by my FIL. I had even purposely tell my girl to go find her daddy openly but he didn't catch it. I guess sometimes it is better to act blur... His father also aware of it and is very angry with him and scolded him numerous times (w/o my presence of course).

My FIL likes homecooked food and I wanted to do something for him. After my MIL passed away, he has to settle his meals outside and I could only cook when I am at home during weekends.
 
My mum feed my girl brown rice mixed with bm. We started to feed her brown rice (bought and powdered at medical shop) at around 6mo but she didn't like it and didn't want to eat. We have no choice but to put into milk btl but we would cut the teats bigger. Remember to put them in sitting position to prevent choking. Dr advise to feed solids aft 6mo so better to follow. We cook the brown rice under low heat, since it is in powder form, it is cooked easily. We would normally put pumpkin, sweet potato or potato and mash/blend it.
 
Hi mawby84
TQ for your time.. but I had already told him many times that he could play his hp during weekdays as long as he wants but during weekends when my girl is at home, he should fulfill his father's responsibility, which means shower, play, feed, etc. He knows what I am going thru, its just that completing levels in candy crush is more important to him. I believe that during weekdays, he is also spending all his time playing as all housework is done by my FIL. I had even purposely tell my girl to go find her daddy openly but he didn't catch it. I guess sometimes it is better to act blur... His father also aware of it and is very angry with him and scolded him numerous times (w/o my presence of course).

My FIL likes homecooked food and I wanted to do something for him. After my MIL passed away, he has to settle his meals outside and I could only cook when I am at home during weekends.

Hi dion83sg, very sweet and filial of you to cook for your family :) Seems like your hubby is addicted to the game. If all else don't work, maybe just leave it as it is cause you will only make yourself more upset having to nag at him. Pray that candy crush really 'crushes' then he will realise what's he has been missing :)
 
Hi dion83sg, very sweet and filial of you to cook for your family :) Seems like your hubby is addicted to the game. If all else don't work, maybe just leave it as it is cause you will only make yourself more upset having to nag at him. Pray that candy crush really 'crushes' then he will realise what's he has been missing :)

Yah! Crush the Candy Crush!!!
 
Pinkdoll and gammahedging, same as what my hubby taught daughter. Initial we told her cannot beat back, tell us or school teacher. But aft the nephew beat her so many time and scratch her, my hubby so angry and teach her if didi beat you or kick you, slap him or beat him back. If he bite you, bite him back. My sis in law defend the son, my hubby heart pain the daughter and told the sis off.

Only 1 time I spoke out in front of MIL and every of their relatives, ask her to stop saying my daughter those hurtful word and also told her off that if she is stupid which mean Parent in law, sis in law and everyone in their family tree are stupid.
That time dunno why so angry and fed up, ever since she stop saying stupid in front of me. But i know she still said those word to my ger as my ger told me.

I ask my ger ignore the grandma bad comment.


Aiyo your mil is so bad. Why don't u just don't let your lil gal go over her place. Only go over on special occasions when you and hubby will be there too? I told my hubby about your case and asked what happened if this kinda thing happened to our girl. He said he will be very very angry and will give stern warning to whoever said those nasty words. If it happens again he will boycott going over to mil house. Maybe go once every month or every 2 months instead of biweekly now. And each time only stay for half hour. Haha he very sayang our girl and is very firm on such things. Your hubby has to make his stand clear if not by words then by actions.
 
Hi dion83sg,
Guess all guys are the same... They can't live w/o hp for a sec... My hubby too.. Even meal time he's always looking at his hp.. Either games or FB... At times when I can't take it I will tell him off... So I really feel u too! I oso dunno hw to stop him frm his habits..
 
I use to be on hp playing candy crush. But after sometime, I realised my ger also do the same as she copy us. So I stop myself from looking and playing hp during meal or anytime. I also tk video of my hubby and ger when they look at hp during meal time. I show my hubby and now have to keep remind him HP AWAY.... Makan and chatting now.....
 
Hello mummies,

Since the last update where I've shared that I'm moving on to another job.. its happening coming Monday!!! I hope I'm ready for the switch i.e. mental preparation for challenges and logistic arrangement to make sure I bring my baby girl to the infantcare early enough so that I can reach office on time. To add on, I'm breastfeeding little one, so had to gradually drop 1 pump session at work i.e. try to minimise disruption to work. Since I returned to work after maternity, did not have the luxury to have dinner with hubby. We take turns to eat and to take care of little one. She has 'needy hours', normally from 6.30pm to 7.30pm which coincides with dinner time. So since then, I've terminated tingkat meal delivery and eat breakfast cereals with milk or salad instead.

My schedule had been constantly changing since little one came along. I hope its for the better! Its just busy and busier. I wonder when will I have time for 'making no.2 happen'. By 9.30pm, I feel sleepy and falls asleep almost the moment my face touches the pillow. Many experienced mummies reassured me and shared that it gets better when she turns 1... so its 6 more months to go :) Really salute all mummies here on the commitment and effort to child caring and managing the household!
 
mawby84, you are doing well! you just need time management. Being a mummy really train us to multi-task and be more efficient. It may be tough in the beginning esp. when you start work, but rest assure that things will only get better. Seen there were many things we need to cover, try to simplify life and housework. It will be very helpful if hubby can contribute in whatever he can. :)
In the midst of our busy days, in and out, our little one is actually growing up, i remember coming home realizing the little new skills they pick up and witnessing the little milestones with them. We are very fortunate to be able to be with them after work because i had some coll. who had to put their children in Malaysia as they do not have anyone to help to take care of their bb and they can only see their child once a week. No need to pressure for the second one. Let nature take its course. Normally, when the child is around two years old, you will have more time, and that is when we may want to have the second one :)

Im also a working mummy, my girls are 3 and 6 years old now. I have a coll who always remind me to cherish the time i have now with my girls. She told me how she missed the time when she could read with her and hug her to sleep, she missed the feeling of being needed. She had one daughter and is in sec. 4 now. During weekend, her daughter is even more busier than her and her father. Her daughter had her own world and circle of friends, she prefer to go out with her friends or to do projects or watch movie with them. Both my coll and husband miss her daughter when she is small and still depend on them. :)
 
mawby84, you are doing well! you just need time management. Being a mummy really train us to multi-task and be more efficient. It may be tough in the beginning esp. when you start work, but rest assure that things will only get better. Seen there were many things we need to cover, try to simplify life and housework. It will be very helpful if hubby can contribute in whatever he can. :)
In the midst of our busy days, in and out, our little one is actually growing up, i remember coming home realizing the little new skills they pick up and witnessing the little milestones with them. We are very fortunate to be able to be with them after work because i had some coll. who had to put their children in Malaysia as they do not have anyone to help to take care of their bb and they can only see their child once a week. No need to pressure for the second one. Let nature take its course. Normally, when the child is around two years old, you will have more time, and that is when we may want to have the second one :)

Im also a working mummy, my girls are 3 and 6 years old now. I have a coll who always remind me to cherish the time i have now with my girls. She told me how she missed the time when she could read with her and hug her to sleep, she missed the feeling of being needed. She had one daughter and is in sec. 4 now. During weekend, her daughter is even more busier than her and her father. Her daughter had her own world and circle of friends, she prefer to go out with her friends or to do projects or watch movie with them. Both my coll and husband miss her daughter when she is small and still depend on them. :)

Hello, Thanks for the assurance! needed it badly :) Yeah, I do not place so much emphasis on house chores now. I constantly see piling laundry and floor littered with my hairs but I chose to keep my attention to my girl. And yes, you are very right, they will only need us for this period of time. There will come a time where they are independent and make their own arrangements. So far, am happy to be able to witness the little new skills she picks up from us or her infantcare teachers.

Unfortunately, time is not on my side. It took me 6 years into the marriage to conceive No. 1 naturally and I'm turning 34 in July. But we shall see how it works out. Being the only child, I totally understand how lonely my childhood was. Therefore, am hoping to plan for No. 2. I hope I do not have to wait for another 6 years..
 
thanks for sharing all these experiences mummies....i believe many others will learn from all your sharing :)

my kids are all grown up...how i wish i had this kind of help last time =0
 
Hello all.
Thanks for sharing all these experiences! Technically speaking, I am a mom to be, but i foresee certain scenarios (just by reading the thread) i am gonna face when i return to work after the ML...
the man is a workaholic, hardcore one, no fixed working hours, but def longer then normal working class when he's not even self employed.
there's only 2 of us at home and I am into the 7th month preg, and there are so many occasions whereby when i leave for work at 7am, he's slping. when he returned home sometimes as late as 2am... i am already sleeping. including weekends.
i've little friends to begin with, after i'm preg even lesser coz i get tired easily and tend to choose to rest at home. i'm like, the only one that's married and preg, while the closest group of gfs are all single.. even similar topics getting lesser...
i've noone to talk to, on PH, off days, on rest days, on weekends. my own family is busy with their own biz, and all work till midnight. he's not close to his family.
i was terminated by my previous coy when they know about my preg at 1 month old, super like the job scope and pay! but well... hais. so i managed to find another job.. the boss 'willing' to hire me, but with no other benefits except the maternity leave of 4 mths. No AL, no ... nth... and with a 35% paycut. i am now taking home the salary i was earning when i finished my O'levels. lol. i now travel to work every day via bus-bus-bus-walk. total journey takes me 1.5hours... to and fro is like 3 hours. :( cant quit, coz the man dun support the idea of SAHM.
i've booked childbirth education classes, knowing that i will def need some crash course as i have noone to help me after bb is out, and esp after the CL leaves after 28days. the man say he will attend with me.. but he failed too. i see no point in attending the classes anymore. and the thought of putting the bb at infant care at 4+months kills me.
upcoming next there are times whereby i will be home alone for a few days for the next 2 months. i survived 3 days alone few weeks ago. a few more to go.
Feel like i am going crazy anytime soon, so many times i cried when i was alone. best time to crying fact is during showers. but the thought of emo mummy = emo baby scares me, so i always try to limit my tears to no more then 5 mins.
it's bb kicks and movements that wake me up each time i am feeling emo and down, and keeps me going!

ok. enough of rants. if you'd read till tis far, thank you. :')
 
MybossBump,
*hug* you are feeling this way because you are longing for a human relationship. Please don't close up yourself in the house for too long, start making friends in your new work place or your neighbourhood. :) who knows, you can bump into some nice people and can be friends.

i feel unbearable in a world without human connection, or at least you can use this platform here to talk to us. Have you talked to your husband about your feeling? it will be useful.

It would be good if you could have some help like confinement nanny, your parents or mother-in-law or husband to be with you when you delivered, at least for the first month. Because as a first-time mum, it would be nice to have someone to guide you on taking care of the baby.
You know, the maternity period (no need to work but get paid) with your new bundle of joy is a very exclusive and wonderful experience that you can ever have, this only happen to your first child :) because for the second child, our love and attention will be divided. That way, i always say it is Exclusive, just you and the baby, enjoying each other company, watching her sleeping peacefully, hugging her (love the warm skin contact), observing her when she drink her milk hungrily and eventually witnessing her smiling with satisfaction after her feeds. New born had such a nice smell and i always feel like kissing them, hehe!

As for now, try to take care of yourself by self-awareness, do things that make yourself happy, you can go for a walk after a meal or eat some food that you like (preferably healthy ones) :)
 
MybossBump, since your travelling journey is long, take this time to watch your favorite shows/movies in your hp/ipad. :)
 
MybossBump,
*hug* you are feeling this way because you are longing for a human relationship. Please don't close up yourself in the house for too long, start making friends in your new work place or your neighbourhood. :) who knows, you can bump into some nice people and can be friends.

i feel unbearable in a world without human connection, or at least you can use this platform here to talk to us. Have you talked to your husband about your feeling? it will be useful.

It would be good if you could have some help like confinement nanny, your parents or mother-in-law or husband to be with you when you delivered, at least for the first month. Because as a first-time mum, it would be nice to have someone to guide you on taking care of the baby.
You know, the maternity period (no need to work but get paid) with your new bundle of joy is a very exclusive and wonderful experience that you can ever have, this only happen to your first child :) because for the second child, our love and attention will be divided. That way, i always say it is Exclusive, just you and the baby, enjoying each other company, watching her sleeping peacefully, hugging her (love the warm skin contact), observing her when she drink her milk hungrily and eventually witnessing her smiling with satisfaction after her feeds. New born had such a nice smell and i always feel like kissing them, hehe!

As for now, try to take care of yourself by self-awareness, do things that make yourself happy, you can go for a walk after a meal or eat some food that you like (preferably healthy ones) :)

Thanks @09mumtobe :') thanks for your words.. yes I've gotten confinement nanny for my 1st mth if not likely i will go crazy googling 'how to do confinement'. parents & in laws are out of question, they have their own biz (literally) to run and both parties are not keen to help out. the man's from a broken family and hence not close to them. my own parents in F&B and the hours are morning till midnight. ever talked to the hub a few times, and each time he told me ' i dun udst what he is going thru at his work'. seriously feel like asking if he knows wad i am going thru not but i know its not gonna help but just spark off another argument. and i'd been g-marketing to buy present for myself and bb so it does help 'emotionally'. and yes, i am def looking forward to the newborn smell everyone has been talking about! :p and no i cant watch show on bus because usually theres no seats for me! haha..
 
Mybossbump, right now u and ur baby is more impt.. U still have us here.. We are ur frens if u need someone to talk to.. Gt to really take gd care of urself..
 
Hi mawby84
TQ for your time.. but I had already told him many times that he could play his hp during weekdays as long as he wants but during weekends when my girl is at home, he should fulfill his father's responsibility, which means shower, play, feed, etc. He knows what I am going thru, its just that completing levels in candy crush is more important to him. I believe that during weekdays, he is also spending all his time playing as all housework is done by my FIL. I had even purposely tell my girl to go find her daddy openly but he didn't catch it. I guess sometimes it is better to act blur... His father also aware of it and is very angry with him and scolded him numerous times (w/o my presence of course).

My FIL likes homecooked food and I wanted to do something for him. After my MIL passed away, he has to settle his meals outside and I could only cook when I am at home during weekends.
All men are quite similar. My hubby travel every other week. And he says things like he miss his children, how he wish he dun have to travel. But the week he is in sgp, he glued himself to his hp. I find his words so contracdicting.
 
Hello all.
Thanks for sharing all these experiences! Technically speaking, I am a mom to be, but i foresee certain scenarios (just by reading the thread) i am gonna face when i return to work after the ML...
the man is a workaholic, hardcore one, no fixed working hours, but def longer then normal working class when he's not even self employed.
there's only 2 of us at home and I am into the 7th month preg, and there are so many occasions whereby when i leave for work at 7am, he's slping. when he returned home sometimes as late as 2am... i am already sleeping. including weekends.
i've little friends to begin with, after i'm preg even lesser coz i get tired easily and tend to choose to rest at home. i'm like, the only one that's married and preg, while the closest group of gfs are all single.. even similar topics getting lesser...
i've noone to talk to, on PH, off days, on rest days, on weekends. my own family is busy with their own biz, and all work till midnight. he's not close to his family.
i was terminated by my previous coy when they know about my preg at 1 month old, super like the job scope and pay! but well... hais. so i managed to find another job.. the boss 'willing' to hire me, but with no other benefits except the maternity leave of 4 mths. No AL, no ... nth... and with a 35% paycut. i am now taking home the salary i was earning when i finished my O'levels. lol. i now travel to work every day via bus-bus-bus-walk. total journey takes me 1.5hours... to and fro is like 3 hours. :( cant quit, coz the man dun support the idea of SAHM.
i've booked childbirth education classes, knowing that i will def need some crash course as i have noone to help me after bb is out, and esp after the CL leaves after 28days. the man say he will attend with me.. but he failed too. i see no point in attending the classes anymore. and the thought of putting the bb at infant care at 4+months kills me.
upcoming next there are times whereby i will be home alone for a few days for the next 2 months. i survived 3 days alone few weeks ago. a few more to go.
Feel like i am going crazy anytime soon, so many times i cried when i was alone. best time to crying fact is during showers. but the thought of emo mummy = emo baby scares me, so i always try to limit my tears to no more then 5 mins.
it's bb kicks and movements that wake me up each time i am feeling emo and down, and keeps me going!

ok. enough of rants. if you'd read till tis far, thank you. :')

First of all, congrats on your pregnancy! You had already come this far to the 3rd trimester, well done! Other than immediate family members, would you be able to seek comfort in cousins or cousins in law? Earlier, you've shared that your previous company terminated your service upon knowing about your pregnancy. Have you sought any advice from MOM about this to seek some form of recourse? I think this constitutes unfair treatment or discrimination.

I feel you in terms of needing the emotional support during pregnancy and confinement period. It was weird like I tear at the slightest things (which I normally wouldn't). It got pretty bad for me like I would wake up in the middle of the night to cry (for no good reason). I shared with my gynae and she referred me to a psychiatrist just to make sure everything was ok.

Putting your baby in infantcare isnt a bad thing as most families now rely on dual income. Its painful initially like for the first couple days but it will get better :) If you could, consider putting your baby in infantcare slightly earlier, just in case he / she isnt used to the place and you might want to enrol him / her in another infantcare. If you're concerned over the level of care and attention provided (infantcare normally 3 to 4 infants to 1 teacher), you may consider nanny services which is usually 1 to 1. I started my little girl on infantcare when she turned 3 months old. If you need more info or advice on infantcare, you can PM me :)

During your confinement, have the CL lady do everything and have as much rest as you can. In the meantime, you can choose whether you would like to breastfeed. If yes, its a good time to start reading up on breastfeeding tips. It can be a little tricky during the start :)
 
First of all, congrats on your pregnancy! You had already come this far to the 3rd trimester, well done! Other than immediate family members, would you be able to seek comfort in cousins or cousins in law? Earlier, you've shared that your previous company terminated your service upon knowing about your pregnancy. Have you sought any advice from MOM about this to seek some form of recourse? I think this constitutes unfair treatment or discrimination.

I feel you in terms of needing the emotional support during pregnancy and confinement period. It was weird like I tear at the slightest things (which I normally wouldn't). It got pretty bad for me like I would wake up in the middle of the night to cry (for no good reason). I shared with my gynae and she referred me to a psychiatrist just to make sure everything was ok.

Putting your baby in infantcare isnt a bad thing as most families now rely on dual income. Its painful initially like for the first couple days but it will get better :) If you could, consider putting your baby in infantcare slightly earlier, just in case he / she isnt used to the place and you might want to enrol him / her in another infantcare. If you're concerned over the level of care and attention provided (infantcare normally 3 to 4 infants to 1 teacher), you may consider nanny services which is usually 1 to 1. I started my little girl on infantcare when she turned 3 months old. If you need more info or advice on infantcare, you can PM me :)

During your confinement, have the CL lady do everything and have as much rest as you can. In the meantime, you can choose whether you would like to breastfeed. If yes, its a good time to start reading up on breastfeeding tips. It can be a little tricky during the start :)

Hello @mawby84 thank you! :) No cousins. All of them are in Msia and we perhaps meet once a year. Haha.. In fact there's only one cousin with kids and he married at a super young age. I did not sought advise from MOM, but many told me i should hv done so, at least, get some form of compensation. but it's gonna be tricky as i was asked to leave by 'tendering'... so ya. *shrug
I feel u. I know wad u meant by waking up to cry for no reason.because thats what i've faced at times. i will be thinking why the hub can go out makan with his people till 4am but cannot come back and accompany me den i will start getting emo.
I'm thinking of placing bb in half day infant care for starter, perhaps like u say 3rd mth onwards to see how he cope. once i return to work he will be on full day. nanny service will be my last resort if the waiting list is too long for those infant cares.
AND YES! I wanna breastfeed. Hopefully for at least 6 mths and if i can make it to 1 year it would be even better... did u manage to BF ur girl?
 
Hello @mawby84 thank you! :) No cousins. All of them are in Msia and we perhaps meet once a year. Haha.. In fact there's only one cousin with kids and he married at a super young age. I did not sought advise from MOM, but many told me i should hv done so, at least, get some form of compensation. but it's gonna be tricky as i was asked to leave by 'tendering'... so ya. *shrug
I feel u. I know wad u meant by waking up to cry for no reason.because thats what i've faced at times. i will be thinking why the hub can go out makan with his people till 4am but cannot come back and accompany me den i will start getting emo.
I'm thinking of placing bb in half day infant care for starter, perhaps like u say 3rd mth onwards to see how he cope. once i return to work he will be on full day. nanny service will be my last resort if the waiting list is too long for those infant cares.
AND YES! I wanna breastfeed. Hopefully for at least 6 mths and if i can make it to 1 year it would be even better... did u manage to BF ur girl?

Heys good morning @MyBossBump, on what I shared about MOM... I went through it myself (unfortunately). When I contacted MOM, they advised me to escalate the matter to the highest man in the firm and see if what could be done and added that I should not submit resignation letter no matter what happens. MOM would only be able to act if there's black and white termination letter from the employer. Anyway, I had sinced moved on to a new job (thank God for that).

Well about the sob episodes, it took awhile to subside. Be prepared for mild post natal blue symptoms esp when you're caring for your little one. Just try to think positively as much as you can and get lots of rest :) Well, even now when my little one is 7 months old I still feel blue at times when my hubby goes out for his usual cycling routine on Sunday morning and I have to stay home (by default) to care for my girl.

For infantcare, do note that there are differences in the fees between full and half day. For my girl's ifc, the cost of half day is like 75% of full day (not worth it) and I'm not sure if the government subsidy quantum is the same. Do start your research early on infantcare and put your name on waiting list. Putting her in infantcare early had been the best decision I made for myself during maternity, otherwise I probably had not found my sanity yet.

On breastfeeding, yes am still breastfeeding her. I noticed a slight dip in my supply as I reduced the number of pumps per day (2 at home and 1 at work). However, my girl has been supplemented with formula since day 1. I intend to bf her till she's 1 year old. If you had not bought a breastpump, maybe can do some online research and get 1 early so that you can try using it in the hospital under the lactation nurse's guidance :)
 
Heys good morning @MyBossBump, on what I shared about MOM... I went through it myself (unfortunately). When I contacted MOM, they advised me to escalate the matter to the highest man in the firm and see if what could be done and added that I should not submit resignation letter no matter what happens. MOM would only be able to act if there's black and white termination letter from the employer. Anyway, I had sinced moved on to a new job (thank God for that).

Well about the sob episodes, it took awhile to subside. Be prepared for mild post natal blue symptoms esp when you're caring for your little one. Just try to think positively as much as you can and get lots of rest :) Well, even now when my little one is 7 months old I still feel blue at times when my hubby goes out for his usual cycling routine on Sunday morning and I have to stay home (by default) to care for my girl.

For infantcare, do note that there are differences in the fees between full and half day. For my girl's ifc, the cost of half day is like 75% of full day (not worth it) and I'm not sure if the government subsidy quantum is the same. Do start your research early on infantcare and put your name on waiting list. Putting her in infantcare early had been the best decision I made for myself during maternity, otherwise I probably had not found my sanity yet.

On breastfeeding, yes am still breastfeeding her. I noticed a slight dip in my supply as I reduced the number of pumps per day (2 at home and 1 at work). However, my girl has been supplemented with formula since day 1. I intend to bf her till she's 1 year old. If you had not bought a breastpump, maybe can do some online research and get 1 early so that you can try using it in the hospital under the lactation nurse's guidance :)

wow fast reply from you @mawby84 :) morning! sad to hear that u've faced such unfair treatment too! but glad that u'd found a better and (hopefully) greener patch to jump to. sadly, the highest man in my then coy = the person that asked me to 'tender'. lol. i have learnt about 'staying firm' and not accepting these unfair treatment again.
i really really really hope that i will not have any post natal blues... totally cannot imagine it. hopefully caring for the little one can chase the blues instead of 'inviting' them over.

infantcare wise, i cannot put my name on waiting list before bb is out. looking at myfirstskool currently, and their policy changed... we can no longer be on waiting list if bb is not out yet. :'( u mentioned that u put your girl in infantcare when she's 3mths old. u returned back to work straight? it's tough to be a working mum, AND a BF mum too! and yup! I've gotten a pass down pump from a friend to try out as she'd given it up when she returned to work...
 
wow fast reply from you @mawby84 :) morning! sad to hear that u've faced such unfair treatment too! but glad that u'd found a better and (hopefully) greener patch to jump to. sadly, the highest man in my then coy = the person that asked me to 'tender'. lol. i have learnt about 'staying firm' and not accepting these unfair treatment again.
i really really really hope that i will not have any post natal blues... totally cannot imagine it. hopefully caring for the little one can chase the blues instead of 'inviting' them over.

infantcare wise, i cannot put my name on waiting list before bb is out. looking at myfirstskool currently, and their policy changed... we can no longer be on waiting list if bb is not out yet. :'( u mentioned that u put your girl in infantcare when she's 3mths old. u returned back to work straight? it's tough to be a working mum, AND a BF mum too! and yup! I've gotten a pass down pump from a friend to try out as she'd given it up when she returned to work...

Heys @MyBossBump, ooo i happen to log on to SMH when you replied. It's good that you've left the company :)

Hhmm on the contrary for me, my blues started when I had to take care of my girl. I guess it has to do with the lack of sleep at night and we tend to multi task in the day like doing simple house chores, cooking and so on. But it gets better when your baby start sleeping longer hours in the night.

For infantcare, different schools have different policies, you may want to consider expanding your options. Yes, I put her in infantcare the moment she turned 3 months old as I was on the lookout for a new job right after maternity leave. Needed the time to go for interviews and so on. If you intend to breastfeed after returning to work, I can share some info with you on passing the FBM to infantcare :)
 
Heys @MyBossBump, ooo i happen to log on to SMH when you replied. It's good that you've left the company :)

Hhmm on the contrary for me, my blues started when I had to take care of my girl. I guess it has to do with the lack of sleep at night and we tend to multi task in the day like doing simple house chores, cooking and so on. But it gets better when your baby start sleeping longer hours in the night.

For infantcare, different schools have different policies, you may want to consider expanding your options. Yes, I put her in infantcare the moment she turned 3 months old as I was on the lookout for a new job right after maternity leave. Needed the time to go for interviews and so on. If you intend to breastfeed after returning to work, I can share some info with you on passing the FBM to infantcare :)

@mawby84 yo~ Took a while to reply! i a m no longer a working mum2be (AGAIN!!!) my collg just shared with me that my ex boss trying to siam the ML. took me a while to accept my 'fate' so didnt really log online. now i am back, and motivated once again since i cannot let my 'suayness' beat me. hahaa... i guess the plus side of getting terminated = more rest. and more time to research on whats best for bb when he's out. :p
 
@mawby84 yo~ Took a while to reply! i a m no longer a working mum2be (AGAIN!!!) my collg just shared with me that my ex boss trying to siam the ML. took me a while to accept my 'fate' so didnt really log online. now i am back, and motivated once again since i cannot let my 'suayness' beat me. hahaa... i guess the plus side of getting terminated = more rest. and more time to research on whats best for bb when he's out. :p


Similarly.. took awhile for me to get back to this thread.. been busy with new job :) Ohh i'm so sorry to hear about your job. Stay focus on your baby :) Yes, the more research you do now will prep you better! Smooth delivery to you mummy!
 
Hi MyBossBump,

Mayb it's really a great timing where u wld b able 2 rest and prep for the bundle of joy.

But do find someone 2 talk 2 whenever u think u r feeling down or someone 2 listen 2.

Mayb have a HTHT wif your DH, dont brood things for too long, especially things that u know will affect your relationship wif you DH. It's gd 2 have an open relation.

Mothers, be it FTWM or SAHM, all have their own stress n expectations. We just need 2 learn 2 manage those stress n expectations. As wif our wk, wat we expect of our staff, we need 2 communicate 2 them. As we expect our boss 2 tell us their expectations of us.
 


thankful for this thread.
i am a ftwm and i am stressed with baby in ifc too.
comtemplating about job switch cuz my current job is far away from home.
have an offer but new employer stress that i can manage to leave on the dot if i plan my time well.
 

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