Are you stress as working mum?

maybb

Member
Everytime ppl ask me, "why u dont wan have another baby to accompany ur daughter"

I dunno how to tell them. I feel stress at tim
I am the one need to fetch her to sch and back home. My hubby working hour is 7am to 7pm.
In order to fetch her from sch before 7pm, I request to end work at 5:30pm but I need to start work at 7:50am.

So morning, I always rush like crazy. Imagine get a child to wake up by 6:30am in order to go out by 6:50am-6:55am. I need to take bus to work place by latest is 7:20am. My workplace at Gul Circle have direct bus but the traffic is sometime to slow to move.

At night, teach her spelling or revise with her on the words. By the time she slp ard 11pm. And by the time I slp is about 12am or later. I always cant slp early as i will wake up middle of the night and cant get back to slp till morning.

I feel so stress that most of the time I will cry.

Any mum can advise what should I do?
 


I hate it when people tell me to have another baby when they don't understand a thing at all.

I dunno if this can be considered as an advice but take some time to think about what you want for your child. If finances permits, maybe part time or stay at home? As mummies, I believe you will put your child before yourself.

Lastly, Jia you!! Don't be sad and stress, your child can sense it.
 
I am still on ML , so I cannot really comment on coping as a FTWM.

But, it's really !#$ when people ask me to have more kids when I still was doing my confinement? Like WTH?

Best is my hb's uncle who said that I'd get better with handling kids as I have more babies. Like erm... Why do I need to get better at changing a baby / bathing a baby??

I am not planning for one in the near future if I do decide to have another one. While it's true that having another baby MAY let my #1 have a playmate, who is to say that they will be good friends? And how does it benefit me? The liability is a huge lifelong liability but I can't see the benefits accruing to me.
 
Don't worry about others. A mother will know best what is good for her own child, you're doing good I feel!

I'm a working mom too and I'd say it's not easy but at the end of the day I know what I'm doing is the best for my family. My family needs my extra income too. And I try to always spend as much time as I can with my daughter whenever.

Don't worry too much and all the best! :)
 
maybb, like what another mummy has suggested, why not make some changes by doing part time or taking a hiatus from work? Too much stress (unable to sleep in the middle of the night is a strong sign of stress) in the long run is no good for both yourself and your family members. It's unavoidable that certain things would have to be sacrificed e.g. lower family income, lower standard of living, but if it can make the whole family feel happier e.g. you can spend more time with your child, your husband can concentrate better at work while you manage the household, it's all worthwhile.

Just curious. . Does all ur hubby help out in term of housework and children too??

Yup, my hubby and I split all work 50:50 at home, including taking care of the child (range from bathing, playing, practicing the piano, teaching, doing homework with and reading bedtime stories to the child. Both of us have similar working hours (he sometimes work later than I do), so I guess I'm quite lucky.
 
Hubby will have to help out in some ways he can, cannot be mummy taking up all responsibilities, however this had to be properly voiced out if you think that the stress in you is building up.
Parenthood is a journey and have to be walked together.
 
Just curious. . Does all ur hubby help out in term of housework and children too??
Hi Kimloh, we share the burden of teaching her and guide her in school work. As such like he teach her chinese whereas I teach English and math or rather said guide her.

Housework mostly is I do during the weekend. Initial stage he will complain dirty why didnt do hse keping but aft I fall sick for a week he the one take care of everything. He then know is not easy. So now even mil complain why we din do hse keeping, he will side me.
 
Hubby will have to help out in some ways he can, cannot be mummy taking up all responsibilities, however this had to be properly voiced out if you think that the stress in you is building up.
Parenthood is a journey and have to be walked together.
agreed. maybe daddy can do the coaching on some days ?
 
I hate ppl ask me to give birth to more kid. But I dun think I can handle so many kid if I continue working.

I once told my hubby, if we have a 2nd baby. I will quit my job and stay at home to look after the kid. MIL heard it immediately said no need, she can help if not we can get a maid.

i was thinking is a maid better than a mum????? Both of us disagree to get a maid.
 
For the current situation - does having part time cleaning aunties help? At least you get to have a couple of hours with your child/or some me time.

I have 2 kids going on to my 3rd.

Having more kids or 1 doesn't really matter - it's a personal preference. Don't bother about what others say.
 
Maybb, im glad to hear that your hubby tried to help as and when he can :)
i know it is tough on the logistic as i have moved house because of that.

Your child will be in primary school next year, will the distance/logistic improved?

Regarding ppl asking you to have another one, i think thiis is entirely up to you and your hubby's preference, doesnt matter what ppl say..
 
You can consider to oursource your housework to a part-time cleaner and try to have a little of "Me" time during weekend.

You can choose to go for your favourite sport or just sit down with hubby in a cafe having cheese cake.
What is the point of working so hard and yet could not sit down and enjoy for some moment.:)
 
We also think of some "our" time but my daughter is a super glue to daddy.... So whenever have time to relax she will be there.

So far, the school is not a issue. Is just that want to plan early just in case have 2nd one.

We always arrange a short getaway to relax ourself. If my sister-in-law know, she will say I waste money keep going for holiday.

Lucky, my hubby dun really side them. In facts, he enjoy going short trip with me or us....
 
Will ur MIL or SIL said ur kid STUpid in front of you? My MIL and SIL always said that, and me have to protect the young heart as I am scare she feel sad. And they (MIL & SIL) always like to compare my kid with her kid. She of cos have all time to teach the kid whereas my hubby and me only have evening time or weekend to teach her.

I try not to pressure my ger too much as she in childcare for the whole 12hrs (7am-7pm) and go home still need to study. I fear she will hate study next time. Before CNY, she keep drew a ger with crying or sad face no color all black. Ask her to color some to her drawing she reply no need. Told my hubby about and he feel the same as me she maybe feel sad. At that time my MIL keep saying why she so stupid, dunno how to read words and blah blah blah....

I ask my hubby talk to his mum dun keep saying those hurting word to a young child lik dat. But no point still same.

I really dislik going either MIL or SIL hse for occasion. Always find excuse. Sometime hubby will reject for me and said we going out or no time.
 
Maybb, it is so blessed that both you and your hubby have the same thoughts *thumb up!*
For me, “stupid” is a forbidden word, if I were you, I will try to avoid occasions going out with them too.

Short holiday is a very good way to dis-tress too, or maybe both of you can took half day/a day leave (while kid is in childcare) for a couple massage, just some suggestion 
how do you normally settle your dinner in weekdays?
 
I hate ppl ask me to give birth to more kid. But I dun think I can handle so many kid if I continue working.

I once told my hubby, if we have a 2nd baby. I will quit my job and stay at home to look after the kid. MIL heard it immediately said no need, she can help if not we can get a maid.

i was thinking is a maid better than a mum????? Both of us disagree to get a maid.
Worse if ppl ask u abt #2 when #1 is barely 1 mth / < 1 mth..??
Pls my body hasnt really recovered yet !
 
Will ur MIL or SIL said ur kid STUpid in front of you? My MIL and SIL always said that, and me have to protect the young heart as I am scare she feel sad. And they (MIL & SIL) always like to compare my kid with her kid. She of cos have all time to teach the kid whereas my hubby and me only have evening time or weekend to teach her.

I try not to pressure my ger too much as she in childcare for the whole 12hrs (7am-7pm) and go home still need to study. I fear she will hate study next time. Before CNY, she keep drew a ger with crying or sad face no color all black. Ask her to color some to her drawing she reply no need. Told my hubby about and he feel the same as me she maybe feel sad. At that time my MIL keep saying why she so stupid, dunno how to read words and blah blah blah....

I ask my hubby talk to his mum dun keep saying those hurting word to a young child lik dat. But no point still same.

I really dislik going either MIL or SIL hse for occasion. Always find excuse. Sometime hubby will reject for me and said we going out or no time.
Well for ur MIL saying her grandchild is stupid...Don't forget that 50% of her son's genes are in LO, and her son has 50% of her genes? On the bright side, U can just laugh at the stupidity of ur MIL. And ur SIL..I believe in 留口德。what goes around comes around.
 
Maybb, it is so blessed that both you and your hubby have the same thoughts *thumb up!*
For me, “stupid” is a forbidden word, if I were you, I will try to avoid occasions going out with them too.

Short holiday is a very good way to dis-tress too, or maybe both of you can took half day/a day leave (while kid is in childcare) for a couple massage, just some suggestion 
how do you normally settle your dinner in weekdays?

Dinner mostly settle outside unless my ger request eat dinner at home. I will prepare ingredient 1 day ahead and set timer for rice cooker.
If my hubby no need to work extra OT aft 7pm, he will inform and he will cook for us. While wait for dinner to cook and serve, I will quickly stick the floor. Why use word "stick" becos I get those roller to roll the floor and all hairs and dust will stick on the adhesive roller. Just need to tear and throw away and roll again on the floor. May sound lazy way of sweeping floor, but i find this way is the easier and efficiency.
 
Well for ur MIL saying her grandchild is stupid...Don't forget that 50% of her son's genes are in LO, and her son has 50% of her genes? On the bright side, U can just laugh at the stupidity of ur MIL. And ur SIL..I believe in 留口德。what goes around comes around.

I dun like they said the word STUPID in front of my ger, it feel so hurtful. I always tried to find excuses to avoid goin out with them. Especially sis in law's elder child, anyhow beat ppl and always like to beat my ger. Sis-in law and her hubby just tell the son cannot beat ppl de. To me i feel that 1st time is ok still young if he/she continue the bad habit the cane cant be spare. They feel pain to beat the son. I complain to my hubby many time but he din saw it so he cant said anything. Only there was one 1 time before Xmas, his nephew pull my ger hair while playing and kick her and he saw it. Hubby was so angry and scold the nephew and also scold his sis. And some more sis in law still said her son was just playing only. My ger face also a long scratches from eye to nose.... The daddy heart pain, so now whenever they play together hubby will be at her side as body guard. I feel tired and stress telling her that her kid need some disciplinary action but she just dun care and leave it to the maid.

Really dunno how to tell them.... Whenever my hubby told me celebrate bday in law dinner outside, I feel the stress immediately and will be gone after the dinner.... I try to relax and told myself is once awhile only but somehow I cant feel relax.
 
Hi maybb, salute to you. I feel that your gal is still young and do not "force" her to study a lot since she is still 6 yo. during my gal at kinder, she is not able to read yet and i was v worried however time will proof everything. Once the kid entered primary school, they will learn v fast. you will be amazed.
Try to let her get enough sleep. for young kid, sleeping at 11pm and wakes up at 6.30 is not enough. at least they need 8-9 hours sleep. esp she is still at child care which do not have homework etc, unlike primary school
my gal is at p2 now. i am taking care of her alone. and she must be on the bed by 830 latest at 9 pm.
take care.
 
Ur thread title get me thinking.....
Actually i feel REAL lucky, having my mum taking care of my 2kids, coming 3rd one soon, plus my bro's 3 kids, all below 6yr old. Noisy, cranky, every kid different temper, different learning curves, competitive...but seeing them grow up is a joy. Honestly, i cant take care of my 2 kids ALONE, let alone do hsehold chores, cook, send / fetch them from school, or even coach sch work . I honestly SALUTE you mummies!!!! One day 24hrs, yet u all can do amazing things....
No matter how much money its nv enuff for bringing up the kids, its too competitive to have extra classes,lessons and hobbies. Let alone have MORE kids, seriously who is going to pay for the high cost, education.... Sigh.
My hubby cant do hsework, so he only help simple chore n its sufficient for me. Although now most men can cook n cope alone with kids, i know it aint easy for them too, but at least some daddies will try...

Dont bother about comments, thou some is jus 'passing comments', cos even if u have 10kids, ppl will still ask y dun give birth somemore? Lol... Thats jus life, or maybe striking a conversation bah. Most important is having the kids growing up healthy, HAPPY, n having a great childhood :) once again, Salute all of u mummies!
 
I dun like they said the word STUPID in front of my ger, it feel so hurtful. I always tried to find excuses to avoid goin out with them. Especially sis in law's elder child, anyhow beat ppl and always like to beat my ger. Sis-in law and her hubby just tell the son cannot beat ppl de. To me i feel that 1st time is ok still young if he/she continue the bad habit the cane cant be spare. They feel pain to beat the son. I complain to my hubby many time but he din saw it so he cant said anything. Only there was one 1 time before Xmas, his nephew pull my ger hair while playing and kick her and he saw it. Hubby was so angry and scold the nephew and also scold his sis. And some more sis in law still said her son was just playing only. My ger face also a long scratches from eye to nose.... The daddy heart pain, so now whenever they play together hubby will be at her side as body guard. I feel tired and stress telling her that her kid need some disciplinary action but she just dun care and leave it to the maid.

Really dunno how to tell them.... Whenever my hubby told me celebrate bday in law dinner outside, I feel the stress immediately and will be gone after the dinner.... I try to relax and told myself is once awhile only but somehow I cant feel relax.
It's really so bad to call anyone stupid. Have u taught ur girl how to defend herself? She doesnt need to hit the boy back. Prolly can try to teach her to scream rly loudly and shout "stop it" to scare him. If that doesnt work , give her the approvalto retaliate after she gives the boy repeated warnings.

IMHO it is not enuff tt ur hb be her bodyguard. More importantly she has to learn to stand up for herself. Daddy may not be arnd all the time.
 
gammahedging, since young we taught her cannot beat back. She is a kid care for everyone, especially to younger one maybe in childcare the teacher taught her that way.

She at time very angry, will tell him stop if not beat the hand as warning (not hard type just action).

Kokoon, I always let her watch tv awhile at night before head to bed as her relax time. I only let her revised spelling word. I believe in Everyone have a TIME to open up and learn fast. Me myself, P4 then can study and read due to a good teacher guide and help.
 
Hi maybb... I am a FTWM of 3 and forever juggling work, kids, and maids. It is tough. I am sure the daily traveling and marathon takes a toll on you physically and mentally. You did not say where you live, but Gul Circle is so far away from the rest of the world! I know because I work in Tuas!!

Anyway, back to you. It will continue to be tough and draining doing the daily commute. It is also tiring for your girl. Little children needs to sleep more in order for their brain to rest and grow, and be ready to learn new things in the day. Perhaps you might want to reevaluate your situation? Ask yourself, what are the things that you can change, and what are the things that you can't. Would you contemplate changing job (for similar or even slightly lower pay), if that translates to better quality of life for yourself and your child? Also, sometimes we missed the bigger picture. We are so busy with day-to-day lives that we do not take a back seat to visualize what is it we want to see, where we want to be, say, 5 years from now? 10 years from now? This is important. Because, at some point, all the day-to-day stress and "torture" that we endure should translate to the results that we want. So, what is the result that we want? If you have 15 waking hours a day, how would you choose to spend it?

It could be in many forms - a stage in your career? Number of children that you want? Quality of life with family and kids? Some things have a clock - children, however wrong their timing sometimes may seem - the most difficult phase does pass, and when this do, all the hardwork wouldn't matter anymore. Nothing wrong with being a single child, but it is definitely a special privilege to have a sibling to grow up with, fight with, and bicker with. It is something worth your special consideration - and either way there is no wrong, so long as you have considered it carefully. Because, one day we will all past our child-bearing years, and we want to tell ourselves, we had considered it and decided.

So, after you take stock and evaluate what is important and what is not, where you want to be in 5 years and 10 years, then you list them down in priority. And then, you should list the top three down, and then you constantly remind yourself - that whatever you are doing now is for the top three. It would be worth it!! And every time you feel tired, when you "forget" what the daily struggles are all about, take out that top three...

That is how I soldier on, how I keep going to work everyday, wake up 3 times a night to feed the baby, deal with three kids in the evenings and every weekend, and in between squeeze out some time for things that I like such as cooking and baking, arts and crafts, etc. Yes, of course, sometimes, I also need to cry it all out - but they are the exception, not the norm!
 
gammahedging, since young we taught her cannot beat back. She is a kid care for everyone, especially to younger one maybe in childcare the teacher taught her that way.

She at time very angry, will tell him stop if not beat the hand as warning (not hard type just action).

Kokoon, I always let her watch tv awhile at night before head to bed as her relax time. I only let her revised spelling word. I believe in Everyone have a TIME to open up and learn fast. Me myself, P4 then can study and read due to a good teacher guide and help.
Not sure of what u think, but as an adult, do you always walk away when you get bullied? Is it always the right thing to do? It is good to care for others but I think it is different from standing up to bullying. As to when to fight back, it's gray, and it's hard to teach but perhaps what is more valuable is the lesson in life. That what is right / wrong isn't always so clear cut.
Not sure of how exactly she feels at being called stupid by her aunt and grandma, and being bullied by her cousin but she is told not to retaliate. Damaging to her self-esteem? Prolly u can talk to her.
 
Not sure of what u think, but as an adult, do you always walk away when you get bullied? Is it always the right thing to do? It is good to care for others but I think it is different from standing up to bullying. As to when to fight back, it's gray, and it's hard to teach but perhaps what is more valuable is the lesson in life. That what is right / wrong isn't always so clear cut.
Not sure of how exactly she feels at being called stupid by her aunt and grandma, and being bullied by her cousin but she is told not to retaliate. Damaging to her self-esteem? Prolly u can talk to her.

I know what u mean. So we actually talk to her how to face when she get bully.
 
frog, I have already change to less stress work but still there are invisible stress.

Whenever I feel very stress and cant sleep, I will bring out my kitchen toy to start baking. I enjoy and like baking, this is how I dis-stress recently. Only when concentrate on baking, my stress seem reduce and feel much better. At least the next day, my ger and hubby can eat as breakfast or bring to work as tea break.

There was time I start invest in baking tool, my MIL start complaining I waste too much money on nonsense equipment and tools. But I dun care still carry buying and bake when I like. Or on friday night, will ask my ger she wan bake cookie and we do it together. I feel that is a kind of bonding also....
 
frog, I have already change to less stress work but still there are invisible stress.

Whenever I feel very stress and cant sleep, I will bring out my kitchen toy to start baking. I enjoy and like baking, this is how I dis-stress recently. Only when concentrate on baking, my stress seem reduce and feel much better. At least the next day, my ger and hubby can eat as breakfast or bring to work as tea break.

There was time I start invest in baking tool, my MIL start complaining I waste too much money on nonsense equipment and tools. But I dun care still carry buying and bake when I like. Or on friday night, will ask my ger she wan bake cookie and we do it together. I feel that is a kind of bonding also....
I think it's really nice to bake together with ur daughter! It is indeed bonding and you can teach her so much, from simple things like reading of the ingredient list to calculations (fractions) and measurement.
 
Will ur MIL or SIL said ur kid STUpid in front of you? My MIL and SIL always said that, and me have to protect the young heart as I am scare she feel sad. And they (MIL & SIL) always like to compare my kid with her kid. She of cos have all time to teach the kid whereas my hubby and me only have evening time or weekend to teach her.

I try not to pressure my ger too much as she in childcare for the whole 12hrs (7am-7pm) and go home still need to study. I fear she will hate study next time. Before CNY, she keep drew a ger with crying or sad face no color all black. Ask her to color some to her drawing she reply no need. Told my hubby about and he feel the same as me she maybe feel sad. At that time my MIL keep saying why she so stupid, dunno how to read words and blah blah blah....

I ask my hubby talk to his mum dun keep saying those hurting word to a young child lik dat. But no point still same.

I really dislik going either MIL or SIL hse for occasion. Always find excuse. Sometime hubby will reject for me and said we going out or no time.

Haha... Just laugh and reply "I think it's your (hubby surname) family's genes" Since after your hubby talked to them and still like that then I think you should make yourself heard. Don't let your child be subjected to such verbal abuse. It will destroy their little heart.
 
Not sure of what u think, but as an adult, do you always walk away when you get bullied? Is it always the right thing to do? It is good to care for others but I think it is different from standing up to bullying. As to when to fight back, it's gray, and it's hard to teach but perhaps what is more valuable is the lesson in life. That what is right / wrong isn't always so clear cut.
Not sure of how exactly she feels at being called stupid by her aunt and grandma, and being bullied by her cousin but she is told not to retaliate. Damaging to her self-esteem? Prolly u can talk to her.

Personally I taught my kid to tell teachers or tell me and hubby if she's being bullied in school. If got friends who always beat or even bite her, I taught her to defend herself by boxing back. Some might say it's not right to teach retaliation but some bullies just won't stop until they are being taught a lesson.
 
Personally I taught my kid to tell teachers or tell me and hubby if she's being bullied in school. If got friends who always beat or even bite her, I taught her to defend herself by boxing back. Some might say it's not right to teach retaliation but some bullies just won't stop until they are being taught a lesson.
my dad also taught me to fight back if need be, and how to fight back.
 
Pinkdoll and gammahedging, same as what my hubby taught daughter. Initial we told her cannot beat back, tell us or school teacher. But aft the nephew beat her so many time and scratch her, my hubby so angry and teach her if didi beat you or kick you, slap him or beat him back. If he bite you, bite him back. My sis in law defend the son, my hubby heart pain the daughter and told the sis off.

Only 1 time I spoke out in front of MIL and every of their relatives, ask her to stop saying my daughter those hurtful word and also told her off that if she is stupid which mean Parent in law, sis in law and everyone in their family tree are stupid.
That time dunno why so angry and fed up, ever since she stop saying stupid in front of me. But i know she still said those word to my ger as my ger told me.

I ask my ger ignore the grandma bad comment.
 
I would say, Just ignore what others say or comment. those old people lived in their century..where they have many kids..but this century, it's different. Sometimes 1 is enough. Daddy n mummy devote their love on Just 1 child. They give the best to this 1 child. 1 Child is abit lonely but it also depends on the parents financial ability. If u can afford, can hv 1 more child. Now govt is implementing more and more flexi work scheme. So time are more flexible. Do check w ur mp, ask them for help or u can even write in to army khor. She might be able to help. She implement a work scheme.. pls check it out. U can search on web ~ Mums at work.. look on the positive side mummy.
 
Pinkdoll and gammahedging, same as what my hubby taught daughter. Initial we told her cannot beat back, tell us or school teacher. But aft the nephew beat her so many time and scratch her, my hubby so angry and teach her if didi beat you or kick you, slap him or beat him back. If he bite you, bite him back. My sis in law defend the son, my hubby heart pain the daughter and told the sis off.

Only 1 time I spoke out in front of MIL and every of their relatives, ask her to stop saying my daughter those hurtful word and also told her off that if she is stupid which mean Parent in law, sis in law and everyone in their family tree are stupid.
That time dunno why so angry and fed up, ever since she stop saying stupid in front of me. But i know she still said those word to my ger as my ger told me.

I ask my ger ignore the grandma bad comment.
i wonder how grand ma will react ifshe told her "youd be sorry ". but ya just walk away and ignore
 
Typically if someone say the word "stupid" to anyone, my kids will say "ahhhh-hoi.... u say bad things to hurt people. I will tell mummy".
Somehow it works for us. Not sure if it works for anyone though. :)
 
hello maybb.. just chanced upon your thread and read wonderful advices given by fellow mummies here :)

I just started FTWM journey 2 months ago and yes honestly had been tough but I count my blessings that the infantcare is 2 blocks away from my home and the teachers there are reliable (based on my gut feel). At least my 5 month plus girl does not whin or cry when I bring her there.

I'm still in the midst of adjusting to the current schedule but feel v tired out. Especially when I have to wake up at 5.30am in order to have sufficient time to pump milk, change and feed baby girl and get ready for work by 7am to bring her to infantcare. After so, I need to tapao breakfast for hubby from hawker centre (i can live without hawker food breakfast) and come home and wait for hubby to get ready and we set off for work together. I'm the one who wakes up for night feeds or any other non-feeds where baby girl just want to play in the middle of the night :( Its to a point where I get migraine attacks the very next day and I feel like a zombie at work.

My hubby is an avid cyclist so on Sunday morning, its by default that I stay home and babysit. Its only when my parents drop by in the afternoon for a few hours where I get a 'break' by heading to the shopping mall or catching a movie. I feel parenthood should be a partnership rather than leaning towards the primary caregiver. You're more fortunate as your hubby will 'zhi dong' chip in to help as and when he can :)

And at the recent CNY gatherings, relatives suggest that I should have No. 2 so that can have playmate and 'PAIN 1 TIME ONLY'. Its like I wish they know what I'm doing through. I fell sick twice since I returned to work and its only during these times where my parents and hubby know what I go through. I appreciate the help provided by my parents but I still feel my hubby should try to help out more if he could.

Sorry fellow mummies.. needed an avenue to rant :)
 
hello maybb.. just chanced upon your thread and read wonderful advices given by fellow mummies here :)

I just started FTWM journey 2 months ago and yes honestly had been tough but I count my blessings that the infantcare is 2 blocks away from my home and the teachers there are reliable (based on my gut feel). At least my 5 month plus girl does not whin or cry when I bring her there.

I'm still in the midst of adjusting to the current schedule but feel v tired out. Especially when I have to wake up at 5.30am in order to have sufficient time to pump milk, change and feed baby girl and get ready for work by 7am to bring her to infantcare. After so, I need to tapao breakfast for hubby from hawker centre (i can live without hawker food breakfast) and come home and wait for hubby to get ready and we set off for work together. I'm the one who wakes up for night feeds or any other non-feeds where baby girl just want to play in the middle of the night :( Its to a point where I get migraine attacks the very next day and I feel like a zombie at work.

My hubby is an avid cyclist so on Sunday morning, its by default that I stay home and babysit. Its only when my parents drop by in the afternoon for a few hours where I get a 'break' by heading to the shopping mall or catching a movie. I feel parenthood should be a partnership rather than leaning towards the primary caregiver. You're more fortunate as your hubby will 'zhi dong' chip in to help as and when he can :)

And at the recent CNY gatherings, relatives suggest that I should have No. 2 so that can have playmate and 'PAIN 1 TIME ONLY'. Its like I wish they know what I'm doing through. I fell sick twice since I returned to work and its only during these times where my parents and hubby know what I go through. I appreciate the help provided by my parents but I still feel my hubby should try to help out more if he could.

Sorry fellow mummies.. needed an avenue to rant :)
nv have a bb cos of "pressure" fr freinds n relatives. n why pain 1 time only?? and yar u know i tink i feel that some ppl think it is better for me to have #2 earlier but well, if i decide for no 2 i prefer a big age gap. worst case is be a geriatric mother lor . no biggie
 
nv have a bb cos of "pressure" fr freinds n relatives. n why pain 1 time only?? and yar u know i tink i feel that some ppl think it is better for me to have #2 earlier but well, if i decide for no 2 i prefer a big age gap. worst case is be a geriatric mother lor . no biggie

yes having a baby is not a race nor a KPI, but i guess its not something everyone appreciates. The reason for 'pain 1 time only' is if I plan for No. 2 now and probably have it by next year, so I go through continuous 2 years of night feeds rather than have a long break in between and find it tough to get back to it.

Its always about i 'feel' and so on, 'feel' is nothing until you put it into action. But that would mean a lifetime of commitment which they are not liable for after all. Maybe I belong to the more risk averse group where I want to be able to provide financially and emotionally to the child then I plan for it. Its the best for the child as well :) So for now, I'll stick to undivided attention to one and only!
 
yes having a baby is not a race nor a KPI, but i guess its not something everyone appreciates. The reason for 'pain 1 time only' is if I plan for No. 2 now and probably have it by next year, so I go through continuous 2 years of night feeds rather than have a long break in between and find it tough to get back to it.

Its always about i 'feel' and so on, 'feel' is nothing until you put it into action. But that would mean a lifetime of commitment which they are not liable for after all. Maybe I belong to the more risk averse group where I want to be able to provide financially and emotionally to the child then I plan for it. Its the best for the child as well :) So for now, I'll stick to undivided attention to one and only!
haha i do night feeding for 6ish weeks i am alrdy so sian. I am kinda yearning for my freedom again
 
I think I feel stress being a working mom.
1) you got to be responsible at work
2) you need to be a responsible mother
3) you need to cope being a daughter and daughter in law.
Being a working mother is indeed a stressful job. Recently I just changed job, can you imagine the added stress that I have to cope with. Because if the nasty weather, I am also falling sick.

People often say I should distress? Sometimes it is easier said than done. I think only mommy in my situation will understand my woes!
 
haha i do night feeding for 6ish weeks i am alrdy so sian. I am kinda yearning for my freedom again

Cheer up mummy! it is easier when you're on maternity leave. About a month before u go back to work, gradually increase the frequency of feeds towards the night i.e. from 6pm onwards and give 15ml-20ml more on the last feed. That can slowly train your child to sleep through the night :)
 
I think I feel stress being a working mom.
1) you got to be responsible at work
2) you need to be a responsible mother
3) you need to cope being a daughter and daughter in law.
Being a working mother is indeed a stressful job. Recently I just changed job, can you imagine the added stress that I have to cope with. Because if the nasty weather, I am also falling sick.

People often say I should distress? Sometimes it is easier said than done. I think only mommy in my situation will understand my woes!

Hello :) It is a steep learning curve the moment you return to work.. and yes with your recent job switch, its even steeper. Just to share, I'm changing job in about 2 weeks time (having returned to current job for 2 months). There is a whole lot of adjustments to be made just for a simple task like reaching work on time esp when we are newbies in the organisation :)

I know its tough but try to tune to work mode only during office hours and mummy mode when you're home. Otherwise, you'll be drained out very soon trying to juggle both roles 24/7. Are you staying with your in laws? If yes, it helps alot in terms of baby sitting :) For myself, am pretty much on my own with hubby with no confinement lady, no maid and no nanny. I put my girl in the infantcare from Mon to Sat and my precious Sat morning is used for marketing, cooking and house chores :)

Just remember that you're not alone. There's many of us who had been through and are still going through the same phase with you :) Let's keep each other motivated! *hugs*
 
Cheer up mummy! it is easier when you're on maternity leave. About a month before u go back to work, gradually increase the frequency of feeds towards the night i.e. from 6pm onwards and give 15ml-20ml more on the last feed. That can slowly train your child to sleep through the night :)
ppl tell me my lo is quite good cos she wakes zzz at abt 9 plus 10, feed 1x at 3 sth am , sleeps and then wakes up again at abt 6 ish 7 am to feed. mmm
 
ppl tell me my lo is quite good cos she wakes zzz at abt 9 plus 10, feed 1x at 3 sth am , sleeps and then wakes up again at abt 6 ish 7 am to feed. mmm

yeah its good! however, when you return to work, its good to have long stretch of sleep. maybe you could try to increase the feeding portion then may not need the 3am feed :)
 


yeah its good! however, when you return to work, its good to have long stretch of sleep. maybe you could try to increase the feeding portion then may not need the 3am feed :)
yar this is what I am planning to do. feed more in the evening , on top of the small dream feed I usually give at abt 9 ish 10. then can do the next feed at 6am
 

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