Hi, I'm not a new member here.. used to be around this forum when i'm still a new mother a few years ago. however, i back here again after googling for anxiety support group in singapore and chanced upon this and i'm so glad to see that the latest reply was yesterday. i really hope we can get together and support each other through this journey.
aside to Mar Oh Mar, its good that KTP provide the hotline and allow you to speak to a someone when in need. how i hope i can have such help available too

btw, how is the psychotherapy sessions doing for you? i'm waiting for SGH to schedule mine..
anyway,here is my story...
i was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety disorder after a cancer diagnosis from my husband 5 years ago. i'm thankful that he is recovering well now but frankly speaking, i'm still living in fear every single day. i didn't know what i had was anxiety and all i felt was heart pounding, dizzy, loss of appetite.. back then, i was at my lowest weight of 45kg. i seek the help of 2 private psychiatrist who insisted to put me on anti-depressants. i was determined not to and i tried other ways such as exercise, multi-vitamins, vitamin B, iron table and also seeing a counsellor from a nearby family centre. i'm staying at jurong back then.
i was recovering well (at least still functional and not as irritable) and self managed my symptoms. but throughout this 5 years, i have been carrying tons of medicines in my bag (scared of dying and heart attack), avoiding dangerous activities such as roller coaster, theme park.. overthinking the health and safety of my loved one. basically, my anxiety focus was shifted from myself (thinking i have cancers and other horrible illness) to my loved ones.
last year July, my father in law was diagnosed with cancer. i thought i was ok and handling well with the diagnosis. never did i know anxiety was slowly creeping back on me..and by this year January, i broke down. i cried everyday, shivered, heart pounding, can't eat well, can't focus well, lose weight (back to 47kg now). the fact that i can't eat well and losing well also makes me think that i have some horrible illness as well. i went to A&E everyweek to have my heart checked, x-ray done and blood test done. every week. i visited TCM, Chiropractic, numerous GP, internal medicine specialist, gynea.. the thing about my anxiety was, when 1 symptom subside, another symptom came up and convinced me i'm super sick with cancer. this time round, i have a new symptom which i never experienced before and it was head numbness, sort of like tingling and warming sensation on one side of my skull / scalp. does anyone experience this or knew what supplement deficiency it could be due to? sometimes, it went down to my arm. i thought i'm having a stroke. went to the GP in tears only to found out it was anxiety.. i broke down again.. feeling very hopeless on when can i get out of this vicious cycle.
February was good because it is CNY.. with the joyful occasion and friends and family around me.. i eat well, feel happier and no symptoms. Now its March, and for the last 2 weeks, the head numbness is back and it is scaring the hell out of me. i am suffering in silence everyday, i felt so guilty towards my husband and 2 children. i was referred to SGH pcyhiatrist department and attended the appointment yesterday.. as usual... it is all about medication medication medication. i am not saying medication is not good, i have tried lexotan (to stop pounding heart), xanax and fluxil (anti-depressant) back in Jan because i was so desperate and in a complete mess so i was keen to recovered and wanted to give med a go. but the antidepressant left me zombie-fied. yes, i do not feel any fear anymore. but i also do not feel any happiness, sadness, excitement, love.. nothing. i can't feel my beloved husband and children. i am also feeling more dizzy as usual that i am unable to ferry my kids to enrichment classes. i stop the med because of this.
i hope i can find someone in the same situation and we can encourage each other and eventually, walk out of this together. I'm also open to TCM treatment if anyone have good recommendation.