! Anyone feel uneasy being intimate with hubby?
- Thread starter wonderhow
- Start date
extremepower
New Member
Male hormones. What else?
helpneeded,
this is because something he did irritates you, the way he treated you...... and in long term it accumulates then became hates...mine is lack of emotional love...so far he is amending. so if really needs can arrange for marriage counseling. quite cheap. i session $30 for my case.
this is because something he did irritates you, the way he treated you...... and in long term it accumulates then became hates...mine is lack of emotional love...so far he is amending. so if really needs can arrange for marriage counseling. quite cheap. i session $30 for my case.
helpneeded,
I believe the key to this is communication? Try finding a suitable time when both are in a relaxed, non-stressful time (e.g. while out dining) to discuss about this.
Let him know you are feeling uncomfortable with his 'direct' approach and what you would prefer, like engaging more on foreplay or petting etc and not going straight to the act itself.
All the best!
I believe the key to this is communication? Try finding a suitable time when both are in a relaxed, non-stressful time (e.g. while out dining) to discuss about this.
Let him know you are feeling uncomfortable with his 'direct' approach and what you would prefer, like engaging more on foreplay or petting etc and not going straight to the act itself.
All the best!
actually i have asked for a divorce. then he knows is really serious this time.we discussed ...bla bla then i said maybe i should seek for counselling.. the first time i alone coz he is not free. second time , both... we separated for a month at home..suppose to attend the last time but i cancelled coz have no heart to hurt the kids. so we patched up then see how till they are older..
care corner counselling centre - 63531180 .must book app first.
care corner counselling centre - 63531180 .must book app first.
thanks mummm
i tried to talk to him, just normal talk about work and stuff. he does not seem interested. so i left it as such.
when he try to initiate intimacy again. i tried to talk, he did not want to listen. sigh. then decided to just give up on doing what he had started out to. makes me feel terrible. cause it just seems like he is only interested in my body. so sad.
i think it would be tough for me to get him to agree to marriage counseling.
i tried to talk to him, just normal talk about work and stuff. he does not seem interested. so i left it as such.
when he try to initiate intimacy again. i tried to talk, he did not want to listen. sigh. then decided to just give up on doing what he had started out to. makes me feel terrible. cause it just seems like he is only interested in my body. so sad.
i think it would be tough for me to get him to agree to marriage counseling.
haih ur situation is more or less like me.
email me la [email protected]. maybe we can try to figure out ....
email me la [email protected]. maybe we can try to figure out ....
TS,
u are 39?
The dynamics of a relationship at late 30s is a different monster from that of late 20s, or mid 30s.
What used to work will not work now.
I am 40/male and also face similar issues. Sadly, I have been trying to figure things out for the past 1 yr, but I have yet to find an amicable solution.
I may have the same mentality as yr hubby, and I can roughly understand how he thinks.
Anyway, feel free to PM me if u keen to understand more.
u are 39?
The dynamics of a relationship at late 30s is a different monster from that of late 20s, or mid 30s.
What used to work will not work now.
I am 40/male and also face similar issues. Sadly, I have been trying to figure things out for the past 1 yr, but I have yet to find an amicable solution.
I may have the same mentality as yr hubby, and I can roughly understand how he thinks.
Anyway, feel free to PM me if u keen to understand more.
hi mummm and triple70
thanks for your responses.
triple70,
yes, im 39
it is good to hear from the opposite sex. what is it that you guys are upto? although i have supposedly known my husband for a long time, it seems now that i dunno him. perhaps you can enlighten? why do guys shy away from communications, or more serious discussions?
maybe you are right. things do change when we grow old. actually, to me what women really want is simple. we just want to be cared for, appreciated and understood. guess it translates to being able to communicate, being able to share what is happening in ones life.
although it is that simple, it seems not so simple or very difficult in my case.
thanks for your responses.
triple70,
yes, im 39
it is good to hear from the opposite sex. what is it that you guys are upto? although i have supposedly known my husband for a long time, it seems now that i dunno him. perhaps you can enlighten? why do guys shy away from communications, or more serious discussions?
maybe you are right. things do change when we grow old. actually, to me what women really want is simple. we just want to be cared for, appreciated and understood. guess it translates to being able to communicate, being able to share what is happening in ones life.
although it is that simple, it seems not so simple or very difficult in my case.
spongebobpatrick
New Member
i had that problem too, think is because of hormones. My cousin recommend me to take 2 type of supplement, said it will help to improve. I feel better aft that but most importanly have to relax thru'out the process.
spongebobpatrick
New Member
Hi Tan Lim Sim,
I can not remember the brand name.
Need to go home and check, maybe you can send me PM then I'll reply to your PM
I can not remember the brand name.
Need to go home and check, maybe you can send me PM then I'll reply to your PM
starrycarin
New Member
Hello, I'm new here and I really agree to spongebob. We need to give our body some great nutrition to keep them healthy and young! I understand this problem as we are always busy, get tired easily and naturally we lost our interest as we usually keep such matters to the end of the day. Basic supplements will definitely help and recently I also know of this supplement called ageLOC vitality. it help to reset, reverse our genes' activities to youth! Technology has advanced so much that this is possible especially we have science to measure them. I've tried with my family and friends and they have very positive results. I hope ladies here can benefit frm it as there is usually not much help for ladies in the form of supplements, but a lot for guys. And the fact that this supplement affects our mitochondria, thus affect 3 things, our energy level, mental alertness and sexual fnc. Hope this helps, you can chk it out in youtube or google on ageLOC vitality, This is the FUTURE! I have ready stocks, as I've ordered since october last year and this supplier has been trusted for many years.
Can someone advise why man must do it every week? As wife , we work equally hard & really need rest. The more he " do it" , the more I hate him touching me! We have been married for 16yrs. I banned him for having sex during weekdays and now it's getting longer, sometime not touching each other for more than 1mth. I know it's not healthy but I rather keep it this way as it's really tired of pretending to "enjoy" for 3-5mins. Strange thing is I'm having dreams about it but just don't feel like doing. Am I alright?
javiers_mummy
New Member
Same .. Agreed with all of u.. Except that my Hubby is only 24 and both of us doesn't have much to talk too... I look to having his attention , his care n love.. But he simply ignores me and whenever I try to talk to him, he say I naggy... Until now, I seldom wan to talk to him. Whenever he watch tv, he say he jus wan to relax n watch his tv. Whenever not watching tv, he played iPhone games for hrs!!! Otherwise sleeping. He can slp for one whole day eg. 4am till 12 midnight next day!!! And off to work again... We r newly weds and I'm now 9 Mths preggy. He also dun care when I complain discomfort in stomach. Sianz... I completely heart dead already... Sometimes considering getting divorce as I feel this is not the type of man I wan to spend for d rest of my life... We r married less than a yr and now already marriage rocky.. Can't imagine the future. But, the thing is he is jus like wad u guys mention. He will initiate sex once two three days n I give in... Even though I feel cold towards him most of the time .. Cos abit discomfort with my big stomach now... But, that's the only time I feel his warmth... He will kiss me n hug me and sayang and kiss my stomach every time after it... But, slp after tAt again... I tried telling him , but he complain it's his job making Him so tired... It's 12 hrs shift
fashiongaga
Member
After reading I kind of find it scary that alot of married couples
Are facing problems . I think the best is talk it out. Communication is very important do not wait till it is too late. Need to find that spark again in the marriage. If not men can go astray .
Are facing problems . I think the best is talk it out. Communication is very important do not wait till it is too late. Need to find that spark again in the marriage. If not men can go astray .
fashiongaga
Member
Women also I heard so many cases of married women trying to seduce other married men what kind of world is it??
Yes, everyone of us here knows communication is the key factor. But it's not easy to say words from our heart...cos before u say it out, he already can't wait, face start showing color with body actions etc. All these factors discourage wife to talk most of the time as it will end up with arguement instead of communicating. To men women are nagging when we talk about problems.
Now my hubby likes to say " what u want!?"
So, how to talk??
Now my hubby likes to say " what u want!?"
So, how to talk??
javiers_mummy
New Member
Jus last night , we have a fight n disputed over Hubby WANs to go clubbing celebrate his Fren promotion... But, thou he dun do it often ... He can't see the point I'm due anytime n needs him by my side always... He thinks I'm controling him n we had a little struggle... Now, my pelvis n butt area aches badly... Dunno why...
ruthlim123
New Member
I have such problems too. My hubby says it is because i am too busy and tired. All my energy has been geared towards the things needed to be done and no energy is left for him.
I reflected and felt that it is quite true. When days i do not need to worry about work and kids, i feel more relax and we too can really enjoy.
I am seriously thinking about doing part-time job. Partly for my children and for my hubby, also for myself too. I really need a break.
I reflected and felt that it is quite true. When days i do not need to worry about work and kids, i feel more relax and we too can really enjoy.
I am seriously thinking about doing part-time job. Partly for my children and for my hubby, also for myself too. I really need a break.
princessmw
New Member
I have such prob too. My hubby usually goes for a few drinks after work till 8pm or else is 11pm.
By then he came home his children is already asleep. The next morn he goes to work at 6.30am. Whenever calling him to come back early he say I am controlling him and so nagging. He don see the point is that the children is looking for his father. I even told my kids to call him themselves but he just told the children coming back soon and thats all. I am just like a single mother. He also don see the point that I am tight up with the children, housework and marketing. He always think that life is easy for me as SAHM. When he ask to have sex I always avoid coz he is always not around. Just like need sex then come to me. So sad.
By then he came home his children is already asleep. The next morn he goes to work at 6.30am. Whenever calling him to come back early he say I am controlling him and so nagging. He don see the point is that the children is looking for his father. I even told my kids to call him themselves but he just told the children coming back soon and thats all. I am just like a single mother. He also don see the point that I am tight up with the children, housework and marketing. He always think that life is easy for me as SAHM. When he ask to have sex I always avoid coz he is always not around. Just like need sex then come to me. So sad.
Ladies here, if u are not firm w your hubby, then live with it for the rest of your life! If your hubby truly loves you and baby, he will change. Not forgetting there is still a large group of men here who are " stereo type" n thinks that wives are subordinates to them, must listen to them, do housework, look after children, serve husband etc etc. If you allow this to happen, then u deserve it. I came from " traditional" family but was brought up e modern way. My hubby's patents are " modern n educated" but brought up e " traditional" way. I changed him to be " equal " before our marriage. Now he does housework, cooks etc. Once his boss ( Nan Chiau principal) told him to divorce me, n my hubby told him off!
This is common ladies.. when we are not in the mood or when we are still unhappy about certain things.. and they come touching us, wanting SEX, we get turn off or kind of go through the process without enjoying it. If it gets often, you will not enjoy SEX anymore. I went through similar stage before..
Its very hard, but I took up the courage and told my partner about how I felt and what I think we can work on.. Like having the weekend off, a get-away holiday. Luckily, my partner is understanding enough and we share both of our thoughts about this. He appreciate me telling him all these, so he can understand our bedroom affairs better.
Now, he will ask me how I feel about our bedroom affairs on and off.. and we plan more short holidays to batam or some affordable boutique hotels over the weekends.. We will just buy beer and tibits, rest in the room and well.. enjoy ourselves..
Ladies, try talking about this. I know it is hard and very uneasy.. but if your partner cares about you, he will understand and will do something to improve the relationship and make things better. Many of you have said, to be equal in a relationship, we have the rights to say what we want and how we want certain things in our relationshops..
Jia You Ladies!!! =)
Its very hard, but I took up the courage and told my partner about how I felt and what I think we can work on.. Like having the weekend off, a get-away holiday. Luckily, my partner is understanding enough and we share both of our thoughts about this. He appreciate me telling him all these, so he can understand our bedroom affairs better.
Now, he will ask me how I feel about our bedroom affairs on and off.. and we plan more short holidays to batam or some affordable boutique hotels over the weekends.. We will just buy beer and tibits, rest in the room and well.. enjoy ourselves..
Ladies, try talking about this. I know it is hard and very uneasy.. but if your partner cares about you, he will understand and will do something to improve the relationship and make things better. Many of you have said, to be equal in a relationship, we have the rights to say what we want and how we want certain things in our relationshops..
Jia You Ladies!!! =)
beatrice_chua
New Member
I think this is normal, but something we need to watch out. I mean, it also means that you have to do something to work things out with your relationship with our hubby. You can try reading fantasy romance books that may wake up your romantic spirit. Good luck!
anyone saw this forum www.sammyboyforum before? many married men who go for commercial sex / chat openly abt what they can do when their wives are not giving them sex etc etc. it's an eye opener. read and you will be surprised or shocked.
kalpanasingh
New Member
You should try to spent some more time with you husband and if needed then you can disclose your problem in front of him....hope he can understand.
starrycarin
New Member
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