Hi everyone! very heartening to read everybody's stories, inspired me to share mine and seek help, not wonder alone.
I was diagnosed with pcos in 2009 at my first visit to a Gynae (ever in my life!) and I was put on BCP. started out with diane35, but felt very ill on it. doc switched to Yasmin n I have been on it ever since. I'm never overweight in school, chubby n big size tall yes, but never in TAF or anything. I always have hair loss since puberty.
that's how long I've been on BCP! last year, I decided to change Gynae (in between Ive switched twice so this Gynae is my 4th opinion) who told me I'm not ovulating at all, I shouldn't take BCP. I was really quite heartbroken when he told me in such a straight forward matter-of-fact way, but I understood he meant no harm. so last year before CNY, i decided to stop.
that was when all hell broke loose.
I became rapidly depressed, I couldn't get out of bed - and I'm a rather happy person so you can imagine this switch. worse of all, I gained more than 10kg within a few months. I'm not exaggerating because I saw it happen, to the point stretch marks are all over me. my period didn't come for 8 months, and as dread eased as I was, I continued to work out exercise as I would. I increased my work out frequency, hired a PT, did TCM, photographed everything I ate and kept a log, etc. but no. I ballooned to 89kg and my fat percentage jumped.
nobody understood n just kept asking me to exercise n eat clean. it hurt so badly emotionally. I should be at the peak of my career; just came back from overseas n continuing to work back here. no. I felt so lousy.
I went to see a Gynae to ask why is this happening. my thyroids are fine, I'm doing everything right, but she can't find out why. that's all I got which made me lose so much faith.
after 8 months of misery, I chickened out and went back on BCP. I lost weight, 10kg, but never quite more to back when I was healthy. my mood came back, I was happy.
but deep inside I know it's not a long term solution.
so this year, at the urging of my family, I've decided to go off it. hopefully, for good. my long time BF proposed and he has been supportive. I continue to photograph my food I eat 1 slice of bread for breakfast, 1 salad no sauce for lunch, n a light dinner which I all account for with my PT, I continue to work out 4 times a week, with 1 time/week PT, aiming at minimum 2500kcal burn from Active workout (not counting 10k minimum walking or my home mini workouts). I run longer and faster, lift heavier. my PT commented that for my body weight I'm really very strong and high endurance, but the weight is limiting me.
but hey, guess what? I'm ballooning again.
I am back to where I was last year.
I'm tired, I'm hurting physically and internally and emotionally, and I don't know who can help. I'm stronger this year because I know I must overcome this once and for all, so I can get all the help I need. I'm not alone.
not sure if anyone has the same experiences as me, any advice, any professionals to seek?