ANY WEEKEND PARENTS HERE?

paulynl

New Member
I place my boy 25mths old with my mother at her place from Mon-Frid and he attends a preschool near her place. Reason being my mum wants to stay at her own place and given the far distance (she stays in the west and me in the north) we dont bring our son back everyday. My mum will bring him back every Friday afternoon,and back again on Monday. We visit our boy about 2-3 times during those days when he is at my mum's place but still I find I could have spent more time with him if he will to stay in my place. But problem is if I move him back my maid will be the one bringing him to and back from school and she will be left as the main care giver, thought I believe my mum will be able to drop by some days to check things out.



I am contemplating to do so starting from next year but still hesitating partly I havent found a preschool of my choice near where I stay. Anyone in similiar situation like me, do not bring child back during weekdays?

 


forestberries,



yes...alot of parents are!

and we are a few of those still make an effort to visit during weekdays.

there is still alot of parents din bother to visit their child during the weekday. one is my brother.



whether to bring him bk or not depend r u ok with discipline the mum given?

maid?-- not reliable at all even thou u install cctv....once something happened...regret is too late...get a baby sitter?

and wkday nites.. did u go out with your frens? if yes...it will be another reason u mus consider...cos leave him with your mum better than leave him with your maid whole day

 
Hi,

Thanks for sharing! My boy 25mths now attend child care full day so the only thing is for my maid to send him to school and I pick him up after school (on days if I cant she will do it). But prob is no preschool of my choice around my area so she need to either take a bus or train to get my son to school. Am contemplating whether to send son via school bus but has to be when he is slightly older. My maid will then be at my house the whole day to do the household chores. Of course I would expect to close one eye to know what she does the whole 7 hrs at home.



Since you are like me who visited during weekdays, have you thougth of bringing your child back when he is older? If yes when do you think its the best age.? Dont you think you will miss out the bonding with him eg reading to him before bed time and putting him to bed? We did thought of moving to the west but houses there are so expensive compared to where we stay now in the north and its just doesnt make financial sense to move becos of that.



I guess from now till preschool its still ok to move back as child care are full day and that will minimum the time the child has to spend with maid. But come Primary school is where the prob will be, he is going to spend more time at home before or after school along with maid again.Sigh....

 
Hi I am a weekday mother also. My 25th months ger stay with my mil and the maid. We tried everyday go back to eat dinner and play with her. Normally will to wait until she wanna sop then we go hme. Weekends also sometimes will bringing her back. Some more she not yet go to childcare or school yet. Even ur kidsfacing the maid for most of the time, but they will still know is their parent. Just see how much time will u spend with them.

 
hi.. i am a parent of a boy coming to 5 yrs old.. i have this experience last tme too, when my boy was at my mum's place till he was about 18 months, when we enrolled him to toddler class near our hse. In a way, he can make more frds, and also we can see him every day after work.



Reason that i put my boy in my mum place is also coz she is experienced in taking care of babies, also i think she is quite old now, and as we are expecting another one coming next yr, most probably i would get a maid, but the maid will still follow the baby to my mum hse next time.

 
Hi,



When I have my first ger, we moved to stay at my mum place on weekday until when my ger about 6month old then we started to bring her home every night, and yes, my mum place is about 15min drive from my place.



I enrolled her to childcare near my place when she is 20months old.



When I gave birth to my boy last december, I could not do the same way, as the room is too small for 4 of us... so I have to left my boy with my mum day and night, but after work we will pick up my ger and head to my mum place for dinner and play with my boy, change him and put him to sleep, then we head home...



This is a very tiring but worthwhile because we need to give parents some resting time and also must bond with our kids, and will not miss their growing moment as they learn and change everyday. : P



I am also thinking if getting a maid will be helpful but also afraid of leaving maid and boy at home alone.

 
hey juz a quick question, do u guys pay a token sum or anything at all to ur mum for helping u to look after ur kids? im comtemplating getting my mum to help me, but then she'll have to quit her current job. if i dun pay her then the family would have lost a source of income right.. any advice? thanks

 
of course....I think even if they dont help look after our kids, shouldnt we give them a monthly token for bringing us up?? Eh...i thought it should be the norm and whats more if they are helping us to look after our kids.

 
oh no i meant giving ur parents $, other than the usual monthly household allowance that we contribute.. that one of cos muz give even if not staying wif them or they are not helping u wif ur kids so not the issue..



thing is, if my mum quits her job, then technically do i give her an amt equivalent to her pay? then very xiong rite..

 
It really depends on individual financial ability and relationship with parents. But seriously looking after one's grandchildren a "job" substituite right? Its becos out of love they want to do it. For me I continue to give them a monthly allowance even before I have kids. And in fact my mum did not want to take that much from me as she felt that with kids I will have more financial burden. It really depends, everyone have their own unique situation.

 
Actually I'm contemplating with this arrangement also, but will put both baby + maid there. In law is rather old (not working anymore) but I'm not comfortable with leaving my baby with maid alone in my place. Maid paid by us of course, on the top of extra allowance as the maid & baby will definitely increase electricity usage, etc. Anyone with this arrangement run into problem? e.g. discipline the kids, etc.

 

Back
Top