Any mummies quit after Maternity Leave?

[melodypooh]

Hi,



Like to know when did you all tender?

Before you go back to work after Maternity Leave or you report back to work , then tender?

 

[skinneybeenie]

i did after 3 days.

 

[tulip3]

really? and you served 1mth's notice? What did your boss say?

 

[thesavvymummy]

I'm thinking of applying for one year no pay leave to be with my baby. Wonder is that a good idea? Any other mummies tried this before? Did you eventually go back to work?

 

[skinneybeenie]

my boss refused to give unpaid leave, asked me to resign. yes i served the full notice. no regrets.

 

[ju2btm]

I quit after preggy 3mths heheh

 

[lovestork]

wow! Juju! I salute u!



I quit my work, only to find out a mth later that I'm pregnant! I kinda regret especially when bills arrive, bt at teh same time, hubby happier cos our 1st daughter with me, & we r having fun!

 

[princess_sherry]

kookyash, so have you found a new job now?

 

[rain4days]

Actually I'm pondering on the option too.



My immediate family are overseas-based. I don't really want to leave my kid on strangers (infant care, maid, etc) but I love working and I love my job too. Also, my husband is running his own business so finance kinda 'high' and 'low' at different timing - seriously not sure if it is wise to go with single income.



I have not told my boss anything yet because I don't want to cause unnecessary panic and lost my job. Anyway I still have 7 months (+ 4 months maternity leave) to think about it.



By the way, is there any penalty if you resign directly after you finish your maternity leave? (Apart from paiseh after taking 4 months paid leave u said u dowan to go back to work )

 

[sha85]

I dun think there's any penalty.coz ML is a govt requirement.it doesnt mean u need to have any 'bond' with ur company

 

[scattermum]

mummies,im very vexed now,maternity ended in aug n i took npl till dec, n now i dunno if i shd go bk to the workforce as baby is only 7 mths very young n i wanna be there for him 24 hrs.Shd i go bk to work my in laws n mum will take good care of him but still i dun feel good and i wonder what the pt of giving birth then leaving the baby to care givers while u see him for a few hrs each night.

However at the same time i dunno if we can cope financially with hubby single income.i hv alot of personal commitment too n i dun wanna be asking money frm him all the time.

i hv been crying over this matter n been having very bad headache too.

 

[rain4days]

I think at the end of the days we need to weight the pro and cons. Single income family is not easy (baby add expense too, frankly) and job security nowadays is very questionable. Not sure also if I can adjust being a domestic goddess after being in the workforce for quite sometimes lol But on the other hand, wrong upbringing and lost time can't be quantified with money.



blessed > totally understand your dilemma. I'm only 2,5 months pregnant and still unsure about it. My situation is worse though as mother is overseas and MIL passed away [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 

[scattermum]

Hi clAire, before my baby was out I was kinda prepared to return to workforce however after spending mths with him,I really can't bear to leave him with caregivers(grand parents).just when I had decided to extend my leave for half to a year my colleague rang me up n asked me to reconsider my decision.I look at my monthly expenditure n sad to say I hv too much commitment if u were to get monthly allowance frm daddy that will be too taxing for him.I hv decided to go bk to work n yes I still cry when I look at my little boy.i just hope he will stay close to me.if u can afford financially do stay hm for a few yrs,i wish I can do that though .

 

[rain4days]

blessed > that sounds so heart breaking [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] actually have you considered switching to part-time instead? Of course you will earn less but you got to spend more time with your baby.



To be honest I'm still clueless because I have no idea how much our monthly expenditure will swell once baby came. It's hard to judge whether or not my husband can support the entire family alone as his earning is not fixed too [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] But another option I was thinking of is to find a part-time employment instead so at least I can cover my own expense.

 

[happyface1]

Hi Blessed and Claire,



I am facing the same problem as Blessed not long ago and almost wanted to quit my job for serving 20 yrs. No choice have to bite the pain to carry on as I have 3 childrens to feed. Its really very painful till i break down so many times. hiding at a corner to cry and one only friend at work (Female) to talk it out.



Stay .....you can pull it thru.... My baby now 14mths...my pain slowly goes off..

 

[binchotan]

im in the same situation as you gals that i have the intention of quitting my job and stay hm to look after my child too. But the thought of financial made me have second thought about it.



Although hubby told me he is able to support but i doubt so and do not want to add on additional burden to him. I also have commitment on my side.



Nw im preggie with 2nd one, so the same thought came back again. Shld i resign or stay at hm to look after them?hmm....

 

[rain4days]

happyface > 3 children definitely a lot of responsibility, be strong ya!



magdalene > i'm in similar situation, hubby told me he's okay supporting the family if i want to quit but somehow i don't have the confident [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] also paiseh if I had to ask him money all the time. Mine is the first child.

 

[scattermum]

My Hubby also said he can give me monthly allowance but Again I think I shd go bk to work n save money for rainy days or my baby future education.living standard is do high now I really find it tough if Hubby is the sole breadwinner though his salary is quite high too.

 

[tulip3]

if hubby support decision to quit then should go for it, after all it's not going to be long term, just the first few years. For me, hubby doesn't support decision cos of $$ but also no other options except maid. donno what to do.

 

[beowie]

Hi, I think it's MOM rule that after we can't tender/resign during Maternity Leave. We can only tender from the day we return to office after ML.



I will most likely be a SAHM after my bb is born. Right now still figuring out when I should tender my resignation.



I have a good relationship with my boss and don't really want to tender the day I return to office after ML as that is like 'burning bridges' in my opinion. On the other hand i do not wish to forgo my Maternity Leave.



anyone care to share their opinion/ideas?



@blessed: I know what you feel... as the standard of living in Singapore is very high. Also there is the insecurity of having to depend solely on our hub to support the family. It is a huge sacrifice on the mother to give up her career to look after her baby full-time. I myself have the same mixed feelings. But Hub insists for me to quit as he thinks that my time with bb is invaluable and it is important for him to know that I am there with bb as he is often overseas at work.

 

[elisechow]

hi gals, i did tender after i have almost finished my ML. i worked for 3 months after coming bk from ML and then quit! i think having a part time job is the best for mummies who needs the cash and have some time for our babies too. but if family finances dun allow, better don't quit. i also find it so difficult to leave my bb every morning and rush to carry her the moment i step into the house.

 

[rain4days]

Most likely I'm going to tender after my ML - but instead of the usual 1 month notice maybe I'll give 3 months notice if my boss requires - that way it will be easier to find a replacement.

 

[pinkiemie]

i tendered after my ML too.. about 3 months later, but that is coz i found another job.. hehe



we can afford it financially, but i feel that 2 income is better than relying on 1 income, and my own expenditure is very high, so my hubby prefers that i work as well..



and i am so far, ok with my mum taking care of my daughter who is 16 months old now.. of coz i miss the times spent with my daughter.. but have to weigh the pros and cons lo..

 

[amberosw]

Hey I'm also considering the same thing. But I'm going to go back to work and see how things work out. Do any of you want to meet up? Those with babies can come along. Welcome preggie moms too. I'm hosting a moms support group at home this Wednesday. 16 feb. If anyone is interested pls go to www.babycafe.com.sg

 

[sunesis]

Hey mummies, I'm in a similar situation. But me worst, I'm thinking of tendering on e day I returned to work after my ML. Felt really bad as I'm currently on hospital leave prior to delivery due to some complications. I wanted to resign more because I don't like my boss & e working environment, I can't work OT & they don't like it. I'm most likely going to look for another job.



My concern is would they let me off if I tender e moment I'm back & like what one of e mummies said, really burn e bridges.

 

[yurieve18]

I tendered on the very 1st day back to work after my ML. I tendered 1st thing in the morning, giving the company 1mth notice. But by 5pm, my boss told me they dun need me to serve the notice at all. So my 1st day back at work also became my last day.

 

[rain4days]

sunesis > of course they will let you off (after you serve your notice period) - legally they can't force you to continue working if you don't want too. Most company contract also stated that you can pay salary in lieu of notice period (but that one you have to check with your employment contract cuz diff company may have diff rules) - but this one is die die cannot tahan to even work for one day there.

 

[pll]

Hi, I am working on my own time on consulting, accounting and hr jobs now after i quit my job when i was pregnant.



My company actually paying commission to person who introduce new clients to us on Recruitment matters. I think this is suitable for mummies who really like to earn some extra money and no commitment of time and work required.



Very easy, just introduce us the HR in charge for the companies and engage us as their recruitment consultant. No cost for the engagement to the client. So long the company hire someone through our company within these 2 year time and the introducer will get the commission of certain % on the fee.



If you are interested, do pm me for detail.

 

[yell0wp0wer]

If you've already made up your mind about staying home to care for your kid/s, but yet like your workplace and boss/colleagues, consider giving notice before maternity leave and forfeiting the benefits. That's what I did, didn't want to take the money and run.



Evelyn

http://thebottomsupblog.com

 

[zuleika83]

I had a colleague who tendered within 2 weeks after taking all her ML.



For me, I cannot afford to be a SAHM so no choice gotta go back to work. Only good thing is my company is pro-children so have a few more days childcare leave. I like my work also. Good env, good colleagues, good boss. All helps with having a kid.



Most impt thing is my company has on-site childcare centre that offers subsidised childcare for staff. About half price only. So for the savings over those 4-5+yrs in childcare, I will continue working.



Of course I feel extremely sad tt I gotta leave my girl w my MIL. Worry abt her ability to take care of her, worry MIL let maid look aft baby cos she lazy, worry abt whether baby will love me less.... all the worries u can think of la..



If I could financially afford to be SAHM, I would be.

 

[fatfat]

hi all.

im also quite new to the thread. but i also share and in dilema about returning to work. i hav 2 kids, older one is 2 yr and the youngest is just 3 mths and in another month time im gg back to work.



but i really miss both my kids alot esp the older one is at the age where they so inquisite and startt to learn alot and my youngest girl is only 3 mths old and how i iwsh i can have more time for both of time.



my work is quite stressful and involve night conference call once a while due to US time zone. and it get quite stressful for me cos after work my husband and i both need to juggle our kids dinner, bathing and sleeping so i always have prob doing night concall and to do OT.



i wanted to quit and my husband say basic neccessity and houshold he still can afford but cant aford to give me peronsal allowances and nor to keep a maid.



i feel maybe it will be quite tireing for me if without the maid to do the household chores and if im not working then my older kid cant go to childcare and i prob have to teach him at home. i may not able to manage 2 kids on my own.



im kind of dilema. anybody facing the same issue as me??



now with dual income, at least i have a maid, a car to ferry my boy to school, i got my own spending expeditures. but if i quit, i will not have any and not sure if i will really still enjoy being a stay at home mum...



help..

 

[poppyqueen]

Hi wish to be mum,



Maybe you could consider look for another job that offers you more regular working hours. May have to take a pay cut, but at least you can spend quality time with your kids when back at home while still having the benefit of dual income.

 

[fazgabriel]

i left my job a few weeks after returning to work after ML. I don't regret it at all! We didn't have help from our parents and we hired a maid but it drove me crazy to come home everyday after work only for my maid to tell me about how my daughter was laughing and playing all day and that i missed it all! worse still, there was a day when my hubby was on MC and he observed my maid and the baby and found that she wasn't very careful when handling the baby. now i feel so much better knowing that i'm always there for my baby and that she is properly taken care of plus i get to enjoy her laughs everyday. My hubby and I have had to be realistic and re-evaluate our expenses but in the bigger picture, i think being there with my child especially during these early years will be much more rewarding. When I tendered, I actually had a open conversation with my boss and told him that while i enjoyed my job, my priority in life has shifted and thankfully he understood where i was coming from.



For me, becoming a SAHM has been a good choice. I feel that work will always be there and i can go back to work in a few years time after my little one is a bit older. i guess it also depends on what industry one is in...

 

[babyjoanna]

i wish that i will always have that kind of time with my baby too but we can't afford. why olden days, hubby one person can make all the money, wife at home caring 6, 8 kids also no problem?

society really change.

 

[aylie]

i am a working mother and yes i did entertain the thoughts of not working because i want to spend more time with my girl who is almost 6 months now. i went back to work when she was 9 weeks old and my colleagues who have been covering me are all overworked. i didn't want to be a burden to them and despite not wanting to leave my baby, i have no choice but to go back.



my husband could probably cover all of our living expenses if i quit BUT same as everyone we have to relook at our standard of living. because i have always been financially independent (i pay my own and half of the family's expenses, my husband pays his own and half the expenses plus the car), he said he can absorb all of our living costs but i don't want to not have options for my baby next time when she grows up. things like choosing a better school for her (say private childcare or better/ overseas education), or say extra curriculum classes like ballet, music, etc.. i am not saying i want to put her through all these class, but if she wants to take them next time she is older, we want to be able to provide for her if she has the interest.



that thought has been with me since she's born, but recently i decided it's much better for me to continue working so we can prepare for her future.

 

[aiko2010]

I enjoyed my work very much before I had a baby. But I decided to become a SAHM after she arrived.



Though my boss has constantly been asking me to return to work since she is now old enough to go into childcare, I have turned him down.



I guess if I have a certain timeframe to return work, I would have taken a no-pay leave back then, rather than having my maternity leave forfeited.



There is plenty of pros and cons to be a SAHM. It really depends on each family's situation.



For us, there is no amount of money or material goods or better other stuff that replaces the time and love spent with our children.



Err, I mean all parents love their children and want the best for them. No right or wrong way to do it.



I think single-income family is always very tough for both husband and wife.



The husband has the constant fear of losing the job because he knows he can't afford to and in today's society our job is no longer secure like in our parents' days.



The wife will have to be very, very thrifty (or even calculative) which is not something we are very used to do since we used to own an income prior to having children.



Imagine having an extra mouth to feed but less one income.



But for us, our children worth the trade-off.