Advise on maid
- Thread starter cottonbb
- Start date
preciousfaith07
Member
Hi Mei,
I think you should consider getting a confinement nanny instead of a maid especially since this is your 1st baby, confinement nannies will be able to give you lots of advises and help. Things like cooking of confinement food and bathing of newborn is not what most maids can do. Watsmore, confinement nannies does the housework too so there's no worries on the housework.
Or if financially its not a prob at all, you can also consider getting a maid in advance so that after you give birth, the confinement nanny can teach your maid how to tend to your newborn.
When will your baby be due?
I think you should consider getting a confinement nanny instead of a maid especially since this is your 1st baby, confinement nannies will be able to give you lots of advises and help. Things like cooking of confinement food and bathing of newborn is not what most maids can do. Watsmore, confinement nannies does the housework too so there's no worries on the housework.
Or if financially its not a prob at all, you can also consider getting a maid in advance so that after you give birth, the confinement nanny can teach your maid how to tend to your newborn.
When will your baby be due?
Baby is due in July. I'm worried that confinement nannies will limit the scope of housework. I heard some confinement nannies will refuse to do housework and wash/cook for hubby. But if no maid, i can also use part-time maid for the housework.
Being 1st time parents, we are unsure of what to do.
Being 1st time parents, we are unsure of what to do.
lynnette_sim
New Member
I think confinement lady is better than maid. They are experience in taking care of baby. Maid is more for housework. If you want your maid to take care of your baby( Bathing, feeding and etc) and doing housework, it's too much for a maid to handle.
hi hopefully,
u mean i can get part time to do housework? how did you manage to cope? do have your mother or MIL helping you?
i'll be alone with the baby in the daytime when hubby goes to work. not sure if i can cope with confinement lady. and who to do housework, wash clothes and cook for me and hubby???
u mean i can get part time to do housework? how did you manage to cope? do have your mother or MIL helping you?
i'll be alone with the baby in the daytime when hubby goes to work. not sure if i can cope with confinement lady. and who to do housework, wash clothes and cook for me and hubby???
Hi Mei
i agree on getting confinement lady instead of maid.i m a mother of 4 age 1-5. i had confinement lady for all delivery even with maid and mother in law to help. cos confinement lady will wake up in the night to feed the baby. most of them do help to do simple houseworks if not alot of people staying in the house. they will sweep the floor, wash the clothes and even cook for your husband. personally i dn trust maid with the baby.
i agree on getting confinement lady instead of maid.i m a mother of 4 age 1-5. i had confinement lady for all delivery even with maid and mother in law to help. cos confinement lady will wake up in the night to feed the baby. most of them do help to do simple houseworks if not alot of people staying in the house. they will sweep the floor, wash the clothes and even cook for your husband. personally i dn trust maid with the baby.
If you plan to go back to work, then I suggest get a maid in advance before the confinement lady come in. Settle the maid with all the general things she has to do, prepare her, where the baby stuff are etc so she is mentally prepared what to do when you deliver. You will need the extra help at home when you are heavy. Confinement lady is good for a month only no matter how good they are...some are not even properly trained even though they have lots of experience...when my baby peditrician check my confinement lady knowledge, I realise good as they are, they may not know the most effective and correct way eg. to burp a child quickly. They just simple touch the child till they hear a burping sound. Worse still if we didn't bother to check with doctors, we won't know the medically proven way to handle the baby. So in my opinion and certainly experience, get both in if financial is not an issue. I have to wait for my maid after the confinement lady and I regret the experience as I become so mentally stressed with lack of sleep being a new mum, plus having to train the maid later. I had to do shifts with my mum and make her equally tired too. Therefore, if you plan to work and have the financial capability to hire both, then get the maid in at least 3 months before the confinement lady. It is true that confinement ladies may not do the house chores or maybe only help tidy a bit but not thoroughly. My coming confinement will only do baby that's all.
And don't forget maids are maids. They cannot replace our position as a mother to our child so we need to teach them the preferred way to handle our baby in our absence. How they do it in their country is certainly different. The confinement lady will certainly demonstrate to the maid but most critically you have to learn and teach the maid as the baby grows.
hi mei,
my mil do the confinement for me then she back to work, so during the day I amm alone with baby already very busy. I dont have to do housework, only the baby clothes i need to laundry, as he changes his tops alot. so if u staying alone, best u get a maid/part time to do general houework. so u cant concentrate on baby.
or u can get part time nanny to help with baby while u take breather to do some housework/grocery.
my mil do the confinement for me then she back to work, so during the day I amm alone with baby already very busy. I dont have to do housework, only the baby clothes i need to laundry, as he changes his tops alot. so if u staying alone, best u get a maid/part time to do general houework. so u cant concentrate on baby.
or u can get part time nanny to help with baby while u take breather to do some housework/grocery.
silverlining
New Member
Hi Mei,
I have twins in Oct 2009 and was looking for a domestic helper in June 2009. Only in March 2010, I found my not-so-problemic helper. Here's why...
1- Agency lies about their true age and experience. (Oversea agency provided most of these Biodata and I was looking for a married one)
2- Selected ones no show at airport (Work permit, insurance, agent fee, gov levy paid ), 1 had TP after medical checked in her country, 1 of them had VD, 1 decided to change employer after checking your background.
3- Those who arrived successfully in S’pore need to go thru 1 week training, MOM Eng test, 2nd round medical checkup.
4- 1st to arrive attended a 1 month training by my wife and myself. Later told us she forgot what she has to do. (Act dump symptom), then ill treat 1 of my twins by constantly feeding him with her lips’ skin (she torn it from her lips). Sent her back to agent.
5- 2nd to arrive (same as step 4) and demanded $200 advanced payment after working for 2 weeks. Her income was $400/mth and I paid 6 months on her behalf. I refused advance payment, she ill treat my twins with staining 6 milk bottles’ nipple with DISH WASHING DETERGENT. I caught her red-handed while trying out my Security Cam in the kitchen ( hire a security integrator to help). Sent her back to agent.
6-3rd arrived 1 day after 2nd as I have decided to hire 2 helpers at 1 go (our parents unwell to take care). 2nd one always put the blame on the 3rd and she was furious.
So I have been to agency office more than 30 times, at a point where I was paying for 3 helpers levy (3x $170). Oh yes, not forgetting I have interview 20 nannies and tried out on 1. (she like to drink red beer and ask advanced pay to go Genting) You can say I’m down on luck. But never bet on your luck when it comes to taking care of your babies. Trust no one (screen, screen and screen). All helpers are not tested for Hep A, Hep B or Hep C. I paid for A and B to be on the safe side.
I have twins in Oct 2009 and was looking for a domestic helper in June 2009. Only in March 2010, I found my not-so-problemic helper. Here's why...
1- Agency lies about their true age and experience. (Oversea agency provided most of these Biodata and I was looking for a married one)
2- Selected ones no show at airport (Work permit, insurance, agent fee, gov levy paid ), 1 had TP after medical checked in her country, 1 of them had VD, 1 decided to change employer after checking your background.
3- Those who arrived successfully in S’pore need to go thru 1 week training, MOM Eng test, 2nd round medical checkup.
4- 1st to arrive attended a 1 month training by my wife and myself. Later told us she forgot what she has to do. (Act dump symptom), then ill treat 1 of my twins by constantly feeding him with her lips’ skin (she torn it from her lips). Sent her back to agent.
5- 2nd to arrive (same as step 4) and demanded $200 advanced payment after working for 2 weeks. Her income was $400/mth and I paid 6 months on her behalf. I refused advance payment, she ill treat my twins with staining 6 milk bottles’ nipple with DISH WASHING DETERGENT. I caught her red-handed while trying out my Security Cam in the kitchen ( hire a security integrator to help). Sent her back to agent.
6-3rd arrived 1 day after 2nd as I have decided to hire 2 helpers at 1 go (our parents unwell to take care). 2nd one always put the blame on the 3rd and she was furious.
So I have been to agency office more than 30 times, at a point where I was paying for 3 helpers levy (3x $170). Oh yes, not forgetting I have interview 20 nannies and tried out on 1. (she like to drink red beer and ask advanced pay to go Genting) You can say I’m down on luck. But never bet on your luck when it comes to taking care of your babies. Trust no one (screen, screen and screen). All helpers are not tested for Hep A, Hep B or Hep C. I paid for A and B to be on the safe side.
cheerbabejes
New Member
omg.. i feel so sorry for u silver.. thinking of getting a maid too.. edd in april.. how's your current maid so far? any agency to recommend?
Hi Mei,
Alot of friends advise me not to hire maid when i was in the situation like yours. Because chances are you will have more to worry about. Trust me, you are able to handle it by yourself, me too was first time mum & i coped it well. God created women in such a way that we will naturally know what to do when we become a mummy & able to multi task.
My son is now 2 YO & my No. 2 is due soon. I still do well without a maid, but i get a part time cleaner to clean the house since i'm pregnant. Fortunately I get a good & fast one, if you need a PT cleaner, PM me for her contact.
You can try out part time helper from now, to clean the house once a week, then get a confinement lady when u due.
Alot of friends advise me not to hire maid when i was in the situation like yours. Because chances are you will have more to worry about. Trust me, you are able to handle it by yourself, me too was first time mum & i coped it well. God created women in such a way that we will naturally know what to do when we become a mummy & able to multi task.
My son is now 2 YO & my No. 2 is due soon. I still do well without a maid, but i get a part time cleaner to clean the house since i'm pregnant. Fortunately I get a good & fast one, if you need a PT cleaner, PM me for her contact.
You can try out part time helper from now, to clean the house once a week, then get a confinement lady when u due.
Mel,
I'm self-employed, working from home. my MIL help me with the confinement, and I started working 2 mths after my confinement.
Only me & baby alone at home, i give my baby a fixed routine since day 1, all his feed, nap, wake time are expectable. He slept true the night since 8 weeks old. Basically his sleep time & wake time are good. Very healthy too. Even until now he's turning 2YO, he still have a proper routine.
Apart from babysitting, I still do the housework & cooking. Though abit tiring at times, but very fulfilling. That's why I have the courage to have 2nd one so soon : )
I'm self-employed, working from home. my MIL help me with the confinement, and I started working 2 mths after my confinement.
Only me & baby alone at home, i give my baby a fixed routine since day 1, all his feed, nap, wake time are expectable. He slept true the night since 8 weeks old. Basically his sleep time & wake time are good. Very healthy too. Even until now he's turning 2YO, he still have a proper routine.
Apart from babysitting, I still do the housework & cooking. Though abit tiring at times, but very fulfilling. That's why I have the courage to have 2nd one so soon : )
pinky_gal84
Member
Hi, I am in dilemna too..
my 2nd due in Aug 2011. My 1st is now 10 mths old.. My mom is looking after the 1st. and around 4 plus my nephew will be back from his nursery cum childcare. I got a problematic dad at home too. So it is damn stress for my mom.
I am considering hiring a maid for her. but on 2nd tot maid will introduce new prob. sending my 1st to childcare after i give birth. but i also worried dunno whether he able to cope or nt. though childcare min age is 18 mths. which he will hit by then i deliver.
wad should i do!?
my 2nd due in Aug 2011. My 1st is now 10 mths old.. My mom is looking after the 1st. and around 4 plus my nephew will be back from his nursery cum childcare. I got a problematic dad at home too. So it is damn stress for my mom.
I am considering hiring a maid for her. but on 2nd tot maid will introduce new prob. sending my 1st to childcare after i give birth. but i also worried dunno whether he able to cope or nt. though childcare min age is 18 mths. which he will hit by then i deliver.
wad should i do!?
crystal_cloud
Member
dear anne,
i also comtemplateing whether to get a maid or not.
i will be returning to work after maternity leave and is very afraid of whether i can be able to cope with a crying baby at night and after work, when im dead tired?
durin day time, hubby will fetch baby to my mom's place...dinner time we will pick baby up.
i told hubby to see-how on engaging a maid after going thru mth 1-2 during confinement first..
anne, how did you make your 8weeks old baby sleep thru the night?
i also comtemplateing whether to get a maid or not.
i will be returning to work after maternity leave and is very afraid of whether i can be able to cope with a crying baby at night and after work, when im dead tired?
durin day time, hubby will fetch baby to my mom's place...dinner time we will pick baby up.
i told hubby to see-how on engaging a maid after going thru mth 1-2 during confinement first..
anne, how did you make your 8weeks old baby sleep thru the night?
Hi crystal,
ya...attending baby at night can be very tiring especially you have to work the next morning. That's why it's important to train our babies to sleep thru early.
For me, i attended a parenting course based on Ezzo Parenting, You may google on this for more info, or buy their book.
Basically i schedule-fed my baby every 3hrs, if he really hungry & cry non-stop, i will give him ard 2.5hr. You really have to be firm to stick to this schedule, wake baby up for feeding if the 3hr interval is up.
The last feeding of the day is around 10-11pm. Then let baby sleep till he/she wake up on their own. Then feed them, start your 3hr schedule again. For my son, the night sleep time becoming longer & longer until he finally sleep thru from 10pm-6pm at 8wks! Thank God. And as he grow older, we shift the last-feeding time earlier, then he can sleep even longer. Now he's able to sleep from 8pm-8am.
Another important thing is to give your baby full feeding each time, means 15mins each left & right BF.(sometimes longer if baby not corporative or sleepy). This part has to be very very patient. I used to BF him for 45-60mins. If formula, make sure they finish the amount required. Full feeding is to ensure that your baby can last for 3hr feeding time.
Alot of parents still go with demand feeding where they feed baby when baby cry, If baby suck halfway & stop, then mommy also let it be. This way baby will 'manipulate' to their own schedule & hard to be trained. Though some say this is the right way because babies are so innocent & dunno anything, so have to respond to their need 24/7. Not for me & my hubby, we find Ezzo method make sense & it proved us right. Though we been thru lots of objection/discouragement from older gen, siblings, frens etc. But we still stand firm, that's why our boy is so happy & healthy since day 1.
Sorry for the long message, just wanna share my experience.
Hope this is helpful to you & those who need such info.
Blessings!
ya...attending baby at night can be very tiring especially you have to work the next morning. That's why it's important to train our babies to sleep thru early.
For me, i attended a parenting course based on Ezzo Parenting, You may google on this for more info, or buy their book.
Basically i schedule-fed my baby every 3hrs, if he really hungry & cry non-stop, i will give him ard 2.5hr. You really have to be firm to stick to this schedule, wake baby up for feeding if the 3hr interval is up.
The last feeding of the day is around 10-11pm. Then let baby sleep till he/she wake up on their own. Then feed them, start your 3hr schedule again. For my son, the night sleep time becoming longer & longer until he finally sleep thru from 10pm-6pm at 8wks! Thank God. And as he grow older, we shift the last-feeding time earlier, then he can sleep even longer. Now he's able to sleep from 8pm-8am.
Another important thing is to give your baby full feeding each time, means 15mins each left & right BF.(sometimes longer if baby not corporative or sleepy). This part has to be very very patient. I used to BF him for 45-60mins. If formula, make sure they finish the amount required. Full feeding is to ensure that your baby can last for 3hr feeding time.
Alot of parents still go with demand feeding where they feed baby when baby cry, If baby suck halfway & stop, then mommy also let it be. This way baby will 'manipulate' to their own schedule & hard to be trained. Though some say this is the right way because babies are so innocent & dunno anything, so have to respond to their need 24/7. Not for me & my hubby, we find Ezzo method make sense & it proved us right. Though we been thru lots of objection/discouragement from older gen, siblings, frens etc. But we still stand firm, that's why our boy is so happy & healthy since day 1.
Sorry for the long message, just wanna share my experience.
Hope this is helpful to you & those who need such info.
Blessings!
jesstham_77
New Member
i have a bit of mine to share.
i will never entrust my flesh and blood to a complete stranger, esp - maid. Anne is right, woman will eventually know what is multi-taking in times to come.
i get a CL for 4weeks, she took very good care of my newborn and me, do simple hsewk, i told her not to tired herself out, as her top priority shd be baby, and my meals. For heavy duty hsewk, huby will handle when he back from work, his dinner - tabao [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
after she is gone, i handled everything on my own. (lucky my gal is cooperative, she slp thru the night since 8wk old)
back to work on the 12th week. my mum help me look after my gal, after work, we pick her up, eta home and complete necessary chores.
i still dare not think of a 2nd bb, coz my mum drop hint tt she doesn't want to help, other then infant care, i cant think of any.
i will never entrust my flesh and blood to a complete stranger, esp - maid. Anne is right, woman will eventually know what is multi-taking in times to come.
i get a CL for 4weeks, she took very good care of my newborn and me, do simple hsewk, i told her not to tired herself out, as her top priority shd be baby, and my meals. For heavy duty hsewk, huby will handle when he back from work, his dinner - tabao [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
after she is gone, i handled everything on my own. (lucky my gal is cooperative, she slp thru the night since 8wk old)
back to work on the 12th week. my mum help me look after my gal, after work, we pick her up, eta home and complete necessary chores.
i still dare not think of a 2nd bb, coz my mum drop hint tt she doesn't want to help, other then infant care, i cant think of any.
wingkei
Member
My number 1 is 2 yr plus and my number 2 is due in mid Feb. At first, my hubby and I were going to get a maid, but then now, with the recent increase in salary for Indo maid, he decided not to, which left me very stressed. I'm a full time working mother although I plan on only going back to work about 5 months later. The original plan was to have a maid help me out and during confinement, his mother will cook for me. Then now, with no maids, who will help me during the nights? He already declared that he has to work, so he will not help me during the nights and there is no mention of his mother staying over during the nights. He refuses to let my mother do the confinement for me. And he is very confident that his mother alone can take care of our 2 children after I return to work. I wonder if anyone here has any experience with your MIL taking care of 2 children at this age alone. Care to share any thoughts? My hubby is also very very particular with cleanliess, everything has to be spick and span. Even the switches in the house have to be wiped as dust will accumulate on them. He would nag at me non-stop about cleaning the house, even now. I am still ironing my own clothes, and trying to do as much housework as possible at 34 weeks. The only thing he does now is mopping and vacuuming as I really can't handle them. But once I have given birth, it's back to me again. I thought having a maid around would be a blessing. But now, it seems unlikely. With a full time job, 2 young children and no help at all, I wonder how I can cope. Does anyone have any suggestions?
jesstham_77
New Member
Hi Wingkei,
i think u need to discuss w your hubi on sharing the burden of chores, a home belongs to both parties, not just let u handle everything alone. Is he kinda a MCP? he has to work, and same goes to u. both has to work hand in hand in order to cope with bb during the night. he handle some chores while u handle your bb during the night.
put your elder in childcare. or in worst scenario, put the small one into infant care.
it is quite difficult for an old folk to handle both kid single handedly.
also, a maid may not be blessing unless u are good with luck to get a good one who don't do funny things to both your kids.
i think u need to discuss w your hubi on sharing the burden of chores, a home belongs to both parties, not just let u handle everything alone. Is he kinda a MCP? he has to work, and same goes to u. both has to work hand in hand in order to cope with bb during the night. he handle some chores while u handle your bb during the night.
put your elder in childcare. or in worst scenario, put the small one into infant care.
it is quite difficult for an old folk to handle both kid single handedly.
also, a maid may not be blessing unless u are good with luck to get a good one who don't do funny things to both your kids.
wingkei
Member
Hi Sotong_mommy (jesstham_77),
He is MCP, I feel. Oh he will do the work, but makes a lot of noise that it's so depressing to hear. And funny thing is, he can say this is dirty, that is dirty, and tell me to clean it but will not clean it. With the amount of effort spent asking me to clean, he can just do it himself, right? And after he has mopped the floor, it will be like so precious. There was once, he told my daughter to eat her bread in the toilet because he has just mopped the floor and can't let the crumbs drop onto the floor. It was so depressing to hear. So I would actually rather do it than let him do, at least I'm not that 'crazy'. And because of the cleaning problem, I tried to help out during my first confinement and there were a few times when my fingers turned stiff.
I was so appreciative of my mother helping me during my first confinement. The problem is, I'm going to have a caesarean, so I can't keep getting out of the bed to carry baby, I would need someone to help bring the baby to me.
I also think that it is difficult for an old folk to handle both kids single handedly, but he keeps saying if he is not worried, why should I be. My elder one has just started on a 2-hour playgroup, and he said to put her in a half-day childcare after I return to work, but that will be after the new baby arrives. I'm pretty worried about that too as my older one is just getting used to a playgroup and suddenly, we changed her to a half day child care, and also, I'm worried about putting her in childcare when the new baby comes, will she feel that she is being sent away because of the new baby and blames him? Infant care for my new one is impossible, my husband wants to save cost by not getting a maid, and infant care is definitely more expensive than that. Also, I don't think my MIL will allow us to put the new baby in infant care. One of the worst things is that I think my MIL believes she can handle the children single handedly.
I know, I've read so many stories about maids. But I'm so exhausted with doing the house work and working full time and taking care of the older child that I'm just desperate for some help.
He is MCP, I feel. Oh he will do the work, but makes a lot of noise that it's so depressing to hear. And funny thing is, he can say this is dirty, that is dirty, and tell me to clean it but will not clean it. With the amount of effort spent asking me to clean, he can just do it himself, right? And after he has mopped the floor, it will be like so precious. There was once, he told my daughter to eat her bread in the toilet because he has just mopped the floor and can't let the crumbs drop onto the floor. It was so depressing to hear. So I would actually rather do it than let him do, at least I'm not that 'crazy'. And because of the cleaning problem, I tried to help out during my first confinement and there were a few times when my fingers turned stiff.
I was so appreciative of my mother helping me during my first confinement. The problem is, I'm going to have a caesarean, so I can't keep getting out of the bed to carry baby, I would need someone to help bring the baby to me.
I also think that it is difficult for an old folk to handle both kids single handedly, but he keeps saying if he is not worried, why should I be. My elder one has just started on a 2-hour playgroup, and he said to put her in a half-day childcare after I return to work, but that will be after the new baby arrives. I'm pretty worried about that too as my older one is just getting used to a playgroup and suddenly, we changed her to a half day child care, and also, I'm worried about putting her in childcare when the new baby comes, will she feel that she is being sent away because of the new baby and blames him? Infant care for my new one is impossible, my husband wants to save cost by not getting a maid, and infant care is definitely more expensive than that. Also, I don't think my MIL will allow us to put the new baby in infant care. One of the worst things is that I think my MIL believes she can handle the children single handedly.
I know, I've read so many stories about maids. But I'm so exhausted with doing the house work and working full time and taking care of the older child that I'm just desperate for some help.
jesstham_77
New Member
Hi wingkei
your hubi behaviour is some kind of "disorder", but off hand i cant rem the exact term. he need to see a dr on this, and it can get v serious. eg. everything will seems ditry to him & he will kp washing his hands for nothing.
u really hv a tough prob with regards to helper issue.
why not try to put her to half day childcare now? a mth later to full day, but, the child will v ez to fall sick during the first 6mth there, flu or cough or fever. try let her go early and get use to it, to mingle with her peers, so she wont feel she's being send away.
i understd some old folks are v stubborn one, hug hug...
after c'ser, u'hv to avoid cold water, wind will gets into your body. u still can carry bb lar eg bf, cant do it for long hr...
i can understd your main concern at this pt of time. hug hug
your hubi behaviour is some kind of "disorder", but off hand i cant rem the exact term. he need to see a dr on this, and it can get v serious. eg. everything will seems ditry to him & he will kp washing his hands for nothing.
u really hv a tough prob with regards to helper issue.
why not try to put her to half day childcare now? a mth later to full day, but, the child will v ez to fall sick during the first 6mth there, flu or cough or fever. try let her go early and get use to it, to mingle with her peers, so she wont feel she's being send away.
i understd some old folks are v stubborn one, hug hug...
after c'ser, u'hv to avoid cold water, wind will gets into your body. u still can carry bb lar eg bf, cant do it for long hr...
i can understd your main concern at this pt of time. hug hug
wingkei
Member
Hi Sotong_mommy (jesstham_77),
The only consolation is, he has not gotten to that extent yet.
She just started on the 2-hour playgroup, hence I'm hesitant to change her again. I know, just for 2-hour playgroup, and she has already fallen sick twice in 3 weeks. So I think for half day childcare, it will be worse?
Yeah, some old folks are very stubborn, keep insisting they can do it and when they can't, also don't want to ask for help.
I know I can carry babyto bf, etc.. but I don't think I should keep bending up and down or getting on and off bed to carry baby from the cot, since it will hurt my wound. I had it from experience. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]
Thanks for all the hugs...
The only consolation is, he has not gotten to that extent yet.
She just started on the 2-hour playgroup, hence I'm hesitant to change her again. I know, just for 2-hour playgroup, and she has already fallen sick twice in 3 weeks. So I think for half day childcare, it will be worse?
Yeah, some old folks are very stubborn, keep insisting they can do it and when they can't, also don't want to ask for help.
I know I can carry babyto bf, etc.. but I don't think I should keep bending up and down or getting on and off bed to carry baby from the cot, since it will hurt my wound. I had it from experience. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]
Thanks for all the hugs...
jesstham_77
New Member
Hi Wingkei
u tried immunity booster?
my fren had bought Sambuccol for her son, whil one of the mommy here recommand noco & millenium, or u can check with your PD on kaloba.
o dear, yes, i think cc, she will get more sicky.....
i've enroled my gal for cc at 20mths , starting in may 2011, so i do quite a bit of homework beforehand and i need to be mentally prepared, also to keep some annual leave aside.
yes, c'ser has lot of movement restriction, i move about slowly too...
u'r a brave mama, jia you jia you!!
u tried immunity booster?
my fren had bought Sambuccol for her son, whil one of the mommy here recommand noco & millenium, or u can check with your PD on kaloba.
o dear, yes, i think cc, she will get more sicky.....
i've enroled my gal for cc at 20mths , starting in may 2011, so i do quite a bit of homework beforehand and i need to be mentally prepared, also to keep some annual leave aside.
yes, c'ser has lot of movement restriction, i move about slowly too...
u'r a brave mama, jia you jia you!!
hapigal
Member
Hello mummies,
saw your chats on maid.
hired 1 transfer maid juz after the news reveal the salary hike of indo maid.
Hopefully,(cross my finger),i wont met with silver situation.
I got no choice but to hire a maid as my mum is helping out to look after my son (coming 3 mths soon)after i return to work next mth as well as care for my niece who is 5 yrs old. Intially didnt wan to get a maid,but coping with 2,my mum seems to be veri exhuasted.
Wanted to be a sahm,but finacially,its diffuclt.
Infant care is not cheap,so is nanny. But thankfully,there is my mum to superviser. And i m tinking sld i install camera as well for double protection ( extra pair of eyes to supervise the maid) of my bb.
saw your chats on maid.
hired 1 transfer maid juz after the news reveal the salary hike of indo maid.
Hopefully,(cross my finger),i wont met with silver situation.
I got no choice but to hire a maid as my mum is helping out to look after my son (coming 3 mths soon)after i return to work next mth as well as care for my niece who is 5 yrs old. Intially didnt wan to get a maid,but coping with 2,my mum seems to be veri exhuasted.
Wanted to be a sahm,but finacially,its diffuclt.
Infant care is not cheap,so is nanny. But thankfully,there is my mum to superviser. And i m tinking sld i install camera as well for double protection ( extra pair of eyes to supervise the maid) of my bb.
Hi Wingkei,
has ur situations improved? i'm expecting my no3, and have 2 young children as well (Aged 2 and 4) but we insisted to having a maid as i need to work and MIL cant cope with 2 as she is already 60yrs old. i cant imagine my MIL handling both, i think either MIL or my kids will go into depression!!
how old is ur MIL? my hubby and i dont earn much but we spend less on ourselves by catering to my family.. my hubby has to OT almost every night to sustain this family expenses... lay down ur fixed monthly commitment, is there anyway the both of u can save and hire a maid. just hire for 2 yrs, than the kids should be big enough le.. hmm, as a man, he shouldn't be pushing all the chores to u, especially u're heavily pregnant now. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] is there anyway we can help?
ask ur MIL to 'soft talk' to him? MIL is a woman too, she should know how tiring to handle a newborn with a toddler, and still have to do housework..
getting a maid sure will ease most of ur burden, God has given me a helper that has put my mind at ease. i heard of many ill stories, but my maid was a blessing, so i guess.. its a 'heng' or 'sway' kind of issue. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] expecing another Indo maid after CNY.. crossing my fingers!
has ur situations improved? i'm expecting my no3, and have 2 young children as well (Aged 2 and 4) but we insisted to having a maid as i need to work and MIL cant cope with 2 as she is already 60yrs old. i cant imagine my MIL handling both, i think either MIL or my kids will go into depression!!
how old is ur MIL? my hubby and i dont earn much but we spend less on ourselves by catering to my family.. my hubby has to OT almost every night to sustain this family expenses... lay down ur fixed monthly commitment, is there anyway the both of u can save and hire a maid. just hire for 2 yrs, than the kids should be big enough le.. hmm, as a man, he shouldn't be pushing all the chores to u, especially u're heavily pregnant now. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] is there anyway we can help?
ask ur MIL to 'soft talk' to him? MIL is a woman too, she should know how tiring to handle a newborn with a toddler, and still have to do housework..
getting a maid sure will ease most of ur burden, God has given me a helper that has put my mind at ease. i heard of many ill stories, but my maid was a blessing, so i guess.. its a 'heng' or 'sway' kind of issue. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] expecing another Indo maid after CNY.. crossing my fingers!
Hi Wingkei,
Like CloudPoem mentioned, some maids are good. If u really wanna consider a maid, ask around see any good maid to transfer, at least you can check with the previous employer about the attitude of the maid. And u can do the transfer procedure online to save agency fee!
My no.2 is due in Apr. Me too was considering between maid & childcare for my 2YO. I chose childcare because at least my son has a proper place for learning, social & to be independent. Though sickness is expected but take it as a stage that he has to go thru to make him stronger.
If possible, get a CL to help out during yr confinement. Don't over-stressed yourself.
Your bb due soon right? Pls take good care of yourself.
God bless.
Like CloudPoem mentioned, some maids are good. If u really wanna consider a maid, ask around see any good maid to transfer, at least you can check with the previous employer about the attitude of the maid. And u can do the transfer procedure online to save agency fee!
My no.2 is due in Apr. Me too was considering between maid & childcare for my 2YO. I chose childcare because at least my son has a proper place for learning, social & to be independent. Though sickness is expected but take it as a stage that he has to go thru to make him stronger.
If possible, get a CL to help out during yr confinement. Don't over-stressed yourself.
Your bb due soon right? Pls take good care of yourself.
God bless.
crystal_cloud
Member
Dear Anne,
thank you for your great advice on feeding time!
you are really fortunate to be able to train your baby to sleep through the night and im very inclined to try your method!!!
i googled ezzo parenting and found that it is a foreign website.how you managed to attend the course?
thank you for your great advice on feeding time!
you are really fortunate to be able to train your baby to sleep through the night and im very inclined to try your method!!!
i googled ezzo parenting and found that it is a foreign website.how you managed to attend the course?
crystal_cloud
Member
sorry im a new mummy,
Anne,
how did you wake up the baby when 3 hrs intervals is up?
wont the baby cry? since they are sound asleep?!!!
Anne,
how did you wake up the baby when 3 hrs intervals is up?
wont the baby cry? since they are sound asleep?!!!
Hi Crystal,
When it's time to feed, I gently touch him, stroke his back a while then pick him up. My son hardly cry, when he did, he will stop crying once the feeding start. But most of the time baby will still be very sleepy, so sometimes i feed him while he still half asleep. Oh....if u see your baby sleep very soundly then u may let him/her sleep fr another 30mins then pick him up. So basically it's flexible btw 2.5 - 3.5 hrs interval.
I attended the parenting class in Punggol, there's this couple having the class at their home. They based on Ezzo Parenting, books & video, includes new born to toddler. I think all parents attended managed to successfully trained their baby to sleep thru from 8 - 10wks. I was skeptical at first but it really works!
Hope it works well for your baby too!
God bless.
When it's time to feed, I gently touch him, stroke his back a while then pick him up. My son hardly cry, when he did, he will stop crying once the feeding start. But most of the time baby will still be very sleepy, so sometimes i feed him while he still half asleep. Oh....if u see your baby sleep very soundly then u may let him/her sleep fr another 30mins then pick him up. So basically it's flexible btw 2.5 - 3.5 hrs interval.
I attended the parenting class in Punggol, there's this couple having the class at their home. They based on Ezzo Parenting, books & video, includes new born to toddler. I think all parents attended managed to successfully trained their baby to sleep thru from 8 - 10wks. I was skeptical at first but it really works!
Hope it works well for your baby too!
God bless.
crystal_cloud
Member
Hihi anne,
thanks for sharing.
yesterday i googled ezzo parenting and found some links and articles on babies not getting enough nurtriants and starving etc? seems like got positive and negative sides of it.
do you know where to register?
i google and found all ezzo foreign page
thanks for your wonderful tips! i have copied down the paragraph for reference!!
thanks for sharing.
yesterday i googled ezzo parenting and found some links and articles on babies not getting enough nurtriants and starving etc? seems like got positive and negative sides of it.
do you know where to register?
i google and found all ezzo foreign page
thanks for your wonderful tips! i have copied down the paragraph for reference!!
Hi Crystal,
You are right, some are not agreeing with Ezzo parenting.
But i don't think lacking of nutrients is true, my boy grow very well & healthy from birth till now.
Most importantly it's the decision of you & your husband, share & talk to him about it.
Not sure if the couple still conducting the parenting class, I'm still waiting for their reply.
They don't advertise nor having website, all attendees are thru recommendation.
This young couple have 3 kids & all of them are very happy & independent.
I will update you again once i get their reply.
cheers!
You are right, some are not agreeing with Ezzo parenting.
But i don't think lacking of nutrients is true, my boy grow very well & healthy from birth till now.
Most importantly it's the decision of you & your husband, share & talk to him about it.
Not sure if the couple still conducting the parenting class, I'm still waiting for their reply.
They don't advertise nor having website, all attendees are thru recommendation.
This young couple have 3 kids & all of them are very happy & independent.
I will update you again once i get their reply.
cheers!
crystal_cloud
Member
dear anne
thanks thanks !!
you can pm me or reply here once you have info [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
quite keen in this
thanks thanks !!
you can pm me or reply here once you have info [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
quite keen in this
snowwhite80
Member
I am very envy that all of u have very supporting mil to help.my mil is helping us to look after my 2 yr old boy n 5 yr old gal n we even employ a maid to help out on her household chores.prob comes when we employ the first maid. No peace since the first day I have maid. All maids can't tahan my mil teachings n sayings...n wanna quit. Every three months I am inside agency choosing n selecting a maid... N months n months of waiting n topping up loan after loan. The previous one steal n ran away... N current one a philipino keep enduring mil unreasonable sayings n nagging... Haha..
Be thankful that your have supporting relatives...to help out...
Now in a dilemma whether to quit my job or not...
Anyone have same experience as me??? I think none...
Take care frends....
Be thankful that your have supporting relatives...to help out...
Now in a dilemma whether to quit my job or not...
Anyone have same experience as me??? I think none...
Take care frends....
Crystal:
Really sorry for my late response. I've Pm you : )
SnowWhite80:
I understand your situation. Though my mil offer to babysit for me, but i know surely problems will arise, so i choose to do it myself. And most importantly, i can teach & nurture my child in my way.
Though financially abit tough for us but we still think this is the best option, at the same time try to save as much as we can. Live a simple yet happy life.
You can try to work from home if u decide to look after your 2 kids.
Another option is to get a babysitter instead of mil. Just tell her that you don't wish to tire her, and thank her for the time she babysit your kids. In that case i think u can do without a maid & pay the babysitter instead.
cheer up & always look at the bright side!
Really sorry for my late response. I've Pm you : )
SnowWhite80:
I understand your situation. Though my mil offer to babysit for me, but i know surely problems will arise, so i choose to do it myself. And most importantly, i can teach & nurture my child in my way.
Though financially abit tough for us but we still think this is the best option, at the same time try to save as much as we can. Live a simple yet happy life.
You can try to work from home if u decide to look after your 2 kids.
Another option is to get a babysitter instead of mil. Just tell her that you don't wish to tire her, and thank her for the time she babysit your kids. In that case i think u can do without a maid & pay the babysitter instead.
cheer up & always look at the bright side!
xenophilia
New Member
I wish some minister will read the forums to find out our problems & concerns...
I'm a new mom - baby just 9 days old. I initally had my mom agree to help with my confinement (only a few hours a day) to help bathe the baby, maybe take care awhile so i can sleep. But last minute decided to go with a confinement nanny.
Everyday now, I'm stressed out contemplating if I should get a domestic helper. Because if not, seriously HOW TO GO BACK TO WORK? I wish I can carry baby with me and work but I know that is simply not possible. But at the same time, to leave the baby alone with my helper? I'm not too incline to that option either.
Perhaps, during the early stages, can get Mother or MIL to be with baby & maid full day -> to train up the maid too? Until a certain stage where you feel you can trust the maid or when baby is oldeR?
@SnowWhite80 : Lucky your MIL offered loh, my MIL run far far away.
Personally I find a domestic helper better then a nanny. They cost about the same... and the domestic helper does more?
I'm a new mom - baby just 9 days old. I initally had my mom agree to help with my confinement (only a few hours a day) to help bathe the baby, maybe take care awhile so i can sleep. But last minute decided to go with a confinement nanny.
Everyday now, I'm stressed out contemplating if I should get a domestic helper. Because if not, seriously HOW TO GO BACK TO WORK? I wish I can carry baby with me and work but I know that is simply not possible. But at the same time, to leave the baby alone with my helper? I'm not too incline to that option either.
Perhaps, during the early stages, can get Mother or MIL to be with baby & maid full day -> to train up the maid too? Until a certain stage where you feel you can trust the maid or when baby is oldeR?
@SnowWhite80 : Lucky your MIL offered loh, my MIL run far far away.
Personally I find a domestic helper better then a nanny. They cost about the same... and the domestic helper does more?
Anne & Crystal
Hi, I am keen to know more about ezzo parenting too. May I know how to register or get the book locally from that couple who offered the course? Is there any contact no?
Could you pls PM me. If it's not possible to do so thru PM than can I have your email add? I will correspond thru there.
I am currently reading a few books on parenting but find it rather confusing. It's such a blessing for you to train your BB on routine. I have so many questions need to be answered.
Hope to hear from you soon!!!
Hi, I am keen to know more about ezzo parenting too. May I know how to register or get the book locally from that couple who offered the course? Is there any contact no?
Could you pls PM me. If it's not possible to do so thru PM than can I have your email add? I will correspond thru there.
I am currently reading a few books on parenting but find it rather confusing. It's such a blessing for you to train your BB on routine. I have so many questions need to be answered.
Hope to hear from you soon!!!
estherlamcl
New Member
Hi fellow mummies,
I need some advise and hoping that fellow mummies can offered some insights and suggestions. Greatly appreciate...
My maid ran back to the agency. I intend to send back this maid back home to the Philippines..but my maid agency advised me to do a transfer, they even "threatened" me that she might go to MOM to complain on us whereby she doesn't have 8 hours of sleep.
The maid intention is to stay on and transfer to other employer, but I reckon as she is very argumentative and always like to "flip" her words.
I would like to get some advice on:
1) In the event she struggles while on the way to the airport, or she struggles at the airport, what are the consequences?
2) Will the maid agency has the right to stop me from sending the maid back home or airport?
Thanks for answering...hope I can some suggestions.
Regards,
Mdm Lam
I need some advise and hoping that fellow mummies can offered some insights and suggestions. Greatly appreciate...
My maid ran back to the agency. I intend to send back this maid back home to the Philippines..but my maid agency advised me to do a transfer, they even "threatened" me that she might go to MOM to complain on us whereby she doesn't have 8 hours of sleep.
The maid intention is to stay on and transfer to other employer, but I reckon as she is very argumentative and always like to "flip" her words.
I would like to get some advice on:
1) In the event she struggles while on the way to the airport, or she struggles at the airport, what are the consequences?
2) Will the maid agency has the right to stop me from sending the maid back home or airport?
Thanks for answering...hope I can some suggestions.
Regards,
Mdm Lam
Hi Mummies, does anyone here had given their maid a daily scheduled that include taking care of baby? if have care to share? She can't seem to manage her time. her piority is to take care of baby. but she seem to be forever busy with my house housework. it takes her hald a day to wash a few of baby clothes, wash toilet and mop floor. I dun want her to scrub my toilet everyday. just scrub once a week. but she dun seem to understand. I kinda of regret taking her in. whenever the baby cry, she just continue to be busy with what she's doing. i'm going back to work. she had came to my place for 2 weeks plus. she had not be on her own to handle the housework plus taking care of my baby. already taught her how to feed and bath baby. I'm going back to work in july. I'm thinking if i shld sent her back to agent and engage a nanny instead. house work can always engage pt maid. i'm rather depressed and worried no one to take care of my baby.
happyface1
Member
Hi Jenze,
can share what is the outcome of your maid ? did you change and did you sent your baby to nanny?
Concern and want to share.
can share what is the outcome of your maid ? did you change and did you sent your baby to nanny?
Concern and want to share.
celinecatherine
New Member
Hello mummies, I'm looking for a good Filipno maid who can help take care of my 5 years old and new born baby. She can cook simple Chines food and do housework. The most important she has experience to take care of children (toddler/new born). Willing to wait till Dec 11 if she's good. Please email me if you have a good maid to transfer. My email is [email protected]. Thanks.