Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

suzie,
You need to tell the maid that this is not acceptable. Then take note of how many times she made the same mistake and inform her every time. If she still does not change, then it is time for you to change the maid. There is no need to tolerate this type of maid.

I think many maids know that they can change employers very easily. So if the maid doesn't like to work for you, she will purposely make all those mistakes so that you will send her back. There is nothing much we can do if the maid is like this. She is testing your patience.

Little Fly,
My current maid is very good with kids. She is also quite good with cooking and she can keep the house clean. So I know there are very good and dedicated maids out there, your cousin's maids are probably one of them. However, there are also many FTWMs who keep 2 eyes close to whatever their maids do.
 


Tamarind,
If she is making mistakes for a purpose (eg don't want to work), then I can understand. The thing is she is genuinely blind and death to all the mistakes. At the end of the day, she will apologise profusely and asked not to be sent away. Told her, if she cannot help me, then I have no choice. Anyway, I have already chosen a new maid. Just to vent...

By the way, how and when should I inform her that I am sending her back to agent ? If she cry how ?
 
Gemini, Little Fly,

Seem like all 3 of us in the same boat. Mine one no need to look after bb at all as I don't trust her.
Wish me luck, am going to send her back. Not going to let her know until that very day.
 
suzie,

I understand your frustration as i also face same problem with my maid. Noted some dirty stains on floor but i kept quiet as i want to monitor her. After 2 weeks (everyday i check the same spot), finally told her to mop properly as stain had been there for 2 weeks so it just showed that she didn't mop properly. She got the cheek to tell me that those cannot come out one. I made her clean it on the spot and she just kept quiet when the dirt just came off effortlessly.
 
lostinthots,
yah lor...if no time to do, then OK, acceptable. There was also once I saw her cleaning my table top. After she cleaned, I went near and saw some stains. I used my finger (yes FINGER) and go through it, it came off. If I can just clean using finger, how come she can not clean with a proper cloth, with detergent some more ?
 
suzie,
I think she will most likely cry. You can check with your agency, see if they can send someone down to bring her away. It is not safe to inform the maid early, especially if she is not willing to go. I only give one hour notice.

One maid agency taught me this method. Bring the maid out, tell her you are going shopping with her, then drop her at the maid agency. Then go home and pack her stuff. But I have never tried out this method.


Hi all,
I have added new maids and their employer's comments in my blog.

Check this out before hiring new maids. Refresh the page.
http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/
 
Tamarind, thanks for sharing updates on your blog.

I think my maid is under those 'grey' areas - no compelling reason to send her away yet she is not the type who is competent in all 3 areas (care of bb, cook, housework).

Just told my maid she need to improve on her cooking this afternoon after I ate the most awful instant mee for lunch. My hb had to supervise her cooking each meal when we eat in while I 'entertain' my bb.

For housework, seems like their standard of hygiene is different from ours. lostinthots, suzie, I share your experiences. My maid lacked initiative seriously. I have to tell her to wipe/wash the dustbins when it is soiled. I have to tell her to soak the table cloths and I have to change the hand towels. All this trivial things frustrate me yet I just let it pass. Am I being too easy on my maid?
 
hi jo
is it easy to install? will there be cable all around the house?

By the way mummies
does your maid greet you in the morning? My Myanmar does not do so and she hardly addresses us sir/madam..
 
Can you all update me on myanmar maids? Generally, I don't hear good comments, and I really hesitant to take if she cannot speak malay or english or mandarin.
 
my myanmar maid will greet us in the morning including my baby.
at nite will tell me good nite mdm, and good nite sir ( if my hb is ard).

Jchew,
their eng not bad lah, esp the grad ones. But no other language hor.
 
I think generally the Myanmar maids are more "straighforward" type. They have to be told of what you want them to do, behave, etc especially if they have not worked as maid before. It can be both good and bad..Good in the sense that they are not so "cunning" and bad in the sense that they are slower and even more stupid than some of the Indon maids...to the extend of vomitting blood
sad.gif
 
kristen,
the part abt slow, i agree with you...vomit blood, not yet lah. Maybe for my mum lo, cos she cannot communicate with her..so me gonna change to back to indo.sigh. back to the lucky draw again!
 
JChew,

My myanmar maid is a grad, can speak english & mandarin. She is a fast worker & has initiative. She is a better worker compared to my prev indo maid.
 
JChew,

So far I have not encountered any prob with my maid so cant comment on their after sales service. I paid $388 for agency fees.
 
Little fly,

No I'm not. Me FTWM, so need a maid to help my mum out as my mum cannot carry my gal.

I'm very stress out with this maid issue
sad.gif
 
Gemini19 - I can imagine ur sress level. My tipping point is - if she failed in taking gd care of my bb or ran out of patience with her incompetencies.

I have patience with new staff or people who takes time to learn but I have no patience for sheer laziness. Found my maid cutting corners in housework again. I showed it to her and told her off. Then my boy was monkeying in the background and I raised my voice at him (ok, he's innocent, just wrong place, wrong time). Then she realized i was really pissed off this time, not another friendly reminders which she used to get.

A while later, she broke down crying and started apologizing. I told her matter of factly to stop crying and show me her best and show me improvement. Frankly, I'm getting tired of hearing apologies and (myself justifying for her), just show me the results.

After dinner and retiring to her room, she sobbed again. Is it not common sense to wipe the whole area? / wash the rubbish bins when it is dirty?/ ensure there is enough room temperature water for bb's milk? I felt like I am my maid's mother, got to keep nagging at her.
 
Emma, use wireless internet(no wire/cable around the house)only 1wire from camera to power socket. Can view from overseas/office if allow to go online. Come with a booklet,on how to set up.

Greeting: I will brief maid when initial reach my hse on basic manner I expect from her..include greeting,knock on the bedroom's door before enter.. some maid dont greet after teaching, and I will greet them 1st when see them in the morning(normally,maid will reply greeting)..later,slowly..I will see if maid will greet us..if not,I dont bother abt the maid but I will greet my children..cos we practise this at home with the kids.
 
Hi All

My sil just got her replacement maid , a filipino.

A 33 year old , stubborn filipino maid.Do thing her way and bad in English.

SIL ask her to bring down all the cloths and squeeze dry and include a sock...guess what was the maid reply...TOMOLO...

SIL taught her how to cook for a week and delibrately ask her to bring oyster sauce all the while...Guess what happen. After a week, sil asked her to cook and all the veg turned out black....she used black sauce instead of oyster sauce.....

Guess maid really lack a lot of basic sense....and that include my own maid. Allow my son to tear on the brand new toy when he already outgrown and claimed that the toy has already been opened...I told her off straight on her face that she is lying....in the end, she changed her statement say , say wrongly...I told her I do not accept such nonsense, think before she said, whether its wrongly or lying.....Maid are just so good in twisting her words....I was taught a good lesson by my exmaid for being so trusting in her words...
 
Hi Mummies with philip maid,

I need your advice.
My maid has finally asked to call home today and she told me she had important matter. Also she told me that she needs a thumb pad to thumb print on important documents.
Is it alright for me to check with her what important matter and documents? Am I asking too details as she already describes herself as "prisoner" in my house.

Need your advice. Do you talk to your maid like every 3mths to understand her thinkings? Am I being too strict to her, eg. not letting her to go downstairs even to buy her own things? Should I let go a bit after her being with me for 10mths?
So far for housework, as I am not so particular, she is considered good. But for childcare, she is so poor that I will look after my son myself during e wkends. But over my MIL side, she will take care of my son and do a bit of housework but as my MIL is a full time housewife, she will complain a bit about her doing the housework.
So far I can close one eye on her as her attitude/behaviour is still acceptable to us.There is once that my MIL has bought some 3-in-1 packet beverages for her to take for breakfas but she just keep the whole packet in her room. Is it wrong of her to keep it? Then I found out and I just casually ask her and she went inside her room and take out? What would be your reaction to this?

Patsy
I might need your help to read the letter again as I think she is waiting some good news from her sister. I suspect that she is enquiring employment in Canada or something.
I am trying my very best not to look at her letter which I did for the past few times when she sent to her sister but now I discovered that she is arranging some things so for a peace of mind or to get myself prepared before anything happen, can you pls translate the letter for me?
 
This is what my first maid used to do as well as her stolen goods business! I think it's quite common amongst Filos to engage in this sort of shady biz....

May 14, 2008
Maid jailed for illegal money-lending
Based at Lucky Plaza on her days off, Filipino loaned up to $300 to other maids
By Khushwant Singh
A MAID who moonlighted as a loan shark was jailed for a year and eight months by a district court yesterday.
Rebecca Andicoy Alcalde, 28, a Filipino, operated only on Sundays, her day off, dishing out loans of up to $300 to other maids, according to prosecutors.

Based mostly at Lucky Plaza shopping centre in Orchard Road, Alcalde would charge a 20 per cent interest rate for loans to cash-strapped foreign workers. She teamed up with a Singaporean, Lim Meng Inn, who is now on the run.

The court heard that Alcalde hatched the plan in 2005. She noticed that many Filipinos were borrowing money from loan sharks or paying off their debts at Lucky Plaza.

She approached a friend, who used to be a moneylender, and learnt how to keep track of debts and payments.

Without her employer's knowledge, she went into business with $5,000 of her savings.

Her friends would recommend her to other Filipino maids who had financial difficulties, and business picked up.

In March last year, Alcalde became wary as police were stepping up operations against illegal moneylenders at Lucky Plaza.

She decided to go behind the scenes and recruited 47-year-old Lim as her runner.

Alcalde, who was known as 'Kim' to her customers, would station herself on the sixth floor of Lucky Plaza to collect payments. She got Lim, who was known as 'Ivan', to do the riskier task of making the loans.

However, this did not save her when police raided Lucky Plaza on March 30. She was arrested after being found with loan slips and a photocopy of someone else's work permit.

Alcalde pleaded guilty to 11 charges of illegal moneylending, with 21 similar charges taken into consideration by the judge in deciding the sentence.

Asking for a short sentence, her lawyer, Mr Leonard Loo, said that Alcalde had not used 'strong-arm tactics' to recover payments.

He added that she has been the sole breadwinner for her parents and four siblings since she was 18 years old and had gone into moneylending to help them.

Alcalde, who has been in remand since her arrest, blinked away tears as she was led off to jail. The slim, 1.6m-tall maid could have been jailed for up to two years on each charge.
 
My ex-Phil maid: they like to borrow/lend money from/to another maid.

My Indo maid: don't know how to manage money, end up paying loans,transfer fees..not much money left.
 
The funniest thing about the above article is that the maid employed a Singaporean as her runner! Haha!

I mean, the maid is smart since she was getting 20% interest on her short term loans....that's 20% per month. Lend $100 and wahlah, one month later $120! That's a much better return than what I'm getting on my funds!

But too bad...she got caught. Seeee....I suppose the poor employer now has to look for alternative help since his maid is behind bars!
 
Sadwoman - I did allow my maid to go out to nearby shops to buy her personal stuff. Reason being cos we don't do regular grocery shopping. If your maid already has chance to do grocery shopping with you to buy her personal items, I don't see the need unless all she wants is some 'time off' outside your household. Does she gets a day off per month after 6mths?

Tamarind and mummies with experience of sending a maid away, some questions here:
- what if she makes a scene, like start crying very loudly, begging and etc?
- I opened a joint POSB savings account for my maid, what if she refused to cancel it? I think the bank requires both parties to be present for cancellation...
- do we check her luggages ?
 
Mummies, my maid told me that, unless she do criminal, or she still can work in S'pore.. so now asking for transfer, dont want to go back Jakarta.. die die want me to send her to agent.. even if cancel her work permit, she dont mind wait in Batam for new employer.. I dont want to spend extra money,pay her levy.. but also afraid she create scene.. really hard to handle her.. how?
 
Jo,
You won't be able to get your new maid until your old one is transferred (unless you qualify and apply under 2nd maid). I just don't think your maid will find an employer that fast due to her face full of pus and pimples and she is very small. If I saw her I would immediately cross her off my list.

Based on this alone, I would repatriate her. Just buy cheap one-way ticket, cancel on-line and bring her to the airport.

If she wants to come back to SGP and look for a job then that's fine. She can take her own sweet time.

How is her attitude now? Better?
 
Liana, no improvement..still yaya papa ya..
this morning,my boy need to brush teeth,clean up, she put wet clothes on basin..my boy told her..she reply, bb cried, I no time to hang clothes..actually bb still sleeping plus in the morning.. I know she purposely create troubles..

I want to do that too, send back but now, she already insist just send her back to agent..I cant imagine on the day,send her home..very stress.. her type dare to do anything..she can bang her head on wall before..

I sort of cant trust the agent..I already apply on replacement for new maid, must cancel hers..although I can have 2maids..

1) She transfer by next week
2) Cancel permit,send to agent,agent send her straight to Batam (on the same day)
3) Cancel permit,send to agent,agent send to airport..to Jakarta (on the same day)
 
Ops, I mean 6 plus am..basin(the one in bathroom, water run on it when brush teeth, wash face...).

When I asked her question..she didnt answer me..but tell me other thing...especially she know her mistake..eg. Yesterday, bb cry, franky, cant sleep at 11plus pm.. I asked her, bb only eat since 4pm and do you give her milk? I suspect bb hungry(7hours from previous meal,should give milk at 8pm)so crying,hunger n cant sleep..

She can answer me, give her honey water.. just now bb already angry.. What is this,answer to my question?? Should be yes or no..think she didnt give milk.. I was so angry and just tolerate..
 
Jo, I won't be able to tolerate such maid. And to think that she let my baby goes HUNGRY!!! I will definitely send her off IMMEDIATELY.

Besides, why not you get your agent to pick her up and send her to the airport themselves. Most agent does that, just pay a minimal sum like $50. Just tell agent, you cancel work permit already, pass them the air ticket, passport and work permit (DO NOT GIVE TO MAID). Agent also cannot do anything.

Cause when you cancel work permit yourself, you have to enter the flight no., date and time of the flight to get the special pass. All these can do online without a single costs. When all these has been done, there is nothing else the agent can do.
 
JChew, That was my plan.. but maid dont want to go back.. and dont know can trust this agent..what if they dont send her back?.. before maid transfer to me..her previous employer actually already cancelled her permit..but still have 7days(can stay in S'pore)..the agent transfer to me by renew her permit with previous employer then do transfer.. so the previous employer continue to pay the levy..

Btw, mummies that send your maid to airport, do you pay their salary in airport? Still need the maid's signature that she receive her salary,incase she take it but said I didnt pay her..
 
Jo,
I don't want to sound un-humanitarian but honestly, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR MAID WANTS. Just do what you think is best and what is best for your family. If that means buying a ticket and sending her back then I suggest you get your hubby to send her straight to the airport. I would not trust the agent at all. I would not be keen on letting her transfer but I would be ok if she decided to come back. By that time you would already have your new maid.
 
Liana, the problem is..she is very stubborn..if she dont want to go back..her face auto black and worry she do something that is not pleasant..
 
Jo, once you cancel the work permit with the flight details, you arrange for the agent to pick up on the day she is suppose to leave singapore, they can't do anything but to send her off to the airport.

Another way is, if you are getting maid from another agency, you can get them to help you also. I've tried it before and they do take in such service.

I send my previous ex-phil maid to airport and pass her everything before she enter the custom. But my this maid is of very good nature, so even though she din finish her contract, etc, I did not make her sign for anything. And yes, you only pass them their passport with the special pass, whatever cash, etc only before she enter the custom. And make sure she goes through the custom before you leave.
 
May 15, 2008
Maids protected but think of employers too
EMPLOYERS like me worry when we read reports of employers being saddled with their maids' huge medical bills. The Ministry of Manpower seems to have overlooked the rights and interests of employers.
Let me share two personal experiences.

About a year ago, I had to repatriate my maid because she was caught stealing money in our home. I had to pay for her airfare home as that was the law.

I could have saved on the repatriation if I had simply transferred her to another employer but I could not foist the problem on an unsuspecting employer.

Recently, I employed a new maid. She was with me for less than three weeks when she had to undergo an emergency operation to remove an ovarian cyst. I had to foot her entire medical bill as the ministry's ruling makes employers solely responsible for all medical and hospitalisation costs incurred by their maids.

She was a total stranger, barely three weeks with us, and I had to pay more than $6,000 in medical bills.

Under normal circumstances, would the employer of any other type of worker be expected to pay severance costs if he catches the worker embezzling funds?

And how many companies will pay the full medical and hospitalisation bills of their employees if such expenses are not covered by the company's insurance?

It is the norm for employees to pay out of their own pockets for whatever is not covered by their company's insurance.

In most cases, there is also an element of co-payment.

So can the mandatory insurance policies for maids that employers must buy cover the full extent of all medical expenses incurred by them?

Also, is it fair to expect so much from and impose so much on employers of maids when the employers themselves do not get the same benefits and privileges as employees?

Maids can seek redress from the ministry. What recourse do employers have?

This is not a level playing field.

Jennifer Chan (Ms)
 
Jo.... Seems like u got a serious situation here to handle.. Do u wan me to give u my agent's number? She do personalise services.. n u may wan to contact her to help u send ur current maid bak to jarkata.. whh is wat she is gg to do for mine as well.. to her.. if a maid is bad.. juz send them bak to their county.. dun give in.. if u really do nid.. let me noe.. i will pm u her number..
 
Jo, u may need at least 2 men to escort her to airport .. i can forsee, from what you say, she will struggle throughout the journey to airport . . maybe can consider celtricia's suggestion to get somebody to help you.. don think u can do it all by yourself, too dangerous for you liao
 
hi mommies,

need some advise. maid is going back after 2.5 yrs with my household. She is very good with children & housework but has dirty mouth, so always spread rumours to my parents and IL and try to cause relationship problems.
anyway, it's two months to her return, do you check her bag after she packs or check her things as she packs or what?? cos i was thinking we have been very very lax with her for the past 2.5 yrs, she may have kept some of our things which we don't even ourselves know!!! or do we check at the agents office?
as i have to take care of my children & have no transport, it's most likely that I will ask the agent to drive her to the airport. Is that possible???

MTIA

harriet
 
harriet,
my maid just left. i was also in a dilemma whether to check the bag or not. in the end, i told her 2 days before the last day that i wanted to see her pack her bag because the agent asked me to do so to avoid misunderstanding of lost items. so i told her not to pack anything until the last day when i sit down and watch her pack.
It was good. because in the end, i don't y she told me there are some things that belong to me and my kids in a box that was in her room. She said no place to put elsewhere so put there. i suspect maybe that's what she plans to take away with her if i didn't check. actually i've some lost items at home which i think maybe she sent back with the parcels that i didn't check last time. sigh.... sometimes because of our kids, we tolerate them and give them ultimate trust, but the truth is they can never be trusted..
 
Agree with LV...without a doubt maids will take things from your home and send them back, hide them away...especially if you give them days off. It's the easiest opportunity for them to give your stuff to their friends to keep until the time comes for them to pack a box back to their country. I lost a pair of brand new earrings (gold and stones). When I opened the box it was empty, plus lots of other small items too. If you're not prepared to lock it away I suppose you can't be too surprised if it goes missing....maids are just like that.
 
hi LV & Liana,

thanks for advise. cos am very soft heart, always never mind never mind and today when I looked at her room and saw that she has kept some of my children's toys under her cupboard, I was wondering if I should confront her or just leave it. cos children have out grown those toys also....


as my maid has no off days, would it be advisable that I bring her out 'shopping' the day before she leaves to buy things? maid has mentioned she needs a handphone.

what do you think??

harriet
 
Harriet

For me, I will not be bother to bring her to shopping...once they are gone, they are very wuqin type.You will get extra angry when you discovered some of the things are missing....

To me, maids are maids, be it their work or mentality....We love to say that they are good but.....


My ex maid, took away my things, even I did packing with her.The packing should be done at the door step and leave on the spot...no waiting....
 
hi mummies here

I'm in the midst of changing my maid. Still considering whether to get a maid with kids or a maid without kids. My current one got kids and she's very homesick even though here close to a year already. I scared next one if got kids also homesick, then I will not know what to do again...

I've got a 6 mths old gal, the maid will basically stay with me at night, goes to my mum's place in the morning and back at home at night again. At my mum's place, my brother got a 3 mths old gal also, look after by my mum. So the maid needs to help my mum out as my mum cannot carry heavy things.

Is it advisable to get another filipino? New? My current is a transfer one and she got so much problems that I abit scared to get transfer one again.

Also, any one can recommend their agents that they deemed good? Think my current agent keep saying my situtation very unique, must pay maid more, not many maids willing to work for such family, I must be more hummane (I dun think I overwork the maid leh, she got at least 8 hours of sleep through the night) etc... Like this one, I thought of sending her back to filipines directly, she tells me cannot do that, must let the maid know in advance one. Cannot just terminate work permit. Is that true?

I'm paying her $380 per month now though she has no real experince (though transfer, but work less than 6 months in the previous 2 family)

Any advise as I plan to send my current one away soon.

Thanks
 
hi Chole,
sound bad, but this maid has been with us for 2. 5 yrs already. but i suspect she has been pinching coins, cos my MIL said she always pay for phone cards with ten one dollar coins even though she does not buy anything for herself with her salary
sad.gif

but no actual proof I also cannot say anything. moreover when Dh and I are around, she's really polite/full of initative/children like her. So also no heart to ask her whether she got steal our money or not.
but now the pressing thing is how to send her home in two months time with no hoo haa. Do i tell her she's going home on the day she's leaving or do I tell her way ahead of the departure date. Won't she need to bid my parents/the children good bye??

confused ;(

harriet
 


harriet,
i think i was like u. constantly afraid i would 'offend' my maid and treat her very nice even until the last day. my advise is no need to treat her that nice as to accede to her request because to them we are just stepping stones or an employer whom they want to get the most out of us. no true feelings from them. Before my maid left, i knew she love birdnest, so we went shopping one day and i bought her bottled birdnest as well as for myself. You know what she replied me, she asked me is it buy 2 get 1 free that's y i gave her? I tell you, my blood boiled when i heard it. There i am giving u the best out of my own pocket and yet she thinks i'm always giving her my unwanted or dumps. After that, we threw the idea of giving her extra $100 on the last day. initially still wanted to give her as a gift.

anyway, just to share, my maid left and the story didn't end there. she worked with a new employer because she requested to transfer quoting the reason that she's bored in my house unlike in HK and TW where life is more exciting and fun even tho there was no off days. She said Sg is just as boring as PH. ok fine i granted her her wish because i also plan to ask her to go sooner or later. So she sms few days after she transf and asked me to help her to buy air tix home because new place got more things to do. This time round, i'm not that stupid and soft hearted. I rejected her saying i no money and also i'm not her employer anymore so i'm not obligated to do it. i went to give her her things that were placed in my house and she was tearing badly upon seeing us. As much as i feel sad for her, i knew it's just consequences of her selfish act and anyway we are just hearing sides of her sad stories, i'm sure the new employer did not abuse her because they were a young couple with 3 kids. she cried and said she needed to work in another grandma's house on weekends too. very tiring for her. her life is no longer so easy like when she was working with me. when she was with me, i looked after my infant and toddler at night. she went to rest as early as 8pm. gave her 1-2 off days in a month depending on her requests.

i'm just glad that she's gone now. After going through a whole episode of getting maid, art of living with maid and handling maid and to sending them off. It's really nerve-wrecking because to offend them seem to put ourselves in greater danger. it's best not to get any FDW if one can do w/o. mummies who are struggling with maid problems, really empathize u...hope everything goes well eventually.
 
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