Advise needed: Kid cant talk!!

blurblur28

New Member
Hi,

My boy is already 24 months old and cant talk at all, cant call "papa" and "mama" but can make sounds. Any mummies who have met with similar problem??? How to deal with it??? What is the latest age the kid should talk??
 


hi,
I work with children.

You may wish to observe your child's behaviour. Does he seem to be oblivious to the surroundings? Does he seem to be lost in a world of his own? Does he respond when you talk to him?
 
He is quite active and likes to dance to music when watching barney.. also quite responsive to us and shows affections readily...
 
That's good to know..

Some children do speak up later than others but that does not mean that they are not learning when they are not speaking yet. It is best if you could start to read to him those baby's first books.
Repeat the word several times slowly pointing to the picture. You could also do that without a book by using the everyday items in your house or around you.

Children at your child's age to age 6 absorbs the most, they are at what we call the inputting stage...( it has been researched on that children up to 6 years can learn as many as 7 languages at the same time) Many parents are surprised to know that their children explode out into a fountain of vocabulary when they are ready because of the foundation.... that's the output of the foundation given to the child.

I know of a child who could not talk until he was about 4 years; parents were very worried thinking there could be something wrong with the child. They brought the child for tests when he was 3 years old recommended by their paeditrician, nothing abnormal could be found. But today the child has grown up, speaks well and tops the class.

Having said all the above, I must add that every child is different. While as parents we could do whatever we can to facilitate the development of our child's ability, it is also important to seek medical advice at the same time. It may be wise to speak to your paeditrician for further necessary actions he deems suitable at this point in time.

Hey take good care.
 
Used to train educators on instructing the different types of children. Now I counsel children, teenagers and their parents.

Also, would like to advise you to be selective of the type of TV programmes your child watches right from beginning. I remember many years back during my generation, there was a programme called Electric Company.... that in my opinion is one of the best children's educational programme. Entertaining yet educational.

Family outings can be fun and educational too. These days many parents like to push the baby pram to shop around in malls week after week. Basically it is probably to satisfy the mother's desire to shop. If you have a family car, you could explore bringing family to Botanic Garden,, have a picnic, let your kid run around in the open nature etc...
 
Hey Blurmummy, pls dun worry too much..

My cousin's son also started his first "words" when he was 28mths or so... They are saying that boys speaks later.. My niece (different parent) starts yakking when she was just over 1 yr!! You might wanna try bringing him for preschool classed when he is a bit older.. it definitely helps!! =)
 
Ya... i have already signed him up for playgroup in this coming October.. Hopefully his "condition" will improve.

Come to think of tat... so far i have not really bring him out to the "nature"...mostly indoors... nothing physical except playrounds
 
I read somewhere that exposure to playgrounds daily is good as the gross motor skills that they learn will eventually affect their overall development, so more reason to bring little one out.
 
(blurblur28)
My eldest son had the same condition as ur child.. He can only talk (more) when we send him to childcare when he's nearly 3. My nephew also same thing.. Guess different kids have different milestone.. If you're really worried, u can bring him to a speech therapist at KKH.
 
blurblur28,

Don't worry too much!
Pple say that girls are faster but my girl is pretty slow in her speech. However, started her at a church's playgroup & things have improved. Although speaking wise is still not 'there', but i'm quite surprised at her vocab. She can even say wat words comes next when we read to her..... =P
 
hi,
My son nw at 21mth, cant speak as well, i am quite worry lik u too. Cant say anything expect mum mum(eat), n smetime say hmm more (duno wat he saying, mayb is she3 mo4\what), i start reading book to him since he is 10mth old (bt n0t consistently :p), giv him educational vcd lik my baby can read/ babybumble bee/n other when he is 10mth too, start attending sat, weekend lesson since he is 9mth til nw, bt he jus not ready 4 talking. I oso duno wat 2 do... He understand well what people are saying, n i knw well he is nothing wrong, eg autism. In fact he is v v clever, able 2 fix 5-6pcs puzzle himsef when he is 14mth n etc, bt jus tis talkin prob he is having, i am quite worry if he stil cant speak when he enter nursery1, scare he cant follow up other children. Sme old women i knw say children who have short or long tongue tend 2 speak late too, i discover my son tongue is v width n big, bt n0t very pointed. Any1 heard of tis?

Anyone knw what 2 do? Does a speech therapy needed? Wil he really benefit fr speech therapy?
 
I have heard that kids who speak later, are actually smarter. Because they are absorbing during the first few years of their life. It's like.. Still Waters Run Deep. And, I'm not saying this just to make you all feel better, but it's the results of a scientific report.
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2kidsmommy, really? Kids talk later is smarter? I tot it's all old wives' myths! hahahahaa...

My gal 13mths le.... Still stuck with letter M! at 5 mths she can say mama and mum mum. till now is still the same but can say nan nan and chak ku (her version of peek-a-boo)

Then got a friend's niece, she can say apple and ball at 8 mths!!!!!!!! I faint already... N already walking. Wah sei!
 
Old wife's tale?? Nah.. I think it's true. Something like, the kids don't talk all the time, they just sit and listen and absorb, and that makes them smart. Hahaha.. But, I don't know how true is that la.

Anyways, I realise.. you have a daughter named Katie?? Me too! My daughter is Kate, but we call her Katie.
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Hahahaah! Regret putting her name KATIE in cert cuz when she's 40 still a gal's name not a lady's name! hahahhaa.. I wanted KATE!!!! Then my brother say wait my parents call her CAKE. Urgghhhhhhh!

Kate is nicer and more clever name!!
 
It's ok la. Yes, that's why I didn't want to put Katie in the cert as well. Looks like we think the same way, except now, we always call her Katie.. she's quite used to it by now. :p
 
duno if this thread is still "alive"...

my baby is now 14 mths and I think she refuses to talk, cos she could say mamamama earlier. Now she simply refuse to say legible words. She also refuse to wave goodbye or flying kiss which she used to do few months ago.

Haiz.
 
CS Mummy,

Maybe your girl is learning some else now? Research has shown that babies do things at their own pace and are not multitasker. They would concentrate on learning one thing e.g. walking and not be keen to learn other stuff e.g. talking.

My boy also went thru the phase of "last time I wave good bye but now I dont want to". But after while, when he started to wave goodbye again, he showed that he did it with understanding and without anyone prompting. He also called out that person he intended to wave to e.g. "bye bye auntie".

SOmetimes I think when they first started doing something (e.g. when we first teach them waving good bye), they did it to please us or as a exploration (hey, I can wave my arm!!!). But after a while, they realise there is a meaning attached to it (e.g. waving good bye means we are parting soon). I think this is the time when they stop doing what they used to obey. WHen they finally understand the whole meaning of it, they would perform again. This time, with understanding and a meaning attached to the action
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Hi Samantha,

Not really leh. She has already started walking but there doesnt seem to be anything else she is learning
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CS Mummy

Fret not. It's normal for a child to "back-step" a little before moving on again. Just continue "teaching" and communicating with her. Feed her with info and she'll absorb. One day you'll realise that she did pick up on the things.
 
Thanks for all your "consolations"
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My fren's baby before 12 months already could say words like "ball"... so i guess mine is a little slow to speak tho she's fast to walk.. pple say those who walk early will speak later, duno if this is true?
 
CS Mummy,

I don’t agree with that - those who walk early will speak later. At least this didn’t happen on my son. My child started walking at 9 months and is now able to jump (with both legs together) and run (he’s 20mths now). He started verbalizing simple words like ball, papa (that’s his first word), mummy etc by 1 year old. I think sometimes a kid doesn’t talk, not because he can’t talk but because he doesn’t want to talk for some reason. We noted on our boy – before he verbalise a new word, he would quietly practice many many times till he thinks he got the pronunciation correct.

Some people (parents and doctors) said (even books wrote!) delayed oral development (e.g. quite late then start solid or quite late then grow teeth) is a sign of delayed speech development. My child has both – he started semi solid only at 6 mths old and didn’t really progress much until around 10mths. Other kids of the same age already eating more ‘advanced’ food but he is still on plain rice cereal. He was also toothless till 12mths old. But this bo gay talked fast!
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We are not consoling u, just sharing our experience. Do you speak to your kid a lot? Encourage 2 way conversation will be helpful to get her to speak faster.
 
Hi Samantha

Thanks for sharing your experience. Hmm.. maybe my girl is like your boy? Recently she has started saying papa and v accurately. Maybe she was practicising her pronunciation? But she doesn’t say the words v often though, and she surely doesn’t say the words when we ask her to ! Obstinacy? :p

I started my girl on semi solids at 6 mths, and she already has 6 or 8 teeth by 1 yr old leh.. So doesn’t seem like the delayed oral development you described.

BUT, Samantha, like what you mentioned earlier, she is now starting to understand the Bye Bye and Flying kiss concept and uses them appropriately!
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My maid takes care of her in the day and she does talk to my baby from what I observed. When I reach home in the evening I also try to talk to her and also read to her.. but seems that her speech development is still not v advanced :p Or is she just lazy ?
 
CS Mummy,

Hello! Glad u read my post!
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Kids have their own mind and they do things at their own speed. But a conducive environment works wonder. In cc, there's a lot of interaction between kids and teachers. At home, we talk a lot to Junior too - english, mandarin, dialect, singlish (oops).

The environment has got to be consistent. If your maid is quiet with your kid and when u come home, u started talkign non-stop, your girl may have this idea - talk when mummy is around. It's not consistent.

I personally dont think reading 'helps talking'. Chatting helps talking. Chat with your girl - look at her and ask her.

Another reason why she's 'not talking' may be due to her confidence/self esteem level? Like my boy, he always practise the word/phrase until he thinks he has got it before he will actually say it aloud. That was a sign of lack of confidence ba?

We dont laugh at him or try to correct him. We simply take it as he has said it correctly and carry on with the conservation. Now, he's a confident 'speaker' who will accept people's correction (e.g. it's not chi dan, it's ji dan") with no hint of paiseh. When corrected, he would simply repeat after that person until he gets it right.

young children generally like to be spoken to. They are more sensitive than we would ever think of them. When we answer our boy, we look at him and give him a good reply even if he's just pointing out the blue car to us. The key is to make him feel that we value his point of view. If we keep brushing him off or ignore him totally, I am sure he will clam up very soon. it's like playing ping pong, two parties got to keep it going. But initially it will be one sided la. When she has enough vocab, she will probably go on and on and on (like my son now.....*roll eye*).

I hope we have given u some pointers about encouraging your princess to talk
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Samantha,

Hee.. sorry I wasn’t active on the thread so read it rather late :p Glad that you came back
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My girl doesn’t really like to chat I find… it seems like a serious problem
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When I look at her and ask her questions she will look away and look for something interesting to play with.. Haiz.. Mummy is not interesting enough? :p Cannot capture her attention leh.

Anyway, what do you chat about with your boy? I always ask the same questions, have you been a good girl, did you miss mummy, what did you do today and sometimes Do you want banana (or any fruit)… she doesn’t really respond to my questions ! Earlier she used to nod or shake her head but now she just refuses to respond! Sob…

I read in books that when babies start talking we shouldn’t correct their pronunciation. So at what stage did your boy start to accept pple’s correction? My sister’s boy is very shy about his pronunciation and cannot accept pple’s correction.
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BTW how old is your boy ?
 
Oh, and do you think putting her in cc early helps? I was talking to my neighbour last night and she shared with me that she regretted putting her girl in cc too early, cos her girl caught bronchitis at the airconditioned cc
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I am considering putting my girl in cc when she turns 18 months in Feb next yr.
 
hmmm.... it looks like your girl doesn't like to chat because she has not been chatted to enough. As in, she has not been spoken to often enough such that she doesnt know the joy of chatting. It's not the person (i.e. mummy not interesting), i think. Probably, need to start off by chatting about whatever she's interested with. U mentioned when you spoke to her, she would turn to other stuff very soon. Ok lor, then continue talking but talk about her toy.

We talk about everything and anything and initially we dont ask qns. It's like comprehension we used to have in school? Give the passage first, then ask qn. So young kids need to be fed with information first. You girl is at this stage, i think. You see ah, if they have hardly any word in they mind, how to answer your qn?

Tell her anything. E.g. buy a new toy for her. Dont just give her the toy. Make it like a magic show, bring one piece at a time and describe it - colour, shape, size (big or small) etc. The idea is to give her much information to build her vocab bank.

On car ride, point out the different types of vehicles and their colours, people on the road and the buildings. Use simple descriptions e.g. the big red van, the uncles (foreign workers)on the lorry, the jie jie and her pink bag etc.

Let her see you and hubby talk (or whoever also can). My hubby and I talk a lot - about work, life, our family, Junior, the weather, whatever. And we always keep our child close by (for obvious reason la - baby sit him lor). He doesn't understand many things of cos but keep him involved by saying things like,"hor, boy, hor?" to 'trick' him into thinking he's involved in the converstation too.

My boy just turn 21months. He began accepting just a few months ago, around aug09. That's about 6mths after he started talking.

I think cc or not is not the most impt thing. It's the environment. Like learning to walk - if everyday put the kid on walker, it's not realistic to expect the kid to learn walking fast. But if no walker at all, but always got people encourage the kid by holding her hands and help her to walk, she would surely learn walking faster than a walker kid.

The health issue that comes along with cc is boh pian wan... I have no choice but to send my kid to cc. But he has a near fatal episode too. Long story cut short - Just 3 days after we sent him to IFC, he fell very sick. Three weeks later and 4 visits to 2 PD, even sicker. Finally, diagnosed he had contracted a killer skin disease which infected his nose (causing him to have flu like symptoms). The doc said if we had sent him in another week later, Junior would have probably died.

But really, such scary episode doesn't happen to all kids. As parents we have to take responsibility and not to just take one doctor's view. All those serious illnesses like asthma and bronchitis dont happen over night. It's thru continuous stretches of time and neglect (after illness must do more to nurse the little ones back to health. Just medication alone, only cure the sickness but we gotta take care of the 'damage' done by the sickness).
 
sorry, haven't finished then type post liao... :p

It's thru continuous stretches of time and neglect (after illness must do more to nurse the little ones back to health. Just medication alone, only cure the sickness but we gotta take care of the 'damage' done by the sickness) that the little things bloom into big things.
 
Hahaha thanks for your post. V cute leh you.

I am inspired by you. These few days I went home and tried to talk to my baby. Hee.. now she looks at me for few seconds more before moving to other stuff. Wahahaa.. ok keep you posted
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So many horror stories abt cc leh… how old was your boy when he went there? Wats IFC?

Your boy is 6 mths older than my girl
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Great! I inspired someone!
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Hope to hear good news about your little girl's speech development from you soon.

Dont be discouraged ok? Initially it would feel worse than talking to wall (because u know wall wont answer u mah) but trust me, it will improve. It will start with her looking at you more and longer. Than she will try to catch your attention (e.g. by bringing one piece of toy to your face or place her whole face in front of your face, less than 5cm away and then when u look at her, she will point something to you). When she's at the 'catch your attention' stage, see what she's trying to tell u. Most of the time, she's trying to ask u 'what's that'. So you just play along, pick up that toy carrot and start talking about the carrot - orange, fat, big...etc.

Then come the 'mouthing' part where she would open and shut her mouth like she's pronouncing the word. Then come trying out to say the word.

The above was the stages that my boy went thru. Your girl may or may not be the same like my boy's development, but I tot just to give u a guide lor. All thru the stages, keep talking. When your little girl's vocab bank has enough words, she will start to be more interested in conversation.

IFC = infant care centre. Junior went to IFC since he's 2.5months old.
 
Yup I tink she’s developing into what you say. She does bring books to me so I thought she wants me to read to her.. but attention span is short ;p

No wonder your boy can speak so confidently. U r a good teacher !

Now already 15 months but she only say papa n mama and not all the time :p

K I will keep talking to her and keep you posted ! Thanks
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er... I also mortal lah. But my boy older mah, so I walk thru the same phases earlier than u and hence, able to share my experience
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Yes, keep me posted ya?
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morning! last nite it just occurred to me that she is so slow in speaking could be becos we talk to her in both english & mandarin?? Could she be confused or maybe picking up 2 languages at the same time is difficult?
 
Don think so. My boy is conversant in english, mandarin and bits of japanese, malay and hokkein...

I use to think that way too when my boy was just a few months old, but it's about him recognising his name. We call him one pattern, ifc call him another pattern, family and friends call him yet another name.

I read somewhere that babies take about 6 mths to recognise their name and respond when their name is called e.g. turn and look at that person.

So I tot, oh ok-even just english and mandarin, maybe he would take 1 yr to recognise both names? But he showed he recognised his name in 4 mths - and that's 3 names (english name, chinese name called by chinese teachers and our parents and a nickname by hubby and me).
 
Hi Cs mummy,

studies have shown that kids exposed to multiple languages at the same time MAY speak later as their brains are absorbing the structure, sounds etc of each language. Best age for kids to absorb language is up to they are 5-6 years old, the younger they are exposed to multiple languages the easier it will be for them to pick up languages later on.
I was worried about my daughter getting confused with 2 different language and in her school, they teach her english and spanish. I was shocked when she started counting from 1-10 in english and then followed up with counting 1-10 in spansih! Needless to say, I started on mandarin with her right away after that. She is 3.5years old now and can tell that a story book is chinese, english or spanish. Kids are really amazing.

Do you mix english and mandarin within one sentence? that might be take her longer if you mix language within a sentence to sort out especially if she hears differently in other environments e.g. grandparents place or other playgroup or school?
 
I read in the one of the newspapers that our MM Lee advises the use of the Chinese Language at home cos at school teachers will use the English language. I cant remember if the article has mentioned that the use of both languages at home will slow down the learning process for the child..

Anyway being the KS Singaporean, how can I bear not to use both languages at home? If I simply use the Chinese Language with my child, I WORRY that she may not be able to catch up when its time to finally go to school or childcare. (Anyway my maid looks after my baby now so its inevitable that the English language is used at home).

Hmm.. Lin, I think we do mix both languages in one sentence? Din really notice but I will pay attention from now. But I know I do teach her things in both languages. Eg, Grapes, then “pu tao”. So actually this is not encouraged? Or should it be just one language from mummy and another language from Daddy? ;p

The most commonly used words by my baby is “mamama”. She always goes mamama if she wants me to pick her up, and I do. So NOW she calls anyone mamama if she wants to be picked up! Faint~
 
Oh Samantha, about the names for the child – I want to share an experience. We make reference to my sister’s boy using one name. We never use this name to call him. BUT he simply knows that that particular name is used for him !
 
LOL.... so funny! Sorry CS Mummy... :p It's funny - the part on mamamama when she wants to be picked up.

When our son was younger, what we did was to ask him,'you want to be carried (ni yao bao bao ma)?". After a while, he got the message.
 
haha... so funny about mamamam... "you want to be carried" followed by "ni yao bao bao ma?" is fine.
But, i would be more careful about something like
" ni yao drink is shui?" or something as it will take longer for the child to figure out which structure is english and which structure if chinese.
Plus if sometimes you say the same thing about in all chinese and sometimes in all english, your baby will take longer to recognize they are the same thing.
eventually, they will get it though so no worries. =)
 
Hi Samantha,

I totally agree with your postings....Keep talking to your children - 1 language at a time. I have 2 gals - 37mths and 19mths. I sing and talk to my kids since they were a baby. While travelling in the car, I will relate to her what is on the road - car, lorry, bus, motorbike, etc. I also buy books with colourful pictures and 1/2 words and read to her. We use 1 language at home when she was a baby - English. When she was with my In-Laws, (her caregiver during the day), they speak to her in Mandarin. She started calling Papa/ Mama at ard 9mths old and can talk in 3-4 words sentences by the time she was 18mths. Up to 20 mths, the main language she speak was English.

I enrolled her in 3-hr PG class when she turned 21mths. Within 3 mths of attending PG classes, she can communicate fairly well in Mandarin with my In-Laws.

Now, my #1 is a chatterbox....blah....blah...non-stop. She can also recite bedtime stories which I read to them every night in both English and Chinese.

My #2 is picking up very fast from her sister and at 19mths she can sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star in Chinese and English.

On the topic on slow teeth growth and eating habits, I do not know if there is a connection to speech delay. But, it seemed like the case for my BIL's son, now 28 mths, can hardly speak. He calls only papa/ mama/ grandpa/ grandma and a few other single-syllabus words. This boy is considered slow in his teeth growth, 1st teeth appeared at ard 12mths. Now, at 28 mths, still have 6 teeth to go. On his diet, he is still on porridge and milk diet - He cannot handle other solids well that his mother/ my MIL dare not give him more solids worrying that he might get choked. He is also quite a cranky child who often throw tantrums, probably because the adults do not understand what exactly he is trying to say and he is also getting frustrated.

Hi CS Mummy - Dun give up, continue communicating with your daughter, read to her. Speak to her 1 language at a time - Either full sentence in English or in Mandarin. Do not mix. Correct her and encourage her to talk and response in simple sentences. Once they start yakking, you will really hope that they will keep silent for a minute.

It may be a good idea to send her for PG 1st if you are worried about CC illnesses. I sent my #1 for 3-hr PG classes for about 1yr before I switched her to fullday CC at 3yo.

I find this thread quite interesting and just wanted to share my experience
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snowball32
thanks for sharing your experience. this thread is interesting.

CSmummy was your baby a premie? if she is, she might be alittle slower since she was born premature but most differences in kids minimize by 3-4 years old.
 
LOL....

Hi Snowball32. U are totally spot on - once they start yakking, u will really hope that they will keep silent for a minute!
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Junior is really 'speeding' with his speech development. Suddenly he's singing just every kiddy songs! One after another ok.... and always at the top of his voice. I think he can join the choir next time!

Can you imagine, in a car - this kiddo is singing at the top of his voice? thin ker thin ker little tar, how i wonder wat u dar, up a birt de word so high, like de diamond in the thigh...then followed by other songs! *peng*
 
Hi Samantha,

1 child sing still ok. I have 2 kids....and they are racing on who is louder....so you can imagine how they can tear the car apart :p
 
csmummy, u can try reading the following book :

It takes two to talk by Hanen (its an institue, not a author).

The book is available in the library.
 
Hello mummies

Thanks for all your advice. Sorry I was out of action for a while, went for surgery to take out my wisdom tooth, and i had bookmarked this thread only in the office, couldnt find it at home! :p

Samantha, Junior must sound so cute when he is singing.. hee.. record it for your hp ringtone?
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Wasabee, no my baby was full term leh, though she was only 2.3kg when I delivered her :p

And I also talk a lot to my baby, like Snowball, i will point out car, tree, truck etc when we are outside or in the car. Now I try to be more conscious and not mix English and Chinese in one sentence, but I do speak to her in both languages, like Samantha, Chinese after English.

These few days i noticed the mamama is seldom used. When she wants to be carried, she will reach out both her hands and go “ngh ngh ngh”, so I will tell her, not ngh ngh ngh, tell mummy “ni yao bao bao”. Now she uses the mamama when I am at the dining table eating my dinner and she wants to climb onto my lap. Maybe she’s trying to say “mum mum mum”, meaning eat? Haa... duno..

Snowball, i know what you mean by tearing the car apart. It also drives me crazy when my nephews get together (3 of them) and they try to “outshout” each other.. haha.. And i also thought of sending her to PG first, but the centre i am looking at doesnt have PG, only full time childcare. And to put her elsewhere then pull back to this centre for fulltime cc could be disruptive for her, plus got transport issue for my maid to bring to PG... haiz.. aiya I have a lot of logistics issue one lah.. sometimes I feel that it’s so difficult to have another baby when the only caregiver now is my maid (and of cos there are maid issues) but that’s beside the point here :p

Bloom, noted your recommendation. Will check out the book next time i go to the library
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Yes I'm back
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~LOL~ at least your boy is only singing, not gabbling and asking you to answer all the funny questions heee..
 


Hi CS Mummy,

Yes, do correct your child when she did not speak it right. Eventually, they will speak right. Gotta be patient with them.

We also decided to stop at 2 due to caregiver issue as my MIL is getting old. I am sending my #2 to 3-hr PG 1st next yr while waiting for a vacancy at the CC (about 6 mths' wait). Lucky for me is the PG class and CC is located withing walking distance from my house.

Hi Samantha/ CS Mummy,

I actually recorded a very nice song which my #1 sang as my HP ringtone....The song goes like this : "Mummy, mummy, I love U, Daddy, daddy, I love U, Mummy, Daddy, I love U....." She sang this when she was abt 30mths old with very clear diction and I found it so heartwarming
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When you child start talking, be prepared to answer to lotsa "Why like this, why like that, why, why, why" questions until sometimes I also do not know how to answer.
 

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