!Advise needed for procedure of divorce


New Member
Hi all ,thanks for helping first..

A short write up of my story...
Husband cheated on me starting 2 years ago with he's young employee...
For 2 years, I have tried and tried and hoped that it wouldn't fall into a broken family for my 5 years old daughter.

But it didn't work, on and off this 2 years, he still sees her and couldn't let go of her.

I decided to finally go ahead with divorce.
I finally could face my girl and know that I have done my very best to try to retain a family...

I'm currently working part time, looking for a full time job. Me and my girl ready to move near her primary school next year.

We try our best to be a matured parent for her, we hardly quarrel and kept all these behind closed door so far. Although I'm sure as of any sensitive kid, she somehow know...


I'll be asking for:
1) Current Matrimonial house, a privite condo, most likely 50% - 60%
2) Joint custody to my little 5 years old girl, care and concern with me
3) Monthly alimony for myself and her, S$1200
--Thinking of not asking for this, if he is willing to give me more profit in company or selling the house...
4) Education and Insurance for her, full or 80%?


He owns a company, it's a partnership.
Have anyone tried to ask for shares or anything similar in the process of divorce?
What happens if the company doesn't earn instead it pays, then do I have to prepare to pay too?

I am not sure if I should, because I do believe he spent he's life building this company, it would kill him if I ask for it.

I'm just not sure, my family keep telling me not to be soft hearted for the sake of securing my little girl's future...

I initially thought that taking one's company's shares without actually working for it, isn't my style. But my friend reminded me, that I sacrificed my youth to let him fly in he's career, That is my contribution..... and I should ask for it in case he would eventually stop giving me alimony, since he have potentially a new girlfriend to affect him....

advise anyone? I don't really dare to ask him for he's company shares

But decision have to be made soon....
you need to engage a lawyer for professional advice.
what you mentioned here, your husband might not agreed to you. He can get lawyer to fight for custody, care and control.
Lawyer will advise you the next step you need to do to fight for custody care and control. Such as filing for application under GIA (g/infant act). Then he might cross application to yours ... usually will go for mediation.. etc.. if cannot compromise.. then might hv to go for hearing to let judge decide.

Then u might hv to file for maintenance for yourself and your child.

Then divorce is another application hor.

All involved alot of legal fees. you might be able to seek for legal aid if you passed the mean test.
URA building.
cut and paste the website lor


If you failed the mean test, another way to seek for prof advice ONLY fm lawyer.. PAP MP Meet pple session.
I ever attended before and asked their lawyer for advice. But usually they will ask you to engage a lawyer and can only advise what is the normal procedue.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going thru now, and i seriously know how painful it is...
but always bear in mind that money is very important to you esp . you have a kid with you now. Same goes to me.. struggling to pay off the legal bills.
You can always discuss with your lawyer if you can pay your bills by instalment basis. Some lawyers do provide instalment basis to those women that really needs help.
I'm not expert and i'm going thru the painful process now. I hope you will stay strong and stay positive. Our kids need us. Jiayou
Thank you all for your advise...
Frankly I don't really have the heart to ask for shares or he's car or stuff like that...
Just that knowing I'm not the naive one is good to know, you know parents lah, my mom keep asking me to take as much as possible for the sake of kid. At least I know I'm normal if I decided not to take...

To be frank, there's so many thing to deal with now... selling the house, moving and getting kid to school... I have tahan for 2 years plus, I really can't wait to restart my life again, instead of stuck in this position

I'll be trying to talk terms with him by next week, then go look for lawyer. I hope he will be sane enough not to make it difficult
start to collect receipt for maintenance. Best if you hv cr. card bills under your name
another thing, start to notice his behavior and that might be helpful if you have to write things in affidavit..to counter attack him.
There is alot of thing to learn.. and i m still learning. I met a few pple here in SMH, teaching ladies here.. but i think.. there is alot of details work to be done ... behind the scene. i wish to share my experience and note it down.
Alot of things to take note .. and engaging a gd lawyer that specialised in family law might be helpful but costly.
you'll get the matrimonial house since you have custody of your girl. No contest there.

alimony ask for the maximum, partnership company also means shareholder.

think Hoe lawyers asking for the minimum if divorce is consentual.

you'll still have to go through the separation period before divorce can be granted. (This is to protect both parties, just in case both of you decide to get back together after some time)
no need for separation period if a divorce is granted.

Normally a interim judgment is given. After 3 months, the interim judgment will be made final.
thanks, I'm actually counting on immediate divorce, based on agreement on both parties, means both agree that we have separated for 3 years already on our own and can go ahead with immediate divorce... could be that way right?

I'll most likely not ask for he's company or car.... just the house and alimony
Does anyone know, if i opt for separation, do we draw up the divorce agreement first (as in what he will give me, our kid's arrangement...) or do we do this up when the 3 yrs is up, and ready to go for a divorce?
Dear Friends,

I am not really going thru Divorce yet but really wanted to go ahead with it...
My story is quite confusing so perhaps i leave it to another day...

Why i am here is i really need sound advice regarding custody.
I hv a note hinting my wife do not want the custody of the kids, can i use this note as evidence to get full custody ?

Below are the EXACT words from the note -

"i hope tat u can think over wat i had mentioned earlier, about the separation/divorce letter. i hope we can settle things nicely. i do not wish to let this thing turn out ugly, so to benefit the kids. <u>as for the kids, i m willing to let u have them, since u wan them. but i will greatly appreciate if u could let me visit them often and bring them over to my place once a week, maybe overnight. </u>Well, I strongly believe u can take care of them so much better dan i do, esp i hav a very bad temper.

I also strongly believe, by signing the letter will benefit us and will be much much better for us to face each other again."

So friends, do you think i can get custody based on the bold and underlined statement ?
any guys or ladies here can pm me for a chat? im set on my mind for divorce this year..my husband has china mistress n he loves her.

he wants to move out with her already. i still have young kids 4 mnths old.

has any1 here encountered china mistresses? or wat can i do to get rid of the woman?
i'm in a strange position. Everyday without fail, my hb will tell me to divorce him. he will ask me to go get the papers done and he will sign them. he says he cannot live with me anymore. EVERYDAY. He tells me that daily, most of the time, he's shouting. He complains I dun run the household well, etc. I dun do this, I dun do that. I'm supposed to do everything at home, and do well in my job too. Anything I do is wrong to him. I dun do A, I'm wrong. I do A, I'm also wrong. And he feels I hinder him. I'm holding him back from progressing. So he can't live with me anymore. Just go get the papers done up and he'll sign. He'll give me either the 2 kids or the 2 homes or 1 each. We'll be married for 5 years. #2 will be turning 1 soon.

I just find it hurting. I didn't do anything (maybe that was wrong on its own). and he keeps telling me to go file for divorce, like forcing me to divorce him. If he wants it, why dun he initiate it? why tell me to go do it? I really dun get it...
Mine has been telling me countless times to divorce too. i finally did it and he asked me to re think cos he wants the marriage. LOL!

I think he wants the children, not me. Anyway, whatever he is saying, my mind is made up. i will divorce.

My hubby sounds like yours. he blames me for evrything. I am sick of it. he is not worth it anyway.
Val, if she is on work permit, you can lodge a complaint at MOM. As a work permit holder, she should be aware that there are some personal conducts that she has to abide including not breaking up families here.