Advice needed on divorce/separation/child custody


Hi, can you add me to the chat group?

Going through divorce with abusive husband. Lawyers told me even though I have evidence of my husband being abusive towards me, the court will most likely grant joint custody because I don't have evidence of him abusing the child. My husband has show signs he will ill treat the child, he curse at him, blame him when he is having a bad day, neglect him when he cries etc.... I am so worried my husband will hurt my child if he is alone with him.....I don't understand the singapore system, unless I can prove my husband had abused my child, the court will grant him joint custody? Does it mean I should put my son in danger now by living with him so that I can gather evidence of him abusing my son???? We are sill living under the same roof currently.....

Please help....
 
Hi, can you add me to the chat group?

Going through divorce with abusive husband. Lawyers told me even though I have evidence of my husband being abusive towards me, the court will most likely grant joint custody because I don't have evidence of him abusing the child. My husband has show signs he will ill treat the child, he curse at him, blame him when he is having a bad day, neglect him when he cries etc.... I am so worried my husband will hurt my child if he is alone with him.....I don't understand the singapore system, unless I can prove my husband had abused my child, the court will grant him joint custody? Does it mean I should put my son in danger now by living with him so that I can gather evidence of him abusing my son???? We are sill living under the same roof currently.....

Please help....

hi, joint custody simply means that both of you share decisions on legal matters of medical, education and religion. It is totally different from care and control which go towards the practical day to day living arrangements including who the child is living with. If you are afraid that H will hurt the child (especially if the child is young), then always have someone with the child and H is never alone with him. This is called supervised" access if you have care and control. The law has ways and means to try and address these issues. The methods are not perfect, and cannot address all issues, but they are there if needed.

Things will be better after both of you physically separate. Good luck.
 
would like to check what do I do next cause the husband had been in contactable since last year March... then lawyer say die die also must find him out... but how to find. ..
 
would like to check what do I do next cause the husband had been in contactable since last year March... then lawyer say die die also must find him out... but how to find. ..

your lawyer have to send the court paper to the official address at least 3 times, if really can't him, then can send to the working place. if unavailable, then have to published the intention to file for divorce in the main newspaper asking him to contact your lawyer. if after that still no news of him, then can proceeded to file without his presence
another way is to get a PI to search for him.
 
would like to check what do I do next cause the husband had been in contactable since last year March... then lawyer say die die also must find him out... but how to find. ..

The law allows for husbands to be served even if they cannot be found. If for example you can show that he is living with his mom but is avoiding you, service can be effected there. Workplace is another alternative or even email if you can show that he is using that account. Even FB is now permissible. Ask your lawyer to think out of the box. Good luck.
 
My divorce was settled within 6 weeks, and my lawyer is excellent. Pro active, and his rates was super reasonable because I did afew comparisons. Anyone who needs his contact do PM me.
 
your lawyer have to send the court paper to the official address at least 3 times, if really can't him, then can send to the working place. if unavailable, then have to published the intention to file for divorce in the main newspaper asking him to contact your lawyer. if after that still no news of him, then can proceeded to file without his presence
another way is to get a PI to search for him.

if publish already can proceed without his presence then what will they do with the house and can I get sole custody for the kids?
 
hi,

I need help in obtain PPO and self represent myself in trial. I need help in preparing the ducuments and clearing some doubt. i.e: Is there possibility court may order me to pay for his lawyer if I lose.
 
PPO unlike divorce that's draggy so u need not worry about that ...only thing get your affidavit n proof all proper sequence n order....u submit wrong or not proper it will either get thrown out or judge simply ignore and all you went thru goes to nothing,

Feel free to pm me
 
PPO unlike divorce that's draggy so u need not worry about that ...only thing get your affidavit n proof all proper sequence n order....u submit wrong or not proper it will either get thrown out or judge simply ignore and all you went thru goes to nothing,

Feel free to pm me

thank you very much!
 
That's Uncontested divorce !! Agree to everythimg stated n dont complaint after that ... reopening a closed divorce will cost u 5x time n $$

Resonable ? 5k or 3k is always Uncontested ...of course 6 wks can complete... easy ones 1 mth ...whatever he ask...just simply agree ...easy ..i also know how ...dun get hookwink into siging away yr rights n yr kids rights
...once done .. reversal is difficult though not impossible n is very costly.

I can also have your Uncontested divorce in 6 wk at a fraction of the cost ...cos i know how simple it is..
And i know some lawyers pay referrals also. Come across this type of mummies absolutely. So dun think lawyers are cheap..they ONLY apply the summons ..whether is will be Contested or Accepted..it is unknow.. so the real factual cost havent kick in...its just level 1, STAGE 1
 
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Ladies .. n guys ..just a caution ... when you are looking for lawyers...pls pls ..toolong ..dun give your lawyer docus unless you want it reveal ..a recent fren i helped realised her confidential docus were in the hands of her hubby when she clearly gave only to her lawyer. You can dun believe me, i hv nothing to loose inhad won my divorce.

If u need help...pm me..i'll help u as far as i can
 
Smiggleprincess ... i started the chatgtp n then she took over...i know her personally cos i helped her before ....just one thing...you want to win your case.. u listen to each of their cases...u get more confuse n very distracted.
 
HI everyone, my husband told me he want to divorce the past 2 months. Reason being, he is tired of holding responsibility to family, he wants back his freedom and singlehood life. we have 1 son, 7 soon. We dont stay together for 2 months and my son is by my side. he told me that he is willing give up our house, our son, and provide alimony to us. I would like to know what should I do to put it in black and white as an evidence when we go through the process of divorce. As I am worry he will change his mind and fight with me on all these. I hope that someone can advise me before I go to the lawyer. thank you very much.
 
Dear All parents,

it's very sad to read all your stories, divorce is not a final decision....father & mother are very important to a child. possible to get marriage counselling to help your marriage change. i know it is not easy and painful to go thru all this things....
everyone play a part, nobody are perfect, learn to accept your partner weakness...
 
yes, i also understand that. but my husband strongly disagreed to marriage counselling. He thinks that why does he need to listen to other on his own marriage. I already tried many ways to save our marriage, but he is very persistent. I have no choice at all. Do you have other ideas?
 
It is sad ..that's my fren always ask the mummies ...what is your intention n what u want to do
..its very important cos once discovery ..the pain will break the family apart or mend for the better. It cuts both ways. Be very sure u are ready for the truth. If you arent ..try other ways to salvage the marriage.
 
to be frank, I am not ready for this and I have been so upset that my son can tell. I have tried alot of ways (soft and hard), but he is so harsh and cold towards me. I cannot do anything but to comply. I dont want to give my son a broken family, but I cannot stand that he is not treating me the same like he used to. i feel so helpless.
 
westwood, do you know what make him persistent? i believe you still love him that why u trying to save your mariage...
 
Hi alicia80, yes I am, despite got hurt by him verbally. I am believe is the freedom. but i am not those "sticky wife". or perhaps, he got too boring with this relationship.
 
Hugs ..gal

Hv u try talking to him yourself? U hv to lower yr pride n hold yr horses n hear him out then objectively agree to disagree to some if not all issues so as to draw some common grounds..its the only way.
 
Westwood, do u think he hv other women outside? if don't have, the possible to change your marriage higher chance.... i suggest you go counselling alone first, for initial step to changed yourself how to handle this issue.... its not easy but you can learn...
 
hi all,

anyone care to share whether they have negotiate for a forgo of chils maintenance in return of take over spouse's share of house by partial refund of cpf or no refund of cpf??
 
I would like to confirm if things doesnt work out. What he promised to give verbally, how can i turn it into evidence. As i am paying the house myself, i cannot split 50% to him.
 
Applechwy

U can nego this at CFRC ..the presiding judge will oversee fair treatment. CPF regulation must ask CPF cos even the court cant touch. Like my fren case though court rules after sale, proceeds less all fees goes to her but kena stopped by cpf board. And now hv to get a summons to amend the order to CPF regulation.
 
Westwood

Verbal agreement hold no substance in court. Unless it ois a sworn statement. Not even A Separation Deed, its a worthless piece of paper n free meal to the lawyers. Feel free to pm me. I learn everything the hard way.
 
gladjo

hi thanks for reply. may i know what is CRFC? how the negotitate work?

CPF side can check with who?

actually my main concern is have some backup fund instead of full refund. especially i forgo the child maintenance in return of the partial fund plus i need to ensure hdb side will grant me enough loan to dischargw the current loan.
 

Hi applechwy

CFRC ..Child Focus Recounciliation Center ..n is held at family court @Havolock ot tanjung pagar. Depending where the judge allocated.

If your request is not Contested n accepted..then court acts as faciliator. If he contest, then the court will evaulated both sides.

Go down to cpf board n ask...is fairly easy.
 

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