Advice NEEDED ! 1st pregnancy and then miscarriege

T

tanz

New Member
dear all beautiful mothers,

I just did my maternity check up last night (I am in 7 wks of pregnancy), and the gyne told me that, the embrio was not growed as he should and no more heartbeat.

Means I have experienced a miscarriege.

He suggested me to wash out and wait for 6 months to 1 year, then to try again.

This is my first pregnancy, my hubby and I are quite sad to hear abt the result.

We are still considering whether to wash it out (wat's this process call?) or wait for natural miscarriege? Anyone can suggest?

And, I m thinking to see a TCM, any good recommendation?

After the miscarriege, shall I do a confinement at least for how long? Must take leave and rest at home?

Any suggested confinement menu?

Hope to hear from someone soon, as I am quite lost now and dun really know what to do.

Thank you so much.
 


I'm sad to hear about your loss.

i'm not that traditional.. But I'll suggest doing D/C if gynae already said foetus is dead. Otherwise it may harm your womb if you wait any longer.

Confinement menu wise I'll suggest eating nutritious food not necessary confinement style. Just eat better, no cooling foods and drinks, no processed foods. You should be fine.
 
tanz: sorry to hear that.. Maybe you should seek 2nd opinion for this?? Last May, my 1st gynae also told me its an empty sac when i was in 7-8wks pregnant.. Then suggest i "wash out" on the same day.. Of cos, i was super shocked and sad at that moment.. But I still seek 2nd opinion on this.. 2nd opinion turn up to be same diagnose as 1st gynae.. So 2nd gynae schedule me for "Dilation and curettage" the next day.. I am given a week MC.. I did confinement for 2weeks @ home, and continue confinement food for another 2weeks after going back to work.. 2nd gynae gave me the green light to try for my next pregnancy after 3 mths..
 
Hi hi Petrina and p00h, thanks for yoru reply and advice.

Petrina, Why if I dun wash out may cause harm to womb? what kind of harm?

p00h, my hubby and I also decided to seek for second advice.

I done the scan on last Tues (19/4) and get this sad result. It is not empty but the embrio does not grow and no heartbeat.

Then, I just schedule to seek for another gynae, the appointment will be on 28/4, is abt 9 days after the frist scan, this period shall be ok and shld not cause any harm for my womb if the embrio really has dead?

So now u feel better? Ur body health ok aft the surgery?
Can I knw how much u spent for the Dilation and Curettage? for my refrence and budgeting.
 
Hi Tanz,

I can understand how you feel. Don't be disheartened. I had two miscarriages previously. My second miscarriage is just like your case. My baby seems to stop growing at 7 weeks with very weak heartbeat and totally no heartbeat when I went for a 2nd scanning at 8 weeks. It was a very saddening thing when I went for my D&C on the same day. Hubby's support is very important.

My gynae also gave the green light to try for my next pregnancy after a month. I had a mini confinement for a week and went back to work after that. 3 months after my 2nd miscarriage, I tried again and got pregnant. Now my boy is coming to 2 years old.
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As for the cost of D&C, it depends on how much your gynae charge. Both my 1st and 2nd D&C were done by different gynae. The cost is very different.
 
Thank you J&M, I am so sorry to hear that you had experiencs twice, but glad that you finally have a healthy bpy now
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Your experience is very useful refernce to me.

I have went through a TCM, the TCM physician suggested to wait for natural miscarriage......

I am still not sure which method is the best and less harmful to me.....
 
hi Tanz

I would suggest a natural miscarriage. The body's veyr amazing. It knows how to dispel a foetues that has stopped growing as at 7-8 weeks, the foetus is still very small and will be dispelled as very heavy period with or without cramps.

Let me tell u a true story.

My friend was told to either go for a D&C at 8 weeks or let a natural miscarriage happen after the OBGYN tokd her and her hubby that he couldn't detect any heartbeat. Of course, they were shocked and sad to hear that and decided to wait a few days before making a decision. They waited for 2 weeks, in the end. They went back to the OBGYN and did a scan again. This time round, the heartbeat was detected and was very strong. OBGYN said it was unusual and a miracle.
 
Let there be HOPE,

it is an amazing story..wow...THANK YOU for sharing this true story with me
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I hope mine will have the same outcome as ur friend...
then is ur friend continue to take the folic acid in the 2 weeks that she is waiting? i have stopped taking for few days edi because of no mood...

i m planning to have natural micarriage too, if my baby really....but then it means baby will have a chance to wake up...this is wat i think too...

but if worse come to worse, do u hav any idea that how long to wait for the natural miscarriage to be happened?
 
Hi Tanz

From what I remembered, she did continue taking her multi vits and folic acid as her reasoning was that even if she wasn't pregnant, having these minerals and vits were not harmful to the body. if I were in your position, I'd wait b/t 1-2 weeks. Our body has an amazing ability to rid off anything that doesn't belong.
 
Hey Let there be HOPE,

Thank you, ur posts motivate me a lot
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No matter how, I will be positive to face all these...and I believe the amaze of our body, too...
 
U r welcome, Tanz! I pray that everything will be fine with you and if not, you will find strength to get by
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Hi Tanz
I had 2 miscarriages before, both I waited naturally for it to dispell. I would recommend the natural method but you have to be mentally prepared and make sure you have pads with you if you are not at home. My 1st miscarriage just happen when I went downstairs to buy food. Fortunately, I rushed to the toilet on time.

Folic, should still take as it is 1 of the component of red blood cells which is important.

Take heart
 
Hi Jamie,
Thank you for sharing your experience.

Too bad, i can't overcome the fear and the feeling of uncertain, so when i started bleeding lightly, I decided to go for the D&C.

when I awake from the surgery, I had great pain for abt 1/2 hr.....

it is not a good experience.

Anyway, I had gone by.....And now resting at home.

Thank you so much for you all's encouragements, and sharings.
 
Sorry to you all for your loss. My bub had no heartbeat at the 9 week scan, measured about 8 weeks. I did not want a d&c or "evacuation" as I considered it too intrusive. Since my miscarriage still did not happen two weeks after the scan my doctor prescribed misoprotol. Very painful. Experienced only an incomplete miscarriage even with a week of heavy bleeding. Tried a second dose, this also only resulted in a very painful incomplete miscarriage. After complications and heavy bleeding I ended up having an emergency D&C. In hindsight the D&C was simple, only mild discomfort afterwards - should have got it done in the first place and saved a few weeks of pain and misery.
 
kristen,

I am sorry to your loss and all the suffers you have gone through.

No matter wat method u have chosen and wat had u experienced, it is glad that you are alright now. You are strong
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do give yourself a big applaud, you deserve it.

Dun think too much and let your sadden go away with the help of time.

Do take a good rest, and this experience is very harmful to women's health, so better do a 2 weeks confinement according to Chinese traditional way, to get your health back.

Tomorrow always better, and the rainbow will beautiful after raining. All the best and rest well.
 
Hi to mummies who have miscarriage,

What will u all normally do after the miscarriage?
I mean any ritual to be done to the baby?

I had a miscarriage when bb ard 6 wks and undergone evac in KKH. Now on 1 week medical leave. Apart from eating confinement food, I am thinking whether need to "超度" the baby or not?
My religion is Taoism so I did called up a temple and ask how much is the ritual process, he told me about $1300.

Did anyone of you did anything like that b4? If yes, where and how can it be done?
 
Hi Janelle,

I never think to do the ritual for my lost baby initially.

Then recently one of my friend, whose religion is buddihsm, she told me that there will be a 超度大法会held in Malaysia, Johor state, on 27-29 May, which is coming weekend.

The ritual is free of charge. If you are interested, you can fill in a form, then submitted to the organisation via email. Then they will help to chaodu the baby.

You can donate any amount to them if you want too, no obligation.

I have submitted mine. If you are interested, mayb you can give me your email address, I will send the form to you.
 
Hi Tanz,

we lost the baby on the same day 20th April 2011. its my first baby too..
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sob.

I was 7th week too. I flew to Aussie for honeymoon and i know i was preggy the day before I fly. I seek the gynae "approval" to fly because we have already booked the accomdation, flight and hotel. We just wanna ensure its ok to fly. Gynae did give the green light to fly. Gynae ensured that flying is completely safe for baby.

However, bleeding comes.. and i was in and out of Aussie hospital for 5 times within my 14 days trip. conclusion.. aussie docs and spore docs dun agree with each other on their treatment methods.. while i was in aussie and started bleeding, the doc in aussie was alarmed that spore doc did a scan for me when i was 7 weeks preggy. they say there is nothing to see, nothing to scan.

however, to confirm that i have miscarriaged, there did a scan and say they cant see anything in the womb. And they jus ask me to go back every 3-4 days for blood check to ensure my hormones are going down to confirm that I have miscarriage. no D&C, no medication. just pure checking of blood hormones count.

When we are back in singapore, the gynae told me she doesnt know what the aussie docs are doing. however, She did a scan and commented that despite no d&c, my womb is recovering very well. Hence, no d&c! but she puts me on 1 month of antibiotics to ensure that there is no complication.

During the 14 days in Aussie, i cant eat any tonic as well.. and worse of all, its all fish & chips/western food... sometimes really unsure if we over reacted? I think the ang Mo are so cool abt it. I did ask the gynae there if I need to eat any special food, they just tell me just eat normally and keep myself happy. Thats more impt.

They also quoted 1 in every 4 pregnancy results in miscarriage. And asked me not to blame myself for it. Unless a person has 3 consecutive miscarriage, there is no cause of alarm.

Thank God I received very good treatment in Aussie. You can really feel it that they want to treat you from the bottom of their hearts. I walked in and out the hospital 5 times without payment. They are just so assured that I wun just run away to Singapore. I have to tell them im flying tomorrow, TODAY is the last day i can pay, then they showed me to the cashier.

The Aussie doc had a 2 hrs talk with me abt my medical history, miscarriage. They also passed me brouchures on miscarriages and its v informative. i felt that the aussie docs handled me very well emotionally and especially they sat down with me and talk to me, to calm me down as I was just crying and crying. And explained its not my fault, i have no reason to blame myself.. can really feel that they are really doctors at heart too, very very compassionate ppl..
 
Jofeny,

I am sorry to your loss of baby.
At the sametime, so glad that you have gotten very good treatments in Aussie, especially the emotion was being handled well.I think this is very important, because as a monther-to-be, actually we were quite hurt when we know that our babuy has....I can still remember that I couldn't control my tears for the whole night when the Gyne sentenced that my baby had dead. Even now, aft about 1 month, I will still feel sad and crying when I talked about this to one of my good friend last night.

Went through the D&C is also a very tough decision. Just like I have to "take out" my baby by force. it was another heart-ache process.

Yeah, u r right, I had gone through 4 gyne for advices before I deciding to do the D&C, they were all telling the same as you were told, 15-20% of pregnancy will end up with a miscarriage. So, this is nothing to do with the parents, and definitely not the fault of the mother.

But well, even they said that it is not the fault of mother, I just cannot accept such statement, and since the baby is formed and growing in my body, then how can I say that, his unhealthy/death has totally not my fault?

Anyway, let's bygone be bygone, life still go on. Hence we shall stand up, and build up our body health, and to wait for the next Angel to come patiently.

All the best to you, and me, and all the mother-to-be that suffering the same incidents as us.
 
Dear all ladies,

I just done a D & C last friday, given 1 week MC resting at home. I went to 3 gyne, all telling me the same thing that my bb should be 9 week but the size only 6 week with no heartbeat.

I'm being diagnose with adenomyoma on 18/03/2011 at KKH, which mean my chance of getting preggy is lesser.

So happy when i discover i'm preggy on 06/05/2011 but good thing doesn't last long.

Look forward to try again 3 month later, hope that don't need to use IVF.
 
Hi Jofeny, tanz and Alice,

Just wanted to drop a note to say that I understand what you all have gone through and to encourage all of you. I had a miscarriage in 2007(my first pregnancy) and went through a d/c at 8 weeks. I was devastated as I really wanted the baby. I couldn't get over it for a very long time and like you I cried and cried for a long while.

Thanks to my hubby's n friends who stood by me and prayed for me , I managed to get back on my feet, yet there was always a tinge of sadness whenever I see other ladies with their babies. Thank God I discovered I was pregnant again in 2009!
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(yes I tried n tried for 2 years before having good news)

Now, my son is already 13 months!
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and a great joy to me and his daddy. Ladies, do not be discouraged!
 
Hi Hannah,

I hear that after D & C will easy to get preggy.

O my god, I'm already 31 year old and after my mother-in-law will be angry for not getting preggy since i got married in year 2009.

I'm be wonder why other so easy to get preggy why can't i.

thank for your post.
 
Dear Hannah,

Thank you for the sharing. I m sure it must be a great joy now with your baby, after experiencing a miscarriage before.

As for myself, I feel more appreciation of life, living is such a great thing and we must treasure it. Thanks to my lost angel who gavem e brave to facing obstacles in life.

I am no hurry although I am now 32. But when my little angel come back to me again, I am sure I will be prepared well mentally, physically.

Alice, I am sory about your lost. Dun worry, your preggy luck will be back again and there will be a healthy baby
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Yeah, I heard that aft D&C, we will get preggy more easily as our womb is more "sensitive".

It is so great to have someone to share our experience here, and give moral support to each other. If not, I think it will be more difficult for us to walk out from the sadden.

All the best to all mothers and mother-to-be
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My last menses was 14Apr11 and I did not came my menses on 14May11..so I did HPT on 16May11 and I had a positive result and confirmed my pregnency again at Polyclinic on 18May11 and it also came out positive. But the next day at 4pm, I had bleeding like menses a red pinkish colour n a little bit like blood clot n it last about 5 days. And try again the HPT on 21May11 and it came again positive. Again I try the HPT on 23May11 it came out positive with the CLEARBLUE HPT. I'm due to see the doctor on 15JUne11.THis is my fourth pregnency and the last pregency is normal only this pregnency I'm having this problems..Any Advice....Tks...
 
Hi Ratu

Congrats!

Is there anyway to get an earlier appt? U may need some hormone shots / pills to stabilise the pregnancy. In the meantime, try your best not to move about too much and not to carry heavy stuff. I urge you to get an earlier appt to see the gynae. All the best.
 
Hi Let there Be Hope

Tks for the advice!!

As this is my fourth baby, the 2nd n 3rd was actually twins (all of them is boys) now hoping to get girl..I just wait till the 15June11 coz right now I feels ok...there nothing like pain here n there..Just wondering if can get pregnent if the is bleeding or it just false alarm as I already it the HPT 4 times and it all came positive...Just pray hard that noting happened....Tks again for yr advice...
 
Hi Ratu

I'd still advise you to bring forward your appt date with the gynae. Any type of bleeding is cause for concern (threatened miscarriage) unless doctor certify your level as normal and progressing well. 1 can still be pregnant with the bleeding - pregnancy can still go on as per normal or the pregnancy can be spontaneously be aborted by the abnormal bleeding. Although it's said that spotting is normal for pregnancy, it's only normal if the doctor has seen you and assures you that you're fine. Otherwise, it's for your best interest and the interest of your unborn child to seek medical attention ASAP. Just my 2cents worth as I've witnessed situations like yours happening around me so I am anxious for you.
 
hi Ratu,

Congratulations!
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I agree with Let there be HOPE, bleeding can be quiter risky. So better get advice earlier as possible.
 
Hi Alice,

I just went to my gynae... my first menses after miscarriage.. and the gynae is very confident to make me preggy within 3 months..

She prescibed to me fertility pills and schedule me 3 appointments closely to monitor the egg progress and such. Im quite certain she will dictate the exact date that I should intimate with my hubby! haha..

I did ask her why she is so confident and she says her past records has been really good.. I walked out of the clinic feeling im preggy already.. haha...

unsure if you want her to give it a shot.. her reviews on net are not so good though.. but my hubbby felt that she is a good doc though not those honey-mouth kind.. Can feel that her skills are quite good and swift.. minimal pain while doing scans and jabs.. but those strict teachers but will produce good results..let me know if you want her contacts.
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Hi Let there be hope...

Once again tks u for your concern n advice. Will take yr advice n will call the KKH APPt desk to make earlist appt ASAP..Tks once again...
 
If it's KKH u are going, u can also go to their 24hr O&G clinic direct. Usually appt line would have already given you the earliest appt slot available unless someone whose appt was earlier than yours called and cancelled hers then you will get an even earlier appt date. Otherwise, the chance of getting an earlier slot than the one given to you is slim. The 24hrs clinic would be your best bet. All the best.
 
Hi Tanz,

I was given 8 6 days hospitalization leave by Mount Alvernia.

Hi msxiaobawang, thank you for the gynae address.

Dear all, thank for all the advice.
 
juz wanna say take heart all mummies and God bless you all. and take care! jia you! jia you! zai jia you!!
 
I am soo sorry for you. I know how horrible it is to not know and not be able to do anything. You need to try your best not to upset yourself too much because you can cause a miscarriage if you get too stressed out.
 
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