Advice need..maid or childcare?

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babymel_c

New Member
hi mummies
i needed advice badly.currently i'm looking after my 2 kids.(3yrs old & 4mths old-TBF)shall i hire a maid to help me or put my gal to child care.. i'm very tired...had tried for 3 mths liao w/o help must cook,bring kid to class,housechores etc.. pls give me advise.tks
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I sent my elder girl (2 years old then) to childcare 1 month before I delivered my second child
She was in a childcare for almost 2 years.
I withdraw her when my younger girl is 21 months old, when I felt more confident of handling both of them

hiring a maid was never an option to us

for housework, I have a clean lady to help out once a week. I also order tingkat but still need to cook for baby separately at least for the first one year plus
 
babymel

my son is taken care by babysitter ever since he is 2mths old. When he is 18mths, we decided to engage a maid as we have some unhappiness with nanny. Right now he is taken care by maid and i think i have made the right choice. Actually before the babysitter, we engage a indonesian maid and got very bad experience. Now we got a philippino and she is doing great. Childcare is nvr a option. I read an article on new paper recently and it mention that to put a toddler in childcare is not advisable as they will build a anti-social, agressive, demanding atittude but i dont know how true it is.
 
Hi babymel, mad and skyangel
am putting our 3 mth old at an infant care right now - 4th week. Cost for infant care is about $400-$1k+, there is subsidy for working moms.

As for the child getting sick easily as a result of cross infection, you need to address this with the centre when you visit them. What are their policies and what are the arrangements.

The one that we chose had separate rooms for the babies at different stages, infants, crawlers, toddlers etc - so that the stronger toddlers do not infect the weaker infants unknowingly. Also, they do not use the aircon if possible, and allow the air to circulate naturally rather than recirculate the virus in an airconditioned environment. Unfortunately, it also costs more.

Mad, i am a little surprised by the article you mentioned.

Instinctively, a toddler in a group environment should be more sociable rather than anti-social, unless they are compelled to fight for attention at the centre, and do not feel loved unless they demand for it. Then it might be the culture and quality of the of the care given that is questionable.
 
my girl fell sick frequently during the first 6 months in childcare
pediatric said it is normal. once their immune system adjusted, they will fall sick less frequently
true enough, after that first 6 months, she didn't fall sick that regulary, probably once every 2 to 3 months
of course, if she's at home (after I withdraw her), hardly even fall sick

she quite introvert, a little anti-social. not sure whether it is due to childcare though
she has always been the quiet type since infant. But now that she is 5 years old, very jovial leh. so I guess it's a passing phrase lah
she was in a montessori childcare around $500/month
 
Hi, i am a SAHM, just put my gal in childcare for about 2wks. Actually want her to mix around with other kids, so i put her with PAP childcare on the flexi hr. Also hear from my frend, after her daughter went to childcare, she got runny nose quite often.

Today just receive a note from them telling parents that there are 3 children from their centre got HFM disease, so worry donno want my gal to continue or not...my hb say me 'mei shi zao shi fan'...haiz...
 
Yukee

HFMD very scary leh. my girl's PAP kindergarten had 2 cases too.

in childcare the kids sleep together, higher risk of gems passing around. how about sending her to those daily pre-school if your intention is for her to mix around?
 
ozze

I am quite puzzled too when i read that article. By right, they are able to be more independent and sociable. But it emphasize that 8 hours long is far to much for a toddler.
 
mad, hmm... i guess the quality of care at the centres make a difference. If baby feels loved and cared for at the centre, they will respond like wise. If they have to fight and assert themselves to get attention, they will probably behave like that at home too.
 
Actually i work in the childcare before. Some teachers tend to be very selfish. They will only care for those who are cuter. Those who dont get attention might be unbalanced and thus build a anti social and agressive character.
 
I agree with Mad. I too worked in childcare before & some teachers play favouritsm. But not all like that lah.
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I think its best to put a child for half day care instead of full day. It depends on the needs of each family. If you have help at home, then half day is good enough, just to build some social & interaction skills. Unless if you're a FTWM with no help at all, then full day option is the best (i'd prefer this than a maid).

Babymel_C, in your case, suggest if you're really tired now, get a maid to help out with sending/fetching the kids from school, simple housework & simple cooking, while you can help supervise & do the homework with your kids. You need to let your maid know what your priorities are. If her responsibility is solely on looking aft the kids, then you have to close an eye on the housework area.
 
Hi,

Just want to check wif all mummies who put their darlings in childcare. Do you give yr kids any vitamins to strengthen their immune system? Or any other supplements / vitamins?

Thanks.
 
Hi Vinn
apart from some vitamin C in the form of rosehip syrup and fruits, we do not give extra... always skeptical about pills and such for adults, not to mention babies.

thing is, he has caught something from people having flu but not at the infant care...
 
I put my 30mth old son in whole day childcare in Jan'08 after 26mths with nanny coz 1 him to learn things and socialise with other ppl and kids. It's true that after in childcare tends to fall sick easily, but it's just the interim period, after abt 3 mths should b ok . I employ a myanmese maid to help out oso, after work really wish to have some peace and own time to do my own things, if not really will be too stress out.

After I've got the maid, really make a lot of difference, dun have to worry abt all the housework and dinner. Expenses is more, but I think it's worth it and someone to take care of my son if he's sick or wat.
 
Reddates
Juz curious....since your son is in childcare, then ur myanmar maid do what during the day? Nothing to do?
 
hi reddates, agrees with u.. after i got my maid although some loss of privacy. but overall life improves alot.. I oso engage a myanmar maid. :)
 
Hi celeste,

Actually there's alot of things to do at hm,
-morning take care of my son till abt 8+ then go sch
-wash clothes everyday,
-sometimes I will bring her to market to buy grocery, food etc..
-Sweep floor everyday
-Mop floor twice/thrice a week
-Iron/fold clothes everyday
-cook dinner everyday
-clean window,wipe everywhere every now and then(coz I will check to c if got any dust watever
-pick my son up at abt 5-5.30pm
-feed my son dinner, bath him etc...
-got to mop kitchen floor everyday
-prepare my son bag etc...

So I would say alot of things to do, have to train her what to do initially, but really make my life much easier and more relax. As for privacy , u will get use to it sooner or later. But of coz have to spend time with my son , dun 1 him to rely/stick to my maid always. Can have some quality time wif my hubby(go paktor, movies etc...)
Imagine we have to do all the things, I think we will go crazy, have to work and handle stuffs at hm....
 
Nyssa_won,

How's ur maid? Mine is my first maid, have contemplate for very long to decide whether to engage one anot. I would say, I din regret it. She have been with me since Dec'07. Beginning part was really hard, coz of communication and different culture etc... almost wanted to transfer her after the first mth, lucky I grit my teeth and perservere, to think that when we work we oso got 3 mths probation, so give her and me a chance to work it out. So now, she can take care of my house and son quite well. Make me & my hubby abit lazy liao ;p
 
hi reddates, my maid still quite new.. tis is oni the end of 2nd week she's here. basically I also have the communication and different culture problem.. but maybe bcos my maid is an orphan, so she's quite independent. She's quite 'kwai' and does not pulls a long face when i point out her error.. this.. i am very happy aldy.. she's my 2nd maid.. my 1st maid oni lasted 2mth.. and thruout it feels like i am her maid.

Really envy u.. how long does it take for u to fully train her?? I hope mine can be as good as yours.
 
Nyssa,

Takes abt 2mths or so to train her, I would say to give each other more time to train and her to get used working in SG. Cooking wise I train her and of coz sometimes when my mother or mil is cooking, she will stand there to look and help out.
One thing good is that, whenever I scold/reprimand her abt the errors , she will smile and accept it, wun give my black face or wat. After I scold her I will take abit more time to explain to her on y I'm unhappy abt it. So I guess it helps. She took the initiative to borrow english learning book to pick up more Eng, she learns chinese quite fast oso, manage to speak better eng and few chinese word liao.
 
Hi,

Anyone knows of anyone sending their good maid back due to unforseen circumstances on their part?

i urgently need a maid who can handle babies well.
 
hi reddates, ya.. i agree with u.. my maid so far oso seems like dat.. not much attitude problem.. but really cannot scold... i oni say her abit in normal tones.. her eyes red aldy..
 
Reddates,
actually from the list u have hor, clean window and wipe furniture all these is like abt once a week?
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Actually even if do everything in ur list, i tink the maid is still quite free! cos judging from the list, total time spent prob about 3-4 hrs? Unless ur hse very big...hehe...
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Reddates, nyssa,
wow...u both quite lucky
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that time my myanmar one powderful....during CNY we return home around 10.10pm and she quickly unpack bag go n sleep, leave me to settle my ger, make milk, change her clothes etc! I have 2 maids before...now give up on maids
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Celeste,
Still got other things to do oso, Those r the things tat I can think at tat moment. The list is endless, wash toilets , clean cupboard..of coz got to have some free time lah, got to rest oso mah. I believe in giving ample rest and food oso.
My maid is quite gd lah, not those eat snake type lor, will take initiative, if we go out and come back late, she will settle my son first b4 she do anything else. If I'm hungry late at nite, c tat I want to cook noodles to eat, she will offer to cook 4 me. When at my mum/mil place, she will help out the cooking washing , folding/ironing clothes, no need me to say lor.
For me, since she's good, I dun mind her resting for awhile. use my pc to check her email, call her sis once a while etc....of coz got limit lah.
 
I got her through one of the mother here at the forum, coz she have a myanmar maid herself, she helping the frns/relatives of her maid to get a job here, of coz go through proper procedures lah.
When employing maid, depends on ur luck oso I think. My maid sometimes oso quite blur and forgetful, just learn to forgive and forget. Really have to tolerate in the beginning part.
 
hi reddates, ur maid have email?? I tot of asking my maid to email her hb.. but she says only the very rich have internet access in myanmar..
 
Hi
Any Good experience maids or maid agnecy to recommend as I plan to get a maid on Jul to take care of housework & some infant care.
 
Hi

My baby was under nanny care. But had bad experience also. My nanny claims that she loves baby etc. But one day when I went to pick up my baby, she was crying and her daughter was rocking hard on my baby. And mother din know. I was so angry. So decided to engaged a maid. Still waiting for my maid. We can control the maid but not nanny. But got to keep my finger cross on getting a good maid.
 
actually tiffany

i agree with you. We still can control the maid but not nanny. If we were to call nanny everyday, she might be thinking we dont trust them. As for maid, i can just call or pop home as when i like. Anyway nowadays alot of ppl putting up camera at home, so it is quite safe.
 
Hi sori juz happen to come into this thread n quite curious. Not to scare anyone but juz to share wat i saw. Personally i m a housewife with two boys now P1 n P4.

Everyday i will come across many maids n alot of them seem to enjoy a better life than we (the full time housewife). Some of them will regularly hv a gathering every Fri like a picnic with alot of foods ,drinks n tibits at void decks.

Some will bring their employer's kids to school very early so that they have more time to mingle around until the supposed time to be home for bringing the kids to school.

Some were even seem having an intimate time with those foreign male workers at staircase.

There were also those that in the pretext of bringing the kids to the playground for outdoor activities but turned a blind eyes to the kids' safety and engaged in gossiping with other maids.

There was once where i witnessed a little gal (around 3 or 4 yrs old) fell down fm the swing n was crying but the maid juz shouted at her to stop crying n then went back to her gossiping without chking whether the gal suffered any injuries n it were us- the housewives that felt the little gal's pain n went to pacify her. Juz sharing- no hard feeling.
 
Hi there,
I just engaged a myanmar maid but very hard to get their understand what we need her to do. So called communication prob. Pls advice how long normally to train them understand our english?
 
Helen,

I fully agree with what you said. I also witnessed maids leaving children to play at the playground or near to roadside, but they simply didn't care for safety! That's why maid is NEVER an option for my hubby. Yes, life with a maid can be more relaxing but I would trust experienced babysitters more. Somehow or rather, they'll not be so heartless to cause baby death. Unlike what we read in newspapers about how some maids were guilty of causing baby deaths due to abuse or negligence. Scary!
 
Same here. Tts why I am choosing a bb sitter over a maid. But its understandable tt sometimes, maid might be a cheaper option esp, if u have 2 kids.
 
Hi All,
Just want to share my bad experience with you all here. Lately I've just had encounter with this maid agency named "Jrs Business Express Pte Ltd" located at 420 North Bridge Road, lady boss by the name of Naty. I shan't say what happened as its a long story. All I can say is Beware of this maid agency, they do not handle matters the legal and correct way in the eyes of the MOM, plus all the advices she gave are all wrong (found out after checking with the other maid agencies.) Nearly caused me a lot of trouble.
 
Hi,,

I think maid is better option than childcare. Children need attention. the more attention it receives, it become healthier. In a childcare, your children can have lots of friends and many toys and teacher to teach good things.. and many more. But individual care and attention, which is equally important to your child, will be less than maid. So, i have also went for maid.
 
Kate, i had employed a maid for this purpose, though still 7 months more before he turned 18 months to enrol into CC, i am already start to wonder whether is it necessary to spend double. Now he got 100% attention and what will happen if he did not get the 100% after he enrol to CC? Alot of questions start to pop out.

Anyone have anything to share?
 
lynnsan, personally, I would favor a maid over CC. ALthough it is true that preschool is important to prepare a child for primary school, at 18 months, it's still a little too early. Easily pick up germs/viruses through cross-infection with other kids of the same and different age groups (through teachers and siblings of kids in the class). My #2 will be arriving when my #1 is 21 months but I won't be sending him to CC yet. I'm planning to send him the year he turns 4. Think 3 years is long enough for him to get adjusted to school routine. Having said that, I have a maid and a parent at home to teach him what he needs to know (education, manners, social behaviour) and he interacts alot with the kids in his estate.
 
hmmm...there is pro & contra engaging maid compare to cc.
for sure if u have maid, u no need to take so many days leaves if your kid is sick & not allow to enter cc.
of course yr kid will have enuf rest.
while if u dont have maid and some1 taking care of them, u have to take leaves and once she is ok straightaway send them to cc while actually they still need rest due to just recover from sickness.

Just my concern
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but our choice is still cc because we dunt trust maid. i took so many leaves till need to take UPL. Just close eyes and have thicken face when need to apply leave.
 
i had a maid to help take care of my gal when she is 16mths old. sent her to childcare when she reaches 18mths as her sister is due soon.

i would say my elder gal enjoy every bit of her school. she will hug her bag and water bottle when it's time for school. she even off her favourite mickey cartoon when we tell her it's time for school. she's still enjoying school now, 4mths and counting. but i do realise she's getting more and more demanding and unreasonable. but i suspect it's my maid's doing. cos i observe my maid carrying her and giving in to her every request. cos my gal will scream really loud when she don't get what she wants. so maid actually gave in to her request just to keep her quiet. i believe that's the cause and not that of the childcare. my maid is spoiling my gal. and now i am thinking.. thinking hard if i should go maidless, send my no.2 to infant care. i got strong feeling at this rate they are going, they might just be one of those kids who shout/slap at maids on the streets.
 
hi

just wanna share, my son #1 was in CC b4 i give birth 2 my #2, intend 2 send him there so that my mum can care 4 #2...

but since i hve given birth 2 #2, after attending CC for 2 mth plus, #1 been sick non-stop, every wk he's sick & on medication 4 different sickness...

end up i decided 2 withdraw my #1 frm CC, aware tat kids attending CC tend 2 get sick but then when when i return 2 work, if my #1 kept on getting sick, every wk, my mum cannot attend to 2 kids, especially when one is sick & while #1 is sick he can't attend CC, & i can't b taking leave every wk/day..so make the decision 2 withdraw him till he's older/stronger...actually i never tot tat kids will get sick every wk when attend CC, if occassionally i'm still okie, can apply leave...& my #1 sickness, r those tat nds long period of recovery, like diarrhoea for 2 wks, vomit for a wk plus, HMFD for a wk...w these he nds 2 b at hm, can't attend CC....

quite unexpected turn of plan...end up i hve 2 search 4 alternate plans..which is nt beri ideal but hve 2 stick 2 it for the time being till my #1 is older...

maid was one option but we try nt 2 go for it unless no choice...so current plan is my mum & MIL will each take care of one kid...my MIL still hve 2 take care of my BIL's gal which is 5 mths old now...hope my MIL can cope...
 
hi sm,

maybe you can consider starting your son on fish oil? the white colour liquid with orange colour box? i was told to start my gal on that while hunting for childcare, the principal told me to start her as it helps strengthen her lungs, can boost her immunity against mild virus. i started my gal at abt 14mths. so far touch wood, my gal hardly miss school. even when her school have hfmd, she didn't get it, in fact i was the paranoid one, kept her away from school just in case she gets it and pass to my newborn. or maybe you can try feeding your son breastmilk? my gal was partially breastfed till about 1yr old. now i mix breastmilk into her bottle if she gets a bit of running nose etc.
 
hi Jaz

thanks 4 sharing....tink is base on individual kid ba...tink my son body is those weak type ba...actually b4 he started on CC, he already taking the fish oil but he start late at abt 17/18 mths ba...

actually i did add a bit of EBM into his formula (as recommended by my mum) for my son initial stage..then when he gets HFMD & diarrhoea, i stopped tat totally...dunno the formula izzit reacting w the EBM or wat...when my MIL learnt abt mi mixing it, she told mi nt to...but since then i never did mix 4 my son le....cos aso he been sick so often wanna keep his diet normal as b4 2 c wat really causes his sickness..

tat's y i told my hb how come ppl kids can attend CC w minimal sickness but mine is sick every wk..if he doesn't get sick so often i'll continue him in CC...so tat i get 2 c him everyday...
 
hi sm,

don't be upset. his immune will pick up in no time. actually breastmilk is the best for children, i feel. cos it's packed with live antibodies from us. that's what formula can't give. anyway, i think child's immune is one thing, centre hygiene and child's habit also plays a part.

does centre practise good hygiene, clean toys weekly, do you see an auntie in the centre cleaning, mopping away all the time? and also child's habit. like my gal, she likes to put things in her mouth, especially when she is teething, she bites her fingers toys etc. during that period, she gets flu and viral fever more often. teachers also highlights it to me, and only can ask them to help me keep a lookout. also ask how centre determine and separate kids who are sick. if children are sick still attends school, our child are bound to get it, since they are still at the stage where they uses their mouth to explore, they get expose to these virus very easily.

ya, understand how painful it is, not able to see him everyday. but seeing him sick all the time also very painful. really difficult for you to decide. Jia you, i'm sure you'll be able to come up with the best option for you and lil'l one.
 
hi Jaz

thanks 4 yr support...

my son till now still likes 2 put things in his mouth, so tat might b the reason 4 his sickness...told & scolded him aso no pt...

i do c the CC place their toys outside, 2 dry it? tink shd b...but din c anybody mopping / cleaning all the time...so far most of the time i went is in the morning & ard the time they r napping...but din c anybody cleaning/mopping...so aso dunno izzit CC no gd hygiene...i aso din ask abt separation of kids who r sick but tink they didn't ba....

currently can oni stick 2 tis option of one parent taking care of one kid, as we dun drive so can't bring them hm everyday...so each wkday can c oni one kid....i'll hve 2 stick 2 tis arrangement till my son older/stronger, probably will place him back in CC in yr 2011 or later part of 2010...shall c...currently just hope my MIL can cope w 2 kids....
 


Hi all,

My baby will be born in jun 2010.

i am thinking whether to get a maid or not..

please advise..

my area infant care mostly pack and still on waiting list.

i staying in Sengkang area.

Steven
 
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