jen_wong79
New Member
Me and my husband has been together for 10 yrs (Married for 5). We have 2 very young kids. He is always blowing up about something. He is always starting fights with me. At first I just try and let him vent. But it doesn’t always work. Every day I will wonder what I do is going to set him off. It could be anything, from the way I sweep the floor, clean the house, how long I take to shower / eat and even how I sit at home. Everything I do has to follow his instructions, which I see no point in doing that. Everyone has their way of doing things. Just like how we take different approaches towards an issue and still reach the same status. In a way, he is kinda chauvinist and autocratic. This happens 3 /4 times a month. I know he does work a lot and is tired, so am I. I am a full time working mum. Yes, being an only child I am used to being pampered by my parent. That does not mean I don’t try to be a good wife / mother. As per him, nothing I do is good enough for him. I use to actively volunteer to help with the house work, etc. He ends up flaring up again, saying I am doing everything wrong, not doing his way.. etc. End up he has to do EVERYTHING himself.
He always flares up and say nasty things to me. I quote an example. Last evening I was sitting on the floor charging / playing on my phone. Shortly after, I got up and went to the room to check on the baby. He came in and say, how come the floor is so oily? I replied, maybe because I sat on it. Then he told me of, why I have to sit on the floor making it dirty again? I say, why no. If it’s dirty , just clean it up again. This is what we are doing everyday. Then he proceed to yell at me saying I am not being a good wife / mother… I am now a mother of 2 , I should think before I act / speak. Honestly, I don’t see any issue with that. If next time my kids wants to sit on the floor or anywhere they like, I won’t restrict them. If the floor is dirty I can clean it up again. Most importantly, the thing I want to teach my kids is it’s ok to mess up as long as you know how to clean things. I don’t know why he’ll kick up such a big fuss over this.. I’ll just answer ok ,yes to all his rantings & he seems more agitated He then point his finger at me and raise his hand threatening to slap me. He will also threaten to move out or ask me to pack up and move out or back to my parents. If not for the kids, I will really want to pack up and leave. I am really weary & sick of this , so much I dread going home every day.
We have a domestic helper too, she mainly helps to take care of the younger baby. Everyday after work, we will rush home to sweep the floor, clean the tables etc so everyone can have ample rest. Then, we will have dinner at my MIL’s place and bring the kids home. Sometimes, his rantings makes me feel very down and depressed.
I have been thinking a lot of leaving but it will be very unfair to the kids. What should I do. At this point of time, maybe I am not thinking straight. I am not harbouring much thoughts, to save this marriage. I’ve had enough.
He always flares up and say nasty things to me. I quote an example. Last evening I was sitting on the floor charging / playing on my phone. Shortly after, I got up and went to the room to check on the baby. He came in and say, how come the floor is so oily? I replied, maybe because I sat on it. Then he told me of, why I have to sit on the floor making it dirty again? I say, why no. If it’s dirty , just clean it up again. This is what we are doing everyday. Then he proceed to yell at me saying I am not being a good wife / mother… I am now a mother of 2 , I should think before I act / speak. Honestly, I don’t see any issue with that. If next time my kids wants to sit on the floor or anywhere they like, I won’t restrict them. If the floor is dirty I can clean it up again. Most importantly, the thing I want to teach my kids is it’s ok to mess up as long as you know how to clean things. I don’t know why he’ll kick up such a big fuss over this.. I’ll just answer ok ,yes to all his rantings & he seems more agitated He then point his finger at me and raise his hand threatening to slap me. He will also threaten to move out or ask me to pack up and move out or back to my parents. If not for the kids, I will really want to pack up and leave. I am really weary & sick of this , so much I dread going home every day.
We have a domestic helper too, she mainly helps to take care of the younger baby. Everyday after work, we will rush home to sweep the floor, clean the tables etc so everyone can have ample rest. Then, we will have dinner at my MIL’s place and bring the kids home. Sometimes, his rantings makes me feel very down and depressed.
I have been thinking a lot of leaving but it will be very unfair to the kids. What should I do. At this point of time, maybe I am not thinking straight. I am not harbouring much thoughts, to save this marriage. I’ve had enough.