! A lady gave her bb to me for adoption and then took him away!

M

mus

Member
Hi i am in this shocking situation.. i donno what to do.. she kept promisin me she will give me her bb for adoption and after taking care of the bb for 3 months she says she doesnt want to give me anymore! she turns up after 3 months and said she wants to keep the bb for 2 weeks with her before giving him up for adoption, and that too not with her, with a nanny and asked me to pay for it $850 for 15 days! she wanted the bb , the money and all his stuff, refused to give me any of his paper work, n just gave me a consent letter that she would give me the bb for adoption after 2 weeks.. when i said i will pay her after she completes the adoption procedure.. she got angry n just took the bb away frm me.. i had become so attached to him.. keep crying thinking about him.. i am so confused, feel so cheated n used! what shd i do?
Any suggestions?
 


suggest u check with MCYS or relevant authorities with regards to legal form of adoption.

Otherwise, u wouldn't want to get yourself involve with illegal adoption... can be charge leh..
 
Looks like his biological mum wanted to have his baby back. If no legal document as in black and white was written,you will be in the losing stage.
 
Probably you should go through a legal way for adoption & perhaps his biological mum will feel as miserable as you if she gave her baby to you.
 
Oh pls.. she is not goin to keep the bb, she is probably searching for someone who can fill her pockets, she used me as a free bbsitter for all these months..all she needed was time!
 
mus,
i feel your heartache. It is really miserable to be separated from the baby after caring for him/her for 3 months.
I guess, you should have handled the paperwork/doc the legal way first cos now, there is nothing much that you can do. =(
What a horrible mum that person is. But cursing her is not gonna help here.
 
hi, the baby would have appreciated your care for 3 months, and perhaps you can look at the brighter side and treasure the memories.

rather than busking in your misery, why not spend your time and effort looking for another baby to adopt?
 
is it all right to report to the authorities? what a terrible mum. the bb must have suffered. that mum, thinking the bb is a ball is it? happy want to throw away, not happy wanna take back. really hate this kinda selfish pple
 
Hope e bb is in good hand
happy.gif
 
my sister gave her baby girl up for adoption in MCYS after she reach 2 months. they found a match quite quickly and money involved was only hospitalisation fee incurred by mommy. The baby was legally theirs after 6 months and they love her so much.

Legal adoption may involve long waiting time but is safer and legally binding. Hope you get another baby to shower your love with soon.

its sad to hear there are such moms around. pity the poor baby.
 
i dont think this is considered illegal adoption. based on my exchanges with the family service centre (project cherub), it is ok to 'source' for your own baby within Singapore. BUT you must go to law firm and get the necc paper work done.
 
I too hope that the BB is in good hands.

mus, pls take good care of yourself and don't stress yourself too much over this issue. Maybe this BB is not fated for you. You'll definitely find and have another BB that is fated for you. All the best!
 
Hi mus,
hope you are feeling better.

I don't know but if I'm in your position, I may offer some more money to the biological mom so that I can have the baby back. And at the same time, make sure all legal documents are processed.
Next, I will make sure I shift house and the mother will not be able to disturb us anymore - for the bettterment of the baby and me.

Take care!
 
Poor Mus.. how can that mother be so selfish to u and worse of all to her own baby... If she has decided and confirmed that she wanna give up.. she should have done it and not tug n pull in this kind of situation..not very good for the baby right ? Both for changing the baby living environment and development.."sighs" Pity that you did not quickly get the paperwork done.. safeguard yourself and most importantly protect the bb too..
 
i know long ago ppl in the past used to give their baby away but in this century who in the right mind who give away their baby!
 
<font color="119911">Hi Mus,

1. I am sorry to hear about your situation and please know that I share your grief.

2. Please take care of yourself and while your baby may not consciously remember you, he/she will sub-consciously remember your 3 months of tender loving care - short but probably the best motherly love he/she will ever experienced in this life of his/her.

3. May the biological mother of the special child come the to realisation that it is probably best for you to be his/her adopted mother. Am sure you will still allow the biological mother to see the child every now and then, despite what she has done to you, and the child.

4. The learning lesson for us all is that if we want to adopt a baby, let's go through the legal system.

5. The other possible adoption option might be via MCYS, only concern for this route is whether that will result in an open adoption (ie. complicate matters) but it is worth checking out as the MCYS option may be more cost effective than via a lawfirm.

6. If things doesn't go your way in the short-term, positively, one day in the future when the child has grown up, both of you might reunite again. I pray for this reunion between you and that special child of yours.

PS: By the way, what's his/her name and would you have his/her photograph, may want to post it here as he/she might come across this thread in the future and contact you via PM - do be patient and pray for the best.</font>

5150993.gif
 
hi mus, i know u r so brokenhearted now, but pls do not allow urself to fall into depression ok!! u probably think we cannot imagine the AMOUNT of love that u hv already given to this little baby, and yes, it's not the time factor that determines the LOVE and bonding btw u both. but trust us, this same LOVE can heal you too.

the bb is still so small, all he needs is physical and not emotional. so if the bitch can find him another family who can adopt him with the right figure that she is looking for, then i believe that family will take good care of him and satisfy his physical needs.

u need to take care of your own emotional needs, which is more impt. do not allow urself to sink further with this whole episode which is caused by tat idiotic mum. if the baby is not meant to be yours, learn to accept the truth.

it's perfectly fine to be sad, cry n allow urself to release those grief, but u MUST know when to COME OUT of it, alrite? it's not gonna be easy we all know.... but u need to take the good and leave the bad behind from this whole episode.

wat u r feeling now can be similar to "post natal depression", alot of mummies here had been thru it and we CAN walk out of it... just needs time and encouragement, and the WILL to do it.

i can undstd how u feel now, coz i also felt tat i hv LOST my bb(the one inside my tummy) after i gave birth, i juz cannot link the fact tat i hv already delivered her and she is NOW in my arms... i just missed the one INSIDE my tummy THEN. the missing part was terrible...

anyway my story aside, we want u to know tat u r ALREADY in this situation now, go thru it and at the end of it, u r back to square one. so pls get ready to start searching for another bb to adopt, tell urself tat u hv SOMETHING to do... dun spend too much time for this episode when there could be another bb waiting for u to adopt and love and provide him/her a loving family tat will CHANGE his/her life ok??

chin up gal! go cry all u want, try to do wat u can, if all else fail, rmb u need to MOVE ON, alrite? promise us tat u will do wat is BEST for urself!
 
I know how you feel. But maybe next time you should save yourself from unnecessary pain like this. Be sure to legalize every process so you wont be cheated.
 
I am a proud mummy of a beautiful 8 mth old bb girl whom I adopted from a local adoption agency. She's a local baby. We just completed the adoption process and served the Order To Adopt by the court. We now in the process of making her birthcert. There's a delay making her bc as there's some ammendments.

Recently..few weeks ago, I was shocked to receive an sms from my daughter's birth mother. In her sms, she stated that she &amp; her bf wanted to take care of her on every fridays &amp; saturdays. I was so shocked! Firstly- how on earth she got my hp number!

So, i ignored her.. i ignored all smses and calls from her.
i questioned the adoption agency and they deny giving out the information to her.

Few days later, came another sms frm her saying that they are really pissed that i have ignored their request and they are taking action. this time they wants my bb back. Also i ignored this threat but kept the smses just in case..

True enough, just last week, they knocked on my doors..she called my hp while knocking on my doors and i heard her saying to sm1" yes this is the address" Lucky i was on mc and left my bb at my MIL place. I panicked and didn't dare open the door. My hubby was doing OT and i was alone then.. Now she even got my address!! I called my mum who's staying few streets away about it and they too panicked. Don't ask me why- i myself dunno why i didn't call the police. They left after 20 mins outside my door..Still I didn't dare open the door to take a peek..

My bro, sis-in law and mum were getting ready to fetch me from my hse. When they opened the door, my bro saw sm1 outside my mum's place..but she dashed for the lift. Puzzled, My family ahead to the car and making their way to my place. They noticed the same girl and a guy at the void deck. Then they also got into another car. My bro grew suspicious as its like they are tailing them. My bro called me and told me of the situation at the same time drove to a NPC near my place. I called my hubby and relate to him the incident. I sneaked out and met my hubby at a shopping ctr nearby. My bro called and he said he can't make the report on my behalf. We end up making our way on our own to the next nearest NPC to make the report.

Report done. Next day, i was still traumatised by what happened. To think that not only she had my home address, she too have my mum's home address!! SCARY!! i am so worried for my child's safety! I still left my bb at my MIL's place. They knocked on my mum's place once again.. so this time, i called the police. they were interviewed by the police and advice to leave the premise. No arrest been made as they didn't cause any trouble but the police advice us that we can file a complaint to the majistrate @ high court.. *sigh which we'll do it tmrw.. i just don't understand.. we've been doing the adoption thingy the legal way, they already signed on the dotted line, and i felt that i am the criminal!
 
I guess the mother wants the baby back but it's also very irresponsible of her to do that. When she doesnt want, she threw it away. When she feel like having the baby back, she just snatched it back!
 
sorry it's a very tragic situation...you should concern the legal authorities about these and try to convince them to come in your favour.
 
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