9 months post partum and 7 weeks pregnant

[Syciarene]

I have difficult pregnancy and labor for my firstborn that lead to my post partum depression. My LO was very difficult to care for during the first 4 months of her life. My depression took the worst turn as suicidal thoughts came to me many times, it kills me inside. I bite it down and move on and finally my LO grown bigger, stop crying so much and easier to care for. I wanted to heal so I quit my toxic job, took up a new course while I was pregnant preparing for my next job hunt. Once LO settled in IFC, I would start looking for another better paying job. I even signed up for exercise classes to lose my pregnancy weight to get my health back on track. Just when I thought everything is going well, I saw two line on my test kits again. My world crushing down on me. My last caesarean was only 8 months ago and I am pregnant again. I started blaming myself why I did no prevention and believed my husband that it would not happen so easily.

Sorry for venting out in the forum as I am a confused mom. My husband wasn't seem so excited as he was when I had my first. I am feeling so much guilt cause my firstborn is still so young and I have to split my love with another sibling. I don't know if I can do a good job. I don't know if it is even okay to have the baby so close after I had my caesarean.

 

[CupofTea]

Hello, good job for overcoming your struggles with your firstborn. The journey is never easy. I think you should take time to evaluate your feelings and specific fears regarding your second pregnancy. My second was a surprise too, but I always wanted more than one kid and I saw it as a blessing. My thoughts were that I have/can arrange sufficient support to take responsibility and love the baby all the same. Don't worry about the gap, there are many with shorter gaps but do consult a gynae if you have any concerns over previous history. Most important is to not let the initial rush of feelings dictate your decision. Give yourself some grace and time.

 

[Syciarene]

Hello, good job for overcoming your struggles with your firstborn. The journey is never easy. I think you should take time to evaluate your feelings and specific fears regarding your second pregnancy. My second was a surprise too, but I always wanted more than one kid and I saw it as a blessing. My thoughts were that I have/can arrange sufficient support to take responsibility and love the baby all the same. Don't worry about the gap, there are many with shorter gaps but do consult a gynae if you have any concerns over previous history. Most important is to not let the initial rush of feelings dictate your decision. Give yourself some grace and time.

Thank you for the kind words. I wish to have a sibling for my LO but didn't expect it to be so soon. Since it happened, I may have to brace through this wave again. The first experience definitely freaks me out but I hope I can ride it out smoothly.

 

[Cherry90]

The newborn period sucks but my toddler makes us so happy now (most of the time. Lol)! As for the gap, i know of 2 friends who also became pregnant when their firstborns were 9 months old! One of them shared that it will definitely be tiring but fulfilling to watch the 2 siblings grow up close together it also matters to have a good support system though.. They had their in-laws/parents/helpers so maybe u can start to plan and engage more help nearer to your EDD (not trying to stress u here though). Jiayou!

 

[Syciarene]

The newborn period sucks but my toddler makes us so happy now (most of the time. Lol)! As for the gap, i know of 2 friends who also became pregnant when their firstborns were 9 months old! One of them shared that it will definitely be tiring but fulfilling to watch the 2 siblings grow up close together it also matters to have a good support system though.. They had their in-laws/parents/helpers so maybe u can start to plan and engage more help nearer to your EDD (not trying to stress u here though). Jiayou!

Thank you for the advise. Good that your friends have support from her family members. I reckoned that is very important. My MIL that lives opposite us refuse to help out even though I am struggling. Hence I have been taking care of my firstborn all alone since birth. It is super hard during the first few months, I can't even put her down so I basically have no time to eat/shower/toilet break. Hub don't like to live with stranger so hiring helper is crossed out. It was very depressing time for me back then and I wasn't sure if I can handle another one again.