3 kids & more - how do u cope
- Thread starter abigail_tan
- Start date
Thanks for sharing, Lydia, Choc06 & Chris... so glad to know I am not alone. I kept wondering if I am difficult to live with, which resulted in the sour r/s with my mil. Things got quite bad between us after her stay here. From the day she came, she made a lot of comments which made me feel that everything I did was bad or not up to par... I am always discouraged. And the funny thing is, the older kids behaved very badly whenever she stayed with us. Once she is gone, everyone is bk to their own self again n sticks within the rules. Strange, isn't it? I can't even bring myself to step into her house anymore... and she seemed to be gloating over my struggles now. She also had 4 kids herself, so she thinks that it is nothing. She said we made the choice to have so many kids, so we must 'bear the consequences' ourselves lor. I am just glad she has left but at the same time, dread about how we will face each other when I go back to Sg in future.
I am sure I will be chatting a lot with u ladies over the phone if I am back in Sg now... I am just so glad that all you experienced moms-of-many are here to share and support me. I have lots to learn and cope with the latest addition.
Chris, I fully understand how you feel! My #3 is 31 months now and also at that terrible twos stage... he kept sticking to me me too.. and I had to let him watch DVDs to let me have time to bf the baby. I struggled with spending individual time with the kids too and I find myself always losing my temper at the 2 older ones coz they are always squabbling when they get back from school. I tried to talk to them properly but it seems hard to maintain a proper conversation with them. I will feel a lot of guilt about not spending time with them once all of them are in bed at night. I think I am stressed subconsciously once all 4 are home, so I get very high strung. I hope I am a lot more patient.
Regarding weekends, what we did was to bring everyone out to the park/ zoo/ supermarket/ breakfast early in the morning and wear them out so that everyone will konk out in the afternoon. Or else, we will have endless havoc in the house! Try that... just go out for a while and you get a breather for that day's afternoon. Hope your current maid is working out. Housework is really no joke with so many at home, esp laundry & dishes!
I am sure I will be chatting a lot with u ladies over the phone if I am back in Sg now... I am just so glad that all you experienced moms-of-many are here to share and support me. I have lots to learn and cope with the latest addition.
Chris, I fully understand how you feel! My #3 is 31 months now and also at that terrible twos stage... he kept sticking to me me too.. and I had to let him watch DVDs to let me have time to bf the baby. I struggled with spending individual time with the kids too and I find myself always losing my temper at the 2 older ones coz they are always squabbling when they get back from school. I tried to talk to them properly but it seems hard to maintain a proper conversation with them. I will feel a lot of guilt about not spending time with them once all of them are in bed at night. I think I am stressed subconsciously once all 4 are home, so I get very high strung. I hope I am a lot more patient.
Regarding weekends, what we did was to bring everyone out to the park/ zoo/ supermarket/ breakfast early in the morning and wear them out so that everyone will konk out in the afternoon. Or else, we will have endless havoc in the house! Try that... just go out for a while and you get a breather for that day's afternoon. Hope your current maid is working out. Housework is really no joke with so many at home, esp laundry & dishes!
najmom2004
Member
hi mummies,
long time didn't log in..very busy, quite depressed at times...sometimes happy..complicated..
how is everyone?
my baby is finally sleeping longer otherwise he's at the breast 1hr then sleep haf hr then feed again..
m&m,
my kids behave the same when their mil or visitors are around. but when no one ard..they are well behaved,quiet.its like when ppl are around they want to show off all their bad traits..kids..sometimes i just close 1 eye if good mood lah...
my 4th, she's been asking to go out alot..must be super bored..i really need to get the twin stroller cos once she's out , she'll be running around.
chia yo to all mummies!
btw, i went to fetch my son from school, brought all and a lady in the lift asked "wah! all these your kids ah? "
long time didn't log in..very busy, quite depressed at times...sometimes happy..complicated..
how is everyone?
my baby is finally sleeping longer otherwise he's at the breast 1hr then sleep haf hr then feed again..
m&m,
my kids behave the same when their mil or visitors are around. but when no one ard..they are well behaved,quiet.its like when ppl are around they want to show off all their bad traits..kids..sometimes i just close 1 eye if good mood lah...
my 4th, she's been asking to go out alot..must be super bored..i really need to get the twin stroller cos once she's out , she'll be running around.
chia yo to all mummies!
btw, i went to fetch my son from school, brought all and a lady in the lift asked "wah! all these your kids ah? "
Hi Najmom, I am feeling just like you... depressed on some days and fine on others... I am also struggling with my emotions. I felt that I went thru a lot with this pregnancy... moving from Taipei to Shanghai, dealing with mil's r/s, hubby's constant travelling... I felt like I am handling everything alone and no one understood. I guess it will take a while long for our postpartum hormones to settle down. I can't control my feelings either. I just try not to think about the negative stuff.
People will stare at us and start counting the number of kids we have whenever we go out on weekends as well. Mainland Chinese are very envious of big families coz they are only allowed 1 child. So they will chat us up and ask where we are from. It is quite stressful going out sometimes coz we get stared at like a circus troop. One irritating thing here is dining out coz there is always people smoking in the restaurants. So imagine all the kids (not forgetting the infant) inhaling all the 2nd hand smoke! Sigh... terrible habit of the mainland Chinese. ahhh... so many gripes from a postpartum mom!
People will stare at us and start counting the number of kids we have whenever we go out on weekends as well. Mainland Chinese are very envious of big families coz they are only allowed 1 child. So they will chat us up and ask where we are from. It is quite stressful going out sometimes coz we get stared at like a circus troop. One irritating thing here is dining out coz there is always people smoking in the restaurants. So imagine all the kids (not forgetting the infant) inhaling all the 2nd hand smoke! Sigh... terrible habit of the mainland Chinese. ahhh... so many gripes from a postpartum mom!
Haha najmom, I get the same question as you from strangers and hawkers too, once i replied a woman, "Err.. half of these children are mine and half are my husband's".. She broke out into laughter and I just kept quiet.. hehe..
Hey m&m,
I stayed in SH for 2 years and that time, I only had 2 kids.. I already got all the stares and weird looks and they always asked me if my 2 girls are twins( my girls are 2 yrs apart, and one was toddling while the other was walking by herself):0 . Some asked where we were from, what my hb was doing in SH and HOW MUCH we were paid.. haha.. they must be thinking we are very well off to have 2 kids! So hb and i didn't answer them aft a while( v rude of us, but they were not offended)
I can understand the irritating smoke everywhere
and the dirty toilets.. one thing I missed there is the fresh vegetables and fruits in season. My hb loves the Bi4 Feng1 Tang2 dim sum.. yumz
hang in there najmom and m&m,
Very fast your babies will grow up and it'll be lots of fun.. It's normal to feel depressed aft birth. It took me abt 6 months, and hb was always traveling. Even up till now, some days I look like a crazy woman shouting and screaming for things to get done and esp when I m tired.. I pray and ask God for strength and patience daily..
Hey chris,
ya, my no. 2 and 3 are very active too,. so I let my no.3 do puzzles by himself , told him i'll reward him by giving a sweet or go down to scoot on the skate scooter when i'm free. Maybe you can try simple puzzles for your no. 3?
Take care and jia you
Hey m&m,
I stayed in SH for 2 years and that time, I only had 2 kids.. I already got all the stares and weird looks and they always asked me if my 2 girls are twins( my girls are 2 yrs apart, and one was toddling while the other was walking by herself):0 . Some asked where we were from, what my hb was doing in SH and HOW MUCH we were paid.. haha.. they must be thinking we are very well off to have 2 kids! So hb and i didn't answer them aft a while( v rude of us, but they were not offended)
I can understand the irritating smoke everywhere
hang in there najmom and m&m,
Very fast your babies will grow up and it'll be lots of fun.. It's normal to feel depressed aft birth. It took me abt 6 months, and hb was always traveling. Even up till now, some days I look like a crazy woman shouting and screaming for things to get done and esp when I m tired.. I pray and ask God for strength and patience daily..
Hey chris,
ya, my no. 2 and 3 are very active too,. so I let my no.3 do puzzles by himself , told him i'll reward him by giving a sweet or go down to scoot on the skate scooter when i'm free. Maybe you can try simple puzzles for your no. 3?
Take care and jia you
Hi Choc06, I din know you stayed in SH before as well. So you can totally understand my situation now, hahaha... These Chinese are really strange, right? In Taiwan, we also always get strangers asking us how much salary is my hubby drawing, how much is our rental, etc... we also ignored them. Why should we tell them? Hmm... BTW, I tried to PM you but your account doesnt accept messages. If you have an msn account, PM me your username and we can chat 
.
I am like you, behaving like a crazy woman when I m stressed or tired. I prayed every night that God will soften my heart and grant me patience towards my kids. One of the situations that make me tick is when my 2 older kids squabble over the most trivial thing. Geez... I kept reminding myself they are kids, so they are just behaving like one, so I need to lower my expectations of them. I feel I am like their stepmother sometimes, haha.
. I am like you, behaving like a crazy woman when I m stressed or tired. I prayed every night that God will soften my heart and grant me patience towards my kids. One of the situations that make me tick is when my 2 older kids squabble over the most trivial thing. Geez... I kept reminding myself they are kids, so they are just behaving like one, so I need to lower my expectations of them. I feel I am like their stepmother sometimes, haha.
m&m,
Sometimes kids can really make us crazy...i sometimes will be quite angry with them also,esp when I just came back from work and tire..
maybe mommies here can try to let ur kids play on this website...my little gal love it alot and normally tat'll bring her noti and sticky away from me for a while,it'll also teach the phonics and reading for young kids..hehehe..
www.starfall.com
Sometimes kids can really make us crazy...i sometimes will be quite angry with them also,esp when I just came back from work and tire..
maybe mommies here can try to let ur kids play on this website...my little gal love it alot and normally tat'll bring her noti and sticky away from me for a while,it'll also teach the phonics and reading for young kids..hehehe..
www.starfall.com
Hey Lydia, ya, my no.3 likes starfall too, other printable sites include abcteach.com and kidszone.com
hey m&m, yes, I feel like a step mum too
..
My 2 gals squabble too, so it came to a stage where i told them to settle on their own, cos if I "the policewoman" step in, the cane will come.. Haha.. very mean hor, really bo pian, I told them I can't be settling their squabbles everytime,esp when i'm busy and asked them what they do when they have disagreement with their sch friends.
So nowadays, they'll think twice before coming to me, or else i make them stay in their room, make up with one another then they are allowed to come out..
Also like you, it made me think how i behaved when i was a child and how my mum tackled us
I dunno why my pm doesn't work, do i have to activate anything, sorry, still living in dinosaur age
hey m&m, yes, I feel like a step mum too
My 2 gals squabble too, so it came to a stage where i told them to settle on their own, cos if I "the policewoman" step in, the cane will come.. Haha.. very mean hor, really bo pian, I told them I can't be settling their squabbles everytime,esp when i'm busy and asked them what they do when they have disagreement with their sch friends.
So nowadays, they'll think twice before coming to me, or else i make them stay in their room, make up with one another then they are allowed to come out..
Also like you, it made me think how i behaved when i was a child and how my mum tackled us
I dunno why my pm doesn't work, do i have to activate anything, sorry, still living in dinosaur age
Dear mummies,
Nice to hear from you and thanks for the advices and encouraging words. I need to pray harder to ask GOD to grant me the patience. I'm losing it as the days go by. Especially I feel not fair to the elder two coz I spend less attention to them. Whenever they raised questions, fights etc I tends to refer them to daddy or ask them to keep quiet and settle it themselves.
Thanks for those website. I will try to log in tonight and see if it can keep one or two kids occupied.
As for puzzle, I've tried on my kids and they have no patience ( like mummy ). They just cannot sit still. The 1st one is better now, at least she can just sit for hour to draw & color by herself.
Nice to hear from you and thanks for the advices and encouraging words. I need to pray harder to ask GOD to grant me the patience. I'm losing it as the days go by. Especially I feel not fair to the elder two coz I spend less attention to them. Whenever they raised questions, fights etc I tends to refer them to daddy or ask them to keep quiet and settle it themselves.
Thanks for those website. I will try to log in tonight and see if it can keep one or two kids occupied.
As for puzzle, I've tried on my kids and they have no patience ( like mummy ). They just cannot sit still. The 1st one is better now, at least she can just sit for hour to draw & color by herself.
Hi Chris, I did what you did as well... referring the kids to daddy whenever they fight. I just felt that it is hard to mediate between the older kids. Either way, one of them will feel unfairly treated. So recently, I tell them to settle it themselves since daddy is constantly travelling and hardly around. My hands are already full with the 2 younger ones!
Don't be disheartened. I always feel that I am losing it too... and there are days when I felt like I am doing a really bad job, esp after I caned them or screamed at them. (Choc06, I thot I was one of the few moms who still cane their kids these days... so glad to know I am not alone. Hahaha...) Sharing with all you mommies in this thread made me feel I am not alone and we are going thru similar struggles. We live in a stressful society and with kids who are more difficult to handle this present day, it is no wonder we would snap and feel discouraged.
I have the same struggles as you do regarding the older ones. I spend a lot lesser time with them and to be honest, I felt that it drains me a lot more to take care of them. They are at an age where they challenge a lot of what I say/do and they compare with each other in everything. My eldest boy kept asking me things which I cannot answer and I always hv to think so hard over his questions. I really think I am such an inexperienced mom and so often, I have no idea how to tackle his questions at all! There is so much to learn and every kid is different, so I have to try different methods to see which works. I guess the learning curve is always difficult and full of setbacks. We just have to hang in there and do what we can without being too hard on ourselves. 1 middle aged woman in Taiwan told me this when she saw me with many kids: Raising kids is never easy. One important skill is to learn when to hold on to the string and when to loosen it as in flying a kite. How true!
Don't be disheartened. I always feel that I am losing it too... and there are days when I felt like I am doing a really bad job, esp after I caned them or screamed at them. (Choc06, I thot I was one of the few moms who still cane their kids these days
... so glad to know I am not alone. Hahaha...) Sharing with all you mommies in this thread made me feel I am not alone and we are going thru similar struggles. We live in a stressful society and with kids who are more difficult to handle this present day, it is no wonder we would snap and feel discouraged. I have the same struggles as you do regarding the older ones. I spend a lot lesser time with them and to be honest, I felt that it drains me a lot more to take care of them. They are at an age where they challenge a lot of what I say/do and they compare with each other in everything. My eldest boy kept asking me things which I cannot answer and I always hv to think so hard over his questions. I really think I am such an inexperienced mom and so often, I have no idea how to tackle his questions at all! There is so much to learn and every kid is different, so I have to try different methods to see which works. I guess the learning curve is always difficult and full of setbacks. We just have to hang in there and do what we can without being too hard on ourselves. 1 middle aged woman in Taiwan told me this when she saw me with many kids: Raising kids is never easy. One important skill is to learn when to hold on to the string and when to loosen it as in flying a kite. How true!
m&m,
It's true enough sometimes we cant answer questions which they bring back from their friends or from schools..hehehe..sometimes when they back from school will like the birdie chip chip chip non stop..(sometimes can be quite tiring esp when you're tire but it's their nature to ask non stop one after another..hehe)
Nowadays,when they ask me questions,I will on the pc and show them youtube on the actual image..like what is the fire fighter doing???at least they can see from the youtube rather then just heard you explain.Nowadays kids learn more advance things in school or among the school mate unlike us who so suaku at their age,so parents need to upgrade ourself too to suit the world..sign
"The Flying kite" skill always works...(no matter in kids or in man...hehehehe)..
Welcome Eve&Adam Family, if government can give those who already give birth one more baby bonus will cheers us la or else we only can envy those new born only lor...hehehe
It's true enough sometimes we cant answer questions which they bring back from their friends or from schools..hehehe..sometimes when they back from school will like the birdie chip chip chip non stop..(sometimes can be quite tiring esp when you're tire but it's their nature to ask non stop one after another..hehe)
Nowadays,when they ask me questions,I will on the pc and show them youtube on the actual image..like what is the fire fighter doing???at least they can see from the youtube rather then just heard you explain.Nowadays kids learn more advance things in school or among the school mate unlike us who so suaku at their age,so parents need to upgrade ourself too to suit the world..sign
"The Flying kite" skill always works...(no matter in kids or in man...hehehehe)..
Welcome Eve&Adam Family, if government can give those who already give birth one more baby bonus will cheers us la or else we only can envy those new born only lor...hehehe
hi mummies,
I fully agree with you. Thanks for being here to hear my sharing and thanks for sharing with me your experiences and methods. I'm surviving and hope to see improvement. Sigh....
"Flying kite" on kids, does it means sometime got discipline them and sometime loosen the discipline ? Sorry, I don't understand this powerful skill. Kindly advise.
I fully agree with you. Thanks for being here to hear my sharing and thanks for sharing with me your experiences and methods. I'm surviving and hope to see improvement. Sigh....
"Flying kite" on kids, does it means sometime got discipline them and sometime loosen the discipline ? Sorry, I don't understand this powerful skill. Kindly advise.
najmom2004
Member
hi mummies,
missed so many post , how is everyone?
long time never log in, busy...last week my baby had a growth spurt plus stuffy nose..keep on crying, wants to be carried and my 4th also teething and fever...almost gone nuts! told myself it'll get better soon...
i feel guilty too cos have lesser time with the elder ones..sometimes i feel like giving up breastfeeding so that i can spend more time with the rest. But, breastmilk is the best.
i pray god give me strength and patience too...jia you everyone...
we should have meet ups sometime..or facebook? m&m i know you can't access
missed so many post , how is everyone?
long time never log in, busy...last week my baby had a growth spurt plus stuffy nose..keep on crying, wants to be carried and my 4th also teething and fever...almost gone nuts! told myself it'll get better soon...
i feel guilty too cos have lesser time with the elder ones..sometimes i feel like giving up breastfeeding so that i can spend more time with the rest. But, breastmilk is the best.
i pray god give me strength and patience too...jia you everyone...
we should have meet ups sometime..or facebook? m&m i know you can't access
Hi mummies,
CNY is coming... how's the preparation? Here I wish all the Chinese mummies has a great CNY with family and friends ! A happy and blessed year ahead !
I will be back to hometown ( M'sia, 8 hours drive ) for the next 10 days. Will be challenging to keep the kids entertain in the car. Hee...
Yes, would like to meet up you all outside this forum such as facebook to see your kids and family photos....can ? You can add me at [email protected]
Thanks !
Lydia,
I can't log in to msn at work. At home is impossible to on my desktop coz once I on my pc, all kids will surround me and start fighting over pressing the keyboard !
CNY is coming... how's the preparation? Here I wish all the Chinese mummies has a great CNY with family and friends ! A happy and blessed year ahead !
I will be back to hometown ( M'sia, 8 hours drive ) for the next 10 days. Will be challenging to keep the kids entertain in the car. Hee...
Yes, would like to meet up you all outside this forum such as facebook to see your kids and family photos....can ? You can add me at [email protected]
Thanks !
Lydia,
I can't log in to msn at work. At home is impossible to on my desktop coz once I on my pc, all kids will surround me and start fighting over pressing the keyboard !
hi najmom, glad to see you back in action again... I kena blocked ducts yesterday and broke out in chills n fever last night. Aiyoh... now whole body aching. Hubby came from Sg for just 1 day and he flew off again this morning. Sigh....
BTW, I can access facebook now! Yeah... I downloaded a VPN software and managed to get past the Great Firewall to access FB! I will PM you my account. Chris, will add you. 'See' you ladies online then!
BTW, I can access facebook now! Yeah... I downloaded a VPN software and managed to get past the Great Firewall to access FB! I will PM you my account. Chris, will add you. 'See' you ladies online then!
Hi m&m,
how are you today? I also kena blocked ducts on my 1st and last confinements. Got to take antibiotic and the so sad to pour my EBM away for a few days. I wish you speedy recovery.
I think I receive your invitation in facebook but I can't access it in my company. And these few days, there is no chance to log in at home. Got to do the packing of clothing and stuffs since we will be away for 10 days soon. Headache packing for baby things coz there are really a lot.
Take care !
how are you today? I also kena blocked ducts on my 1st and last confinements. Got to take antibiotic and the so sad to pour my EBM away for a few days. I wish you speedy recovery.
I think I receive your invitation in facebook but I can't access it in my company. And these few days, there is no chance to log in at home. Got to do the packing of clothing and stuffs since we will be away for 10 days soon. Headache packing for baby things coz there are really a lot.
Take care !
najmom2004
Member
hi m&m
blocked ducts, aww can feel the pain....sooo painful right? me was prepared to get it but this time my milk ss soooo low that i don't even get engorgement..tried so many method to increase the milk like fenugeek, nursing tea, lactate support..only to just alittle. :-( so , i just feed on demand...take care ya? if you follow the dec mtb, ivy taught some mummies how to clear the blocked duct..hope you find it useful.
Chris
8hrs drive , wow... my kids 4 hrs drive to kl already asking, are we there yet? are we lost? blablabla...hehehe...be sure to bring things to entertain them.enjoy..
blocked ducts, aww can feel the pain....sooo painful right? me was prepared to get it but this time my milk ss soooo low that i don't even get engorgement..tried so many method to increase the milk like fenugeek, nursing tea, lactate support..only to just alittle. :-( so , i just feed on demand...take care ya? if you follow the dec mtb, ivy taught some mummies how to clear the blocked duct..hope you find it useful.
Chris
8hrs drive , wow... my kids 4 hrs drive to kl already asking, are we there yet? are we lost? blablabla...hehehe...be sure to bring things to entertain them.enjoy..
hi mommies,
Happy Chinese New Year!
Thanks, Chris & najmom. I am fine now... kept taking panadols for 2 days and fed the gal continuously. Managed to clear the clot. Whew!
I was very busy the past week coz my day helper here in SH has gone back to her hometown for 9 days to spend CNY there. Had to cook and do the massive amount of laundry. Haha... been so pampered with the lady doing the housework. I am coping fine so far and I am so glad.
Well, I didn't go back to SG for CNY, so it is just like any other day for my family here in SH. We just did the usual stuff as we do on normal weekends, so it felt quite boring actually. The kids are just happy that they dun have to go to school, so they just stayed home and played PS3. Haha... what a boring way to spend CNY!
It was blasting with fireworks last night at 12 midnight tho, with 30 or more fireworks happening around my home at the same time. The whole sky was smoky - brings to mind the scene of a battlefield actually. Quite scary... 'bombing' sounds going on for more than an hour! but then again, it is also refreshing... hmm.. how about you mommies? It must be quite a sight for you all to bring your kids visiting ah?
Happy Chinese New Year!
Thanks, Chris & najmom. I am fine now... kept taking panadols for 2 days and fed the gal continuously. Managed to clear the clot. Whew!
I was very busy the past week coz my day helper here in SH has gone back to her hometown for 9 days to spend CNY there. Had to cook and do the massive amount of laundry. Haha... been so pampered with the lady doing the housework
. I am coping fine so far and I am so glad. Well, I didn't go back to SG for CNY, so it is just like any other day for my family here in SH. We just did the usual stuff as we do on normal weekends, so it felt quite boring actually. The kids are just happy that they dun have to go to school, so they just stayed home and played PS3. Haha... what a boring way to spend CNY!
It was blasting with fireworks last night at 12 midnight tho, with 30 or more fireworks happening around my home at the same time. The whole sky was smoky - brings to mind the scene of a battlefield actually. Quite scary... 'bombing' sounds going on for more than an hour! but then again, it is also refreshing... hmm.. how about you mommies? It must be quite a sight for you all to bring your kids visiting ah?
Hi Lydia,
Times flies. A week school hols has just gone. Now everybody go back to the routine ie. do homework, attend tuition, check shool bags etc...
Hi all mummies,
Long time no chat. How's all doing?
I've met up with friends for the last weekend. Manage to get to know that if i want to migrate to australia i have to do it quick coz the entry is restricted for those above 45.
I wonder if I migrate over, can i live without a helper? Coz i don't think we can get a maid over there. Housework would be overwhelming esp my 3rd one is just 3 years old and the youngest one is 1 year old. How do I cope without friends and relatives ? In a new environment ? But of course there are plus if we are out from S'pore. At least I do not have to work full-time and the kids not so stressfull in their education. Me too lesser stress to monitor their school bags and to catch up with their revisions.
Times flies. A week school hols has just gone. Now everybody go back to the routine ie. do homework, attend tuition, check shool bags etc...
Hi all mummies,
Long time no chat. How's all doing?
I've met up with friends for the last weekend. Manage to get to know that if i want to migrate to australia i have to do it quick coz the entry is restricted for those above 45.
I wonder if I migrate over, can i live without a helper? Coz i don't think we can get a maid over there. Housework would be overwhelming esp my 3rd one is just 3 years old and the youngest one is 1 year old. How do I cope without friends and relatives ? In a new environment ? But of course there are plus if we are out from S'pore. At least I do not have to work full-time and the kids not so stressfull in their education. Me too lesser stress to monitor their school bags and to catch up with their revisions.
constancet
New Member
Hi. Just stumbled upon this thread. I have 4 kids. Eldest p1 and youngest 7mths old. Chaotic life!
I m very lucky cos my mil look after 2 and my maid look after two and my hb wrk shift. I'm used to be SAHM but now wrk office hr and I'm young parent so I wrk very hard to make sure I can provide them in everything. Sad to say, I don't have time for all of them but they're very understand
I have 4 kids too . 9,6,3 and 1.
The 9yo is quite taxing coz I need to guide her on her studies. Though she has tuitions but I still need to push her to study and revise for her studies else she can just sit for hours watching TV or playing PC games.
The 2nd one is 6yo and going to P1 next year. He is quite slow in his learning. He has joined the phonic enrichment group for the past one year but still unable to read. Then I pulled him out to 1-1 tuition which has been for 5 months, he just master the basic sounds and can't really blend into words. Sigh....I'm quite stress coz what if he still can't read in P1 then how can he follow in the class ?? Any advices for me from the mummies here ?
The 3rd one is in her terrible 2. She will reach 3yo next month. Now every single things at home is HERS. Sometimes her daddy really cannot stand her and wants to use the cane. Of course I'm there to stop him. I'm not sure if I too protect her/spoil her, but I feel that she is still too young to control her action.
And my 4th, he is 17mth and always stick to my maid coz my maid is his main care-giver and sleep with him. Many times, I try to make him sleep by myself but he just cried and does not want me at all. When the maid carries him, he will stop and sleep peacefully on her shoulder. I feel worry yet jealous..but I can't change the fact and his preference...sigh...
That's all about my kids. Both me and my hubby works full-time from Monday to Friday. 3 elder kids are at the care centre from 7am to 7pm and the younger baby at home with two maids and my mil.
The 9yo is quite taxing coz I need to guide her on her studies. Though she has tuitions but I still need to push her to study and revise for her studies else she can just sit for hours watching TV or playing PC games.
The 2nd one is 6yo and going to P1 next year. He is quite slow in his learning. He has joined the phonic enrichment group for the past one year but still unable to read. Then I pulled him out to 1-1 tuition which has been for 5 months, he just master the basic sounds and can't really blend into words. Sigh....I'm quite stress coz what if he still can't read in P1 then how can he follow in the class ?? Any advices for me from the mummies here ?
The 3rd one is in her terrible 2. She will reach 3yo next month. Now every single things at home is HERS. Sometimes her daddy really cannot stand her and wants to use the cane. Of course I'm there to stop him. I'm not sure if I too protect her/spoil her, but I feel that she is still too young to control her action.
And my 4th, he is 17mth and always stick to my maid coz my maid is his main care-giver and sleep with him. Many times, I try to make him sleep by myself but he just cried and does not want me at all. When the maid carries him, he will stop and sleep peacefully on her shoulder. I feel worry yet jealous..but I can't change the fact and his preference...sigh...
That's all about my kids. Both me and my hubby works full-time from Monday to Friday. 3 elder kids are at the care centre from 7am to 7pm and the younger baby at home with two maids and my mil.
jershejos
Member
Chris, salute u for having 4... I have 3 and surrendered!
On the education stuff, ur eldest is like mine. But what's her results like? Mine was all along Band 2 but when come to P5, everything tumble as there's a gap from P4 to P5 and P6 stuff are pushed to P5 etc... sucks... LOL
For ur 2nd one, may want to consider dyslexia check if he continue.
My 3rd is just like urs but I'd long started using cane... they cannot control, reasoning also no use, hence the painful thing will tell them what is forbidden... not very hard lah!
I face almost the same problem as u when I had my 2nd gal, then I was hospitalised for a while due to complication. When I'm back home, the girl practically don't want me, it's sad but as time goes by, they will understand. And, how I wish my 3rd was not taken care by me alone... he is like a leech!!!
On the education stuff, ur eldest is like mine. But what's her results like? Mine was all along Band 2 but when come to P5, everything tumble as there's a gap from P4 to P5 and P6 stuff are pushed to P5 etc... sucks... LOL
For ur 2nd one, may want to consider dyslexia check if he continue.
My 3rd is just like urs but I'd long started using cane... they cannot control, reasoning also no use, hence the painful thing will tell them what is forbidden... not very hard lah!
I face almost the same problem as u when I had my 2nd gal, then I was hospitalised for a while due to complication. When I'm back home, the girl practically don't want me, it's sad but as time goes by, they will understand. And, how I wish my 3rd was not taken care by me alone... he is like a leech!!!
constancet
New Member
Vivienne
wow! Your kids ages are very close!
Mine are 7,4.5,3 and 8mth.
My No 1 who is in P1 is quite KS abt his studies. Good in a way cos it helps to set gd example for the youngest ones.
I am more worried abt my no 3.
Yeah, Sue, same as you, i also use the cane when all else works.
It is the MOST EFFECTIVE way of getting them to stop whinning and listen!
actually quite bad, but no choice....
Sue, Chris
your 3rd ones also dec 07 bb?
Mine too..
wow! Your kids ages are very close!
Mine are 7,4.5,3 and 8mth.
My No 1 who is in P1 is quite KS abt his studies. Good in a way cos it helps to set gd example for the youngest ones.
I am more worried abt my no 3.
Yeah, Sue, same as you, i also use the cane when all else works.
It is the MOST EFFECTIVE way of getting them to stop whinning and listen!
actually quite bad, but no choice....
Sue, Chris
your 3rd ones also dec 07 bb?
Mine too..
Hi all,
Chance upon this thread too. Am so glad!
My 3 gals are 7,4 & 2, my unplanned twins gals coming out in 2 wks time.
I really finds it very scary and not sure if i can cope not. Good to know this group and hope to learn from u all here.
Btw, juz to check if any mummy here did ligation here? I planned to do it since i will be doing c-sect for the twins, but was told by my gynae that it is not 100% since i got swelling right after birth. Any advise here?
Thanks.
Chance upon this thread too. Am so glad!
My 3 gals are 7,4 & 2, my unplanned twins gals coming out in 2 wks time.
I really finds it very scary and not sure if i can cope not. Good to know this group and hope to learn from u all here.
Btw, juz to check if any mummy here did ligation here? I planned to do it since i will be doing c-sect for the twins, but was told by my gynae that it is not 100% since i got swelling right after birth. Any advise here?
Thanks.
hi mommies,
my #3 is June 07, also in his terrible twos(threes) stage now! He is super stubborn and I had to cane him coz he would attack my #2 gal. She is always very nice to him, so he would bully her. He would go and bite her or kick or without any reason at all. I reckon he wants her attention but he doesnt know how to go about it the right way... Sigh.. tahan till 4 yo and I think he would be more sensible.
My #4 is 10 months old now... learning to walk and she is super sticky to me. Bugs me all day long to carry her. She would run after me in her walker n pull my pants so I would carry her.
I find myself very divided everyday when I had to help my eldest 2 (P2 and P1) with their school work. I ended up very pek chek and scold them sometimes coz all 4 want my attention at the same time and my hubby is hardly around. He either works till 7plus or is travelling, so I mostly cope on my own. It can get very tiring esp when we are now living overseas and are on our own.
Doblue38,
I had an IUS inserted just 2 months ago. It is actually called Mirena. It is quite good coz all it takes is 5 mins to insert and it lasts for 5 years. The thing I like most about it is that it causes very little menses and none at all for some people. The only thing u have to put up with is spotting for the 1st three months of insertion. I just came across this article today regarding contraception. http://health.asiaone.com/Health/Women%2527s%2BMatters/Sexual%2BHealth/Story/A1Story20101005-240728.html
I really cannot imagine having more kids. I know how you feel about the arrival of 2 more. It is daunting but hey, I believe that we will be the envy of many people when we grow older coz our families will be so much more livelier! Take heart! You are not alone... all of us are here for each other and to support each other through such tough moments.
my #3 is June 07, also in his terrible twos(threes) stage now! He is super stubborn and I had to cane him coz he would attack my #2 gal. She is always very nice to him, so he would bully her. He would go and bite her or kick or without any reason at all. I reckon he wants her attention but he doesnt know how to go about it the right way... Sigh.. tahan till 4 yo and I think he would be more sensible.
My #4 is 10 months old now... learning to walk and she is super sticky to me. Bugs me all day long to carry her. She would run after me in her walker n pull my pants so I would carry her.
I find myself very divided everyday when I had to help my eldest 2 (P2 and P1) with their school work. I ended up very pek chek and scold them sometimes coz all 4 want my attention at the same time and my hubby is hardly around. He either works till 7plus or is travelling, so I mostly cope on my own. It can get very tiring esp when we are now living overseas and are on our own.
Doblue38,
I had an IUS inserted just 2 months ago. It is actually called Mirena. It is quite good coz all it takes is 5 mins to insert and it lasts for 5 years. The thing I like most about it is that it causes very little menses and none at all for some people. The only thing u have to put up with is spotting for the 1st three months of insertion. I just came across this article today regarding contraception. http://health.asiaone.com/Health/Women%2527s%2BMatters/Sexual%2BHealth/Story/A1Story20101005-240728.html
I really cannot imagine having more kids. I know how you feel about the arrival of 2 more. It is daunting but hey, I believe that we will be the envy of many people when we grow older coz our families will be so much more livelier! Take heart! You are not alone... all of us are here for each other and to support each other through such tough moments.
Hi Doblue38,
I actually did a ligation right after birth of my 3rd one. I should have done it when I had my 3rd but delayed coz my labours were all natural so I just didn't want to make a cut on my tummy just for ligation purpose......Now regretted loh..if not I won't have my 4th and many frustration along the way because my 4th is unplanned one.
Now hearing you said it would not be 100% safe for ligation did just aft birth, this make me worry. I'm Christian so abortion is surely out of my thought. If I really have no.5, I cannot immagine what would my life be. Maybe need to migrate to a less develope countries to survive from the high living cost and high education demand. Haha
I actually did a ligation right after birth of my 3rd one. I should have done it when I had my 3rd but delayed coz my labours were all natural so I just didn't want to make a cut on my tummy just for ligation purpose......Now regretted loh..if not I won't have my 4th and many frustration along the way because my 4th is unplanned one.
Now hearing you said it would not be 100% safe for ligation did just aft birth, this make me worry. I'm Christian so abortion is surely out of my thought. If I really have no.5, I cannot immagine what would my life be. Maybe need to migrate to a less develope countries to survive from the high living cost and high education demand. Haha
Hi Lydia,
haha... all is quite well... baby is 10 months old already. How time flies! To think I started posting in this thread when I just got pregnant with her. I am so glad to have her. She brought lots of joy to the family. As usual, the house is perpetually full of noise, fights n laughter. That is the beauty of a big family, I guess. I grew up in a family of 2 gals, so I definitely enjoy being in a big family now. There is no regrets in having 4 kids for sure!
haha... all is quite well... baby is 10 months old already. How time flies! To think I started posting in this thread when I just got pregnant with her. I am so glad to have her. She brought lots of joy to the family
. As usual, the house is perpetually full of noise, fights n laughter. That is the beauty of a big family, I guess. I grew up in a family of 2 gals, so I definitely enjoy being in a big family now. There is no regrets in having 4 kids for sure!double_ens
New Member
I m thinking to have 3rd child, but realy can't cope.
I had my #3 6 months ago. Have to juggle between 2 elder girls, baby, work and house chores. It's super tiring.
I have no maid - Thinking that maid will bring even more problem. So, decided to do everything on our own.
MIL taking care of my kids. Will travel to MIL house every morning to drop them there and pick them up in the evening after work. Both girls attend Nursery and pre-nursery (3 hrs daily).
I'm consider very lucky to have MIL whom is very helpful.
It's a joy to have children but sometimes I do feel that I don't have time for myself at all, esp in the weekend. I'm flooded with house chores - vacuuming , mopping, wiping the furniture and ironing, entertaining the kids, etc. It's extremely tired.
I have no maid - Thinking that maid will bring even more problem. So, decided to do everything on our own.
MIL taking care of my kids. Will travel to MIL house every morning to drop them there and pick them up in the evening after work. Both girls attend Nursery and pre-nursery (3 hrs daily).
I'm consider very lucky to have MIL whom is very helpful.
It's a joy to have children but sometimes I do feel that I don't have time for myself at all, esp in the weekend. I'm flooded with house chores - vacuuming , mopping, wiping the furniture and ironing, entertaining the kids, etc. It's extremely tired.
Hi all,
Sorry that it took me so long to reply.
I deliver my twins a week after i post and was busy and having a hard time adjusting.
My dd3 was adding to the stress by giving us a real hard time. So far she seem to be the only one who really have terrible 2.
All the nite feeding really wear me & dh out, until we all fell sick.
Now, things seem to be more settled but still tiring.
Chris,
I heard of cases of at least 2 mummies who did ligation but are preggy again after a few years, so i guess we better be careful too. I did mine when i deliver the twins via c-sect. I did some reading up and was told that the better time to do is abt 8 weeks after deliver.
Am even having the crazy idea to put Mirena as double protection.
Sorry that it took me so long to reply.
I deliver my twins a week after i post and was busy and having a hard time adjusting.
My dd3 was adding to the stress by giving us a real hard time. So far she seem to be the only one who really have terrible 2.
All the nite feeding really wear me & dh out, until we all fell sick.
Now, things seem to be more settled but still tiring.
Chris,
I heard of cases of at least 2 mummies who did ligation but are preggy again after a few years, so i guess we better be careful too. I did mine when i deliver the twins via c-sect. I did some reading up and was told that the better time to do is abt 8 weeks after deliver.
Am even having the crazy idea to put Mirena as double protection.
Hi Doblue38,
Nice to hear from you again. Congrats to your new born twin !
Sorry to hear of the stress. I think it will be over soon when you have adjusted to timing and schedule. I understand that the nite feeding is really tiring. Try to get others to help you during the day time so that you can catch some sleeps. Do you put the elder three kids in cc ? I think your oldest gal also can give you a hand when needed, rite ?
Take care and rest well.
As for me, I don't dare to think much about the ligation. Though it is not 100% safe, keep my finger cross loh.... If really have, then it will be God's gift. I think I can handle it coz my 4 kids already 3 years old and above by then. The most tough time to have baby is when we have older kid at the age of 2~3 years old because this age is very demanding and rebellious. I understand your #3gal who is at her terrible two stage. My #3gal terrible two stage was over. Now she is 3 yo but still as terrible. She is a bully, demanding, everything is hers, screamer, cry-hollic and etc. Hope yours is not as terrible as mine.
Nice to hear from you again. Congrats to your new born twin !
Sorry to hear of the stress. I think it will be over soon when you have adjusted to timing and schedule. I understand that the nite feeding is really tiring. Try to get others to help you during the day time so that you can catch some sleeps. Do you put the elder three kids in cc ? I think your oldest gal also can give you a hand when needed, rite ?
Take care and rest well.
As for me, I don't dare to think much about the ligation. Though it is not 100% safe, keep my finger cross loh.... If really have, then it will be God's gift. I think I can handle it coz my 4 kids already 3 years old and above by then. The most tough time to have baby is when we have older kid at the age of 2~3 years old because this age is very demanding and rebellious. I understand your #3gal who is at her terrible two stage. My #3gal terrible two stage was over. Now she is 3 yo but still as terrible. She is a bully, demanding, everything is hers, screamer, cry-hollic and etc. Hope yours is not as terrible as mine.
