3 kids & more - how do u cope

Hi Lydia,
Do you remember me? I PM you when I was pregnant with my 4th child on how to cope with 4 kids especially we are FTWM and no parents/in laws to help out at home.

Well, I'm glad to found this thread to share and support one another who have more than 3 kids.

Well, times flies. My 4th is already 5 mth old. Life have been tough with the unplanned child adding to the family especially when I have started to go back to work...then engaged 2 maids...then new maid not doing well and returned back to agent...taking many urgent leaves...now looking for new maid data...and so on.
 


Hi Chris,

So happy to see u again,times really flies..

Having a 4th one without helper is really tough,but when you see them playing ard u,you will think everything is worth it.
 
Hello everyone, I just chanced upon this thread. Good to know there are other mummies with 4 kids too. My kids are 8, 6, 4 and 8 mths old and I'm a FTWM. Haven't been going out much on weekends since number 4 came along. Whenever we do, we get lots of stares..people must be thinking we're nuts to have so many kids! Haha..
 
Welcome Yellowdaffodil.

Well,I guess dont think are we nuts to have so many kids but instead will think how courage we're...hahaha....Ppls always tell me they wont dare to do so...
 
Hi Lydia,
Sorry late reply as I hardly log in... Sometime the most is MSN hehe.

Ya I am a SAHM... still thinking should go for #3. Let nature take its course. HB love kids.. for me so so.. cos its very tiring to handle without helper. I guess beginning is tough slowly when get used to the kids routine I can try find time here and there to rest lo.

I agree totally with giving birth is easy but is the raising education financially. I told HB if go for #3, long term I am thinking should go back to work or not. Finanically is a factor. Basic need n education we still must give but maybe i am those hoping can give more... Kiasu mummy!

Hoping to know more mummies having 2 or more to share no doubt FTWM or SAHM yeah
 
Hi mummies,

Kudos to those with 3 kids or more without domestic help!

I am expecting my 3rd in a month's time with 2 boys, 3yrs 4mo and 1yr 10mo in tow. Working part-time with help from mum is still manageable but foresee it'll be difficult once no. 3 arrives. Am engaging a helper soon. I feel that once the youngest hits 2, it'll be much easier. Hopefully by then I can manage by myself
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Wish me luck!
 
Hi all,

Yellowdaffodil, my kids are almost same age as yours, mine's 9,7,3 and just turned 1..

lydia, ya, i not only get stares, i get "tsk tsk tsk' from people..
Once, i got a comment from an uncle,"aiyo, why you give birth to so many", i just laughed and said i like..
One thing i dared not do is to lug them all out shopping by myself.. LOL..
Think after a while, we 'll get used to it..

A friend of my ang has 5 kids, they are so used to stares that they don't bother liao..
MP Ong Kian Min from tampines GRC has 5 kids too
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Ya,It's fun to have so many, apart from education, a very stressful aspect , i admit. When i teach no. 1, no.2 and 3 are listening as well. When i read to no. 3, no.4 , will just look ..So hopefully this will be an incidental learning process for the younger ones ;)
 
hi, all...i just saw this thread...happy to see this thread..i'm a mum of 4 and coming soon 5.. ages 7,6,3,1....2 boys and 2 girls.

i'm a FTSAHM, no domestic help...

sometimes i feel so weird and agitated also when i get stares from strangers, some even shaking their heads..hmmmmm..as if i ask them to look after my kids..hehehe..some even pass comments like aiyoh so many, wah 4 ah? do you mums get this reactions from the public?
 
Najmom,welcome welcome....you are going to break the record here soon ha....hahaha..great to see another mommy of 5...^-^..

I had many ppls saw us going out together will stare then ask then will say....ai yo,pei fu lor..blar blar blar...If they see me alone bring 4 kids out,they will give me tat kind almost faint expression..hahaha..

I think most of the elderly will say good to have more children becos most of the young generation dont give birth to more kids anymore,while I guess young couple will give u a No No stare?..hahaha

Cynthia,
I Msn as well,maybe can exchange msn?hehehe.
I guess to have 4 kids or more,hubby need to help out in certain area as well or else not easy to cope..^-^

Compare to our time,education is much more relax whereby now very stress for children as well.I chose not to stess my kids but at the same time will build up their foundation by introducing knowledge through outing,natural resort.
 
ya gonna break record..anyone wants to join in? LOL..
the elderly believes having more children brings wealth and joy. i believe so too.

its fun watching the kids play together and when the eldest trying to teach the younger ones, soo cute. but sometimes, it can get pretty crazy..preparing lunch ,sending and fetching them from school, homeworks and all.I'm thinking of closing shop after the 5th..but still haven't decide which method to use. Think Pill is out as i intend to fully breastfd, my kids were all fully breastfd and pill will reduce the milk.

Lydia , are you going to stop at 4? :) do you think i should get a double stroller ? my 4th is 1year 4 mths
 
hi, congrats nahmom2004..
actually i wanted to close stop after th 4th one but then, thinkin tat i still young plus wanna fully bf, so also drop the idea. .
well.. if really hav no5.. means its fated..
 
najmom,

Well,I had done my ligation when I give birth to my #4 becos mine all c-section due to my hb's gene (Even though he dont agreed...hehehe)

I love children as well,if my is a nature birth I might dont mind to go for #5...

Alice,keep it up and keep it rolling...hehehe..
 
Hey Alice, hehe.. I share the same thoughts as you, no.4 close shop liao, if no.5 comes, it's God's will.. but I'm lao liao
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najmom, keep up the good work! i wish i could join you:0
Sometimes i cook more soup for dinner, then leave the soup next day to cook porridge, it's yummy. Or when i make spag bolognaise, i'll cook more sauce and freeze a portion for some other day's lunch..
Ya, cooking, bringing them up and down sch, helping them in their sch work can be overwhelming.. plus laundry etc, the list goes on

Had the same headache as you abt strollers when no.4 came along,so I bought a simple 3 position canvas metal stroller with a buggy board attached separately onto it. So when no.4 is in the stroller, no. 3 is standing on the board while I'm pushing it. All in all, it's about a 150 or so.. Saw the mac claren and phil and teds, wow, the phil and teds is so nice , price also nice.. 750bucks!
 
Najmom,

I am using a double stroller..not those side by side one becos feel very bulky,my is those one infront and one sitting at the back type but most of the time,need to tuck 3 in..hehehe.I get it from kiddy palace at $199.
 
Hi mummies,

Me too, 4 enough and had did a ligation liao. Sometimes i feel very guilty because I can hardly divide my free time among the 4. Mine are 8,5,2 and 6mth old. Currently I spend most time with the elder coz she is P2 and need to guide her on her school works. My kids didn't attend enrichment classes unless necessary.
Do you full-time working mummy has time management problem ? I hardly find time to enjoy my hobbies. Hb also helps with the kids but he still can find time watching TV and go golf practice. But I have to really stay home to keep an eye on them whenever I'm off work. So unfair...
 
hehe, thanks everyone..

always a dilemma whether to stop breastding or not. Knowing the benefits of breastfding but at the same time must think if can handle more kids. so decided to let nature take its course. depends on God's will. 2 of my friends used IUD still got pregnant and another did ligation got pregnant..

Choc06

Thanks for the suggestion, sometimes i did that too, cook some extras for some other meals.. or sometimes, i buy lunch then i cook dinner, leftovers use for next day early lunch. survival skills.haha... ya, it can get pretty overwhelming at times.. normally, i start my day very early before the little ones are up.

i think front and back strollers are better, side by side quite bulky. maybe i look for second hand ones from the WTS section.hehe..
 
Welcome Chris,I do agree with you sometimes cant really find time to do our own things,I guess mother's heart is the reason whereby we cant put our kids off mind even we're out,I always will miss them even I'm out alone..hehehe

Najmon,your sentence of friends using IUD & ligation also get preg scare me abit,frankly I tried using protection during my #3 & #4 and still get preg,tat's why chose ligation thinking at least more secure but seem it's not true now..hahha..
 
Hi Lydia,
You are always so positive and encouraging
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Hah...ligation also got pregnant?? Must be very dangerous and need to abort, right ? Really scare me leh...
 
Chris,

Becos I always feel no matter how many kids we're having,life still need to go on,my mom always say every kids' hands hold on to the gifts from god when they arrive to this world,so no matter what, they will be able to grow up by nature.

If Ligation liao still will preg then continue with #5,#6 lor,God's gift mah...hehehe..
 
Hi Lydia,
Oh, so your mum has influenced you a lot, right? As for me, my mum is not a good role model coz she did not look after me when I was young. My grandma took care of me & my siblings. Therefore, now I have difficulty to take care of my kids. Difficulty in the sense of showering the love and attention to them. Maybe it will come very naturally as mother's love. But honestly speaking, sometimes I really looking forward to do my own things/hobbies without the kids disturbing me esp. after putting all the kids to bed i.e. already around 10.30pm. So, I just left half an hour for myself ... not even have enough time to put on a face mask.
 
Thanks for those mummies' sharing on freezing the food. It is very useful indeed. Can we also freeze porriage, smashed potatoes/pumpkin, fried rice ?
 
hi, afternoon mummies..

ya, lydia every child is god's gift,so must treasure them. like my sis been trying for 11 years already, still no sign.pity them.

ya scary right, used iud and ligate also pregnant.Like my hubby said these things are beyond our control. if god decides to give another
, we can't control..

anyway, my friend who got pregnant after ligation still continue with her pregnany.eventhough it was already her 8th.hehehe...god's gift.

my gynae told me, normally it happens when ligation is done immediately after delivery.The procedure is done when the womb is still not back to the normal size.

Chris
so far porridge i don't freeze, potatoes /pumpkins, fried rice yes
 
lydia,
have the same thoughts as you. I have 3 kids... all come as a surprise. And now I can't leave them overnight at my in laws, I will miss them dearly... my sis also tells me to just leave them at my in laws and go holidaying myself and hubby but I just cant do that! A day still can but not more than that.....
 
Hi Najmom,
omg... 8 kids..
of course it is god's gift and if accidently have the child then should continue the pregnancy. As for ligation, what I'm afraid is if still pregnant then it is not normal pregnancy such as outside the fil__tube then this is dangerous for mummy & baby therefore I heard that need to abort it.

Is there any other raw/cook food I can freeze? My freezer only got ice, meat and ice-cream. I have to make more use of it ..hee..
 
eeyore,yalor,tat's why my hb purposely give excuses no need plan for holiday already since you cant leave the kids to anyone...very bad right?hahaha..

Najmom,like tat very worry ley,lol lol..becos I done my ligation on the same day of delivery since mine is a c-section..(Worry,worry liao..)

Chris,

You can cook soup then frozen it into small portions,then everytime want to cook will pick out a share to heat up.

or you can cook some stew meat and use the same method.

If it's a bad preg or adnormal preg then no choice need to give up or else it'll hurt the mother womb and health alot,I'm sure if can be save,parents will not chose to give up on the bb.

It's normal for all mommies feel like having some free time for ourself,we also need some quiet moments,away from the asking for milk,asking for toys,asking for everything...hahaha..(tat's when daddy should come into the picture to rescue the mommies)..give urself some time off once in a while will be good as to refresh your mind and body,even it's just a short while of hiding in the room and watch your favourite show without the BEESzzzzzzzzz...^-^ (Thinking of it,I also like many yrs never do mask liao ley)

so happy this thread had bring in more and more mommies and discussion...keep it on going...cheersssss....
 
Hi Lydia,

wow, nice to see this thread alive again! haha.... I should be giving birth to #4 end next month if the baby is big enough... feeling very tired and wondering how I will cope eventually when the baby arrives. For now, I don't want to think too much.

My mil came to Shanghai last 2 weeks to help take care of #3 who is running loose all over the house but it hasn't been easy coz he doesn't really take to her. He refused to wear clothes when she bathed him. Refused to come out of the shower cubicle, etc... sigh... I hope she can manage him when I am in confinement. If all is ok, I think I will prefer that I handle the kids by myself and she can go back to Sgp.

Hmm... the topic of ligation and IUD always makes me wonder what is the foolproof method against pregnancy apart from the hubby doing vasectomy. My gynae just told me last month that ligation is not foolproof. She also told me that the intl medical standard is that IUD or ligation shld be done only 6 weeks after delivery and not right after. She kept telling me to consider IUD. I told her I will give it a thot. Hmm... I don't think I can handle another pregnancy, given the uncomfortable stage I am in right now. Hahaa.... I waddle like a duck and I am perpetually in sciatica pain, esp at night! Counting down to the day of my delivery....
 
afternoon mummies,

just came back from checkup, baby doing well. 29 weeks, 1.45kg.But the head abit big lah 31 wks size. hehe.My gyane adviced to mixed feed, he said fully breastfding can be tiring for me cos i have other children to look after. Told him will consider. FYI, he has 7 kids. hehe, so he pro large family.

I agree with lydia, we mummies need time outs! Everyday, doing the same thing and meeting the demands of our kids can be draining.but sometimes i think kids grow up very fast, its best we treasure these moments. later , we they grow up , they might not need us as much.
 
Hi M&M,

Glad to hear from you again & hope to hear from you when you deliver,must keep us update ha..

Now this period you should rest more,save more energy to PUSH & dont think too much! (Everything let hb and other ppls think and do,hehehe)

Dont worry,everything will get into place after you give birth.. ^-^

najmom,

wow,7 ha?..how old is your gynae? ^-^..

from 25 weeks onwards,bb start to grow by itself and it's the period mommy need to take in enough to provide 2 share.(But that doesnt mean can overfeeding ho..hehehe)..

Must start to take care of yourself and rest more from now onwards.

I totally agreed.My sis used to work very late previously,when she finally leave her job then she start to realise,she had missed alot of the childhoold days of her2 gals now they already have their group of friends and wont chose to go out with parents already.

Actually as long as they reach 3 yrs onwards,should be able to independent by themself and by then we also able to get some off time by then.

So dont worry too much and keep on smile smile la...
 
hi M&M,

understand you must be very tired now, i'm 29 weeks already having backache. Waiting for me to reach 33 weeks onwards, surely will tell hubby NO more babies..hahaha..

better not to think soo much, relax and rest more.my hubby doing more of the housework now and when he's home , will take care of the 4th one and putting her to sleep.. sometimes feel when pregnant get to be more pampered.hehe

Lydia,
ya, he has 7 kids, should be 50 already.The first one already doing his degree.I'm taking meals in small portions cos having heartburns otherwise feel like throwing up. Cutting down on rice , taking more wholemeal bread. Think the supplements are enough for the babies.

True kids by 3 years old can do most things themselves. but if we continue to have more kids, then the cycle never end..hahaha..
 
Hello Lydia,
THis is my MSN [email protected]. Also the same for my facebook
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RE: Ligation
I thought of getting it done if I going for 3rd one. But somehow guess doesn't have 100% wont kenna right? Why not the men do it hahaha!!! I told hb he should be the one to do it and go through all these after I am like keep preg and give birth for the last 3-4yrs
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Well, this is the 2nd month we are TTC. Sometime will feel dilemma. Maybe worry cannot handle and to share love with 3 kids. Sometime also wondering and hoping to go back work BUT having 3 kids seems like I will be keeping worrying. We are still living within means, no much luxury too. Maybe I am hoping to have more.. that means a need to bring income..

Hai.. vexing
 
Re : Ligation
So far I heard it is the safest permenant method although not 100% safe. Before I did it, my husband offer to do vasectomy but i have done internet research on it and found that it is not as safe as ligation. For some man, the sperm count will come back a few years after vasectomy. Other disadvantage is the man will have a mental problem when having sex... so at the end I opted to do ligation.
 
LOL @ najmom....


Cynthia,will add you later.well,live without our means doesnt mean not good also..having kids mean we already having a millionssss... ^-^

Chris,
at least your hb still offer to do it,my hb die die will say No no..hahaha...he say later he dont feel he is a man liao then how?...hehehehe
 
Hee... no lah. His thing is still function as normal, only that no sperm will be ejected... Maybe the man's psychological is harder to overcome....

Btw what is "LOL" means ??
 
Hello mummies,
i know this thread is abt 3 kids & more, and i got only 2 kids hope to have more but i find myself struggling with 2 as i also do not like the idea of having a maid. playing with the thought of the 3rd one but i think my ah lao c mi had such a hard time coping with 2 he feels tat 2 is enough. My girls are age 3 (next Jan) & 1 (in nov).

After i have my #2 i find that its very hard to teach my #1 stuff. how you guys do it? can share with me please? i really do not wish to deprive my #1 what she can learn same as #2. when i got only 1 i can put all my attention on her but its really hard with 2 now.

and as i am a FTWM, when i reach home i am really gone. sometimes i feel tat i am wasting my girls time on learning something that could have benefit them. and to add on to that, my #1 is still superdy jealous over her mei mei, she will hit mei mei and stuff. i really dunno how to get this jealousy over her. we try to give her more attention but it still doesnt seems to help at all. and now she is this bad tempered little girl who will whine so often to get attention and its getting on my nerves.
 
Hi najmom,

I think I saw you in the Dec2009 thread as well, right? Haha.... I think our EDD are only a few wks apart, so let's hang on to the last lap now.

I am now in my 32th week and my gynae told me to stay on bedrest in case I go into early labour before my 36th week, given the fact that I delivered #3 at 36th week without induction. She just wanted to play safe. Anyway, I m already in that heavy stage, going to pee every hr... which is extremely irritating! Haha... I can't wait to deliver! I really can't imagine having a 5th kid like you are hving now, haha... for now, I dun even want to think about how to cope with all of them when the baby is born. I will just take a step at a time. BTW, do you have msn? We can chat if you do :D I will PM you mine.

Lydia,
I am still trying to get used to these mainland Chinese. It is really quite a pain dealing with them. I am feeling pretty hormonal now, so telling myself to take it easy and not stressed up all these 'HR' issues. I am not expecting mil to stay here long term, so I will need to figure a way out to cope alone somehow when she is back in Sgp... well, see how it goes.... chat more with u when we are both online in msn.
 
hi m&m

hehe, didn't know you're in the dec thread as well. bedrest means you have to be in bed whole day? is your baby big? normally by 32 weeks, we'll get easily irritated and can't wait to deliver. hehee..just waiting for my turn.i can feel the pressure at the bottom when i walk now. so uncomfortable.

Coping with 4 and another pregnancy needs adjusting.
 
Hi najmom,

no lah... it is not really staying in bed all day. I can't really stay in bed coz still have to chase after my 2yo toddler. It is very tiring actually. My gynae always comments that I dun look pregnant except for my big tummy coz the rest of my body seems trim still. I told her I have plenty of 'exercise', no time to rest. Haha... My baby is 1.7kg at 31 weeks, so I suppose that is average size, not big.

I am trying to drink more water in the day and controlling my water intake at night. The baby was lying on my bladder 2 nights ago and I woke up every hour to pee! It is such a pain... This is the hardest stretch and I hope this will be the last time I am pregnant! Hahaha...

Hang in there too... I bet it must be much tougher for u with 4 kids running about... Let's count down to our BIG day!
 
M&M,Najmom,

Both mommies need to try to rest more from now already,dont just chase after your other kids,must ask hb help to chase also..hehehe..

I remember when I preg with my #4,also can feel the pressure at the bottom becos our womb loose after so many pregsssss...I can even feel her head,need to carry the whole tummy when I walk ard...(Scary!)....^-^
 
M&M and Lydia

True we need to rest more now but sometimes its not possible.esp with a very active toddler around. hehehe..hope this will the last pregnancy or maybe break for 3 or 4 years. hehehe..

yeah lah, our womb expand so many times already thats why can feel the pressure whenever we walk. My gynae said its normal.But, i sometimes go for traditional massage, she can help push the baby up.Making it more comfortable otherwise walking will be sooo painful. But, the massage lady is someone i trust, her older generations were very experienced in this area.

M&M, yeah let's count down to the BIG day.
 
Hi najmom, Lydia,

yah! I felt the heavy pressure right now and I am so scared I will go into labour very early. It is a relief to know that moms who have given birth multiple times felt the same. My hubby kept warning me not to go out and jalan. I wanted to go shopping with a friend today n he said my tummy is so big, better not go out anymore. So din go anywhere in the end... sigh... I was still thinking of going out more since I will be stuck at home once baby arrives. Such irony and dilemma!

Aiyah, hubby travelling now even as I type. He is always travelling and hardly around, so I am prepared to go and deliver by myself in the hospital should I suddenly go into labour. He will be travelling 4 times next month and I wonder too if I should ask the gynae to induce me once the baby is big enough so that I can at least be sure he will be around then. See how it goes during my checkups next month.

Thanks ladies for the great support! I am looking forward to being a mom of 4!
 
hi m&m

Yeah, its very normal to feel the heavy pressure. I sometimes feel like i might go into early labour but so far the earliest was 37 weeks. do u use the suppost belt? i have one but i don't feel it helps, i get more backache instead.

for your unborn baby sake better rest at home.Understand its so boring right? Later confinement must stay indoor for at least a month..haizzzz...

If you want your hubby during labour(i know i want mine to be around), then inducing labour is an option.Do you have any experience in induced labour? I feel its more painful in terms of the contractions, my 4th one was induced. It was quite an experience, after the 4th one..hubby say no need to give birth already..hahaha...

Btw, are you having a boy or girl? I'm expecting a boy after 2 girls.. its a nice change
 
M&M,

At 32 weeks still can go ard but try not to walk too long or too far.go when weather not too hot,maybe in the morning or evening time for a short walk.Actually if you intend to go for natural,doing some walking will be good for you..^-^...

I am still walking 1 wk before my delivery.

If you know your hubby scedule then maybe you can plan when will be the best time for you to induce when bb is ready to be out,good in a sense someone will be there to help you out,must remember this is not your first one,you still need to take care of the other 3 little sweeties who will be running ard you ho...
 
Hi M&M and Najmom,
Wow.. your big day is coming... Rest more and get ready...
I think it is ok to walk but don't exhaused yourself. I used to walk a lot until the last of day of pregnancy...heavy and slow... but convenience exercise to practice the breathing for labour preparation.
 
Hi Chris, Lydia,

thanks a lot for your advices. I am trying to finish running my last minute errands these 2 days before I really keep myself homebound. Haha.... winter is approaching here in Shanghai and I had to hurry get my winter coat before the weather turns even colder - I won't be able to go out till after my confinement and it will be too cold by then. (I was told it will go to -5 degrees then)

Hi Najmom,
I haven't had any induction for all 3, so I really don't know what to expect. My gynae said she will check me around mid Nov and access the situation but she advised my hubby not to make any more travels from 19th Nov onwards coz it is likely that I will deliver any time from then on.

Well, I am expecting a gal this time. My eldest is a boy 7yo, 2nd is gal 6 yo, 3rd is boy 2 yo and now gal :D. That is the best scenario I can ever pray for and I thank God that I won't have to worry about the gender displacement at home anymore! Hahhaa... n my gal has been asking for a sis for the longest time ever! I told her that her prayer has been fulfilled! Haha.... Great to know that you are having a boy after gals... it is a great change! :D The kids must be so excited!!
 
Hi mummies,
Can i ask any of the mummies here has 2 c-sect before and natural delivery on your 3rd one? Me has 2 currently, and thinking of 3rd one soon. Hopefully can try VBAC. but my gynae says FOREVER i can't have natural delivery.
 
hi Jas, most gynae don't want to take the risk. But, my gynae was ok with it. My sis had 2 sect before..1st child and the 5th twins..for the 6th gynae said as long baby is not big , can go for normal.
 

Hi YingYing,
hhahaa... I guess I learn to just take things as they come. I used to think I can't cope with 2 as well coz my 1st 2 are 20 months apart... I waited till my 2nd one is 2yrs plus before I tried for the 3rd one. I guess the whole idea is not to think too far ahead but to take a step at a time.

Hi najmom,
dunno why my name is missing from the dec thread. I hardly go in there anymore coz I realised most of them are 1st or 2nd timers. They are always talking about sprees which I cannot participate now that I am overseas anyway. Hahaa.... talk about generation gap. Hmm... I am curious... how old are most mummies here in this thread??? I am 34 this year... I told hubby that I have at least fulfilled my own promise that I will deliver all my kids before I turn 35! I told him just yesterday that no more kids after this one... this will be my last pregnancy for sure! I am feeling so tired and heavy now! Hhaaa.... najmom, u are so cool to try for #5! I think I won't be able to take it mentally to have another one... this is really my limit already.

In my 35th week now and I m hving weekly checkups to make sure that I have not dilated... the thing is, hosp bill is very high here so if I do give birth prematurely, my baby will have high chance of staying in ICU which will cost a bomb.... so trying to keep her inside for at least 2 more weeks... How about you? Feeling ok? A lot of contractions???
 

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