(2010/05) May 2010 mtb

Hi Mummies, sorry to interrupt -



Anyone wants a single bed & mattress - perfect for a guest bed. Lightly used, going for cheap to clear space for my beloved son. Two are available. Can also be joined for an extra big bed...



Condition: 9/10



Pls PM me for more details.



[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/2495852/4031247.jpg]

 


little tiger, dun be upset. maybe ur hubby facing too much pressure from his mother, then no choice he started bombarding u. Maybe he is facing too much pressure at work and the last thing he excpects is to see home politics..

Try reverse psychology.- dun argue back to ur hb. Agree with him. just apologize and say u'll try then hopefully he feels bad for scolding u. Then bite ur teeth and pretend to be nice to ur MIL.. see whether got any changes.. after all, ur marriage very iimportant and communication in a marriage is the key to make it work.. *hugs*

 
Little Tiger..hubby doesn't understand what you are going through.. could be becos he only heard his mum side of the story never heard wat you are feeling..



Think maybe u can considering pumping.. then won't have that doubt whether got enough milk or not..and yeah.. MILs all gave birth to our husbands and raised them into fine young men... so of course they are more yaya cos they are experienced and forget that they were also in our position once...



Not all husbands that supportive lah.. they in difficult position also.. some just sit on fence and try to avoid (like mine!)...



Shush.. cannot say this type of thing... No matter how horrible things may be... you have a baby who needs you....if things really get too much for you to handle.. maybe you can consider seeing a doctor to talk to ..your depression doesn't look like its getting better...



Your Mil also leaving soon after your confinement right... things will get better then look forward to that...

 
Little tiger, relax. Think you're very stressed out from the new baby and BF. Take a step back, breathe. Maybe you can EBM so that can gauge how much bb is drinking?



Sometimes old people and men can be very clueless and insensitive. Maybe your hb also stressed, some more he's caught in between you and his mother.



I hope you'll feel better soon. Pls feel free to vent here though.

 
Little Tiger,



Don't be so negative and extreme.. It could be your hormones working overdrive as well..



Men are generally quite clueless when it comes to the emotional aspect.. And older folks generally have the perception that they have gone through more than us, thus more qualified to 'give advice' whether you want it or not... Just have to learn to 'tune' it out and not think too much about it and into it...



I do agree with the other ladies here, maybe you can consider expressing a few times (to prove that you are producing enough milk.. that should silence your MIL).. hehe..



You must remember, both you and your hubby are going through a new phase in life with your newborn.. Sometimes, during times like this, it's easy to forget and overlook why you fell in love with each other and got married... Must always remind yourself that there must be some reason why you decide to marry him (for better or worse).. even though you might not remember and even feel that way at that time..



Things will just get better.. Your MIL should be leaving soon after your confinement, right? Just count down to it... I'm counting down to mine.. haha.. and remember, baby is growing everyday.. soon baby will learn to respond and react .. and hopefully, taking care of the baby will be easier as days go by... Life is full of trials, big and small, we just need to handle them with calm and we'll emerge as the winner, ok?



Keep your chin up...

 
Oh dear my bb shower is this friday which is tmr and I ordered a few boxes of full month bb cakes from sweetest moments for office n to be collected today n guess what until last nite then i realize that I put the collection date tmr. Dropped an email to the sales team waiting for them to call me whether can it be amend cos small qty 6 bxs. crossing my fingers =@ Think due to lack of slp n not feeling well everything cannot do it in focus.

 
Little tiger - no matter how tough things r, nv nv think of endin ur life. ur bb loves n needs u. As wat the rest of the mummies mentioned, it's a phrase we hv to go thru. We will soon c rainbow. We r all in this together n we will all pull thru together ok? Try to find quiet time withur hubby w/o 3rd party ard n tell him nicely wats on ur mind. Do little things dat will make u feel betta. I feel down n lousy too n I reward myself a can of Mug rootbeer yday! Sinful but I dun care.. Coz I feel happier aft drinkin it.. Hee! So look on the bright side n b strong k? We r with u... Big hug for u!

 
mrs heng..wow rootbeer so tempting to me in fact this morning when i wake up i feel like drinking cold water too n i was starring at the chrysanthemum tea inside my fridge when storing my ebm. But then keep telling myself 2 more days to go befor completing my confinement. I hving cough n flu now n each i try to force myself not cough n wherever i cough i hv to hold my csect wound.

 
Hey ladies..



Just to be a wet blanket here [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



My CL tell me if bf whether EBM or TBF..



1) CANNOT drink cold drinks or eat cold food

2) Right after bath cannot express or feed baby BM (something to do with body temp)



If you do these baby will have stomachache.

Dunno true or not but everytime i want to take cold drink make me think twice... :p

 
lilstarz..i think all take in moderate bah. if everything also cannot then i muz make sure i really slim down during my maternity. hahhaha.me still hv abt 5-6kg to reduce leh. Thinking of buying a girdle or lipocontour pants to slim down cos weather hot can shed down more calories.

 
Chubby_tiger - Oopsss..sry if i hv tempted u haha! 2 more days beri fast..jia you!!!!





lilstarz29 - hmm..My frn who has been BF for 1.5yrs, i see her drink soft drinks eh. I had my rootbeer aft pumpin, b4 i slp for the nite. Hopefully by now its fully digested >.<

 
Little tiger, cheer up! Remember not to let unnecessary n unworthy pple affect your family (bb, u , hb)

This is your own circle of support/ trust - hb may also be overwhelmed by the arrival of his next precious one (first one is YOU) that's why he also overlooked the sensitivity portion of how u are feeling!

 
Little Tiger, sometimes men r jus lik a block of wood insensitive to feelings. oso as men, we like to avoid trouble with our mums who can really giv us headache if we annoyed them. like my case when we were jus married and stayed under one roof with my parents, i always sit on the fence when unpleasant things happen. but i promised my wife such things will not happen once we got our own roof. so bear with it till ur MIL goes n things will b bk norm. Cheer up cos every wife will go thru these. Life is jus full of events.



Mrs Heng, k will resent now. this is what my wify told me, tell goddess ur name, where u live n the Qn u want to ask for advice. start shaking the bamboo holder till one of the sticks fall out. then ask goddess if this is the ans n throw the ying yang wooden pegs on the floor. if yes, the pegs shld show yin n yang (diff sides of the pegs). if not, put in the dropped stick bk to the folder n repeat the process again till the ans is yes (meaning u got ying yang side of the wooden pegs when u throw). there r several version, but i find this simpler n its result is still accurate.



bx, yup, but looser.

 
Bx , my bb do not like to be swaddled since day five. She is also kicking her blanket off since week two. It's surprisingly she don't get frighten easily, not the dogs sudden barkings, nor those motorbikes ramming along the streets. She can also sleep through shouting in the house. Maybe she is used to it since her days in my tummy.



Loh- if u carry baby too often esp when they dun want to sleep, sun that become a habit? I very scared u have to carry nightly from 1am onwards lor...

 
Little Tiger, remember you all not alone going thru all these (TBF/EBM/FM, insufficient sleep and rest, out of shape figure at the moment, etc, etc). All mummies in this thread are in this situation n we will all pull thru together ok?

Don't bottle up yr feelings, talk to your hubby. Think itz damn rude that your MIL keep touching your boobs. Ask your husband how would he feel if someone keep touching his penis. Try to put himself in your shoes too. Don't need to tolerate such rudeness.

Why MIL keep asking BB enuff milk onot? Wat's your TBF scedule like now? (such as how many hours interval before next feed)

Or if you EBM, how much is the quantity per session?



Agree with Mrs Heng, do things which would make U feel better. I always reward myself with things I like to eat and drink whenever I go out.

When I have my meals at TMC on 2nd day, I avoided confinement food (cos I know still got many days to eat dat stuffs, hate it) Ask my MIL is it ok to eat western food. she say I natural delivery this time round, can eat anything. Then when some days of the confinement, I sick of the food liao, I just ask my maid to cook spagetti, jap noodles. Also ask my vegetarian mother cook fried kway tiao (at least without seafood and cockles). Then at night I eat the confinement food.

When I go out for bb PD check and do birth cert, I told my MIL don't need to prepare my lunch, I eating out. Her immediate reaction is CANNOT eat outside food. My reply: TOT u say I can eat anything?

She then say a list such as dont eat seafood, those soup or gravy that use pork bone to make, etc, etc...... In my mind, I say to myself, double standard.

Anyway I still go ahead and eat fastfood and tiny sips of soft drinks (not the whole cup lah)

I still bring the longyan red date drink to quench my thirst when go out. Mummies, if you all think very sick to drink this drink, maybe u have cook it too sweet. Mine is very LESS SUGAR type, so still taste ok and can quench thirst.

 
just ask i tot i was coping ok.. i went mad last nite.. i just feel so guilty towards my #1



bb needs so much of my attention now.. and the 2 of them were crying at the same time together... 1 on the left .. 1 on the right. now i think of it.. am so upset..



den the person who kanna from our sttress is #1.. hb is yell at her.. me too [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
little Tiger : i also like u .. think of dying so many times.. but seriously .. do u think dying can solve the problems? mummies in this thread here... in may thread.. we are all here to support one another..



and I just post on my fb.. those who are in my fb list.. wat cant kill us will make us stronger

!! yesu bb needs u.. can u think how terrible is it to be likew w/o a mum? i always think of that and it stops me..



sometimes .. just need to sit down and talk to solve the problems and see open.. esp those with 1st born.. I use to be so paraniod over my 1st born.. cannot this.. cannot taht.. and i feel so miserable... after tat i say.. so long she is growing and wont die can liaoz.. just let them do wat they wan.. and not too overboard also la..





see open and u will feel better.. no milk .. give FM lor.. and tell ur MIL.. i dun feel comfortable u keep touching me.. have milk a not.. i will knowl..

 
chubby tiger : u gonna end ur confinement in 2 days time and when u cough u still need to hold ur c-sec wound? are u healing well ??? so "long" already leh..

 
Jerbunny: i gave up on the mittens in about a week! haha... my ger super hates the mittens and somehow she learnt to take them off herself. Left hand take off right hand and vice versa, not shake off.

Swaddling, i'm still swaddling whenever possible, she doesn't seem to like to be swaddled either. She can quite easily wriggle out of the swaddle now already.



Lil Tiger: Don't stress yourself out. All of us are going through this together. I just shouted at my hb last night cos he was bz playing game when bb was crying non stop. I ask him to help, he ask me back "how you want me to help?" i was so mad lor. Then i just gave him the baby, ask him to carry her and walk around the house. And surprisingly, she stopped crying.

Men are like that lar. Not as patient. Baby always cries when he carries her, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have to help. So I just force him to carry, to let baby get used to him and let him practise carrying her also.

As for MIL, learn to close 1 eye or sometimes 2. They make strange comments, den just entertain them with some random answers, if gets too bad, just don't answer.



Lilstar: cannot drink cold water? i think i will die. Anyway, maybe there's some truth in the cold water. When i was still in TMCM, there was once bb coughed and "puked" some phlegm. Scare me lor. The nurse was around and she told me it's ok, bb got phlegm cos i drink too much cold water when preggie. =P *guilty* Me shall continue to control my cold drinks when BF-ing, as well as make sure I eat a well balanced diet, cut down my favourite fried food, fast food, ice cream and stuff. Take it as continuous effort to try to lose weight and get back into shape!

 
Little Tiger: you r not alone... try to talk to ur hubby or frd.. I also encounter problem with my MIL who doing confinement for me. Every morning, i have bread for bfast without fail... my red-date logon drink will be ready only abt 4pm+ (sometime even later), so the whole am till early pm, i have super thirst... wat i do is to drink tonic or bird nest... I have super late lunch & dinner... and sometime no soup, even though my MIL kw i bf,need alot of fluids, but she dun even to care for me at all! Those foods & soup she cook are not confinement... (even though my hubby bought some herbal, asking my MIL to cook) My MIL only cook occassionally... most of the times, she would cook like normal home-cooked food...



Yesterday am, my bb girl woke us up at 7+, don't want to sleep after feed (while my MIL carried and coax her), instead of eating bread as bfast, my hubby went to buy bfast (he is sick of eating everyday). In the pm, my MIl told him tat eat bread as lunch... i am like going to be crazy... i am now in confinement not in normal day... my hubby went to buy lunch for me with soup based... thks for my hubby supportive...



Staying with MIL is not easy... sometime, i juz tune out watever she say... talk to my mum at night... She like to carry my bb in her arm after bottle fed, now my bb girl seem like this habit... Sometime, my bb girl cry.. my MIL std question is think she is hungry...nd to feed, she din even ask whether diaper full.. or she juz nd attention..



My MIL will say bf can't tell whether the bb is full or anot... maybe you don't hv much milk for bb...



Anyway, my MIL is going bk after my confinement ( i left 3 days to go).. my hubby and i will change my MIL style... nd to let my bb to be independent...



Still have alot of problems which i encounter with her... i just endure... just count down the days.. i would consider myself lucky tat i am not staying with her and my bb will be in infant care after i bk to work...(even though she is unhappy of our decision)



All mummies in this thread, we have to jia you and everything is worth it when you saw ur bb grow or your bb smile to you will melt your heart and all suffers are gone!

 
Hello mummies, after reading all posts seem like all of us are going through a rough patch, with husband, babies, MIL and even CL.



I was down with fever for the past few days and was really upset cos was in the hospital the whole day on Tuesday cos was refered by GP as my blood pressure was too low and didn't get to feed baby, the milk which had regulated for her decreased sharply. Used to be able to pump one side 80mls, yesterday only able to pump out 95mls for both side.



Yesterday night had to feed her from 6pm-10pm, I was really tired as I think there were not enough milk, I didn't have anymore extra EBM and I'm quite persistent in not feeding her FM when I'm around.



Engorgement fever is really scary cos you get all shiverish and hot and cold and my temperature went all the way up to 39.4.



I went to SGH lactation consultant yesterday and managed to massage out some lumps but still engorged. Didn't want to go back TMC cos it's expensive, and throughout my stay there, no nurse helped me with latching on at all, once baby didn't latch on, they will ask if want to feed formula or if baby is sleepy they'll say they come back later.



Anyway, it's such a long post. I'm just glad everything's over.



BTW, if you all need to see lactation consultant, I think SGH's Snr Staff nurse Tan is really nice. The fee for the session is about $57, unlike TMC is about $65 and every additional 15 mins $10. I was at SGH for almost 2 hours and she even gave me milk glass bottles. She's v patient and knowledgeable.

 
Hi everyone, seems like everyone here is having similar problems. I just gave birth 2 weeks ago and luckily didnt really have much engorgement as the TMC lactation nurses ask me to pump it out each day at the hospital. So till now, i am quite ok.



My bb is stil learning to latch after 2 weeks - anyone has this problem?



Btw, Does anyone of your babies have jaundice as high as 14 even after 2 weeks? Mine is still going up so i am pretty worried. Have been sunning him for the past one week until his skin is abit peeled off - does anyone have any recommnedations what moisturizer can i apply to him? Sigh....so much things happen at one time - my bb has heat rash somemore. *faint**



Tks

 
nanabear, I'm experiencing the same stress. Trying hard to cope with 2 kids. Moreover #1 is a very active kid since young and he already sapped all our energy before #2 came along so I'm also worried about how I'm going to cope with 2 kids when my CL leaves. I also find that we are less patient and tend to yell more at #1 these days. Feel very guilty each time [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Edie, I was also down with Mastitis about a week ago. At first I thought it was just blocked ducts but I soon developed high fever 39.1 degree and whole body ache so badly. Went to KKH emergency and in the end they got a lactation nurse to clear my blocked ducts. Had to be on antibiotics for a week after that. Until now my milk supply hasn't gone back to what it used to be haiz!

 
mattsmummy, very sad right. I'm also trying hard to increase cos low supply means longer feeding time= tired mummy. I'm on antibiotics now also. My right boob still quite lumpy, quite worried the fever will come back again.

 
hihis..

edie, mattsmummy.. hope ur fever wun come back!

wanna ask u ladies about engorgement

my massage lady said that it's good to feel boobies get engorged close to bb feeding time i.e 2 or 3hrs..

issit true?

lately i lost that engorgement feeling and also noticed a drop in milk supply.. from 70ml/side to 50ml/side.. sometimes have none at noon and evening time..

any correlation?

 
Mrs Teo, boh bian, she cry we both dun need to sleep/rest. but seems she is improving cos we like to disturb her at day time so at night she slept a bit longer. ya i oso scared she will hav this habit.



KTSC, 'Ask your husband how would he feel if someone keep touching his penis', ur example really shoot in the bud eye! i cannot help laughing at the thought of it. It is really rude lor.



blue_turtle7, ur gal very clever. mine leh she will try her best to move things ard her for her to suck. its true we men r not patient, but u really understand ur men. some men like to b shout at b4 the butt moves. cos we like to act blur to stay out of trouble. :p



Mrs Heng, no but there r 'lots' dictionary (free for browsing n avail in Eng/Ch)which interprets the verses. if u still dun understand, find someone who reads alot of Chinese history or giv me the verses. Its norm a Chinese story n then your prob is like how the story goes.



Sharon, might i sugg that ur hubby boil the dates n longgan drink the nite b4 n keep it in a pressure cooker (less than $100 n saves on elect/gas) so u can get almost constant drinking fluids. Very simple to do one. ur confinement success really depends on this simple n cheap drinks.

 
Sue, i tink u r right. wify's engorgement freq decreases n her supplies seems stagnates. but i do notice she leaks when its near bb meal time.

 
hihis again...

i've been bugged to get full mth caterer liao..

i think someone mentioned neo garden and ysl..

any other tried and tested good catering food?

 
oh no! Loh

as a mother i can't help but get slightly depressed wif decreasing supply.. but have to try other means lor.. i.e manually pumping every 3hrs to increase supply...

 
Sue, my left boob was the one with blocked ducts and I do noticed that it does not feel as full/engorged ever since the infection. True enough the amount of milk I'm getting from the left side has dropped to 30% lower as compared to before. I'm now on a 3-hrly pumping schedule but also trying to latch baby on the left side for a few times a day for a few minutes hoping to stimulate more milk.

 
same same mattsmummy

how to unblock the ducts huh... i noticed milk squirting from my right boob, but left booby only dripping milk from the side of nipple..

 
Oh dear, looks like a lot of stressed up mommies this week, plus the weather has been really terrible.



My son broke out with heat rash. We have decided to remove him from the swaddle and move him to the aircon room and there seems to be some improvement. Hopefully, it will go away soon, or he'll have some really ugly full month pics.



911, mattsmummy,

I too have been reprimanding my #1 non-stop, it appears that he is acting up for attention and he does the weirdest things for a reaction, like chewing his foam play mat which he has NEVER done before. He also demands to be swaddled by the blanket before we go to bed. My patience is also running thin.

That being said, my HB is even worse...he's very stern with my #1, but at least he is the only one who can keep #1 in check, or we'll all go crazy.



edie,

I'm glad you got help before it got any worse. How did the engorgement get so bad?

I usually offer the lumpy side first if I feel that it may get further engorged. It clears much faster when I use a hot towel to apply to the lump n massage while bb is latched on too. I read that taking lecithin also reduces lumps but I'm too cowardly to try.



Sue,

it's normal to lose tt engorge feeling once your supply regulates. Even though breasts may feel soft but tt doesn't mean our supply has diminished. For me, I don't even feel any tingly sensations whey I have my let downs anymore.



When I pumped, I notice that quite often that my supply will fluctuate for many reasons, eg. stress, let-down issues, pump problems. Basically, pumping is always less effective than bb. And my experience is that very much harder to maintain and increase supply through pumping than latching. Call me KIASI...coz at the same time I want to avoid taking any milk boosting supplements for as much as I can...

 
Mrsteo,

If hand expression is done correctly, you won't feel pain unless engorged. But my hand aches after I finish. And I like to do it with my back bent down so my back aches too...argh

You can google for videos or literature online to see how to do it.

 
Bbf,

I read that u mentioned that our boobs will not feel engorged once supply regulates. Kept wondering if it was due to my supply drop. Also noticed that bb is not sucking as hard. Is it normal?

 
bx,

I'm not sure why too but I do notice my bb also doesn't suck like his dear life depends on it anymore... I can only guess that he has become more proficient at latching. I also don't feel myself getting engorged as much except when the feeding time is delayed.



Since I don't pump now, I mostly rely on bb's reaction and his daily pees and poo to tell me that he is getting enough. I'm quite laid back now because as long as bb is content, I try not to worry too much about how much each breast is producing. After all, if we are really not producing enough, bb will bug us for milk and we just need to continue latching to up the supply.



I will start worrying about pumping supply when I return to work. When that happens, my life will be run on daily quota and the stress level increases because I really need to replace those feeds to keep up with TBF.

 
oh oh, my dad just gave my son a lollipop...

Sugar high + Acting up + slight cough = Tired household soon.

Hope the cough syrup will do good.

 
Nanabear, bbf... I had been latching on since day one, on Monday morn I felt bad engorgement on my right breast so decided to pump out as baby only fed on my left. Managed to pump out 80 mls was quite happy. That v evening I had fever. I went to gp and he dismissed it as mastitis as breast wasn't lumpy but blood pressure low and I was having flu and cough, he refer me to hospital and suspect it might be dengue or h1n1. I was crying so much cos I was feeding my baby the whole night, so scared i'd infect her. Luckily blood test didn't show any infections. So was it because of that one time pump and I didn't fully empty my breast that caused the fever?

 
edie : huh? so serious? just 1 side pump only like that? i also often 1 side pump den baby feed the other side leh..



bbf : I also read tat once supply regulate breast wont become lumpy.. i suspect my supply drop also leh.. my right breast din become lumpy quite early.. its my left at is always lumpy.. recently den became soft but still got milk..



any idea whether 1 side will have more milk den the other side??

 


edie,

I gather that it must have been super traumatic for you when GP told you it was H1N1 or dengue. Is the GP a guy? If it wasn't mastitis why did TMC prescribed you antibiotics?



When I started bf, I ever went to a stand-in GP for common cold and he told me not to bf to prevent infecting my bb and prescribed some non-bf friendly medication so I was instructed to pump and throw away my milk.

Milk so precious right? how can pump and throw aways! @#$#!@#^%$ I asked some experienced mummies and then waited for my GP to come in the next day for a re-consultation. She was bf friendly and had 3 kids herself. In the end, didn't have to throw any milk away and my kiddo was fine too. It's shocking sometimes how uninformed some GPs can be about breastfeeding...

 

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