(2010/04) April 2010 mtb

morning mummies



bbdust,

long time no 'see'.



1sttimepapa,

maybe you can tell them about it and hear what they say.



i think in my children's cc, they will undress maybe like 3, then 1 go in to bathe and 2 wrap in towel to wait. then the cycle goes on and not all undress and queue. they also goes by girls first then boys or the other way round and not mixed.



ruru cat,

water can bring. sciossor i never try but bbdust says cannot.



adak,

don't stress, don't stress. its the seasons now, we just have to be extra careful when it comes to hygiene.



vic ma,

i'm so glad that i finally found the right fish oil for them. they love the disney nemo fish fish oil. its make from tuna. i told them can only eat 1 a day then i realise can give up to 4 leh. hahaha.... i think i shall just stick to 1 a day bah. should it be taken in the morning or anytime also can?



they like the gummy bear one too but hubby says its taste yucks. hahahah.....

 


1sttimepapa,

feedback to the teacher or principal first, then see what they say.... in C1's cc, they bath in batches of 2 or 3, and segregated by the sexes. boys first then girls or smthing liddat. will only undress in the non air con bathing area on the bench. when they are done, they also dress themselves on the bench (C1 is 4yo this year).



adak,

maid off for her 2 weeks home holiday?

hfmd season seems to be the whole year around.

if you can, bf longer. C2's immunity is much better than C1's, and C1's immunity is much better than his classmates... C1's cc teacher told me so one day when i was picking him up and we had a quick casual chat. i bf C1 for 14mo and C2 for 21mo.



vaccines

alamak. dunno where the health booklets went in my home. must go and look for them. C2 hasnt taken MMR... i hv delayed due to his egg allergy. hv fed him some egg and he seems to be less allergic now ie instead of rash blooming on his cheeks immediately, now restricted to redness on his chest.



rurucat,

water def ok on board. i hvnt tried scissors too. ask the attendants for metal cutlery to cut up H's food.



it was too quiet to sleep last night.

tmr is C2's bday and he is not by my side. sigh. need to conc on the positives of not having the boys underfoot..... like the jog/walk at East Coast Park before I fired up my computer at home today.

 
Hi Bbdust. How u come in now? iPhone?



Cellow: I must have missed the post where u stopped bf. how did u stop? Where r your boys?

 
Thanxs all. We've decided to tell cc not to bath son since is only half day. 2nd day heartache to both of us as son still cried when we not around.This made us rethink whether he is too young to go cc.

 
1sttimepapa,

he is never too young to go cc. many of ours here is already in school, be it half day or full day.



he needs time to adjust to it so do you as parent.

 
celyn

if it has vit c it should be taken morning best. else u get hyper kids & vit c supposed to be best in am. (since i believe got some sugars too usually gummy bears.



but giving anytime to suit your timing is ok - eat better than didnt eat lor

 
1st time pa

all kids will cry when they go to school - its natural - taking them away from their pillars of security.



but its inevitable - unless we are all able to be stay at home parents - but still they need some form of educational stimulus for their mental well being which a home cannot provide.



i was given a choice of a 2nd maid vs sending my #1 to school - i naturally took the school route - she started speaking within 6 months.

 
maddie,

C2 stopped in Jan.... round abt the time when you gave birth... so ya, u must been too busy to read forum then.

how did he stop? i was sick and sleeping late... by that time, i was only latching him once a day in the morning, not pumping at all. my maid very hao sim, she 'let' me sleep and bottle fed him. 5 days later when i got well, i tried to latch him... he shook his head vehemently and said no, squirming his entire body away from me.

i was super sad... bcz he weaned himself... not my choice at all!!!!



my boys, including Mr C, are in MY this week and the next. without me. staycation!!! for me. haha.



1sttimepapa,

there is never a good time for kids to start school. crying is normal. if you believe the research, then 3yo is the optimal time to start school BUT.... is it feasible in our urban environment where both parents work....?

 
1sttimepa,

Crying is normal almost all the kids i knw cry when they go cc, its either they cry now n get used to it or cry at age 3, same

mah. I rather they cry now n get used to a routine than at 3 cry n tell me he dont want to go to school, i tink that time its more difficult to handle already.



The parents who suffer bad separation anxiety will

Rub it off on the kid, so just let hik cry n leave. He will stop

Eventually jia you!

 
1sttimepapa: yup, it is easier to send earlier. the later it is the harder it is cos they are big when they struggle and can use so many words to refuse to go, it is more painful for parents. previously, when we were young, CC and nursery all not available so old folks not used to us sending kids to school so young. will have negative things to say.



bbd: haha, too bad yr company cannot ban iphone!

 
Thanxs Celynee n Vic ma. It's very true that we, as parents, need to adjust too....I am e more harsh one to ignore son when he is crying n hid one corner. However, mama is softer n hug him after 15mins of crying...can also c mama tears in her eye...

 
1sttimepa

Must ask ur wifey not to go hug him cos todl pg teacher told me the min he cry n parents appear, transition will be even harder n parents anxiety do rub off on the kid cos they can sense it. So yes do ask wifey to go lim kopi after dropping kiddo off. Dont hang around n peep jus trust that the teachers can do the job. Staying around will make it harder for the teacher n the kid.

 
BBdust - 2 yrs??!! peifu peifu!im still sceptical if i can at least maintain 1 yr for #2...but will endeavour coz i wanna be milk cow tis time round like most of u mommies. Wish mi luck!



Tink my parents only intending to bring mimi go sch wen she turns 3...which according to u mommies might be too late le, harder to transition huh? prob will wait till meimei born then we see how, maybe at tat time they'll feel it's time for mimi to attend sch themselves..hehehe

 
BBdust - latching also counted. but ur boi wun bite u ah? Mine jus pumping 4x a day, supply so pathetic but was determined to tong till 1 yo, so jus give her watever i squeeze out lor, total 4 pumps also not even enuf for her 2 feeds...hahah..actually i felt a sense of guilt wen i stopped pumping but tot the output not worth the effort at all..so soon aft, was glad im off!

 
1sttimepapa,

yes, must drop and go. going back to hug him is not helping at all. if your wife can't take it, you have to take over the job and do the dropping off.



my hubby told me he can't drop them off to cc cos he will sure to bring them back if they cry. so i have been the one doing it till they get used to the idea and ok. but mine in a way much easier cos they take school bus. must let go for sure.

 
sgsc: want to send shd send before mei mei born lei. else after that harder to adjust.



1sttimepapa: when i first day sent todM to school, my mom accompany me shopping. my hb said can use his credit card and buy whatever i want. haha

 
After much discussion e wife, we have made joint decision to withdraw him from cc. Our original objective was for him to play n learn n not for 'child care' as now he is being look after by grandma n maid. Our observation last 2 days was most of e time he was wandering in cc n played by himself. We planned to look for playgroup for him instead.

 
Celynlee, am trying hard not to kang cheong... But my lil one now runny nose and cough again... Hai~~~~



cellow, i bf #1 till 1 yr old... Now since I bf #2, will give kor kor as well... Hopefully can help to build up his immunity ...



And yes, my helper's home leave holiday begins from 3am today... 2 more hrs and I'm on my own!

 
morning mummies



adak,

its very common for them to be sick. running nose and cough is consider small case loh. bf does helps them to get well faster and stronger comparing to others.



yu xi doesn't fall sick as much compare to yu ze when he goes to cc. though i bf them for the same duration but cos she has been learning to fight all the virus gor gor bring back from cc since birth.

 
morning ladies (and gentleman)



adak,

haha, i agree w celyn that runny nose/cough is considered small potatoes on the childhood illness scale. other than the childhood runny nose, cough, occasional fever, C1 and C2 has not been ill. at all. i attribute it to BF... i do not tend to avoid crowded places due to health concerns on purpose... i generally prefer nature anyway. if raining, then changi airport it is for the boys!

.... now C1 pipes up to tell me the park/beach is too hot when the sun is out.... he wants to go to air con places *faint*



1sttimepapa,

in that case, yes a short 2-3h playgroup is better for him instead.



playgroup for C2

... is C1! they play, make tents, negotiate for toys, communicate in yowls and screams (so noisy! and hard on my ears! but that is just part of being a child yes?). and when they are bored, they entertain each other.... often by C1 blowing saliva bubbles onto C2's hair.... haiyoor.... or chasing each other around the home. generally my home looks/sounds like 2 little tornadoes are sweeping through.

..... so the solution is to have another child quickly for those with only one? hehe.



sgsc,

even if you dun pump, can still latch in the mornings and evenings... when #2 is a little bit bigger... more than 6-8mo?

there are many ways to bf. not just pure latching or pure pumping. i stopped pumping when C2 was ~15mo and continued latching till 21mo. of course the supply will drop, but it is not just nurition i m providing him. latching gives me an opportunity to reconnect with him esp work takes me away from him (from his pov).

 
cellow,

hahahah.... i like your playgroup for C2. my house also super noisy with them entertaining each other or fighting each other

 
sgsc

besides timing i think 2-3 best time to put them in CC - earlier better some say 1 yr old!



there is no ideal cos every family is different.



but if $$ & time permits -its always good to put earlier as there is this theory.



no matter how much u love or care for your child or grand child or helper has degree from overseas - NO ONE can alone provide stimulus a childcare can provide to entertain the child as well.



i have seen serious cases of hyper active child & overly protective mother & bo chap father - he became a monster - super hyper active - destroys things & always getting into mischief.



mother didnt allow him to join ECAs much in school even which made matters worse.



not that our children are hyper active - but children in general have loads of energy & curiosity - & some brain theorists say kids are most alert from 0-3 yrs old - teaching the child things - perhaps positive things & good mental stimulus before 3-4 yrs old has best effect around this time frame.



you might want to read up & talk to your hb in line of mimi's development &make the decision together.



finding a good CC is another story as well. so there is always give & take in everycircumstance.

 
oh ya i wanted to say this also - you must try to put older child in CC few mths before next child arrives - this helps them adjust better to the CC & the new sibling - avoids them hating school because my mommy dont want me want didi or what self thought theory kids might congure.



& them hating school is super no no for us as parents.

 
Cellow - tats y i told myself i need ensure #2 latches on well tis time coz last time aft i went back work mimi stopped latching oredi..abt 4 mths. BUt i fear getting bitten lei once their fangs come out..alamak..



So cute..hearing hw C1 and C2 run around the house entertaining each other...cant wait for mine to do tat too...then we be freer but only ears fuller!



Maddie/Vicma - i also heard pple saying earlier better esp b4 #2 comes out but tat means NOW coz meimei out in July...stress. Actually we haven realli tot of how, what, wen we wanna settle mimi once meimei out. Tot things be per norm, morn mimi goes my parents house, then i wif meimei during ML...aft tat, both go parents house and period. Then ard 3 yo, bring her to CC downstairs my parents house...hope by then she oredi used to meimei presence n would look fw going to sch instead of tinking we dun wan her?

 
Vicma - now we do send her for enrichment classes n my parents sorta "homesch" her...so we stil tink she is acsdemically ok for now..but we realise she is abit tense ard adult strangers n need abt 20 mins b4 she warms up...but wif kids she is ok. so prob we need to bring her out gaigai more often. Did u noe tat she screamed NO n started whimpering wen we brought her out to sit on those kids buggy rides ...put in the coins happily but once it started moving she jumped out...sigh..so timid. Tot tat was my fav ride wen young..

 
sgsc,

even at 4mo or whatever mo their teeth come out, you have to teach. when they bite, even for fun, you say "OUCH!" loudly, unlatch them, look them in the eye and say firmly 'no biting mama, that hurts. if you want my attention, use your hand to pat me like this', demonstrating to them how to touch you. then place them back onto the nipple.... repeat the whole process until they get it.

even at 1yo plus when C1 and C2 have grown teeth and continue to latch, they seldom bite me... unless my attn is elsewhere and they want to bring my attn back onto themselves (normal what).



freer? me part time referee, part time counsellor (to listen to both sides of the story) and all in all, full time mama. mamas are NEVER free... once i m a mama, my heart resides outside my body liao.

 
Cellow - wah tink i must train from young tat mama be sleeping, watching tv or surfing net while latching, so they dun need my special attention...



tat's true la...though mimi is most times at my mums place, both mi n hb neva seem to be free one lei... also dunno wat we bz wif wen asked. Watsmore u have 2 very active toddlers now...hahaha..tats y u're so skinny ma! too much 'field' exercise

 
SGSC



while mei mei come out - still dunoo whenever you can - spend special quality time with jie jie.



it helps alot.



this time i brought jie jie out alot while didi dunno what is gai gai - just left him with my mil or maid mostly - anyway so young go out - alot of germs & they dont really appreciate & sometimes just quick errand or lunch/meal - just bring #1 lor & hug more so that she accepts #2 better cos she is satisfied.



now #2 can understand liao ai yo! bring 2 out sometimes i want to tear off my hair. #2 wont sit still & always wants to run off & he always has porr at home but we go out for lunch - ok la he also wants to gai bring him - so disruptive lor i have to eat so fast & then push him around in his stroller, then daddy eat. while i quickily eat daddy have to entertain.



happens lunch time is nap time for him so he acts up really badly cos he is sleepy too.



now i know his pattern - we just push him around within 5 mins he will KO! then we can gai & NTUC whatever in peace.

 
morning! such a lovely morning after the rain storms of 2 days ago.



sgsc,

food for thought esp #1 and #3

http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/12_ways.html



after i gave birth, i knew that my time is no longer mine.... suspect i had postnatal depression for C1 over this very reality... that i had no more control over my time, but with Mr C's patience and my own faith, we all pulled through.



BF is not just abt the milk, it is a good time to reconnect with C1 and C2, esp after ML, after i have been away from them. whenever i m around, they turn to me for filling up their love tank.... some days they dowan maid and dowan papa... and yes if i had a bad day at work, those are the days that reduce me to a screaming, hair-tearing mama.... need to recog my rxn is due to my own day at work, nothing to do with the boys.... now that they are bigger, they are more independent of me, and it is bcz of extended BF (not in spite of) - at least i like to believe that. both C1 and C2's dependence needs have been met, so they are secure to go out and explore the world, knowing that they always have a base (mama/papa/home) to return to.

such a joy to watch them learn and explore... knowing that (for now! at least until they are older... ) they would always return to home base.



i rem times when C2 cannot speak or communicate properly yet using words... he was so frustrated that he would yell, piercing yells that seem to bounce off the walls of my apmt.... when that happened, as a FIRST resort, i lift up my blouse to latch him... to remind him that mama is here, and he has my 100% attention. most of the time, he stops yelling (perhaps his mouth is full [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif][IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif][IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif])



long post early in the morning.... i m v passionate abt BF!!

top 3 things i believe. direct latching provides many benefits over pumping... some breastmilk is better than none... and wean the child gently, let him/her lead you, not the other way around.

 
MOrn Mommies! Yes am looking fw to the long weekend too!! Happy coz Mon taking leave too..hehehhe. prob bringing mimi for her maiden trip at the zoo tml..hopefully weather be good.



Vicma - hahha...can understd the "stresS" involved wen bringing the kids out, so tats y u seldom or almost neva see us wif mimi outside one...we prefer to shop in peace..but again keeping her at home too much also not gd for her development. This i fully agree,so now we r trying to make up for it! ;p



Cellow - U realli 24 xiao4 mother n wifey..somehow i feel tat u mommies here can cope wif ur kids so easily but for mi, once mimi starts to show pattern i sianz oredi, no patience. Then ur link on the 12 ways..wooo..realised now y my dad say dun beat mimi (n he also neva laid a finger on us wen we were growing up) coz tats hw she learns to go ard beating pple...sigh...vicious cycle..but since she doesnt listen so bobian, jus resort to smacking lor...n still mimi doesnt seem to understd tat we r angry too...can turn ard next moment n smile..or she pretend not to care. *FAINTZ*

 
morning all,



I forgot to pay sch fees hehee 1st time pay no habit to do that and furthermore nv send me bill.



I called to inform I b paying later this evening and also asked why the kids there flu la cough la their parents nv bring them to doctor.. and my son because of it becomes so sick lei ..

last night he throw out a big ball of food / phlegm and dont know what stuff.. yucks.. midnight I got to clean and change bedsheet..

 
sgsc,

haiyooor dear... it all starts w the mindset.

if i think my boys are a nuisance and they impose onto my life, i will make myself miserable, likely tk my misery out onto them and cause havoc in the house. i m the emotional centre of the house (maddie's wife/mother is the sun, all others are just planets analogy comes to mind.... *grin*).... if i m angry or down ah, i affect the boys and Mr C too.

if i think my boys are a joy and a blessing and sent to teach me certain life lessons... patience and openness being just 2 that come to mind now.... then i m happy and relaxed around them, open to new experiences and i can find joy in them and with them. and i figured if i can look back at their nonsense and laugh... heck why not laugh abt it right now?



i left C1 and C2 unsupervised for a while w paper and markers. guess what i saw when i came back to them? colourful floors!!! luckily ceramic tiles... easy to wipe off. i had a choice then... to scream at them and make them feel really bad... or to laugh at the colourful art..... i made them take wet washcloths after laughing and hugging them, and wipe off the worst of it.

i tell you... at that point, it was either hug them or hit them.... once i had their warm bodies into my arms, it was difficult to hit.



you have smthing going for you, your dad din hit. both my parents smacked me. so i have to unlearn slowly... and try other methods.



woofy,

YEA. I love #12 too! i m currently reading her first book "The natural child" la... super like.

 
SG_SC ...Perhaps to mimi, smacking is now an affirmation of what she's doing is right ..that's why mimi doesn't seem to care & smile it off.



One thing I learnt fm sharing with gfs which you may choose to apply ...when my todE climbs onto the sofa n then up the window ( can imagine what a monkey i hv at home!), he turns & waves at us with one hand while making eye contact...we panicked cos it's so dangerous & todE sometimes gets too engrossed in waving that he doesn't have a firm grip at the window ..Our typical response was to shout / scold him loudly & remove him away which to him means OK cos he's getting attention from my dh n me ...NOW when this happens, we simply remove him from the window w/o zero eye contact & telling him a firm NO ..now this is not easy cos todE tries this contunously for duno hw many times until he finally learnt that climbing the window will not get any attention from me n dh ..instead he will be ignored ..the climbing still happens once in a while with TodE looking for the attention ( scolding from us, eye contact) ...On hindsight, I acknowledge the fact that my todE is seeking our attention & trying ways & means all the time ..hehe

 
Cellow: yup, agree that our mood rubs off on the kiddos and hubby. tho when my girl is fussy and irritable, it takes all of my inner strength to remain cheerful and ungrumpy lo. i find it does help and she will not be as grumpy. HOWEVER, i don't think i would have the energy to laugh if my floor is so colourful! also think my girl will find it amusing and try it again.



yup, discipline wise, now it is stern NO and occasionally depending on seriousness of offense, naughty corner. generally after naughty corner, she will avoid doing it for some time.



Sgsc: how's the zoo? must take tram hor, when i went there while pregnant, walking so much was quite tiring.



my hb very on. we go out just 4 of us for dinner every friday. do or die we just go. mostly it's ok. sometimes we gulp down our dinner with one hand while each holding one kid in the lap. but so far, still feel its worth it. have never brought the maid to help babysit tho tempted. good practice for when we go overseas and have to be maidless.

 
chips,

not to be offensive. i continue to send them to cc even with flu and cough. even though i have bring them to see doc and provide medication to cc for feeding, i will still let them go.



simple reasons:

1. if i have someone to look after them, i might not send them to full day cc.

2. keeping them away from cc means taking leave myself. not sure how many days of leave i need to take for them to recover before i can go back to work. i guess soon, i will be jobless. this will be worse if i have more than 1 kid and they fall sick one after another.



so i'm a typical inconsiderate mummy who continue to send my kids to cc to spread the germs around even though they are sick. the only time i will keep them at home is when they are having fever cos cc will reject them anyway.

 
celynlee,

I can understand fully thats the purpose of sending kids to centre but seeing the kids so sick, i really wonder did their parents bring them for proper medication.

The few I came across during the first 3 days til when my boy celebrate birthday (1 mth after)they are stil not well, running nose badly, cough.. ai yo.. feel so heartpain I even take tissue and wipe their nose.

 
chips,

its very common lah. they might have recover when you are not there to see and so happen to be sick again when you are there loh.

 
chips: i'm like celyn. as long as no fever, i still send. no matter how much meds also need to wait it out. sometimes can have runny nose and cough for as long as one week. to me, she prob got from the school anyway so i keep at home, other kids are still going to go and pass that bug around.

 
chips ..it's v common de ..one thing u can do is to ask the teacher how the other sick kids in class are doing & if they help to wipe off the mucus esp with runny noses all over. ...my boy's PG nw v common ..the only thing i cannt tolerate ( if i happen to be ard) is for other kids to be coughing non-stop ...the scary thought of air borne bacteria plus the poor kid coughing his/her guts out is nerve-racking...On occassions like this, i will 'remind' the teacher that it is not so right to let the sick child into the playgroup cos of the health condition.

 


maddie,

yes, especially when they are young, their immunity is still building up so tend to fall sick easily. when they are older, you will be able to tell that they don't fall sick that often. yu ze hardly fall sick though yu xi might be sneezing for weeks on and off.

 

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