(2010/04) April 2010 mtb

Brielle alrdy got lotsa spanking (real spanking with very obvious red finger marks on her thighs kind, not friendly slap) from me for various cmi behaviour... n now she knows mama is not to be messed with... time for me to upgrade to cane soon too...

 


bbd: i try to put her to sleep without latch on fri and sat nights when sleep is not so crucial to me. also if 8pm latch she don't fall asleep then no more n she sleeps by other means. usually i lie with her, rub her back, sing song etc. (cos i can't bear to do the celyn way). try not to latch too often at night, if she wake up want latch, try to use prev used method to put her back to sleep. she is actually very tired n wants to go back to sleep also. finally, we reached a stretch of no sickness, no teething etc. also she takes a bottle of FM before sleep now so i don't worry that she hungry n need midnight snack. todL shd be ok also cos daytime naps, he don't latch to sleep.



gbh: hugs... i would be quite angry with myself too for letting her play. if yr mom can help with discipline n teaching then good lor. we really can't make other parents discipline their own kids. in the meantime, keep everything precious before they come over lor.



dazz: just feel glad that u will be rid of her and her poor HK employer will be paying so much for this kind of maid.

 
maddie

okie okie he will drink FM before sleeps too so latching i think is more for comfort. as for his nite wakings, at times he will still point to my chest and says mum mum so how ah? shld let him mum or not cos most likely he is hungry de. he wont take bottle, i tried many times he got angry and woke himself up into a crying frenzy.

 
bb,

bbO also points to my chest and says mum mum then i shove breast to him.. he suck a while dont want liao but he will sniff the other breast and then go back to sleep. Think wanna smell my bawu.. lol

 
stepping into controversial terrority - discipline.



i started to smack C1 only in the past 2 months. he is gonna turn 3 in jul. i figure he doesnt quite have the receptive language skills to understand fully my instructions till now.



the other thing that all the elder females (mum, aunt, MIL) brought me short on is - smack to teach, not smack to vent adult's anger. then need to sayang later and explain. dun smack until his head starts to droop and he cannot meet your eyes. that is a cowed child, not a child who just had a teachable moment.



i have not smacked C2 yet.

i only need to raise my voice at him, and he protests/whines.



MIL has ever quoted "ci mu duo bai er" to me before. and told me to always stand by Mr C's side in C1/C2's eyes. no matter that i will yell at him later behind their backs. sometimes that moment alone w Mr C can take daaaaaaays after the incident.

 
cellow,



wah! i think toddB probably got more smacking compared to ur C1+C2 add up tog bah... i started smacking her hmm... since she is not exactly an infant? i also dun rem... but mine is a zhun bui one.. smack alrdy also wont cry.. she will just look at u... then she smacks her ownself! or smacks u back! now no more like that... now she seems to understands she is being reprimanded... so will def cry.. even a small smack also will cry bcoz she knows she is being scolded... sometimes a "EH!" from me she also cries... or pout... like very cham like tt... so now i no need to resort to spanking so much bcoz she knows mah... n i think she wants to please us... so she will stop doing whatever she is doing if we "eh" her... only at certain times when she insists then tantrums break loose lor...

 
heehee.. me not in the position to talk about latch or not so, zip. =X



regarding spanking, erm.. usually, daddy is the one spanking. Me, use mouth nia. Unless the rare moments of i really cannot tahan, then i spank. So far, BbZ haven't kena from me. TodZ, think less than 5 times. I told hubby before. I dun believe in caning. The most, use hand smack. My MIL ever threatened to use cane on TodZ. But so far, haven't happened yet and i hope it will not. Anyway, think if the cane enter my house, i will throw it away. oppsie. =X

 
maddie,



i also dunno lah.. last time tt toddler not so difficult to teach one leh.. last time is mine that is a headache! super whiny n cranky... now its that toddler that is more stubborn than my gal lor... i suspect the parents din discipline her so as time goes by bcome like tt... bcoz the parents only spend few waking hours with her mah.. most of the time is with my mother n my mother cant discipline her much bcoz not own child wat... can only scold n smack hand kind.. not like my toddB, i smack real hard one... sigh.. even my mother says she is getting more n more diff to handle...

 
dazz,



my fren whos is quite an expert in children thingy told me dun use hand to smack leh... esp very young kids bcoz they associate your hand with love n touch n hugs... so use an object like a ruler to discipline instead.. but i dun care lah.. where got the time to bring ruler everywhere? i just use hand... but i will try to rem this as much as possible.. im those for the school of thought "spare the rod n spoil the child" kind... lotsa kids nowadays like tt mah... i see the way they behave to their parents i feel like slapping the kids for them!

 
cellow,

wow. i have been smacking yu ze since very young too leh. i will go 'eh' as first warning, then goes 'if you touch/push/throw, mummy beat' as 2nd warning. if still do whatever is not allow, i will go over and smack his hand liao. in the beginning, of course he don't know what happen. sometimes, he will cry immediately or cry on his 2nd try and got beaten. now he knows i mean it. sometimes, he will still try his luck but now will give me his naughty hand to beat.



yu xi leh is harder to discipline. she will chu all sort of pattern. sometimes, cry till very cham at first warning, sometimes, 2nd and sometimes even after got beaten also never cry. you never know which card she is showing each time but i still discipline in the same way. hoping that she will eventually understand and behave better. but she is definitely more stubborn. if she wants something and i refuse to give her now. she will burst out crying loudly then when i give to her, she will shake violently and refuse it liao. its like i want now if i don't get it, i don't want liao.

 
cellow,



yes yes. dun discipline child when in anger but when we r calm.. im also guilty of tt... bcoz they can sense it n will make a huge diff in their character building n also their respect for us next time... so i always remind myself to chk my tone when i scold toddB, izzit full of anger?

 
gbh,

huh, cannot use hand to smack? i always use hand leh.



dazz,

i always use must buy cane but never get to do it and hasn't reach the stage of cane yet. hopefully, i will never get to use it.

 
gbh, lolz... cant be carry a cane around also right? haha.. think what cellow mentioned is very true. Beat is one thing, but must make sure the kid understand what was the smack for.. dun bou tin tin kena whack and blur blur duno y...

 
celyn,



ur yx sounds exactly like mine!!! sometimes i give in n give her what she wants then she will throw away too! like telling u that "now i dun want liao n im angry!".. mine will also cry at a eh or can also dun cry despite being smacked... stubborn to the core...

 
celyn,



i also use hand bcoz i smack on the spot but my fren told me not to.. bcoz very young kids cannot understand yet n they get very confused y one moment u use hand to sayang n hug n next moment u use hand to smack... they tend to associate the discipling obj with the action.. so my fren said use a ruler or cane or something lah.. not our hands...

 
dazz,



i will warn first with my voice n give a stern look.. if still misbehaves, i will smack... usually i smack for things like she throw things in anger or hit ppl.. for other tantrums or reasons i dun smack, i just scold n walk away... and when she misbehaves (like hit ppl) when tired i also dun discipline her bcoz i know she is tired... i will just say a stern "NO!" but i wont smack her hand like i would usually do... same for when she is sick/hungry.. bczo we adults when tired/sick/hungry also cannot control temper liao... what more a child? i usually address the need to feed/sleep asap..

 
gbh,

hahahaha..... he say i also always do that when i'm not happy with him. ahhahaa.....



i'm not sure if the use ruler thing is true, i have many friends who are in early childhood and didn't hear from them before. maybe i go kpo and check with them.

 
oh btw todd B had her jab ytd n i got hb to ask pd abt the when overseas cant drink tap water how, he said mineral water vs distilled water, he said mineral is better opt...

 
toddB having her MMR next month n i think 3 more mths down the road got another jab... jab until i dunno what jabs liao... she had her pnuemo dunno which # jab ytd... last mth was chicken pox...

 
chips,



oh forgot to ans ur qn, savings plan n endowment plans are basically the same thing... just tt savings plan is a very layman general term... while endowment is the proper term stated in the policy TnC....

 
Hi mummies,



Anyone has a good maid agency to recommend or good transfer maid?



It is a stressful month for me. Quit my good life job and got into a shitty job that need me to work late everyday. Maid left, both kids are sick! Now struggling!

 
Bbd: oh and for sleep. TodM has her bolster that she uses to self soothe back to sleep.



Gbh: yup if whole day with yr mom hard for parents to intervene much. They can only correct what they see, if they are keen at all.



I try not to smack her unless serious 'offense'. Else is just NO n show index finger, stern face. Sometimes I say mummy is angry. Not sure if that is correct or not. She knows when we tell her not to do stuff. Dep on whether she wan follow or not. Sometimes she can do n ownself 'no no'. Apparently goal is that she will think of doing wrong thing, imagine mom angry face then stop herself. We can only hope.



Think is still ok to teach that tod what is right n wrong tho maybe not to smack since others kid.

 
morning mummies [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



maddie

okie maybe i try when i am in aust since I can sleep in hee [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
yah loh. i'm at home to babysit yu xi.



oh, forget to share this. yesterday i saw a power ang mo mummy with a girl (maybe 3-4 years old) and a maid. she actually brings a car seat out and a stroller with them to go shopping. i was shocked to see her installing the car seat in the cab before she put her girl on the car seat and go off in the cab. everyone is looking at her cos she is taking quite a while. really pei fu her, i won't go out if ever i need to bring a car seat along. the car seat is those toddler one with back somemore leh. not booster seat which is smaller loh. even booster seat, i also won't bring loh.

 
Morning mummies. Maid contract will b expiring at end of Aug. Asked her last night whether she intend to renew. She said give her 3 days to consider. Think she want to make us think she is indispensable n ask for more. Mom said y not tell her new pay. She thought high pay will make her stay. But I refused n will only inform her when she is interested. Though her performance so far is ok, wife n I shall not be taken by her ransom n will only give her max 30% increment.

 
celyn

wow, bring car seat along? steady leh.



1sttimepapa

mine also ending contract nxt year and she said she wants to go home after that, headache [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
celyn

imagine shopping with stroller and carseat wahh



morning orangey [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

how's ur DH job hunt?

 
bbdust,

imagine carrying a car seat around when your girl wants to sit on the stroller. unless she tie the car seat on the stroller and let her girl sit on the car seat but i think its pretty dangerous to do that loh.

 
Morn mummies



I won't bring a car seat on a cab too.



Actually I recently started going out alone with bbS.. He sits car seat alone at the back. But still dun like stroller so I have to carry or run after him.



He's better now no vomit but still soft stools. On Pediasure. I manage to switch. My pd said cos he drink little milk so drinking pediasure is better cos it's well nutrition .. Pediasure is quite ex I feel compared to other milk. And his 3 day stay in Mt A amounted to 3.8k ... Quite happy that can claim company insurance

 
HJ

great to hear that he is okie now. yah pedisure is suppose to act as a meal supplement for fussy eaters and its very ex loh. my colleague bought from sheng shiong, she said its cheaper there.

 
Hi Cellow,



Thanks for your concern. I don't have MIL, only a whiny and naggy FIL who sweats like a pig after playing and carrying my gal for less than an hour. No way he will agree (or I will agree!!!) to take care of my children while me and hb go holiday. Nevermind, what will be will be. Like you tell me, it is God's blessing for us to have kids, so I won't begrudge my little ones for the lost chance to travel (hmm... maybe force them to sponsor me next time when they start working? Hee...)



Oh, abt the new maid har, haiz.... she just ganna her 1st warning from my mom after working 3 weeks for us. She doesn't know how to be independent after we briefed her on her daily schedule and doesn't know how to cook unless under supervision. Overall, i feel she will have a better fit in a family where the Employer is very hands-on and wants everything to be done her way, not so ideal in my household where we expect our maid to be more independent after awhile.



Hi 1sttimepapa,



If your maid intends to go back to Agency in the end, would you be so kind to PM me to inform me? I would like to employ a maid who has experience taking care of young child. End-Aug is fine with me as I am due end-oct or early nov, so still got time to train. But of course that being said, I hope that she will stay with your family in the end as it is really hard to find good help nowsadays.

 
Bbd, u know last few mths she has been telling neighbors that she is going back after contract. We r not sure she is using this to hint to us to give her big increment so as to change her mind.

 
1sttimepapa

i also feel my helper is telling me in advance either as a warning for us to treat her better (its a hint to my MIL) or she is demanding for a pay increment but then really she is so good with my boy that if she leave, i will be left dangaling, okie which explains why I need to find a CC and send todl in.

 
bbdust,

No luck yet [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] I feel he is not so enthu in his job searching but I know lah, cause he did talk to his mgr about the revision of his pay since he got promoted but promotion doesnt means pay increment lol

 

today's topic is maid woes huh...



nowadays maids also choose their employers and bargain with them.



guess money is a real impt factor for them lor. so if someone else is willing to pay them more, then really why would they stay put unless their job is so senang with us.



then again, also cannot let them bargain and keep pushing up the price. think is a fine balance between being fair to them and letting them know that they are not indispensible in this household, and that another household may be worse. on her off day i will really do what housework she does, to show her that we can manage without her, if push comes to shove.







ruru: did u choose an experienced maid? ie older, work in sg or other country as maid before. but usually they also pretend dunno at first, later if you give them your trust and confidence, they will ownself take over everything liao. then need to watch how much they takeover!

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

K
1st pregnancy, help needed!
Replies
4
Views
3K
MrFaith
M
D
Consecutive Miscarriage - Autoimmune Tests?
Replies
6
Views
7K
Ms Soh
M
A
Husband wants a divorce
Replies
46
Views
3K
Mongkok
M
S
Confinement nanny to recommend (Auntie Fen)
Replies
8
Views
1K
sciencegirl
S
S
Confinement nanny to recommend - Auntie Fen
Replies
8
Views
996
sciencegirl
S

Back
Top