(2010/04) April 2010 mtb

Dazz & BB,



I agree with the both of you.



it is impossible to change job as he is a air-traffic controller. I understand if his temper is bad but this could not be the attributing factor right?



In his family only the dad is not that bad temper. The man and his younger sis inferited the bad temper from the mum (the mum admitted herself). There was once when the couple quarrelled so loudly dunno over what matter till the parents of the man have to apologise to the wife wor.





I ever ask them to go for marriage counselling and the man to go for anger management course but they dun wan.

 


wow.. if your fren give him another chance and he returns to his old self... then it's up to ur fren if she wants to live with it or decide to stop it lo. It's hard to change one's temper de la.. if not, why do we have the sentence, "leopards can't change its spots?". Since she accomodated the 1st time, and if she decides to accomodate the 2nd time, then she must be prepared that she might have to accomodate her lifetime liaoz lo. If she feels that she cannot accomodate a lifetime, then better ask her to think properly. Is she the independant type?? Sometimes, no man, also not a bad thing in life wor. Especially she got no kids to worry about. If she can get on with life, then why accomodate? paisey ah.. personal feel. =X

 
piglet, dazz, bbdust,

thanks for asking. i m ok la. just that Mr C throw temper back at C1 again and smacked him w/o explaining and sayang him after that. mind and heart disturbed... but as my aunt and mil say... the kids will act up / throw tantrums / disobey etc etc, cannot let them dictate my mood. so even though mind and heart disturbed, my spirit is serene, bcz this too shall pass.

oooohhhmmmmm. so zen. heheh.



i will, i will, use giant hammer/velvet glove to hammer into Mr C's thick head that each incident that leads to a smack is a teachable moment. or he wants his son to just rem the violence in the smack. hmmph.



i also smack. on sunday, single parenting, Mr C at work. C1 used self inking stamps to stamp on the bedsheet, 1st smack. then acted up when drank milk, stuck his hand into the cup purposely to spill the milk, second smack. later he told the maid, mama smack me. maid asked why. he said bcz he split the milk. so he knows why i smacked him.



dazz,

Mr C is following me for this trip. ILs are here wed evening (i fly out thu early morning) to take care of C1 and C2 for us. i heart them la.



piglet,

i can only say bbdust is rite. my own papa said to me before marriage, Mr C this man... then proceeded to blah blah blah all his perceived faults out. ended off with you decide if you can live with all that.

 
Dazz,



No paisey one lah. Since I posted here to ask for opinion means its open for discussion and opinions.



I told her lor.



To me marriage is a lifetime thing and if decided to go into it, no matter wat must find ways to work things out and in my dictionary there is no such things as divorce or separation one. Communication is very very impt lor.



She is those independent type but dunno if she would prefer to be single or attached.



BUt one thing is she goes clubbing every weel to destress herself from work. I am just worried the kind of companions that she gets from all these clubbings as she has some frens who are divorcee.



I can only say this woman is not stable yet. Machiam like still wanna play.

 
Hi All.

Got to Beijing safely. Wasn't a bad flight. I managed to persuade the check-in staff to give me an entire row of seats to myself - got her to block the other seats next to me so I got to sit alone and to lie down for a nap. Grin.



The quality of air in Beijing is appalling. So much smog. I am looking out of the office window on the 33rd floor and everything looks hazy. Am going to try and hide indoors as much as possible.

 
hey mummies!



Ming...is the air real hazy?? oh gosh...im going to BJ next mon....sigh



piglet ....ACCOMODATING with a visible limit is the key...both parties need to work on it TOGETHER ...no instant results...it can be a very long process depending on both parties ...Talk talk n talk things out ...it shld help ...obviously if yr fren needs to reconsider the marriage, she certainly has hope that things will work out well ...might be depressing to duno when exactly but if yr fren dun give it all up like that, then there will always be some room for improvement.



hehe ..one thing i always make known to my dh is " if 1 day i diam diam suddenly with no opinion, then u know i will just throw in my big white towel & heck care."...so give n take ...take & give as well lor.

 
back from lunchie



piglet

hmm i feel most women goes into a relationship/marriage thinking that they could change a person but i feel its more impt to look at all the bad traits of another person and see if one can accept prior to marriage then to pray and hope that the person can change cause of love.



a deep rooted trait will take how many years to change? there might only be a slight improvement despite all the efforts loh. can she live with slight improvments?



u have already told him to go for anger mangaement and them to go for marriage counselling so if the guy don't want to self help for the sake of his marriage, who can help him/them?



ming

yeah go beijing [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] how's the sanitation?



cellow

hugs hugs hugs all these shall pass ommmhh together [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
XLH: Yes, the smog here is bad. Apparently it's due to the wind direction so it may improve by the time you are here next week?



BBDust: Have only used the washrooms in the hotel so far so cannot comment. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Ming, wear mask when you need to walk on the streets!! If not, try to avoid going out if possible since smog is bad. Take care!

 
ruru,

My fridge is Whirlpool one not bad, recommended by MIL cause she said her whirlpool lasted her 16yrs and still is LOL~ Harvey Norman nor Best Denki and Courts carries them so I only managed to buy it from Gain City and yes, it is still very well maintained even though i forget to close the fridge door at times but ice still freezing well LOL!!! The only time it went haywire was when I thought it was spoilt but no, it was because there was a mini tripoff and I only found out after a day. Thank goodness my BM had a safe place cause friend was staying just my opposite block when the tripoff happend lol..



My hood is from Ariston one no comments but I know Mayer always have those package where it comes with a hob and hood.

 
Hi Piglet,



I think I know why the woman suddenly 'feel' his bad temper. Last time in dating stage, if angry with each other, got cooling off period as in each go back to each other's house and other distractions such as friends, pets, TV. Staying together and breathing down each other's neck is a different ballgame all together.



Me and my hb are both bad-tempered persons but i win hands-down so he give in to me (sometimes) or else i give in to him (rarely, hee...). We ever had cold war for 1 month and it is really like 2 strangers living under the same roof.



For your friend;'s case, i agree with your opinion. If she wants the marriage, then 1 word - REN. If she thinks the man will change his bad-temperness for her, then she is wrong. It is very difficult for a bad-tempered person to become mild. What she can work out with him is some ways to accommodate both sides. Like for food, maybe 3 days out of 7 days, he chooses what to eat and she keeps quiet etc.

 
Hi Ming,



Think of the positive side. All your beijing pics will have romantic misty look without even changing the camera lens or photoshop! Hee...

 
Woofy,



I agree with u. U r jus like my hubby! So I will reflect what I have done and always give and take.



My gf is really considering this r/s and she feels that the guy is gd except for his bad-temper. Sigh... but she dunno if she can take it if history repeats itself.



BB,



I asked her if can she live with slight improvments? she did not reply. ANd I told her at times her sttitude towards her own parents is not very gd too! So how can she expect her man to be perfect to her too? This is my personal tots lah. Then she just kept quiet.





As for counselling I think they feel paisey that's y rejected.





RuRu,



Frankly speaking, I myself is one very bad-tempered person!!! But after having a child and my role change from a wife to a mother, then I start to tone down and reflect on my own actions as I dun wan my child to see and learn what I have done in a wrong manner.



So now at times even when I am not happy with Mr Piglet, I will jus try to close one eye and only talk to him when baby piglet is asleep.



But I can't teach my gf this way cos she might misunderstood that only with a child can her marriage work and the man can curb his temper.









Cellow, Woofy, Dazz, BB & RuRu,





Thanks for all the advise. (^^)



Hope I can knock some sense into them and that this gf of mine can make a decision and dun regret it. ;p

 
Hi Cellow,



Envy, envy and more envy. I don't know when I can have a holiday with my hb only. Maybe when the kids turn 16? Nobody wants to take care of them for me. Haiz...



Enjoy urself and try to get your points across to your HB while holidaying in London. Holiday mood hor, talk sensitive issues in a relaxed environment, things can work out better?

 
BB & mummies,



thanks so much for lending me your listening ears. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



*Heart* all of you! ^^

 
Ruru,

Yah, the hood still alive and kicking and has served me very well for 4 years and hope it will continue so I will give very good appraisal for her LOL. I think time to change the filter cause supposedly was told to change every 1yr but now 4yrs still haven't change but absorbent still okay :p

My hob from TechnoGas one. Last time Mayer packages are more attractive. Its either hood and oven package or Hood or hob package. I took the hood and oven so got my hob from TechnoGas which is within my budget. Tempered glass one not bad cause dunno how many times Papa Orangey have dropped the heavy kettle onto it but its still like brand new? Just that I think it gets dusty easy cause glass?

 
mummies, i just want to confirm if i remember my PD's instructions correctly. Voren and progesic can be given 4 hours apart when high fever right? Or must keep to minimum 6 hours ah? alamak.. my brain suddenly cannot function leh!

 
Hi Dazz,



I checked the PD's medicine that she prescribed for high fever (more than 39 degrees). It is Neurofen and it is to be taken 6hrs when necessary.

 
I cant call to check now.. clinic not open. Voren is suppository. I remember him telling me after giving voren, if 4hours later still high fever then can give progesic. But that instructions was given years back.. corz it's been a long while since todZ got persistant high fever liaoz.

 
bbd: not at RH yesterday la... next appt 3 weeks time =)



piglet: sounds like they both got issues to deal with. she just has to decide whether she wants to stay in marriage or not. if yes, then what are her conditions to stay. if conditions not fulfilled is she willing to leave. think as friend, also better not force her to do anything, wait later she regret then blame you.



dazz: what is voren and progesic??



cellow: yup, the differences in parenting styles starting to show liao... lucky my hb usually give in to me. we had this tiff over sleep training and weaning, when and how last month. then called a truce and he left us alone and suffered thru the multiple awakenings with us. anyway, todM slept thru for the first time EVER last night, after two nights of withholding latching for comfort. it wasn't even that hard, just pat pat her for 5-10 min 1x each night. my hb didn't even wake up and thought i fed her back to sleep. he thought she slept thru cos missed afternoon nap yesterday! then i said no lei, i had been "sleep training" her past two nights, then he found out i never latch her back to sleep. haha! anyway, no thanks no praise this morning but anyway i feel the love still la. =)



anyway, think of it that you are leaving C1 and C2 in the hands of yr very capable MIL lor. go and have a good couple time with Mr C, get him to buy you a bag (or two)... maybe come back with C3. haha!!

 
Maddie,



Yup. They both have issues to deal with. I am just telling her in general how I fee towards a r/s. I am not commenting anything on theirs. I feel as a gd fren, I need advise her a little cos I feel she is still playful and not stable. Watever I told her are in general and my opinion towards a r/s only. ;)

 
maddie,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo *shakes off C3 bb dust*

no praise ah. dun scold me good already.

the bag (maybe bags) is coming out from OUR money.

hooray for todM sleeping through!



rurucat,

ILs? if your parents are unable to help.

btw is your maid here already? how how?

hob: oh yes get the normal ones, not the induction ones who look oh-so-sleek. the LT health effects of the magnetic field of the inductions hobs is not medically proven to be safe - yet.



ming,

wear mask. and no white clothes for you! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] lest they come back grey.



piglet,

we can advise you, you can advise your fren. but. tis her life, babe. ask more qns to find out her viewpoint rather than prescribe a solution.



dazz,

got hold of PD liao?

 
orangey, lolz.. gbh say the toddler that her mum babysit.. not her mum.



gbh, xiao xiao qi.. take deep breath.. cool... dun affect #2. Btw, how come that kid is in ur house?

 
Cellow, didn't managed to get PD but i got the answer liaoz. =)



oh ya.. cellow asked abt rurucat's maid then i recall what mine told me. She say she don't want to continue her contract with me. She wants to go HKG where she can earn 3times more and gets an off day every week. hahahahahha... i duno to be happy or sad. lolz.

 
My mother comes over daily with the toddler during lunch time. N this is what happened! Not 1st time she spoilt or lost my toy Liao!!!! That time I bought a wooden xylophone from better toy store n the stick is still missing till date! We suspect she threw the stick into the waste basket n we had probably unknowingly threw away liao bcoz we combed thru hse n still could not find it!!!

 
Yes!!! Tt y so pissed!!! New toy!!! Old toy I at least won't be so angry!!! I totally cannot stand this toddler lah. She super stubborn but she understand complex instructions one wor. If say dun understand I can still be ok. She likes to anyhow take things n put in at other parts of the home n I gotta keep searching for them n though told her cannot take she still take n there was once she not happy I scold her, she pushed toddB down while on storming away!!!

 
Orangey,



She's abt slightly older than 1.5 yrs old. Her parents won't do anything lah I think. Also dun want my mother be in a spot. Wait they think anything spoilt must be their gal fault meh? Bcoz they not around to witness mah. If they around to witness then at least maybe still can ask them pay. But even then most ppl will just pay a token for the part. Nit the whole set cost. Now I dunno where to get replacement part. Trying to see if the seller got sell bor. Will pm her in a while..

 
gbh,

(drily) tis slightly different when both children are yours. the situation you describe of one pushing the other, and hiding the other one's toys happens every day in my home with C1 and C2.



dazz,

oh tell her that she will have to pay for her own lodging and food lor in HK. or just ying chow ying chow and smile.

 
cellow, no wor.. i told her she have to pay for her own lodging and food.. she told me no, she checked with the agent. All covered. And the loan she has to take up, will be deducted from her monthly salary, as per how it is now. Sound too good to be true but then, she mentioned she's done checking all details with the agent then let her be lo..

 

cellow,



if its my own kid, i will def beat or cane that child for such behaviour but bcoz its somebody else's kid, that y i cant do anything, can only scold!

 
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