1st time Mummy walking into depression - 5.5mths baby gal on milk strike <IMG SRC="http://www.singap

Hi

I'm a first time mummy &amp; hv been strugging with the demands of being a 1st time mum since the day my princess is born .. initially, was really demanding hving to cope with night feeds, her colicky cries EVERY evening for 1.5 hrs (min) and her cranky mood swings.. well.. things have been getting a little better &amp; manageable when she was 2.5mths and since then we hv been enjoying the time/bonding together as a family.

She is currently now 5.5mths old and since last sat was on milk strike. Her usual milk (enfalac) intake (which is already very little as compared to other babies of her peers) ranges from around 800~ 100ml .. since last sat, it has dropped drastically till 600~ 800ml.. past 3 days.. WORSE .., 580, 650ml &amp; yesterday 550ml. She refuse to drink her milk and will chew on the teats but surprisingly she is taking baby rice cereal (frisocream)v well &amp; i am aware that baby of her age should take 1 semi-solid feed a day with 4-5 milk feeds. But bcos she refuse to drink, i have to increase it to 2 semi-solid feeds else i wonder where she get the energy intake. the comforting part is she loves to drink plain water and is able to poo poo everyday.

my girl birth weight is 2.86kg and my heart just sank everytime we bring her for her monthly jabs at clinic as her weight doesnt seem to increase much. Currently she weighs a miserable of 6.25kg (25 percentile) whereas her height is 67cm (80 percentile) sometimes how i wish it was the reverse. (haiz) so u can imagine my gal is rather petite size &amp; she's relatively tall for her age.

She is very active still, playing and very alert. I suspect her sudden decrease in milk intake is probably due to her teething as i felt bumps within her gums .. she salivate alot and she will get really cranky during her feeding time. nw she only take 60 ~ 80ml per feed during day (The first 30-40ml, she can gulp fast..the remaining 30ml have to coax &amp; "force") .. but she can drink fast &amp; well at night (probably due to her half drowsy zz so can fin more) .. ysterday, my mum has to resort to feeding her with a spoon during one of her feed cos she is obviously not drinking.

i have been deligently reading up the forum and notice some of mummies also experiencing the same like me.. but as compared to milk intake, at least theirs are still within the recommended min intake per day (at least 600ml) . .. my princess is already drinking nt alot as compared to others.. and her weight is so miserably tiny.. now with her decreased in milk intake.. i cant imagine what will her weight will be nxt month when we bring her for jab. i alwys envy when i see other mummies talking about their 5-6 mths babies their milk intake/weight etc.. i will choose to read quietly behind the screen cos my heart aches when i know my girl is defintely lagging behind by so much so much ..

sorry for my long-winded story but i'm feeling really very stress up &amp; depressed that everytime my tears will run when i pour away her milk down the sink.. i am at a loss, dont know what to do.. tough i kept telling myslf everynight that "Tomorrow will be a better day" - maybe my gal will resume her drinking intake tomorrow.. but it doesnt seem to be it. ..
 


hi motherbear,

i got the same problem since baby was 3 -4 months old, start refusing milk. Now my boy is 10 months old. Milk intake still very low. At times, zero milk for the whole day. Typically, around max 2 -3 feeds per day of 125 ml. His weight since 4 months plus till 7 months plus, gain of less than 1 kg. When I see all those breast milk poured away, feel very pain.

I was also very stress. So i ended up pumping him with 3 meals of cereal / fruits etc.

I also tried sleep feeding. Just when he's about to doze off or settle down, I'll feed him in the sarong. It works a bit, better than nothing.

Now, I started him on Yoghurt &amp; cheese, on PD's advice. You may want to check with PD, when can start on those for your baby.

Also, tofu &amp; ikan bilis are good source of calcium. Can try add to porridge.
 
Hi Mango

read in the net and i guess babies can only consume cheese (at least 8 mths onwards) and consume yoghurt (at least 7 mths onwards)

in the meantime, i guess the only thing i can do is to feed her during night (which usually we will do at 12am) &amp; to slot in one more additional feed at 4am (instead of our schedule of letting her sleep thru till 6am) .. if not , i really duno what else we can do .. just rang up my mum and she is refusing her bottle agn.. my mum hv to spoon-feed her &amp; she is only taking 60ml ...

so morning till now, 60ml milk .. 50ml cereal ..
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Hi motherbear,

What you describe about your feelings fits exactly that of an anxious first time mum- note that no two children are the same- and comparing will only make you more anxious and less sure of yourself. You mentioned weight 25% and length 80%- that is perfectly alright- some kids are born to be on the "thin and long" side- to be honest- food refusal and food fads will occur until the kid turns 3 years old or so- so be prepared for more unexpected behaviour.

Babies do not strave themselves on purpose- if they are teething i.e uncomfortable gums- their intake may drop and then increase again over time. Main thing is that you continue all the regular growth check-ups so your baby is monitored for her growth and development.

If you really feel you cannot cope (i.e. potential postnatal depression)- seek a Dr's advice- see your gynae for recommendations.

I am a mum of two (as well as a healthcare professional)- the first time- super anxious, then the second- much more relaxed...trust me- what you go through is very normal.
 
I know nothing much you can do at this stage. But have you tried changing milk powder, teat etc. You probably need to exhaust all possibilities.

From my experience, there will be a period of complete strike on milk. Gradually, they were become better appetite.
 
Hi Mummies,

I am a mum of 2 daughters (18 mths apart). But both gals gave me the same pblm when they were young - refused to drink milk. This started when they were about 4 mths old. I can take more than 1hr to feed 120ml of milk and they still cannot finish. I have also tried to change bottle/ teats/ milk powder/ force feed (they end up vomitting everything) or "dream feed" them. It worked for a while and start to reject again.

At my wits' end, I started them with cereal mixed with milk (paste-like cereal)- about 4 feeds a day (combined with 1 - 2 feeds of pureed fruits).

I was worried when I had my #1 refused to drink milk. But, PD assured me that so long as my child is still growing, its ok. Those min. milk intake are only guidelines and are not hard and fast rule to follow.

When they are 6 mths old, I started them with yogurt (you can get those bottled yogurt from Heinz which is suitable for babies from 6 mths) and also bottled baby food / oatmeal(add variety to their feeds) in addition to start feeding porridge.

Both my daughters were growing very well (now 1.5yo and 3 yo). They only started to drink more milk after they turned 1 yo. Ask for milk sponstaneously without me having to force them to drink.
 
fairyprincess/mango/snowball : thanks for all yr encouragement and assuring words .. i really appreciate that .. and they makes me feel better as i read yr experiences ..

i still cant help being worried that my gal who is already so long &amp; thin ,lagging way b/h as compared to other babies of her peers now with milk strike... bet she will lose more .. i know i cant compare cos she was born as a petite frame (2.86kg) .. but can u imagine how heart pain when u know other babies at 3mths weigh 6kg.. mine in another 2 wks will turn 6 mths weigh only that much?!

i will chk w PD whether or nt can she start on yogurt and how soon can she start on cheese. actually i wanted to brg her to PD ysterday but hb says we can be concern but cant be overly paranoid..cos baby is still v happy &amp; active..

i notice my gal has the white residue in her tongue.. heard that oral thrush could cause decrease in milk intake.. i will try to see if it can be cleaned off easily or takes much effort as the later would mean a possible sign of oral thrush..

the mistery part that i dun understn is how come milk strike can occur overnight jus like that.. and if she is hvin oral thrush, then how come she can take cereal well and not milk?

i will refrain frm changing milk powder again cos i changed frm similac no. 1 (the new improved forumla) which i dont know why she rejected as she has been drinking similac for awhile.. till enfalac which she then will at least drink.. gal have a sensitive stomach system i assume as she had a stomach virus last mth and hv to be on soy formula till she is ok ..
 
Hi Motherbear,

No pblm at all
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I've been thro' this not once but twice. So, in per se, handling my #2 was easier. I am not a milk person myself. Maybe I have passed on this "bad" habit to my kids :p

My 2 gals were also born small - 2.85kg for #1 and 2.87kg for #2. Now at 1.5yo and 3yo, they are 12.5kg and 15.5kg. Do monitor that your child is still happy and active. Still eating her meals and you should be ok.

For cleaning her tongue, you can try to use warm salt water to clean. It will help to clear those residue on her tongue.

Advise that you start cheese later as some kids will have reflux after eating. Try to start her with cheese only ard 9 mths old. Since your daughter likes cereal, be it. You can try adding HealthyTimes Baby Oatmeal into her cereal. This cereal is very fragrant and my kids love it. This gives her fibre and nutrition too.
 
dear motherbear

reading your post made me recollect on my first few mths after giving birth too. Not exactly on the milk part but on the anxiety over everything abt my baby tat wasn't going exactly according to my plan.

i haf some tips which you may find useful:-
- change milk bottle teats. My gal uses pigeon L size. For your 5.5mth old baby, you can try Y size which is leak-proof (slower flow) or M size. My 22 mth old gal uses L size.

- add 1 to 2 milk powder scoops of healthy times cereal into her milk. You may reduce the milk powder slightly since you're adding cereal if baby finds it too thick. Healthy Times cereal can be easily purchased at ntuc, giant etc. Its placed near the milk powder shelf. Costs $6.93 per box and lasts my gal 2 wks if i add 2 scps per milk feed.

Hope these will prove useful.
 
Hi motherbear
i perfectly understand how you feel. My baby was born only 2.2kg...much smaller than yours. Now coming to 7th mth, she weighs about 6.3 to 6.5kg. I weigh her using my own weighing scale, so this is only an estimate.

My baby is currently drinking 160ml of milk at each feed. She is still on 5 milk feeds per day, but the last feed is dropping to 100ml recently which I have no idea why also. She can take up to 1 hour to drink as well. Have tried changing teats but no use.

I tried to introudce her to cereal recently but she only takes a few mouthful and rejects the rest by clamming her mouth close. No matter how I tried to feed, she will not opeen her mouth. Thought that perhaps it is the cereal that do not appeal to her, I have also tried pumpkin and pear, but the same thing happens.

Now I am just hoping that she will slowly get used to the taste of solid and adapt to it soon.
 
Hi Hi ;p

notice my thread become active agn .. thanks for sharing with me your little experiences here .. really keeps me going strong
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well, i just went to kiddy palace and buy Pigeon Y size teats for her and L size (just to standby) .. only tried on 1 feed &amp; she seems a little better..though will get cranky towards the end of her feed..

i tried apple puree on her today but she didnt really take the taste well as she vomitted out one mouth of milk after eating 5 small spoon (pigeon weaning spoon) of apple puree but was enjoying the real apple juice (i actually steam the apples &amp; notice that there was juice..dun wan to waste it) hv u ladies try apple puree and how do we choose apples tat are generally sweet? i know its abit tough .. anyway i bgt pears as well...will let her try on tat tmrw..

I will go grab the healthy times cereal as i notice that its highly recommended by mummies
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btw, prata queen. .. can we add the cereal into her milk? i tried once.. frisocream into her milk but she end up sucking too hard &amp; the nuk teats got vacumn in.. will Pigeon teats hv this similar prblm as well?

Ashleigh - guess we r in the same boat .. our hope is just to wish that our daughters will be able to resume their drinking appetite &amp; be able to take solids well .. . i know its very heart breaking whenever our daughters reject feeding/solids from us .. but i tell myslf dun give up..i m sure one day our little wonder will want more than what was given.. hv faith &amp; i m sure we can do it
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Hi Motherbear,

My gals are also using Pigeon Peristatlic Teats (for wide neck bottles). My elder gal refused to use other teats after that. Piyo Piyo teats are also good. The L-sz teats (which is the cross-type) gives gd milk flow. My #2 is using them now.

Frisocream - I find that it is too sweet. Both my gals do not like that. For cereal, I go for those unsweetened ones....Try Healthy Times/ Heinz (but now, heinz rice cereal is stock out island-wide, do not know why).

U can add cereal into milk but, make sure that the cereal is well dissolved when mixed with milk so that it can flow like smoothie and not choke the teats.

When my kids were younger, I used to boil the fruits with a bit of water - apples, pear - green and korean pears, etc. and smash them.

Boil the fruits with the skin. Before smashing, remove the skin. It gives a nice and smooth puree for babies. Why I boil? I can keep the juice for my kids to drink and they also get to eat the pureed fruit. In addition, I can also keep for up to 3 days in fridge and do not have to prepare everyday (I am a FTWM, so a bit lazy lor). My kids love it. When they are older (like 8/ 9 mths old) with a few teeth grown, I will coarsely grate the fruit them to eat - let them practise some chewing. Also start to introduce more fruits to them - Strawberries, kiwi fruits, grapes, etc.

I do not recommend that you deliberately choose fruits that are sweet for your babies. Kids taste are basically very bland...I do not want my kids to develop sweet tooth. In fact, I choose apples and pears that are not too ripe for my kids to eat. These are not too sweet and a bit sourish. I do not want my kids to develop sweet tooth. In fact, now, when they eat something too sweet, they will reject.

Hang on mummies - Believe me, your babies will walk of this "window" as they grows and introduced to more variety of food.
 
i'm at the verge of breaking down. . .. it was a tiring and demanding wkend for us as gal was so grouchy last wkend.. not her usual self and we spend most of our time trying to coax her &amp; putting her to zz/feeding her.. (as usual, her feeding didnt improve at all) and i hv actually make pear &amp; sweet potato puree but she didnt get to try them as she was cranky half the time .. plus when i let her lick some potato puree on my finger.. on her 3rd lick, she actually vomitted all of her milk (which she drank 45 mins ago) that my hb feed her with so much effort.
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i find myslf beginning to lose my temper over her more &amp; more.. i know my gal felt it cos of my tone.. i tried to walk away &amp; let my hb manage her but everytime during a "fresh feed" .. when she stop sucking &amp; chewing on her teats.. despite how much i coax/talk to her.. i will start to lose my temper and talk to her harshly. i hate myslf for behaving that way but i dont know what i can do.

i feel like bringing her to PD but i know the standard reply he will give.. she is drinking but only lesser.. and is healthy &amp; alert.. so why u worry...
 
Hi Motherbear,

Don't despair, I've also been thro' this for both my kids. Believe me, your baby will walk out of this. In fact, I kept trying and trying giving them new food. But, later realised that my baby did not like sweet potato, pumpkins, etc.

I got so frustrated that I actually broke down and cry. My hb actually sent my gal to let my sister babysit for a while on a weekend and he brought me out to stay away from my gal the whole afternoon. It helps. To our surprise, my sister managed to feed her 2 meals (while we were away) without much pblms. Sometimes, our kids just wanna test our patience.

Hang on.....you will get over this situation.
 
Hi Hi ..

i bgt the healthy times brown rice cereal and let my gal try yesterday. My MIL feed her and commented that she dun really like that (though she has added FM inside le) .. but prefers frisocream .. she can fin frisocream (50ml x 2 meals)..

snowball.. tks for yr encouragement
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u mention to me let her try healthy times.. do u mean the brown rice one or the oatmeal one? not sure if i can start oatmeal on her leh..

i also bgt the yu ren shen brown rice with si shen fen.. she ate once (fin 50ML w milk).. but after tat, tried again on her.. she rejected that.. hmm.. seems like i hv a very fussy little one at home ..
 
Dear mummies

As i read thru the comments of all of you, I also start to think back of the early mths when my son was still little. He is now 19 mths. I recall that i was also extremely stressed over his feeding and sleeping problem when he was little. He started to struggle and get frustrated drinking milk after 4 mths. We are not sure why too. Tried all means - dream feed, toys distraction, change teats etc. All always work for a short period then he started to be smarter again and will struggle when drinking milk. At the end, somehow thru trial and error, we found that he doesn't like the cradle position of drinking milk. So we propped him on a pillow to feed, at the same time changed to another formula. It worked. I am inclined to beleive that it was the change of feeding position plus some toys for him to hold whne feeding that does the trick.
After 14mths (i think), he started to drink more milk and not fight anymore. Now when asked if he wants milk, he knows how to nod his head to indicate yes.

Therefore mummies, hang in there.. You have to ride it thru. I was also crying a lot during my maternity back then. I got better after i return to work. It helps that i have very patient parents who help me tide over this tough period.

Take heart, it will pass.
 
Hi Motherbear,

My gals are taking HT Oatmeal cereal mixed with FM and Heinz 1st Rice Cereal. You have to slowly introduce new food to your baby. They may reject initially but will ultimately take them. So long as your baby is already 6 mths old, you can let her take it.

If your gal like Frisocream, so be it, let her continue with that. Dun deliberately change.

Brown Rice - I bought Organic Hom Mali Brown rice mixed with white rice and cook porridge for my kids. They like it. It is easily cooked as the Brown Rice has been dehusked.

In fact, you can read from my earlier postings, my kids prefer solids over milk. Since your baby shd be 6 mths old by now, you can start her on other solids. So long as she is taking in the nutrients from other source of food, its ok that she drinks less milk.
 
Hi Motherbear,

I hope you are coping better with your gal. I just wanted to share that I have the same issue with my gal! She went on a bottle strike from 11 weeks to about 5 months old. Every time we bottle feed her she would wail and cry. Very heartpain to hear and see her this way. Thankfully I am a SAHM so I can bf her. But she is very distracted and take only 10 mins at the breast. She was very small and was 5kg at 12 weeks, and 6.8kg at 6 months. According to growth charts, she was at the 16th percentile!! This was freaky for me cos she was not a small baby when she was born! (3.18kg!)

In the end I decided to just relax and as long as she is eating some food, regardless of how little it is, I will let it be. Sometimes I might encourage her to eat more, but if she starts crying or I find myself being angry, I would stop and either try later, or she would just have to wait until the next meal. I use a weighing scale to gauge her growth and check whether she achieved her milestones. So far she's been achieving her milestones and is active, so even if she eats little, I have learnt to live with it.
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She has started to eat better in the last month or so(crossing my fingers!!) but is still a lightweight (7.8kg at 9.5 months). But she is so active and alert, that I assume it is ok.
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So you're not alone k? And don't stress!! Babies are very resilient, they will eat when they are hungry.
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Just keep feeding a variety of food!
 
Hi Padi

very heart warming to know that someone still reply to my thread
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and wrote such a long pc of advice for me .. really appreciate it
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well.. my princess has started her solid 3times a day since 2 months back.. she has just turned 8 months today .. she will have cereal with a fruit puree for bkfast.. porridge (Lean pork + fish + a veg ie. either potato , pumpkin, carrot) for lunch .. for dinner , either fresh porridge or brown rice cereal + a veg puree.. as for her milk intake .. her daily consumption is around 650ml ..sometimes can hit till 700++ml which i assume is average ..anyway, we last weighed her at her PD for her jab last fri .. that was 7.5mths .. only weigh 7.14 kg .. so she probably will join yr princess weighing feather light weight when she turns 9.5 mths (or probably lighter than her)

well.. my princess dont seem to be able to take porridge that well when my MIL or my hb &amp; i feed her during wkends.. but the strange thing is my mum can manage to feed her quite abit(together with soup , without adding the salt .. my princess loves her soup) during the days my mum take care.. my MIL (mon/tues) my mum (wed/thurs/fri) .. and know what, i will have a war time with my princess during her feeding time during wkends and its alwys my hb stepping in to calm me down and encourage me to leave things behind and try again later.. i must admit that he has much more patience than me and i do lose my cool with her for not receiving the porridge well or puree that was given to her .. my gf was telling me that babies r smart.. they r just testing our patience and "bully" us ..

i really envy those chubby babies who can eat alot and hv good appetite.. i have to accept that my princess belong to the petite group and she can never be a 12kg baby when she turns 1 yr old .. my PD always stress that so long she is active, alert and healthy. why u worry ..

anyway, i really hope she will settle down well in her solids as i badly want her to put on abit more weight .. i guess u are right.. have to keep a wide variety of food and i'm sure somehow one day she will ask for more!
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Hi all mummies,

My baby boy is born on Apr 2010..

I need advice..
Since day 1, I started total BF ( he also did not drink any water) until now. He does not even want bottle feed at all.

I tried to feed with EnfaLac or EBM him with bottle for the past 3 months but he does not even want to suck. Even water, he also dont want..

Causing me to keep taking leave as I should go back to work on 1 Aug..
Anyone face this and have solution for me??

Thanks in advance.
 
Hi happymother2008,

my son is 12months old now and has been in the infant care since he was 2.5 months old. I'm also breastfeeding him and he still wakes up nightly for night feeds by latching on.

Do not worry about the bottle feeding part as my son rejects bottles totally as well. Initially when he was in infant care, he rejects bottles or take very long to drink.

But now, he can differentiate being at home or at the infant care. In the infant care, he drinks from bottle but at home, he reject bottle and wants to be latch on.

What I would advice you is to harden your heart and let him be. By the 3rd or 4th day, he will be tired of being stubborn. Same case as my son.

Mind you, I am a very protective and paranoid mum too. But at times, I just have to be 'cold-hearted' to let him know that he cannot have all the things his ways.

At least, things are now better.

Jiayou!
 
Hi Jennifer, Thanks for ur advice, I am out of job now cos my coy cannot allow me to take anymore leave.. But i still need to find a job when things get better.

I only stop giving him to latch on for less than 24 hours, maybe i should harden that time to stretch to 2, 3 days but it is really heart-aching to see him keep crying for milk.
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Does ur boy lose weight while in the process cos for these 3 months plus I dont see him gaining much weight and the last check actually losing weight.. so sad...
 
Hi,

Your bb shld be ard 4 mths now.
In one mth or so, you shld be able to give him semi-solid food, then it shldn't be so bad 'cos once he can eat, he can be spoon-fed the EBM as well.
For now, have you tried to cup feed since he doesnt take bottles?
Do u have any help at home? U can get the other person to help u with the cup feeding (or even bottle feeding). U shld not be around to watch since your bb will reject the alternative way to milk if he senses u ard.
Start with one feed 1st, then if he takes it...then slowly extend to the rest of the feeds.
One strategy is to offer bottled EBM when the bb is sleepy.
My boy was on Total BFG since birth. He never took pacifier or bottles. When I had to be away from him, like bringing my older child to classes or going back to work, he was cup fed and subsequently spoon fed when he could take semi-solid foods.
Just perserve for a while more....things will be better when your bb can take semi-solid food. Maybe it is just me, but I will not subject my bb to 3-4 days without milk just 'cos he don't want milk in a bottle. For a small bb, milk is their only source of food lei
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.
If all fails, maybe u wan to give a call to the LCs in the hospital you birthed and ask them for advice. Maybe they can help you train your boy to go on bottle....I know long ago, the LCs at TMC provide these kind of service, but I'm not sure now.

All the best
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Hi happymother2008,

I don't remember my boy losing weight during that transistion.

Please don't stop breastfeeding him. But make it a habit of latching on before going to work and after work. Other than that, try bottle feeding or spoon-feeding.

This way, you are assuring him that you're not breaking the bond with him. Just that you can only latch on once in the day and once at night.

I hope things works well for you soon.
 
hi mummies,

Since i am out of job now, i will continue bf but will also keep trying bottle feeding or spoon-feeding till i find a job..
Thanks
 
Hi,
For mothers who worried abt baby total milk intake as recommended, dont fret over it. I never count my baby daily intake, I just feed as he wants it. It never bothers me as long as PD never said he under nourish.
 
Haha. Until now, my girl is 16 mths, I still will record her milk intake and do a log on her daily feeds, including solids. I guess it has already become part of me already. So that I will know and be sure that her meals intake stay rather consistent
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The Mental Wellness Service at KK Hospital is proud to present to you a public awareness play on maternal depression: "When the Bough Breaks". It is produced by The Necessary Stage, featuring Karen Tan. It tells the story of a new mother, Susan, who struggles with Postpartum Depression, and her recovery journey.

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