Lost about having a baby

Xoxo1234

New Member
Hi all,

How does you all know when is a good time to try for baby? I'm in my early 30s, just married though together with hubby for 7-8 years. My hubby would like to have a kid but i don't really have the feel for having a child yet (dont feel the energy to take care of a baby for now). As well as financially, how do you all overcome? We are average salaried workers and i can't imagine a child expenses coming up. Also, work stress will come as well during pregnancy? Together with the pain during child birth. All these are giving me a negative vibe to having a kid.. At the same time I feel time is running out as we are not considered v young. Should I just go ahead and try? Not sure if it's important to be emotionally and mentally ready when trying to conceive..
 


Well, it seems like your long term plan is to have a child... so the question is when? Early 30s is not considered young anymore, and it can take up to several years to successfully conceive should there be any underlying issues. It is possible to work things out financially... e.g. look for 2nd hand things for babies from carousell... use the government grant etc. I was full of uncertainty before I have children too... but the stress from waiting to successfully conceive is worst (e.g. possibility of not having any)... Now that I'm a mother of 2, there are stressful and busy times... but the joy from having children and being a mother to them is making my life fulfilling.
 
Please just go ahead to try. What Sunnydays said is true. I started trying when I was 27 and only found out then that I got low AMH levels so I can't conceive naturally. It has been 4 years and I'm still childless cause 2 of my IVF cycles failed. With all the GM food and the lack of maintenance of our bodies, conceiving might not be as easy as you think. Or maybe luckily for you it would be. Money would work itself out. There's a lot of grants given to parents with children and even tax rebate isn't it.
 
Totally agree with sunnydays and tryingtostayafloat. Fertility rate reduces as we age and the risks of pregnancy complications are higher as we get older. If you are still having mixed feelings of having a baby, don’t stress too much but let nature takes its course. A large number of parents feel a little more emotionally and mentally ready once they see a tiny speck on the ultrasound and then slowly work their way towards the readiness by the end of the pregnancy. Financials can be worked out. Don’t worry too much about pain during childbirth labor, it’s all part of the process. If you embrace it, it will not be as bad as you think it is. There are many pain medications to choose from and even hypnobirthing classes you can try. So breathe and wishing you all the best!
 
I agreed with the rest.
It's better to go for it now, then to regret later, as fertility rate reduces as we grew older
Unless you both plan not to have a baby at all

Maybe can try have a talk with your hubby, about your concern. Like financial or anything else. See what he have to say or advice
 
thank you all for your advice... :) appreciate it as after reading all the replies, it really helps and changed my mindset for trying for a baby.

and indeed after listening to you all, we went ahead and try, letting nature take it course.. until i realized i'm pregnant now. :oops:

while its a good news to celebrate and i know i should be feeling lucky, the stressed at work overtakes the joy of knowing that im pregnant. work is not easy especially when my direct reporting officer does not guide me on things and its hard to ask others cause its related to our cases only. am especially worried about my job performance during pregnancy.. thinking to apply for other firm but it's hard now when i'm pregnant.. i cant seem to shift my mindset away that its just a job :( as that's what is feeding us. just hope i can survive these 9 months at well at work and enjoy the pregnancy journey.

how does the mummies here did it with work stress while pregnant?? i think you all are amazing. o_O
 
C
thank you all for your advice... :) appreciate it as after reading all the replies, it really helps and changed my mindset for trying for a baby.

and indeed after listening to you all, we went ahead and try, letting nature take it course.. until i realized i'm pregnant now. :oops:

while its a good news to celebrate and i know i should be feeling lucky, the stressed at work overtakes the joy of knowing that im pregnant. work is not easy especially when my direct reporting officer does not guide me on things and its hard to ask others cause its related to our cases only. am especially worried about my job performance during pregnancy.. thinking to apply for other firm but it's hard now when i'm pregnant.. i cant seem to shift my mindset away that its just a job :( as that's what is feeding us. just hope i can survive these 9 months at well at work and enjoy the pregnancy journey.

how does the mummies here did it with work stress while pregnant?? i think you all are amazing. o_O
Congrats!!!
 
Dont worry too much about baby and coping. Just ask ard to make the usual arrangements and things will work out. I think nobody is ever ready as a first time parent if you know what I mean.

Congrats!!
 
Life is really a joke sometimes. I was contemplating to having kid at my current life stage now in my first post, but when ahead anyway after seeking advice from family and support peers here. Smoothly, I got pregnant soon after. But who knows, I just had a miscarriage two weeks ago, it was a missed miscarriage even though I was so cautious to do only the right thing and to stay home & be safe for baby.

When I'm not sure if I want it, it comes. When i really want it, it went away.

What a twist of fate in life. Feels like god is playing with me. Feeling so hard to move on in life. Even having a second bb will not replace the first that we had...
 
Life is really a joke sometimes. I was contemplating to having kid at my current life stage now in my first post, but when ahead anyway after seeking advice from family and support peers here. Smoothly, I got pregnant soon after. But who knows, I just had a miscarriage two weeks ago, it was a missed miscarriage even though I was so cautious to do only the right thing and to stay home & be safe for baby.

When I'm not sure if I want it, it comes. When i really want it, it went away.

What a twist of fate in life. Feels like god is playing with me. Feeling so hard to move on in life. Even having a second bb will not replace the first that we had...

Sorry to hear about this. I’ve a missed miscarriage recently too and it’s very tough.
It really helps by keeping myself busy and distracted. and having support from close ones, confiding to them or just ranting out.
take care and hugs.
 
Sorry to hear abt it. Maybe it’s in our society we think too much. Enough money or not, boss ok or not and etc. It’s a good thing you can conceive and that’s a blessing because it will be much more expensive if you want and can’t. How did average people go through one cycle after another of ivf? I am one of them. I had a miscarriage too abt 2yrs back, it took me quite awhile to reconcile but it makes me realise there is no point to hold on too.

Don’t worry abt job. There is always another one. Take a day at a time. Don’t think too much ahead if in doing so, add stress and stop you from moving anyway. There isn’t going to be a right and wrong answer .. come what may.. deal with it as you face it and whatever solution, it’s best at that point of time. Count your blessings and stay strong and positive
 

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