Unhappy SAHM

Ulessmama

New Member
Hi all,

I am under some stress being a SAHM. I quitted my job early this year to look after 2 children. Initially, I tot that by looking after them on my own will create a better bonding btw us. But I think I'm wrong. My children begin to dislike me and said alot of hurtful words to me. One of them has begin to look down on me. I'm feeling very unhappy. That's not all. Ever since I do not have earning power, my hub began to look down on me too. He will said things like" you have no say as u do not contribute to the house", "y do u keep asking me for money" etc. It really makes me feel that I am useless. Hai!
 


Seriously, to decide on becoming a SAHM should b a joint agreement w in-depth understanding from esp financial POV.

Since u have come to this stage, it would be advisable u go back to the work force.

Basically, children will prefer a parent to b around for them. Since there's resentment from your children, you should find out why this happen.

Is there external negative comment on you? Or try to reflect how u hv been handling your children (nags, helicopter over them, restrict their freedom, compromise their privacy...)?

Go back to work. With this situation, you will b worst off as u get older.
 
Hi all,

I am under some stress being a SAHM. I quitted my job early this year to look after 2 children. Initially, I tot that by looking after them on my own will create a better bonding btw us. But I think I'm wrong. My children begin to dislike me and said alot of hurtful words to me. One of them has begin to look down on me. I'm feeling very unhappy. That's not all. Ever since I do not have earning power, my hub began to look down on me too. He will said things like" you have no say as u do not contribute to the house", "y do u keep asking me for money" etc. It really makes me feel that I am useless. Hai!

how old are your children? usually children should enjoy with mummies at home. if they are schooling, could it be because they feel they have less 'freedom' now? if so, hang on. it takes sometime for kids to get used to new routine, especially if there is a change to their 'freedom'.

self-esteem usually will take a hit when woman become sahm. seems ur husband is feeling the pressure of being the only one bringing money in.
 
I feel you.. for your kids, i feel that spending time with them is important. Whatever they say about you, you should correct. They definitely are not looking down on you but probably not used to you being at home all the time. Probably use the next few months to correct this relationship then see how?

As for your husband, he is very bad to say all these to you. You should tell him., even if you are currently working, be it full-time or part-time, it is still ok for you to take money from husband. If not what is the role of the husband/daddy if he doesnt provide financial support.
 
Hi Ulessmama,
Do not feel that you are useless. It takes great courage to make this decision. But this definitely must be an agreement btw u & hus. In the first plc, if he agreed to u quitting, he should not be saying all these harsh words to u. I left my job since 2017 for my 2 children & have difficulty in returning to workforce now because of the career gap. During my 2yrs, life wasnt good for me too. No spouse support and also alot of unfair statement said to me. Although my kids received good results, but in exchange what i have to face now difficulty in returning to workforce because of age & career gap.
My advice to you is, if your kids can be taken care by care centre, and your hus is still not giving you the support, then I rather you return to workforce.
 
Hi all,

I am under some stress being a SAHM. I quitted my job early this year to look after 2 children. Initially, I tot that by looking after them on my own will create a better bonding btw us. But I think I'm wrong. My children begin to dislike me and said alot of hurtful words to me. One of them has begin to look down on me. I'm feeling very unhappy. That's not all. Ever since I do not have earning power, my hub began to look down on me too. He will said things like" you have no say as u do not contribute to the house", "y do u keep asking me for money" etc. It really makes me feel that I am useless. Hai!


Children talk without think, don’t be too serious with what they said.
If you feel what they said have hurt you , you have to be firm and told them off.
They should show respect to you no matter what.
Some children follow dad bully mum.

How come you husband said you have no contribution? What did you do at home?

If you did do your duties as wife and mum yet he said you have no contribution then he was too much.
Even maid has salary and off day.


Since he doesn’t appreciate and feel he was so capable.
Then ask him hire a full time /part time maid do housework.
Pay all bills and your children after student care fee and tuition fees.


You work part time , support yourself only and has your own free time.
40 not old, many part time job you still can work. Start from part time job to gain experience
 
I am upset to read that you do not have support from your husband and being treated this way by your kids . It is not easy to be a SAHM . I suggest you have a good talk to your hubby . And by the kind of remarks from kids , I believe they are either upper pri or teenagers ? My kids love me being around and they get use to me taking care of them . I am strict too when come to discipline and homework but they still prefer me than the father .
this SAHM job is the highest salary job in the whole world I tell you .
 

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