Should I quit my job?

[Vangoh95]

Been ttc for 2 years, and was at the verge of giving up until I did a test (out of fun and curiosity) and gotten my BFP on 31st May.
Like I said, I've already mentally "pyscho-ed" myself that having a child is more than just life-time liability (just to make myself feel better for the past 2 years), and totally unprepared for the news.

I was upset most of the time. Emotionally unstable. And as my work place may require me to carry heavy loads (lack of manpower, i'm supposed to be on my desk and comp), I informed my lady boss about my pregnancy.

But i realized after informing her, she began to pin-point me at the smallest stuff. And continue to require me to serve and pack orders (require to carry 15kg load at times etc).

After a couple of weeks, I told my lady boss that she can forfeit my maternity leave etc and see how she reacts to thing

Apparently she's treating me better (by not pin-pointing at small tiny stuffs), and making me to do what I initially signed up for for my jobscope (so it's the maternity leave she's concerned with lol)

The salary is relatively good. Comfortable and allowing me to have sufficient savings monthly.
But working environment is not just toxic but sad. 7 people had left in just 1 year time (small company)

My husband of course wish that I can continue with my job as our expenses for our house, car etc is high
But I'm really exhausted, especially with this first trimester of constantly queasiness, puking and backache
And been overthinking lately. As some mom-to-be "feel" for their pregnancy, but I'm not feeling anything about it nor the connection except for the puking, backache etc. It makes me feel bad about it at times too.
In the beginning I thought, perhaps after hearing the heartbeat I'll be more convinced and start to "feel" connected to it. But after hearing the heartbeat, I don't feel excited at all. Is this normal? I'm turning 9 weeks tomorrow. Is it too early to feel the connection with the fetus?


And worst thing worst, my colleague had a miscarriage a month before I conceived
I had to let my office people know my pregnancy so I don't have to carry any heavy loads.
Super awkward

Very lost

 

[lab60]

Hi -

Congrats to you! 1st trimester is tough. To go through pregnancy, its important for the mother to feel safe and happy as the baby can relate to the mother strongly.

Discuss with your hubby. Get your family support. If family all agrees you quit... you should quit happily .

Regards

 

[Vangoh95]

Hi -

Congrats to you! 1st trimester is tough. To go through pregnancy, its important for the mother to feel safe and happy as the baby can relate to the mother strongly.

Discuss with your hubby. Get your family support. If family all agrees you quit... you should quit happily .

Regards

Thank you, will try my best to be positive this meantime!
Perhaps I should find a day, sit down and have a heart to heart talk with my hubby.
Previously mentioned briefly about it to him, but it seems that he hope I can continue to work this job as the salary is quite ideal.
That's why I'm so confused

 

[Mongkok]

actually, you know yourself best.

your husband, instead of exploring to earn more, risk his unborn child, for material things (eg. cars, etc).

as for your willingness to forfeit your maternity leave (ML), I hope you will be paid double when you work during the ML. coz, the Company will be reimbursed for this ML.

what about your childcare leave (after the child is born)? not taking them too?

for enlightenment, no amount of money can bring the same joy a child can. hence please think rationally.

you can maintain your job. but talk terms w your boss (double pay if no maternity leave taken). anyway, the Company can't fry you especially after you announced your pregnancy. after birth, look for another job.

 

[Vangoh95]

actually, you know yourself best.

your husband, instead of exploring to earn more, risk his unborn child, for material things (eg. cars, etc).

as for your willingness to forfeit your maternity leave (ML), I hope you will be paid double when you work during the ML. coz, the Company will be reimbursed for this ML.

what about your childcare leave (after the child is born)? not taking them too?

for enlightenment, no amount of money can bring the same joy a child can. hence please think rationally.

you can maintain your job. but talk terms w your boss (double pay if no maternity leave taken). anyway, the Company can't fry you especially after you announced your pregnancy. after birth, look for another job.

What concerned me was, part of the reason my colleague had a miscarriage was due to my boss requesting her to work extra harder (after notifying her pregnancy to my boss), throwing her lots of job that require to carry heavy loads and constantly standing and walking (my boss even told us not to help her as she couldn't help us on our jobscope so why are we helping her? Which i find it quite ridiculous)

As she had a miscarriage before plus she's in her early 30s, we suspected part of it is due to overworking as well.

Initially my colleague wanted to quit after her miscarriage incident, but my boss gave her a salary increment immediately once she's back from her 3 days leave (from resting after miscarriage). That's why she stayed.

She can't fry me, but i'm afraid she will make me leave myself.
Yes you're right, no amount of money can bring the same joy a child can...

But I'm quite sure there's no way my boss will allow double pay.

 

[Mongkok]

What concerned me was, part of the reason my colleague had a miscarriage was due to my boss requesting her to work extra harder (after notifying her pregnancy to my boss), throwing her lots of job that require to carry heavy loads and constantly standing and walking (my boss even told us not to help her as she couldn't help us on our jobscope so why are we helping her? Which i find it quite ridiculous)

As she had a miscarriage before plus she's in her early 30s, we suspected part of it is due to overworking as well.

Initially my colleague wanted to quit after her miscarriage incident, but my boss gave her a salary increment immediately once she's back from her 3 days leave (from resting after miscarriage). That's why she stayed.

She can't fry me, but i'm afraid she will make me leave myself.
Yes you're right, no amount of money can bring the same joy a child can...

But I'm quite sure there's no way my boss will allow double pay.

I think you have misunderstood on the double pay. Let me elaborate.

When you work, you get salary from your boss (from company's account).

If you go on ML, your boss will be reimbursed (by MOM) when they produce your child's birth cert to MOM. Say, ML is 4mth. That means MOM will pay 4 mths' worth of salary to your company. Thay get to keep this money if u go on ML. You called that paid maternity leave.

Now, if you worked during ML, under normal working circumstances, they got to pay you salary (from company's account).

In addition, if you submit your child's birth cert to them and they get reimbursed by MOM, they should pass this amount (equates to your salary amount) to you. Hence, that's how you get 'double' salary when you worked during ML.
* do check w MOM whether you will flout any regulation.. do observe all govt regulation strictly. Work within the allowable limit.

If not, they should pass back as paid leave to you. Paid leave means you can take leave without having salary deducted. Say shld you quit, after u serve your 1 mth notice, the company will hv to pay u bk the unused leave.

 

[Mongkok]

Let me further explain why annual leave is a paid leave.

Coz under MOM regulation, all workers are entitled to paid leave. That means all company have to cost for it for every hire.

Say if your annual salary is $52000 for 260 working days ($200/day).
Then your 14days annual leave will 'cost' the company $2800 ($200×14).
Cpf 17% employer contribution is $8840 ($52000×17%)

That means your hiring cost to the company is $63640 ($52000+$2800+$8840).

Hence in company accounting under employment expenses, cost to maintain your services in the company is $63640. Not the $52000.

Same explanation approach for ML. Except that ML is being reimbursed by govt. That money belongs to you should u work during ML, in addition to getting the normal salary from company's pocket.

 

[Drain]

Vangoh85,
You are a honest worker... And I respect you!
To be honest, usually most woman will not inform their immediate boss about their pregnancy after at least 12 weeks. Correct me if I'm wrong. Reason being for some 'pantang' people, they will think not to inform any other about their pregnancy before that, as it's in an 'unstable' stage stage. This stage is very critical, and you MUST take care of yourself well.
As for your colleagues case, sorry to hear about it. But well, such may not fall on you. Don't think too much. If your boss ask you to carry heavy loads or what, if you can carry, why not? But don't exert yourself of course. If cannot, just tell her you can't. Or even asked other colleagues to help.