Baby looking after by mil

Dyt

New Member
Hi, anyone who is staying with mil, and baby is taken care by her? So much so that baby is sleeping with her. My mil is good with kids. I know she is being very helpful. But it makes me feel very lousy as a ftm. Alot of things I don know, and still learning along the way.

Please share with me your experiences...
 


Hi, anyone who is staying with mil, and baby is taken care by her? So much so that baby is sleeping with her. My mil is good with kids. I know she is being very helpful. But it makes me feel very lousy as a ftm. Alot of things I don know, and still learning along the way.

Please share with me your experiences...
Hi Dyt, u must really count ur blessing to have such a wonderful MIL who takes care of ur baby even during the nite. Dun be hard on urself no body is burned with experienced being a first time parent. Why dun u take this Oppty to learn fm ur MIL instead of blaming urself?
 
Hi, anyone who is staying with mil, and baby is taken care by her? So much so that baby is sleeping with her. My mil is good with kids. I know she is being very helpful. But it makes me feel very lousy as a ftm. Alot of things I don know, and still learning along the way.

Please share with me your experiences...

Hi or is it that you feel that your baby is robbed by your mil that you feel no chance to even bond and hands on?
 
Hi or is it that you feel that your baby is robbed by your mil that you feel no chance to even bond and hands on?

Yes, I feel like my lo will be closer to her grandma. And I've so little time to bond with her. That's why weekend I always try to bring my lo out.

Just an example, I'm trying to make my lo sleep, but she cry murder. Then my mil will come over n take over. To me, she is being nice n can't bare to see her cry so bad. On the other hand, I'm thinking if u always take over, then how can I ever learn to comfort her...
 
Yes, I feel like my lo will be closer to her grandma. And I've so little time to bond with her. That's why weekend I always try to bring my lo out.

Just an example, I'm trying to make my lo sleep, but she cry murder. Then my mil will come over n take over. To me, she is being nice n can't bare to see her cry so bad. On the other hand, I'm thinking if u always take over, then how can I ever learn to comfort her...

I can totally understand how you feel, driving new mother nuts! (*Even though i dun stay with mil)this is a very common issue about mil mothering our own baby etc but first of all it's very important that you get your husband full support and let him pass the message nicely to your mil about not to interfere at times etc and asap before things get tense. Baby needs mummy and mil need to give space & respect to you as being the parent . One day will be more hurt to think that will your baby know if you are the mother or not..

Hope your mil is someone reasonable and understanding person..
 
Hi, anyone who is staying with mil, and baby is taken care by her? So much so that baby is sleeping with her. My mil is good with kids. I know she is being very helpful. But it makes me feel very lousy as a ftm. Alot of things I don know, and still learning along the way.

Please share with me your experiences...

Hello how come your MIL is also sleeping with baby? It was difficult for me after I went back to work so I was determined to take care of baby at night so we shifted MIL’s bed to the study room so baby has his own room. It was very tough and I shuttle between my room and baby room. Then when he was 1+, I moved him to my bedroom and he sleeps besides me. Not to scare you but baby will really become very close to the main caregiver, especially after 9 months old. So I made the effort to take over everything once I’m home and bathed. I also insist on picking him up from school even though I’m heavily pregnant now. All these daily needs, when taken care by mummy, the baby will feel it and be the closest. It’s tiring but it’s worth it
 
it takes a village to raise a child.

you are really blessed w such a great helping and willing hands.

children strive through interaction. yes, your mil is limiting your time w the child. however, handling a tantrum child can be quite stressful. she may have crossed the 'line' as she can't bear to see the child stay uncomfortable for too long.

you may want to 'negotiate' w her the nex round to let you have a few minutes/hours handling the (crying) child before u 'pass it bk to her'. explain to her nicely that you would like to share this responsibility. she should b ok w and respect this. by the time you truly have that few mins/hours, u will appreciate her (mil) presence.

as for the child, they are definitely close to main caregiver unless the latter abuse him/her. but they 'know' who's their parents hence, she (mil) will/can nvr replace u.

btw, don't expect a grand-parent to discipline their grandchild. coz at their age they dont wish to raise a hater.

hence this task will com bk to u. eventually, it would b like 'i don't like mummy becoz she always shouts at me' and 'i like grandma more coz she buys me anything i want' thingy. expect and manage, that's all i can say.

child strives on discipline and love. as long as u maintain that, your child will appreciate, respect and reciprocate accordingly.

lastly, you wil stay on earth longer (than your mil). hence, jus let her spend time w the kiddo. it could hv bn she trying to 'catch bk' the missing time betw her and your hub when he was a kid.
 

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