Sexless Marriage

Maybe someone can form a support group to get daily dose of strength, for people who feel victimized in sexless marriage, or tempted to stray due to neglect, but sensible enough to protect the family from breaking up. Love and sex may change at different stages of marriage, some odd people may have hidden LGBT inclination. Trust may have been betrayed or become suspicious. Challenges we need to face and hold the family together.
 


My husband says he's too tired/stress from work. Sex for us has been going downhill since we decided to go for ivf treatment about 3 years back. It did result in a baby boy for us, but ever since then, 0 sex. I just went for my 2nd ivf since I still have some frozen embryos left and didn't want to waste them. However, I can't help feeling that this whole process seems like shopping for a baby as we didn't even actively try for one. I can't help feeling sad and frustrated as it seems that my husband is no longer interested in me except for the occasional touch and hug.

hi! How r u now? Hope ur issues improvised already. Dun mind able to pm thank
 
It's not healthy to be in a sexless marriage.
It tends to make one tempted to stray due to neglect..
I will be keen if there's such support group as well...
 
My husband says he's too tired/stress from work. Sex for us has been going downhill since we decided to go for ivf treatment about 3 years back. It did result in a baby boy for us, but ever since then, 0 sex. I just went for my 2nd ivf since I still have some frozen embryos left and didn't want to waste them. However, I can't help feeling that this whole process seems like shopping for a baby as we didn't even actively try for one. I can't help feeling sad and frustrated as it seems that my husband is no longer interested in me except for the occasional touch and hug.
My husband says he's too tired/stress from work. Sex for us has been going downhill since we decided to go for ivf treatment about 3 years back. It did result in a baby boy for us, but ever since then, 0 sex. I just went for my 2nd ivf since I still have some frozen embryos left and didn't want to waste them. However, I can't help feeling that this whole process seems like shopping for a baby as we didn't even actively try for one. I can't help feeling sad and frustrated as it seems that my husband is no longer interested in me except for the occasional touch and hug.
hi! How r u now? Hope ur issues improvised already. Dun mind able to pm thank
It's mostly caused by unreasonable bosses who give unreasonable deadlines, and my husband is a perfectionist, who also has too much pride. He's thinking of leaving but have to wait since he's still bonded.
Sometimes, I try to console him but end up getting rebuked. As I'm a sahm, I can't help feeling it is because my words don't carry much weight. Would it be different if I'm also working?
I think we have only gone out by ourselves without the kid less than 5 times since 2.5 years ago. I know it's unhealthy but it's really hard to do so. Even at night after the kid has gone to bed, he would rather play his game past 12 am until he's very tired, rather than spend some time with me. I told him it seems as if I'm begging him for attention, but he has already made his stand on who is more important as he keep telling me to wait. I told him he will probably be happier if he's not married, then he can do whatever he wants.
sis , how r u now ? Hope things get bette
It's not healthy to be in a sexless marriage.
It tends to make one tempted to stray due to neglect..
I will be keen if there's such support group as well...
Yes no choice when u encounter it n with age at 40 . N I love to hav baby
 
I guess it all depends on the man age & or medical problem?
Tat part of it. Boiled him herbs n send him seeing Tcm man hormones improved even with Viagra also cannot happen then he said mental block . Dated 7 years 1-2 years it ok actives then he had ladies outside n we dun hav sex for 5 years during dating then after he said he’ll change n try to improve on sex then we got married. After marriage, almost 7 years no sex by the time I’m age 41 already
 
Tat part of it. Boiled him herbs n send him seeing Tcm man hormones improved even with Viagra also cannot happen then he said mental block . Dated 7 years 1-2 years it ok actives then he had ladies outside n we dun hav sex for 5 years during dating then after he said he’ll change n try to improve on sex then we got married. After marriage, almost 7 years no sex by the time I’m age 41 already

During dating when no sex, you should have left him when he said improve and you still dont have it. You should not even agree to marry with him.
 
Tat part of it. Boiled him herbs n send him seeing Tcm man hormones improved even with Viagra also cannot happen then he said mental block . Dated 7 years 1-2 years it ok actives then he had ladies outside n we dun hav sex for 5 years during dating then after he said he’ll change n try to improve on sex then we got married. After marriage, almost 7 years no sex by the time I’m age 41 already
He had affair then and how did u manage to accept & married him still??!!
 
Counting down to the day when I will be liberated from this sexless and loveless marriage. Hope everyone found their solutions and achieve peace.
 
13 years and counting...sometimes wonder if I am the only one experiencing such things, not sure what’s the point of getting married. Maybe just for companionship but he is not my soulmate and we have no children. Don’t believe in love anyway so don’t even know why I should stay or leave the marriage. I’m already past my prime and can’t compete with sweet young girls for anything so can only try to live for myself and accept my fate.
Well, if you have no kids, why not give up on this marriage and move on? Especially when you said he's not even your soulmate.
Probably in your situation, is the "used to it" kind of feel. But if am in your situation, i would have leave the marriage and proceed on with my life. The past years have already wasted. I don't want to waste my other half anymore...
 
Well, if you have no kids, why not give up on this marriage and move on? Especially when you said he's not even your soulmate.
Probably in your situation, is the "used to it" kind of feel. But if am in your situation, i would have leave the marriage and proceed on with my life. The past years have already wasted. I don't want to waste my other half anymore...

Aside from that problem, he is actually not a bad person, so far he didn’t cheat on me (or I haven’t caught him cheating), and he failed in his business few years ago, and he couldn’t do it because of his slipped disc problem and didn’t go and seek medical help.

guess I couldn’t bring myself to be so heartless as to leave him when he has to handle so many problems in his life.
 
Aside from that problem, he is actually not a bad person, so far he didn’t cheat on me (or I haven’t caught him cheating), and he failed in his business few years ago, and he couldn’t do it because of his slipped disc problem and didn’t go and seek medical help.

guess I couldn’t bring myself to be so heartless as to leave him when he has to handle so many problems in his life.
Well. For your case, even after div, u can still be friend with him. And can still help him in his problem.as a friend.
 
He is an extremely egoistic man and until now I think he still don't acknowledge that this problem exist in our marriage, I think he will hate me for giving up and that makes me the "bad" person.

But well, how long you want to continue this kind of marriage?
It's better to leave and let go to find your own happiness, rather than to cling on
 
Maybe someone can form a support group to get daily dose of strength, for people who feel victimized in sexless marriage, or tempted to stray due to neglect, but sensible enough to protect the family from breaking up. Love and sex may change at different stages of marriage, some odd people may have hidden LGBT inclination. Trust may have been betrayed or become suspicious. Challenges we need to face and hold the family together.
Yes, good idea. Wish to join too.
 
13 years and counting...sometimes wonder if I am the only one experiencing such things, not sure what’s the point of getting married. Maybe just for companionship but he is not my soulmate and we have no children. Don’t believe in love anyway so don’t even know why I should stay or leave the marriage. I’m already past my prime and can’t compete with sweet young girls for anything so can only try to live for myself and accept my fate.
Since u hv no kids..u shld leave him and find a new soulmate who loves u more than u love him.just companion but not into marriage.marriage give many problems. Dealing in kids and in laws..wth...!
 
Generally if the marriage is sexless, the person hating the sex, regardless of gender, should at least allow the other party to find professional services outside of marriage. If a guy hates the sex and his wife wants sex, he should at least allow her to seek sex from other guys if he love her. Similarly, if a lady hates sex and her husband wants sex, she should at least allow him to seek sex elsewhere. The golden rule is to use protection and do regular health checkups to ensure the spouse don't get any STDs.

Love does not equate sex and if you truly love a person, you will be generous enough to let the person fulfill their NATURAL desire for sex.
 
Generally if the marriage is sexless, the person hating the sex, regardless of gender, should at least allow the other party to find professional services outside of marriage. If a guy hates the sex and his wife wants sex, he should at least allow her to seek sex from other guys if he love her. Similarly, if a lady hates sex and her husband wants sex, she should at least allow him to seek sex elsewhere. The golden rule is to use protection and do regular health checkups to ensure the spouse don't get any STDs.

Love does not equate sex and if you truly love a person, you will be generous enough to let the person fulfill their NATURAL desire for sex.
I think this is not quite possible as the jealousy mindset will kick in.... maybe it works in western country but I doubt it will works locally....
 
I think this is not quite possible as the jealousy mindset will kick in.... maybe it works in western country but I doubt it will works locally....
yup. most of the time, asian spouses, which are generally conservative, will not allow such acts, they will expect you to pretend nothing is wrong and continue with the marriage as husband and wife. Any signs of you seeing opposite sex will equate to cheating.

but maybe for some men, even if they are in a normal marriage, they will still go and have sex outside the marriage and come home without feeling guilty, probably because men can have sex without love involved.

but for some women, the line is always blurred, it is not purely physically needs but rather emotional needs.

Man gives love for sex
Woman gives sex for love
 
Generally if the marriage is sexless, the person hating the sex, regardless of gender, should at least allow the other party to find professional services outside of marriage. If a guy hates the sex and his wife wants sex, he should at least allow her to seek sex from other guys if he love her. Similarly, if a lady hates sex and her husband wants sex, she should at least allow him to seek sex elsewhere. The golden rule is to use protection and do regular health checkups to ensure the spouse don't get any STDs.

Love does not equate sex and if you truly love a person, you will be generous enough to let the person fulfill their NATURAL desire for sex.

I especially like what you say here.
When I married my ex, I did not like having any forms of intimacy with him but he refused to allow me to have any sexual relations with other men. I want to look for the man I love so I can move on with my life. But he kept begging me to stay saying he is willing to forgive my unfaithfulness. hey hello? I always use a condom! Where am I unfaithful? He has to respect my right to choose again! Then now, after we divorce, he married a vietnamese woman and now they have a bastard child. what happened to the faithfulness? These local men talk one kind but do another kind.
 
Pls don’t insult your own race. Really disgusting bitch!!!

when did i insult my own race? i am formerly a singaporean woman but now I have elevated to having a white man as bf and soon we will marry when i find him. I also have a mixed race baby. you jealous is it?
 
when did i insult my own race? i am formerly a singaporean woman but now I have elevated to having a white man as bf and soon we will marry when i find him. I also have a mixed race baby. you jealous is it?
formerly? so u upgraded just because u have sex with a white man?still living in old age? white man greater?
u have being ditched, wake up your stuipd head.
anyway good for us Singapore women here that u go to your white man.
anyway there is nothing to show off just u have a mixed race baby that doesn't even know belong to who. still living in your dream that your white bf will come back, hahahaha
 
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Don’t boast with your mixed race baby cos the white just making use of u la. He have sex with you and ran away and u still dreaming and not shame to show off.
 
I especially like what you say here.
When I married my ex, I did not like having any forms of intimacy with him but he refused to allow me to have any sexual relations with other men. I want to look for the man I love so I can move on with my life. But he kept begging me to stay saying he is willing to forgive my unfaithfulness. hey hello? I always use a condom! Where am I unfaithful? He has to respect my right to choose again! Then now, after we divorce, he married a vietnamese woman and now they have a bastard child. what happened to the faithfulness? These local men talk one kind but do another kind.
when did i insult my own race? i am formerly a singaporean woman but now I have elevated to having a white man as bf and soon we will marry when i find him. I also have a mixed race baby. you jealous is it?
only loser local men will not respect their wife rights to choose again
Just bcos of your failure; you are labeling every local men as loser. So in other words, you are calling your dad as loser too? haha
 
Don’t boast with your mixed race baby cos the white just making use of u la. He have sex with you and ran away and u still dreaming and not shame to show off.

Last time I also think like you. I blasted the women who married white men like you do now. But deep in my heart I know there's a difference. Now I tried out the difference and know it is worth it. Local men really cmi. Next time when you find one, you will also know the difference.
 
formerly? so u upgraded just because u have sex with a white man?still living in old age? white man greater?
u have being ditched, wake up your stuipd head.
anyway good for us Singapore women here that u go to your white man.
anyway there is nothing to show off just u have a mixed race baby that doesn't even know belong to who. still living in your dream that your white bf will come back, hahahaha

Getting ditched by a white man is better than marrying a local guy. Face it, you also agree but you don't have a white man as bf.
 
Just bcos of your failure; you are labeling every local men as loser. So in other words, you are calling your dad as loser too? haha

My ex husband lost his job and had to drive grab. Can't even afford to feed himself after paying for the family. What good is he if he can't even support the family. Now he is unfaithful and married a vietnamese woman after our divorce. He is so cmi and a loser.
 
Getting ditched by a white man is better than marrying a local guy. Face it, you also agree but you don't have a white man as bf.
I no need to have a white man to prove I am good. but remember this, u have being ditched by a white man like a rubbish. so shut up, no worth to even talk here!
 
I no need to have a white man to prove I am good. but remember this, u have being ditched by a white man like a rubbish. so shut up, no worth to even talk here!

Yes you are jealous that I have a white man going to marry me and a mix blood child. I know you are still waiting for your white man to come but from the looks of it you won't find him because you are doomed to be with a local loser. I'm catching my flight tonight. Bye bye
 
Yes you are jealous that I have a white man going to marry me and a mix blood child. I know you are still waiting for your white man to come but from the looks of it you won't find him because you are doomed to be with a local loser. I'm catching my flight tonight. Bye bye
whatever. dont forget to bring your sarong.
 
lol the infamous troll .

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my husband is a conservative guy no sex before marriage, after marriage he don't enjoy sex as he experience pain when his foreskin being retracted.
This is the male side story of not enjoying the most intimate thing. Not an odd but maybe private question: does he DIY in his younger days? I was thinking maybe didn't DIY much that cause the skin to be tighter or sex is just not something he likes?
 
Wander how many ppl quietly resort to other solution when their spouse refuse intimacy. I am on the verge of depression. 19 years in a marriage and my wife only consummate with me twice resulting in 2 daughters. For past 18 years we have been sleeping in separate rooms. I am seriously considering to leave her when my youngest daughter is old enough to take the impact. Currently they are 18 and 15 years old.
I feel for you.
I've heard that husband sleeps in another room where the children & mother sleeps together in another. When I heard it, I feel that there's something deeply wrong in the choices made by the adults who can think Rationally. Mean children above spouse? wtf! If that's the choice, then shit will surely hit the fan 1 fine day; inviting trouble into the house.
 
Glad i found this thread. Similiar to beebuzz's situation and reason, spent more than 10 years in a sexless and childless marriage.
Tried giving and asking for a hug or a perk on cheek as an alternative but hubby says he is not into such things. Am i wrong in wanting to inject some passion into a sexless marriage? Yet he says he is not into these kind of hugging stuff. Sometimes i wonder what happened to the person whom i had dated.
I had initiated several arguements due to this and as a result he says he cant keep up with my expectations anymore. He feels that i am being incorrigeable and is feeling very tired with my nonsenses.
I feel that we are more like flatmates than couple.
:) Wow... to hear this from the female side of the house! Usually the male is the lead role LOL.
 
I’m also in sexless marriage for 7 years n still goin to do ivf
I think no sex between spouse but want to do IVF? This is crazy. Not to stigmatize, IVF is usually chosen when either party has some challenges. From the way you write, I assumed there's no problem with either? (assuming my guess is right, If i'm in your position, I will protest vehemently! Worst, good ground for a divorce. Please ignore my opinion if my guess is wrong...)
 
Aside from that problem, he is actually not a bad person, so far he didn’t cheat on me (or I haven’t caught him cheating), and he failed in his business few years ago, and he couldn’t do it because of his slipped disc problem and didn’t go and seek medical help.

guess I couldn’t bring myself to be so heartless as to leave him when he has to handle so many problems in his life.


Hi. can i know if u eventually divorce or stay on?
i am having the same problem too
 
my husband is a conservative guy no sex before marriage, after marriage he don't enjoy sex as he experience pain when his foreskin being retracted.

Needs to do more often. practice makes perfect. Foreplay is important for the woman. Make sure wife is wet enough (the more wet the better) before penetrate. Dont chiong in, slowly penetrate. My hubby experienced foreskin retract before too. We didnt have sex till married.
 



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