Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands


I think my spouse may be cheating on me..it has been on my mind for months but while I was typing on my hubby's laptop the list of search history pops up and to my shock the search string reads " Best Places to Make Out in singapore"...

Well, doesn't mean his cheating. Unless you see his history that he surf those massage site, or even match making site etc. Then probably.
I too sometimes google for 'discreet place in singapore for making love' etc.
 
If a couple is not on good term and the husband is looking for best place to make out in Singapore there are high possibility he might be cheating
 
Is this thread still active?

Looking for advice. By a twist of accidental fate, I saw commercial sex sites on my husband’s phone. I can’t seem to find out if he is alr engaging in such services or exploring still. Hence didn’t confront him. I trust(ed) my husband whole heartedly and I don’t check his stuff. I’m currently expecting my no. 2 and my firstborn is almost 2yo.

He doesn’t initiate sex as I’m preggy now and similar when we had no. 1. Only like occasionally. He’s an extremely good papa to his son and I couldn’t tell any signs of cheating (until now). Tbh I am very busy with my toddler and tired now that I’m preggy too. But we have been very happy with our new family since the birth of my son and he spends weekends solely with us. Only that weekdays he works very late and not home till 9/10 - this is prob the tell-tale sign?
I know men can compartmentalise their lives and be a good family man but also a totally different animal on the other end.

What do I do now? I can’t seem to find evidence and I know he will just keep denying even if I confront since I don’t have any concrete evidence.
 
Other things aside. If he is really working till so late every night then have to get someone to check on him what is he doing outside till so late.

It’s good to know the truth be it is he seening anyone or really working as it’s not healthy for you mentally if u keep on suspecting him if he is really working
 
Is this thread still active?

Looking for advice. By a twist of accidental fate, I saw commercial sex sites on my husband’s phone. I can’t seem to find out if he is alr engaging in such services or exploring still. Hence didn’t confront him. I trust(ed) my husband whole heartedly and I don’t check his stuff. I’m currently expecting my no. 2 and my firstborn is almost 2yo.

He doesn’t initiate sex as I’m preggy now and similar when we had no. 1. Only like occasionally. He’s an extremely good papa to his son and I couldn’t tell any signs of cheating (until now). Tbh I am very busy with my toddler and tired now that I’m preggy too. But we have been very happy with our new family since the birth of my son and he spends weekends solely with us. Only that weekdays he works very late and not home till 9/10 - this is prob the tell-tale sign?
I know men can compartmentalise their lives and be a good family man but also a totally different animal on the other end.

What do I do now? I can’t seem to find evidence and I know he will just keep denying even if I confront since I don’t have any concrete evidence.

His OT = at his desk?
 
Is this thread still active?

Looking for advice. By a twist of accidental fate, I saw commercial sex sites on my husband’s phone. I can’t seem to find out if he is alr engaging in such services or exploring still. Hence didn’t confront him. I trust(ed) my husband whole heartedly and I don’t check his stuff. I’m currently expecting my no. 2 and my firstborn is almost 2yo.

He doesn’t initiate sex as I’m preggy now and similar when we had no. 1. Only like occasionally. He’s an extremely good papa to his son and I couldn’t tell any signs of cheating (until now). Tbh I am very busy with my toddler and tired now that I’m preggy too. But we have been very happy with our new family since the birth of my son and he spends weekends solely with us. Only that weekdays he works very late and not home till 9/10 - this is prob the tell-tale sign?
I know men can compartmentalise their lives and be a good family man but also a totally different animal on the other end.

What do I do now? I can’t seem to find evidence and I know he will just keep denying even if I confront since I don’t have any concrete evidence.

First, you need to find out more about this sex sites you mentioned. How you going to do it, is another question.
As there's many different kind of commercial sex sites out there. If it's mainly a site that share commercial sex (like special service from HC, or engaging FL), it may or may not that he's exploring, and have not engage yet.

Secondly, is it common for him to work late and reach home around 9/10 previously? If it's uncommon, then something going on. Is he really that busy that required him to work OT? Or maybe he's got some 'stuff' outside already.

Try to hint him, and talk him out. Perhaps you can hint some things from him...
 
First, you need to find out more about this sex sites you mentioned. How you going to do it, is another question.
As there's many different kind of commercial sex sites out there. If it's mainly a site that share commercial sex (like special service from HC, or engaging FL), it may or may not that he's exploring, and have not engage yet.

Secondly, is it common for him to work late and reach home around 9/10 previously? If it's uncommon, then something going on. Is he really that busy that required him to work OT? Or maybe he's got some 'stuff' outside already.

Try to hint him, and talk him out. Perhaps you can hint some things from him...
Hi diddledum,
Is he behavior normal at home or pretty secretive with his action especially very protective with his HP.
You shd be able to see/sense some tell tale signs
 
Hi diddledum,
Is he behavior normal at home or pretty secretive with his action especially very protective with his HP.
You shd be able to see/sense some tell tale signs

Thanks ladies. I finally asked him. Indeed he told me he was toying with the idea and even made an appointment but didn’t go ahead with it. (He claimed he couldn’t get past himself ) How do I say this but my gut sense is that he’s telling the truth. You know how sometimes you can just from your women intuition when your man is telling the truth anot? But still cold shouldering him. Idk what to do now. I’m tempted to ask him the exact details of what he had planned to do but I’m also afraid to know.

What will you do now? He’s just keep saying sorry and trying to make small talk with me
 
First, you need to find out more about this sex sites you mentioned. How you going to do it, is another question.
As there's many different kind of commercial sex sites out there. If it's mainly a site that share commercial sex (like special service from HC, or engaging FL), it may or may not that he's exploring, and have not engage yet.

Secondly, is it common for him to work late and reach home around 9/10 previously? If it's uncommon, then something going on. Is he really that busy that required him to work OT? Or maybe he's got some 'stuff' outside already.

Try to hint him, and talk him out. Perhaps you can hint some things from him...
Hi Drain

About OT, yes he’s always been working OT since I remember. He works in sales and often needs to do paperwork once he’s done with his appts. At the same time cos he’s sales right, he doesn’t always need to spend time at his desk and he can be out running around.

Sites - it’s the SBF lor the commercial sex sites where they give reviews of the ML and ratings. (See liao also disgusted at the men posting!!!)
 
Hi Drain

About OT, yes he’s always been working OT since I remember. He works in sales and often needs to do paperwork once he’s done with his appts. At the same time cos he’s sales right, he doesn’t always need to spend time at his desk and he can be out running around.

Sites - it’s the SBF lor the commercial sex sites where they give reviews of the ML and ratings. (See liao also disgusted at the men posting!!!)

Well, if he's been working OT since you remember, meaning even he OT now, is kind of common already. But like you said, if he's in the Sales line, then alot of opportunity to have him to find outside as well. It's quite difficult to really check, unless engaging a PI. But then again, when got the proof/evidence, will you be able to take it?

Am not sure what is SBF. Sorry. If is about reviews on the ML?, then probably you may want to find out his nickname? Then try to search his posting to see if he got post any reviews?
 
Well, if he's been working OT since you remember, meaning even he OT now, is kind of common already. But like you said, if he's in the Sales line, then alot of opportunity to have him to find outside as well. It's quite difficult to really check, unless engaging a PI. But then again, when got the proof/evidence, will you be able to take it?

Am not sure what is SBF. Sorry. If is about reviews on the ML?, then probably you may want to find out his nickname? Then try to search his posting to see if he got post any reviews?

Sammyboyforum where they post reviews of “massage ladies”. So I checked briefly he wasn’t logged in and didn’t seem like he had an account. Like just reading the reviews. Anyway he admitted to “browsing” and had intention to but claimed he didn’t. So I also don’t know what to do now.
 
Sammyboyforum where they post reviews of “massage ladies”. So I checked briefly he wasn’t logged in and didn’t seem like he had an account. Like just reading the reviews. Anyway he admitted to “browsing” and had intention to but claimed he didn’t. So I also don’t know what to do now.

Well, am not sure of this site. But many forums, if you don't have account, wont be able to access some section. Just like this forum. If you aren't registered as member, you won't be able to access some of the section.
So if you want to find out if he's telling the truth on the bold part, you can try go into the forum, BUT don't register. See if you are able to read those reviews of the 'massage ladies'. If you can't, meaning he's not telling the truth.
Then you can see how you going to proceed from there
 
Well, am not sure of this site. But many forums, if you don't have account, wont be able to access some section. Just like this forum. If you aren't registered as member, you won't be able to access some of the section.
So if you want to find out if he's telling the truth on the bold part, you can try go into the forum, BUT don't register. See if you are able to read those reviews of the 'massage ladies'. If you can't, meaning he's not telling the truth.
Then you can see how you going to proceed from there
Yes I went in! That’s why feeling so upset at what the forum people are posting about. The double lives that some men are leading is unbelievable. And to think my husband may be one of them!
 
Yes I went in! That’s why feeling so upset at what the forum people are posting about. The double lives that some men are leading is unbelievable. And to think my husband may be one of them!

Then this statement: Anyway he admitted to “browsing” and had intention to but claimed he didn’t
I don't really believe le... Well, he's your hubby. You need to think of how you want this.. Ask him to promise you not to visit again?
 
Hi diddledum,

With the fact that he have surf SBF, especially on the massage services, I do have a doubt that he did not engage. This I don't trust as well. From the beginning, when he surf the site for such, even if he didn't registered, meaning he have the intention to engage already. There's so many section in that forum. Why he go that particular section? Cause he must have the thoughts of engaging such right? If not, who will be so free to surf such a site?
We all have motive when visiting a forum. Like motherhood, probably we come in when we have relationship issue. Or cause of pregnancy issue etc. And sharing of our knowledge/experience with the rest.
Hence I believe he already have the thoughts to engage those FL for massage, or trying to see where does provide 'special'. I believe he too have already visited those places already.

Now comes the main problem. If he really visited, what's your intention? To continue with the marriage? Or to divorce? Sometimes truth hurts... So please be prepare for the worst if you want to confront him.
 
Hi diddledum,

Somehow I do agreed with the rest tt for one who surfs such website would have the intention for action.

However, you know your hubby best and with your intuition tells u tt he’s not lying so give him the benefit of the doubts. But, you might want to keep a close monitor. Moreover, he working hours is flexible bring a sales person
 
Hi diddledum,

With the fact that he have surf SBF, especially on the massage services, I do have a doubt that he did not engage. This I don't trust as well. From the beginning, when he surf the site for such, even if he didn't registered, meaning he have the intention to engage already. There's so many section in that forum. Why he go that particular section? Cause he must have the thoughts of engaging such right? If not, who will be so free to surf such a site?
We all have motive when visiting a forum. Like motherhood, probably we come in when we have relationship issue. Or cause of pregnancy issue etc. And sharing of our knowledge/experience with the rest.
Hence I believe he already have the thoughts to engage those FL for massage, or trying to see where does provide 'special'. I believe he too have already visited those places already.

Now comes the main problem. If he really visited, what's your intention? To continue with the marriage? Or to divorce? Sometimes truth hurts... So please be prepare for the worst if you want to confront him.
Thanks dear for sharing your thoughts. I know, precisely why I am seeking advise here. I have so much at stake here - a toddler and another baby on the way. Doesn’t help that I’m preggy now, this is almost killing me. This group really provides the support like what bluesky said.
 
Hi diddledum,

Somehow I do agreed with the rest tt for one who surfs such website would have the intention for action.

However, you know your hubby best and with your intuition tells u tt he’s not lying so give him the benefit of the doubts. But, you might want to keep a close monitor. Moreover, he working hours is flexible bring a sales person
I think my main concern is that even if he didn’t go ahead this time, doesn’t mean he won’t attempt again even in 1-2 yrs/mths even. Right? I’m feeling so confused and partially I guess also in denial.
 
I found out my hubby's affair 2 months ago and I'm currently filing divorce. Please bear in mind if the innocent party continues to live together with the adulterer for more than 6 months without commencing divorce proceedings, the adultery can no longer be used as the basis for divorce.
 
I think my main concern is that even if he didn’t go ahead this time, doesn’t mean he won’t attempt again even in 1-2 yrs/mths even. Right? I’m feeling so confused and partially I guess also in denial.

This suspicion is not good for you n your baby. Even if you ask him personally, you will not be happy with his answer.
If he says no- you won’t believe
If he says yes- you will be devastated.

if he done it, ask yourself you want to dwell in past or move on ( most prob he won’t admit)

You need something physical as a security pole, ask yourself what will make you feel secure for the time being, n make you try to trust him that he won’t attempt in the near future.
 
I think my main concern is that even if he didn’t go ahead this time, doesn’t mean he won’t attempt again even in 1-2 yrs/mths even. Right? I’m feeling so confused and partially I guess also in denial.
Hi diddledum
I know is easier to say than to be done by telling you to take care of ur pregnancy & little ones.
With your current situation, your top priority is take good care of yourself till the baby due while meanwhile you monitor his behavior till such a time tt u hv solid evidence then deal with it.
 
Hi ladies.. I’m back! Engaged PI in sept last yr but only file for divorce this March. And his is dragging my time therefore the report is also expired.. am i in the right thread omg?
 
Sammyboyforum where they post reviews of “massage ladies”. So I checked briefly he wasn’t logged in and didn’t seem like he had an account. Like just reading the reviews. Anyway he admitted to “browsing” and had intention to but claimed he didn’t. So I also don’t know what to do now.

Just move on. Many people like to browse just for reading
 
I’ve no one to talk to, so really appreciate if someone can hear me out..... and talk to me that I’m not crazy.....

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. I found out his affairs in 2014. It’s hard to say but he cheated on me 2-3 years after our marriage.
1st time was with his colleague. It went on for 3 years. He did not have sex with her.
2nd time was also with colleague. They did have sex because I saw the messages.
Both affairs were initiated by him and I know that he loved them very much.

I managed to find out about the 2nd one and confronted them both. He broke off with her and we went for counseling for about 1 year.

Humans do stupid things when emotional. We had been trying to get pregnant before I found out about his affairs. Well, I got pregnant whilst we were still in counseling. Being pregnant didn’t allow me to completely have emotional outbursts during counseling because I was afraid of affecting my child. I gave birth to my 1st child in 2016.

Things were good because I focused on my child and he loved being a father. Everything seemed normal and I just gave birth to my 2nd one.

When I found out about his affairs, I made him delete everything i.e. phone numbers, messages, pictures, everything. Tonight I found out that he still had their numbers in his phone and saved under a guy’s name. I asked him about it and he said that it was Google who did that when he changed phone. I’m not tech savvy but he said he deleted everything, so how could it be that he still has their numbers and saved under a guy’s name? Is this possible?

He explained that he didn’t contact them and then he said that he’s been trying so hard on our relationship but he’s always kicked back to Square 1 whenever something like this happens. I told him that I acknowledge that he’s been a good father to the kids and a good partner to me. But I honestly have trouble seeing him as my husband, as my love.

The conversation somehow ended up with me asking him what he wants from me to make him feel appreciated. He said he wanted me to be a good wife. I’m totally mind-blown and wondering if I’m living in the 1920s. Good wife?
I’m a FTWM. My salary is on par with his. I work slightly longer hours than him. I am on ML now but will be pumping when I go back to work. I pull my own weight in this family but I need to be a good wife?
So to humor him, I asked him exactly what he expects for me to be a “good wife”. He will be putting together a list for me. Yes, my eyeballs rolled out of their sockets at this point.

After all that has happened, I’m still here, dealing with my emotions, dealing with his emotions and figuring out how to still stay sane in this marriage. I love my children. I appreciate that he’s so hands on with the kids and helps with the running of the house and family. I have difficulty being in love with him as a husband.

Am I being crazy to be humoring him at this point? Honestly, I’ve told him that the version he wants me to be is not the true version of myself. But it seems that this is what he wants.
Am I supposed to suppress “me” to keep this family and marriage? But why is it me and not him? He’s the one who had all the fun and broke me in the process.

I sometimes wish that we had called it quits back then. Then both of us would have had a 2nd chance of finding “true love” instead of being a cup-half-empty version of ourselves now.
with all due respect you, what you did , how much you earn, whatever has nothing to do with being a good wife

and i dont see a problem for being a good wife, nor how it is related to 1920s

perhaps its time to look at yourself as well
 
Hi! Recently I have come across many friends whose husband have cheated or are acting suspicious. Actually I realised that most wives can sense or have woman’s instinct to detect if their husband has strayed, but not many actually knows how to track them to verify their suspicion.


We should learn to be smart wives and not let cheating idiots fool us into thinking they are good husband and fathers when they can still go sleep around with many outside partners.

I personally knew a couple married for 14 years with 2 teenage children, the wife is totally clueless about what her husband is doing outside, not sure why she couldn’t detect his cheating habits. He is currently cheating on her with 3 or more women, 1 of them is his colleague and direct report and she is 11 years younger than him and married with 2 young children.

When someone wants to cheat, there are many ways to do so, for this husband, he always leave office at 6pm sharp to have his after work activities on weekdays and the company he is working at doesn’t require him to work OT or entertain people, but probably the wife doesn’t know.

He will take half day leaves on a work day and leave office to check in luxury hotels with his girlfriends.

During the week when his family returns to their hometown, he will go with them but come back earlier while they are still in there, and arrange for fancy hotels stay over with multiple girl friends. The recent one he stayed 2 nights at the outpost (adult only hotel) and 1 night at equarius hotel, with 2 different partners. All before the family returns to Singapore.

I find it appalling that this could be happening and the wife have totally no clue on what’s going on. We have to stay alert and don’t lose focus just because you have children for let your husbands go out every night with different women, especially when they control their own finances, drives luxury continental cars and are generous with spending on fancy restaurants and hotels.

Actually, there are many ways to keep track of your husband’s whereabouts, especially when you sense that he is acting suspicious.
  1. Track his spending by getting hold of his credit card statements, some men will charge everything to their card because they think their wives are dumb and won’t bother with tracking their expenses
  2. Check their WhatsApp when they are not aware, e.g. while sleeping, but first you have to get their phone password cos anyone who has things to hide will surely lock their phones with a password
  3. Check his photo gallery for any strange photos of women or locations
  4. Get hold of his google account, ask him to log in using your android phone and sync his gmail account to yours, if he refused that means he has something to hide. And get hold of all his email accounts, that’s where the hotel confirmation will be sent to him. But then again if the cheater is an experienced one, he will book the room and change the guest name to the mistress’ name instead to avoid being detected. Do you know you can call the hotel front desk to check if the guest has checked in by providing the name?
  5. If you are still clueless, you should get a PI to do the job, it’s really much better to get one for a peace of mind instead of going crazy trying to find out if he is cheating on you.
Seriously, nowadays marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness, so we have to learn to be smarter than the husbands to try to detect the signs early.

Sadly, the naive wife I have mentioned above still doesn’t know that her husband is currently cheating on her and with multiple women. There are just too many who are willing to have sex with no strings attached, as long as you can satisfy their needs.

9 out of 10 men cannot be trusted.

Moral values are dead.
Hi grapes88
I doubt some of ur suggestions work eg:-
1) there’s no way to track the credit card bill/s if is/are mailed to the ofc or is e-stnt
3) for any cheaters will be smart to delete or file it elsewhere
4) there’s no way tt the hotel reception staff will disclose guests info. Perhaps you cld share with me the tricks
 
Hi! Recently I have come across many friends whose husband have cheated or are acting suspicious. Actually I realised that most wives can sense or have woman’s instinct to detect if their husband has strayed, but not many actually knows how to track them to verify their suspicion.


We should learn to be smart wives and not let cheating idiots fool us into thinking they are good husband and fathers when they can still go sleep around with many outside partners.

I personally knew a couple married for 14 years with 2 teenage children, the wife is totally clueless about what her husband is doing outside, not sure why she couldn’t detect his cheating habits. He is currently cheating on her with 3 or more women, 1 of them is his colleague and direct report and she is 11 years younger than him and married with 2 young children.

When someone wants to cheat, there are many ways to do so, for this husband, he always leave office at 6pm sharp to have his after work activities on weekdays and the company he is working at doesn’t require him to work OT or entertain people, but probably the wife doesn’t know.

He will take half day leaves on a work day and leave office to check in luxury hotels with his girlfriends.

During the week when his family returns to their hometown, he will go with them but come back earlier while they are still in there, and arrange for fancy hotels stay over with multiple girl friends. The recent one he stayed 2 nights at the outpost (adult only hotel) and 1 night at equarius hotel, with 2 different partners. All before the family returns to Singapore.

I find it appalling that this could be happening and the wife have totally no clue on what’s going on. We have to stay alert and don’t lose focus just because you have children for let your husbands go out every night with different women, especially when they control their own finances, drives luxury continental cars and are generous with spending on fancy restaurants and hotels.

Actually, there are many ways to keep track of your husband’s whereabouts, especially when you sense that he is acting suspicious.
  1. Track his spending by getting hold of his credit card statements, some men will charge everything to their card because they think their wives are dumb and won’t bother with tracking their expenses
  2. Check their WhatsApp when they are not aware, e.g. while sleeping, but first you have to get their phone password cos anyone who has things to hide will surely lock their phones with a password
  3. Check his photo gallery for any strange photos of women or locations
  4. Get hold of his google account, ask him to log in using your android phone and sync his gmail account to yours, if he refused that means he has something to hide. And get hold of all his email accounts, that’s where the hotel confirmation will be sent to him. But then again if the cheater is an experienced one, he will book the room and change the guest name to the mistress’ name instead to avoid being detected. Do you know you can call the hotel front desk to check if the guest has checked in by providing the name?
  5. If you are still clueless, you should get a PI to do the job, it’s really much better to get one for a peace of mind instead of going crazy trying to find out if he is cheating on you.
Seriously, nowadays marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness, so we have to learn to be smarter than the husbands to try to detect the signs early.

Sadly, the naive wife I have mentioned above still doesn’t know that her husband is currently cheating on her and with multiple women. There are just too many who are willing to have sex with no strings attached, as long as you can satisfy their needs.

9 out of 10 men cannot be trusted.

Moral values are dead.

Hi grapes88,

Not all husband are bad. As you mention, that person husband is cheating with a married women. Married women do cheat too. I happen to be one of the husband.

1. They can get their buddy to book for them. That what I found out

2. They change using Telegram, why? Cos Telegram can be password lock itself even you manage to unlock the phone.

3. They don’t do that unless they are crazy or falling in love for a period of time.

4. Many google account can be use or using 2nd hand phone.But it still can be done if you know how.

5. PI – make sure you found a good one.

If the husband is driving with dashcam, you can look into it. This might help if he didn’t delete every day. If he did delete, then you more or less know what going on. Hope this help.


The best part is how to move on without looking back. Cheers
 
Hi,

I'm new to this forum. Similar as most in this thread, have a unfaithful husband...

About us:
I'm 38 and he's 40. He's my first, whom I knew him since I'm 17 years old during school time. We got married in 2004 and we have 2 kids together, of age 12 and 5 respectively.

Problem:
Things was good as it seems till early this year in around March 2019. My hubby was back home, and as usual, he passed his mobile phone to my daughter to play games and watch youtube where he went to bath after his dinner. Halfway through, I heard some weird noise from the mobile phone. It's like some panting, and a bit of moaning sound. I got shocked and noticed it came from the mobile phone my daughter was holding. I took it over, and saw that it's porn video clip! Guessed my daughter accidentally click it when trying to play games or what. From the video clip, I can know the man is none other than my own husband, and clearly he's fxxking with another woman! Worst is as there's some deco in the room, which I recognized that it's on our matrimonial bed! I can barely see the woman's face though as the video was taken during 'movement'. I quickly transferred the file to my mobile phone... When he's out from bath, I confronted him, and as expected, he denied it's him. He claimed he downloaded that particular porn instead. When I told him about the deco, he told me he downloaded cause the deco looks alike as ours...
Weeks later, this couldn't get off my mind, and I have purchased a spycam. With that, I installed in our bedroom. I went on ahead to bring both my child for a holiday, so as to set up a trap, in order for him to bring that slut home. When am back, I went back to our room, and retrieve the spycam when he's not around. At that point of time, am not sure if it does capture anything though. The next day, when I viewed the files in the sd card, found out there's various file available, captured at different timing... I transferred all the files to my mobile phone. And took half day off so can view the file discreetly. Most files were nothing much related, except for one, when I saw, my BP goes up immediately! Yes! It's a video file in which showing my hb on bed with that slut!!
I went on to law firm that very day, and had file writ of summon against him.

Sorry for the long post, but well, this my discovering when partner have affair, and hopefully other members when detected such, will play cautious against it.

1) He will change his appearance, from hairstyle to clothing
2) He will try bring his mobile phone where-ever he go
3) If both have kids, and kids want to play game/youtube, he will either get another mobile or a tablet for the kids (So he can still use his mobile phone)
4) Intimacy getting lesser
 
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Hi,

I'm new to this forum. Similar as most in this thread, have a unfaithful husband...

About us:
I'm 38 and he's 40. He's my first, whom I knew him since I'm 17 years old during school time. We got married in 2004 and we have 2 kids together, of age 12 and 5 respectively.

Problem:
Things was good as it seems till early this year in around March 2019. My hubby was back home, and as usual, he passed his mobile phone to my daughter to play games and watch youtube where he went to bath after his dinner. Halfway through, I heard some weird noise from the mobile phone. It's like some panting, and a bit of moaning sound. I got shocked and noticed it came from the mobile phone my daughter was holding. I took it over, and saw that it's porn video clip! Guessed my daughter accidentally click it when trying to play games or what. From the video clip, I can know the man is none other than my own husband, and clearly he's fxxking with another woman! Worst is as there's some deco in the room, which I recognized that it's on our matrimonial bed! I can barely see the woman's face though as the video was taken during 'movement'. I quickly transferred the file to my mobile phone... When he's out from bath, I confronted him, and as expected, he denied it's him. He claimed he downloaded that particular porn instead. When I told him about the deco, he told me he downloaded cause the deco looks alike as ours...
Weeks later, this couldn't get off my mind, and I have purchased a spycam. With that, I installed in our bedroom. I went on ahead to bring both my child for a holiday, so as to set up a trap, in order for him to bring that slut home. When am back, I went back to our room, and retrieve the spycam when he's not around. At that point of time, am not sure if it does capture anything though. The next day, when I viewed the files in the sd card, found out there's various file available, captured at different timing... I transferred all the files to my mobile phone. And took half day off so can view the file discreetly. Most files were nothing much related, except for one, when I saw, my BP goes up immediately! Yes! It's a video file in which showing my hb on bed with that slut!!
I went on to law firm that very day, and had file writ of summon against him.

Sorry for the long post, but well, this my discovering when partner have affair, and hopefully other members when detected such, will play cautious against it.

1) He will change his appearance, from hairstyle to clothing
2) He will try bring his mobile phone where-ever he go
3) If both have kids, and kids want to play game/youtube, he will either get another mobile or a tablet for the kids (So he can still use his mobile phone)
4) Intimacy getting lesser

Omg.. Another case for such.. What has this world becoming? Why there's so many cheapo men out there!
If you want find another woman, look for it outside and don't bring back home!
Never heard of the saying 'Don't Shit At Own Place'? This not only refer to same company, but house too!

Take care sis! And such jerks really not worth holding... You need to stay strong for both your child, and yourself!
 
Omg.. Another case for such.. What has this world becoming? Why there's so many cheapo men out there!
If you want find another woman, look for it outside and don't bring back home!
Never heard of the saying 'Don't Shit At Own Place'? This not only refer to same company, but house too!

Take care sis! And such jerks really not worth holding... You need to stay strong for both your child, and yourself!

Thank you! Yes. Am staying strong for my kids and myself.
Why should I be the one whom suffering while he's enjoying himself?
Why can't I enjoy myself and make myself happy too? Right?
 
Thank you! Yes. Am staying strong for my kids and myself.
Why should I be the one whom suffering while he's enjoying himself?
Why can't I enjoy myself and make myself happy too? Right?
Hi Kelyn, am sorry to ‘meet’ you at this platform. I must say you are a very strong woman. However, do stay stronger as the path is not going to be easy down the road. Jia you!
 
Hi,

I'm new to this forum. Similar as most in this thread, have a unfaithful husband...

About us:
I'm 38 and he's 40. He's my first, whom I knew him since I'm 17 years old during school time. We got married in 2004 and we have 2 kids together, of age 12 and 5 respectively.

Problem:
Things was good as it seems till early this year in around March 2019. My hubby was back home, and as usual, he passed his mobile phone to my daughter to play games and watch youtube where he went to bath after his dinner. Halfway through, I heard some weird noise from the mobile phone. It's like some panting, and a bit of moaning sound. I got shocked and noticed it came from the mobile phone my daughter was holding. I took it over, and saw that it's porn video clip! Guessed my daughter accidentally click it when trying to play games or what. From the video clip, I can know the man is none other than my own husband, and clearly he's fxxking with another woman! Worst is as there's some deco in the room, which I recognized that it's on our matrimonial bed! I can barely see the woman's face though as the video was taken during 'movement'. I quickly transferred the file to my mobile phone... When he's out from bath, I confronted him, and as expected, he denied it's him. He claimed he downloaded that particular porn instead. When I told him about the deco, he told me he downloaded cause the deco looks alike as ours...
Weeks later, this couldn't get off my mind, and I have purchased a spycam. With that, I installed in our bedroom. I went on ahead to bring both my child for a holiday, so as to set up a trap, in order for him to bring that slut home. When am back, I went back to our room, and retrieve the spycam when he's not around. At that point of time, am not sure if it does capture anything though. The next day, when I viewed the files in the sd card, found out there's various file available, captured at different timing... I transferred all the files to my mobile phone. And took half day off so can view the file discreetly. Most files were nothing much related, except for one, when I saw, my BP goes up immediately! Yes! It's a video file in which showing my hb on bed with that slut!!
I went on to law firm that very day, and had file writ of summon against him.

Sorry for the long post, but well, this my discovering when partner have affair, and hopefully other members when detected such, will play cautious against it.

1) He will change his appearance, from hairstyle to clothing
2) He will try bring his mobile phone where-ever he go
3) If both have kids, and kids want to play game/youtube, he will either get another mobile or a tablet for the kids (So he can still use his mobile phone)
4) Intimacy getting lesser


Kelyn Neo, you have make the right decision. He has betrayed your trust, he does not deserve your love.
How to sustain a marriage when the trust has broken, when Husband shows no respect for you.

Your heart must be in pain but this is the best way to save yourself.
Lucky u were still young (below 40) , still healthy, able to work and be independent.

I hope you can win your maintenance, housing and ...etc.
Not sure the gender of your 2 kids but if they were boys, they will still be close to Father when they grow up.
You have to be prepare.
Girls will closer to Mother and understand the feeling more.
Have to let them see their Father ....so then they will know how bad he was, then they can appreciate you when they grow up.

Hope you can alway be positive and stay strong - Physically torture - tired / hard work is better than emotionally and mentally torture.


One day, when you have overcome setback, you will have no regret and feel proud of yourself.
 
I have a girlfriend, when she was 40, has 1 child, her Husband has his own co , has a girlfriend for 3 years (she was his admin).
She found out and forgive him but deep inside her ,she can’t forget and was depressed.
Also she has to help him pay his debts using her saving and his co has closed down.
She wanted to divorce but because of her child she continue the marriage.

When she was 50, because her husband does not care to give her enough allowance and he has another girlfriend again. He did not pay her back the money she has helped him pay for his debts.

She wanted to divorce but was stuck with 2 more children (total 3). She was a homemaker.
At age 51, what can she works?
How much can she earns with only O level.
What if half way her Husband stop maintenance?
Where to stay? Bill? Children ...etc.
Her 2 young children were age 7 and 8.
One of them has special needs.

If she has leave when she was 40 with 1 child only, she would be able to support herself and build her career.
Her life would be happier.

Those who struggle to stay or leave, I would say follow your mind not your heart.
Leave a unhealthy and miserable marriage (whatever reasons ,not must be adultery).
Let go when you were still young and capable.


If a man has break the marriage vows, break his promise, he is not a man who can honour his words.

Ask yourself:

-Are you able to spend your entire life , rely on him when you become old and helpless?
Or will he bully you even more?
- if he needs a kidney or half a liver from you, will you donate yours to him?
 
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Hi Kelyn, am sorry to ‘meet’ you at this platform. I must say you are a very strong woman. However, do stay stronger as the path is not going to be easy down the road. Jia you!

Thanks! Yes. Will stay strong for the sake of my children, and myself!
 
Kelyn Neo, you have make the right decision. He has betrayed your trust, he does not deserve your love.
How to sustain a marriage when the trust has broken, when Husband shows no respect for you.

Your heart must be in pain but this is the best way to save yourself.
Lucky u were still young (below 40) , still healthy, able to work and be independent.

I hope you can win your maintenance, housing and ...etc.
Not sure the gender of your 2 kids but if they were boys, they will still be close to Father when they grow up.
You have to be prepare.
Girls will closer to Mother and understand the feeling more.
Have to let them see their Father ....so then they will know how bad he was, then they can appreciate you when they grow up.

Hope you can alway be positive and stay strong - Physically torture - tired / hard work is better than emotionally and mentally torture.


One day, when you have overcome setback, you will have no regret and feel proud of yourself.

Yes. I've definitely made the right choice! This is unacceptable!! Having affair is a wrong move. Bringing the slut back is totally no respect to the marriage and family and home! At times I do think over myself. What could have gone wrong that we have moved to this stage. All the years/youth/time spent went into waste...

Housing wise am not going to take it. Will fight to sell it in the open market, even it's at lost. Even he want to take over the house, am not going to give in to him. Let him find his own place!
 
Yes. I've definitely made the right choice! This is unacceptable!! Having affair is a wrong move. Bringing the slut back is totally no respect to the marriage and family and home! At times I do think over myself. What could have gone wrong that we have moved to this stage. All the years/youth/time spent went into waste...

Housing wise am not going to take it. Will fight to sell it in the open market, even it's at lost. Even he want to take over the house, am not going to give in to him. Let him find his own place!

I can understand how you feel.
Sometime life doesn’t has a choice....

I guess and hope you have your family to support you during your tough period.
You can google for ‘Inspiration quotes’ to stay positive each day.

If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me.
 
I can understand how you feel.
Sometime life doesn’t has a choice....

I guess and hope you have your family to support you during your tough period.
You can google for ‘Inspiration quotes’ to stay positive each day.

If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me.

Thanks. Well, i do think we have choices. Just that whether we want to make it or not. Sadly to say, some chose not to make the choices as afraid may get hurt in the end. But again, who know if you make the choice, life will be better?
So do things and make the choice which you think n felt is right.
 
Thanks. Well, i do think we have choices. Just that whether we want to make it or not. Sadly to say, some chose not to make the choices as afraid may get hurt in the end. But again, who know if you make the choice, life will be better?
So do things and make the choice which you think n felt is right.


Seeing that you are so strong inspired me. Same as you, we were together since Sch days and our kids are of similar ages. But for me, this is the nth time he is unfaithful. My boss always tell me men will never change but I thought God has changed him... I’m wrong, yet again.
Staying together after multiple unfaithfulness is the easy way out. I have emerged stronger after each episode but now that it happened again, I’m struggling if I should just continue with him just like how we moved on from previous episodes. I think the 3 year old kid is what’s causing my struggle to call it quit. Boys having no Father figure to grow up with... I have initiated divorce. I cannot imagine every few years down the road I have to brace through another storm. Have you filed? Did he contest?
 
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Seeing that you are so strong inspired me. Same as you, we were together since Sch days and our kids are of similar ages. But for me, this is the nth time he is unfaithful. My boss always tell me men will never change but I thought God has changed him... I’m wrong, yet again.
Staying together after multiple unfaithfulness is the easy way out. I have emerged stronger after each episode but now that it happened again, I’m struggling if I should just continue with him just like how we moved on from previous episodes. I think the 5 year old kid is what’s causing my struggle to call it quit. Boys having no Father figure to grow up with... I have initiated divorce. I cannot imagine every few years down the road I have to brace through another storm. Have you filed? Did he contest?

nth = ninth?
If ninth, you are really good in 'enduring'. Ever since I found out my soon-to-be hubby is having an affair, I cannot take it and filed already. Well, it depend on what is the thing. I knew from some friend of mine that said, affair is like addiction. Once the person had affair, he/she will never change, and will continue having it.

Heard of a saying? The kid doesn't lose his/her father/mother in a failed marriage. No matter what, even if you have divorced, the child will always have a father :)

Stay strong! You are not the only one... Can pm me if you wish also :)
 
nth = ninth?
If ninth, you are really good in 'enduring'. Ever since I found out my soon-to-be hubby is having an affair, I cannot take it and filed already. Well, it depend on what is the thing. I knew from some friend of mine that said, affair is like addiction. Once the person had affair, he/she will never change, and will continue having it.

Heard of a saying? The kid doesn't lose his/her father/mother in a failed marriage. No matter what, even if you have divorced, the child will always have a father :)

Stay strong! You are not the only one... Can pm me if you wish also :)

Indeed it’s takes a lot to endure... I mean one is truly bad enf that I wanted to kill myself but how you (^stronger) that you managed to... one after another???
 
Indeed it’s takes a lot to endure... I mean one is truly bad enf that I wanted to kill myself but how you (^stronger) that you managed to... one after another???

I think you referring to Stronger.. Haha.
I too can't endure with just one time affair....
 
Nth time means many times... Over a period of more than 10 years... And not counting those I didn't manage to find out??
I guess I get stronger and stronger after each episode cuz heart gets tougher and realization clearer. I'm not as sad this time. Really. I'm just feeling bad that I have let the kids down. But then again, it's not me, it's him. I'm not the one who have decided to cause pain and hurt to the family , it's him. However, getting down to the real thing is really the difficult part. How much to divide and all. I hate the practical part of this....
 
Is It necessary for both party to find their own lawyer? Even though it's going to be uncontested as agreed? can we just get one lawyer to do everything for us?
 
Nth time means many times... Over a period of more than 10 years... And not counting those I didn't manage to find out??
I guess I get stronger and stronger after each episode cuz heart gets tougher and realization clearer. I'm not as sad this time. Really. I'm just feeling bad that I have let the kids down. But then again, it's not me, it's him. I'm not the one who have decided to cause pain and hurt to the family , it's him. However, getting down to the real thing is really the difficult part. How much to divide and all. I hate the practical part of this....
^Stronger you have made a very wise choice. **** the fucking asshole .... u dun need him at all and your kids will know he is an asshole who destroys the family & causes the hurt to you & the kids.
Such asshole will burn in hell together with all the fuxking bitches that wreck people family.

Do be strong, take good care of urself and ur kids
 
Nth time means many times... Over a period of more than 10 years... And not counting those I didn't manage to find out??
I guess I get stronger and stronger after each episode cuz heart gets tougher and realization clearer. I'm not as sad this time. Really. I'm just feeling bad that I have let the kids down. But then again, it's not me, it's him. I'm not the one who have decided to cause pain and hurt to the family , it's him. However, getting down to the real thing is really the difficult part. How much to divide and all. I hate the practical part of this....

Oh my god. Then why do you hold on for?? Come on! Wake up!!!

Well, be it contested/uncontested, only need to engage 1 lawyer from either side.
For uncontested, of course it's the easy way out that both agree on the T&C..
For contested, even if you engage lawyer, and he doesn't, still can proceed as contested.
Just that he be the 'lawyer' where he will fight against yours
 


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