Desperate cry for help: Jobless husband now getting depression and other health problems

[darlingbabe]

Hubby has been out of a job for 3 years now and has started showing signs of depression, panic attack, and health problems. I believe that his self-esteem as a man and provider of the family has been dealt a huge blow now that I've become the sole breadwinner. We have 3 kids. He had been a Human Resource Manager prior to his jobless state and has been searching in vain for the same position and even same pay. Many people have told him and me to tell him to adjust his expectations, etc. but the outcome is still the same. Hubby is approaching 50yo soon.

Please reply only if you have any recommendations or openings for an HR manager/director post. I thank any kind souls in advance.

 

[gladjo]

Hi darlingbabe

Sorry to hear your plight but what you husband is going through is what alot - baby boomers are going through. So the situation is not him per se. I had many friends MBA with no jobs also and one is even a Presidential Scholar. All of them have family & kids too.

Just bear with him while he tries to figure out to get employment. You can help lessen his burden by doing your part to bring in the bread. When my sis hubby was retrenched in SIA, he cannot accept it because he was a Director and he is used to firing and hiring people. It was hard times and like every wife, my sis took 2 jobs to help the family income. Though he couldn't get the similar position, he finally accepted the economy isn't what it used to be and the higher you climb the harder your fall, sad to say. He went into a period of depression and became abusive even. So, these kinda of situation do happen to every one of us. My brother in law is out of depression having accepted himself and seek any job that comes. He's a happier man now though he's isn't some big shot Director and he don't shun away from his ex colleagues when he meets them outside nowadays.

So, provide him the encouragement...it's difficult but it's riding the waves of life and we have to accept and make the best of it.

God Bless

Gladjo

 

[Eppy]

Yes, Going thru change is difficult. It teaches us humility and that we are not bounded by a TITLE of a company that defines us. He needs to go out and get a job any job to keep him occupied first. Your encouragement is impt.

Take care its going to be a long road

 

[Sky1980]

to be honest, with your husband age, i think he will have problem to get a job even with 50% pay cut. This is the nature of the employment market in Singapore. The only thing he can do now is to change to another career or start his own biz if he can. If he is not a risk taker, then you can consider to drive UBER or taxi. Let go of ego then he can get a new life.

 

[darlingbabe]

Hi darlingbabe

Sorry to hear your plight but what you husband is going through is what alot - baby boomers are going through. So the situation is not him per se. I had many friends MBA with no jobs also and one is even a Presidential Scholar. All of them have family & kids too.

Just bear with him while he tries to figure out to get employment. You can help lessen his burden by doing your part to bring in the bread. When my sis hubby was retrenched in SIA, he cannot accept it because he was a Director and he is used to firing and hiring people. It was hard times and like every wife, my sis took 2 jobs to help the family income. Though he couldn't get the similar position, he finally accepted the economy isn't what it used to be and the higher you climb the harder your fall, sad to say. He went into a period of depression and became abusive even. So, these kinda of situation do happen to every one of us. My brother in law is out of depression having accepted himself and seek any job that comes. He's a happier man now though he's isn't some big shot Director and he don't shun away from his ex colleagues when he meets them outside nowadays.

So, provide him the encouragement...it's difficult but it's riding the waves of life and we have to accept and make the best of it.

God Bless

Gladjo

Dear Gladjo,

I really appreciate your encouragement and words of wisdom ))

I’m still holding on well and depending on God’s strength, not my own. Really appreciate your kindness and care

 

[wl08ms]

Hubby has been out of a job for 3 years now and has started showing signs of depression, panic attack, and health problems....

I am a father of 3. 5 years ago, I was out of job for 1 year. During this period, I sent countless resumes. I took up many parttime jobs. I paid to attend professional course. I also started a small business that move slowly. My wife was too busy and achieved well in her career. We hardly had any couple kind of talk. I was not in the mood either, I became very unfriendly and emotionless. I avoided most gatherings. I couldnt find any close person to seek help or talk to. I almost fell into depression. She had probably forgotten about me. I began to grow hatred towards her. 1 year later, I found a job.

You have been doing great so far. I wish my wife was like you. Because, this is the moment a relationship is being tested.

 

[darlingbabe]

Thanks for your encouragement. Really need it at such a time like this.
He’s eating soft rice now and seems contented to be jobless. I wish he is more ambitious. You’re right. This is a test of e relationship but my children help me to move on n not be too affected although I am pretty much affected

 

[Anto_Pats]

Thanks for your encouragement. Really need it at such a time like this.
He’s eating soft rice now and seems contented to be jobless. I wish he is more ambitious. You’re right. This is a test of e relationship but my children help me to move on n not be too affected although I am pretty much affected

Hang in there, you're stronger than you know.

 

[lovely0315]

Be strong sis... God has His plan.. continue to pray for him, I believe one day, he will fly up again like an eagle.

 

[Eggscatcher]

Stay strong, just grab any chance it comes....u are not alone, we faces many challenges in SG working society....