I have used up my savings because of new home appliances and quitted my job for almost 2 years to look after my younger child. I wanted to divorce because my husband said I didn’t contribute in terms of monies n I’m not good. He always ask me to leave if I’m not happy. Sometimes he will verbal abuse. I want to bring my 2 kids with me. But I don’t have the money to ask for divorce because I know that contestable will need a lot of money. Anyone advise or share their experience here? TIA
I want to divorce but no more savings... how?
- Thread starter miababy
- Start date
Chubbybaby2
Member
Talk things out dear. Your children are still very young. Maybe he is not in the good mood when he has been contributing monetarily and the weight is on his shoulders. If you bring 2 kids with you without money, it will be a struggle for yourself and the kids. Any chance that you will want to go back to the workforce?
I just back to workforce for 9mths now. We have married for almost 10years. If I don’t divorce is even struggle because he always think that I never contribute in term of monetary. But i am the one take care of my kids all the time.
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You are back to workforce n no money? how can that be? May i know your definition of no money?
I have income but not savings. I’m slowly building up and is not enough yet because I just back to workforce 9mths only as of now. I read from here divorce need at least 15-20k if contest.
Is not out of anger n emotions. How would you feel and react when you living with someone that do not know how to appreciate but rather belittle you?=)
He already said he will contest. What is your definition of “reasonable”??
Ok very simple. How much you earn? How much he earns? How much he wants you to contribute?
What did he say to make you feel small? Be specific state example.
What does he want to contest? Child? Care n control ? or what? People who never went thru a divorce, thinks that they can contest the sky n the moon.
If you feel you have no money now, after divorce, you will feel MORE of this “no money”.
Over here in this forum, we read stories of adulteries, physical abuses, debts n that’s why we will tell them to leave n yet some can still stay for the sake of love.
You really need to think hard whether is divorce really what you want. If it’s what you want, then don’t think of money. Cuz to a single mother, we always feel we don’t have enough money and yet we can still go on.
Unless you are rushing to remarry, if not, stay rational. Don't let anger rule over your head.
Yes, u can D. The issue here is when you should D.
Since u are already in this sh*t, soldier on until u are stable in your job and have a saving.
It's tough, I understand. But u wan the last laugh. Hence, take it as a sacrifice to road of freedom. Your kid and yourself will thank u for that.
Unless those who drum u to D are feeding u later. If not, maintain a cool mind. U are 'weak' now, hence don't ruffle the husband's fur (by engaging the D topic). Fight only when u r stronger.
As for dealing w the husband, stay assertive and rational. Since you are financially able, walk away from his nonsense and only listen when necessary.
Yes, u can D. The issue here is when you should D.
Since u are already in this sh*t, soldier on until u are stable in your job and have a saving.
It's tough, I understand. But u wan the last laugh. Hence, take it as a sacrifice to road of freedom. Your kid and yourself will thank u for that.
Unless those who drum u to D are feeding u later. If not, maintain a cool mind. U are 'weak' now, hence don't ruffle the husband's fur (by engaging the D topic). Fight only when u r stronger.
As for dealing w the husband, stay assertive and rational. Since you are financially able, walk away from his nonsense and only listen when necessary.
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Contested divorce don't required 15-20k. Probably 3k be enough. Unless uncontested whereby it may go up to 20k or more.
If you have low income, can go legal aid bureau for help.
wendy_reborn
Active Member
Contested cost more than uncontested
If just about 'not contribute in terms of monies' and going for divorce, I think not really necessary. Moreover, it's not even allowed (I think) as you did not meet either one of the 4/5 divorce conditions. So probably you can only file for separation.
But then again, as you have not been working for past 2 years, your hubby should know that that's the reason for you not being to contribute what. If you aren't working, how to contribute? Unsure why now then he said such... In my pov, is just an 'excuse'...
Chubbybaby2
Member
Since you are working now, you are contributing right? Why is he saying that you are not? Do you help out with household expenses? Look on the bright side, at least your Husband did not cheat on you like mine, when I was heavily pregnant with 2nd child. After all that I have sacrificed.....
Eggscatcher
Active Member
Be positive, mayb he too stress in financial aspects n he wish u to be more engaged in his problem...think of the bigger picture and ask him dont be petty in small issues...go thru thick n thin as afamily...
Eggscatcher
Active Member
Be positive, mayb he too stress in financial aspects n he wish u to be more engaged in his problem...think of the bigger picture and ask him dont be petty in small issues...go thru thick n thin as afamily...
jayjayqueenie
Active Member
after divorce where are u going to live ?
Maids Employer
New Member
Are there other reasons besides his belittling? Is there any love left between both of you or the marriage is bored, going downhill and you are burnt out? Why don't both of you go for family counselling 1st to save the marriage since your kids are still young. It might be traumatic for their growing up. I believe many HDB precincts have a Family Counselling service which is not expensive. If this doesn't work out then go for divorce.....pro bono lawyers advice is free.