Support group - Miscarriages


purplepancakes said:
Hi all,

I would like to share my recent miscarriage experience. I’m currently under 30 and this is my first pregnancy. I lost my baby girl at Week 18+ due to a condition called PPROM (Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes) which resulted in a huge loss of amniotic fluid. My gynae said such things are spontaneous and it does happen but I have not been able to find much closure to this.

I had a very smooth sailing first trimester with barely any morning sickness and no form of spotting. However the moment I reached Week 15, I experienced spotting. Went for my routine gynae check up and he found a small polyp just right out my cervix and my gynae suggested to remove the polyp if not I will face constant spotting. I proceeded with the removal as advised by my gynae. However my bleeding didn’t stop even after the removal. I went back for a follow up visit in Week 16 and gynae applied some medication/stopping of blood and explained that the cervix is extremely sensitive during pregnancy and there is some bleeding caused whenever there’s pressure to the cervix.

The bleeding did reduced a little but there was still some form of spotting. I was told to monitor this for a bit more as the spotting was little. It was only during Week 17 to early Week 18 did I experience more intense spotting (from dark brown to pink). There was also 1 day in Week 18 that I experienced a huge gush of uncontrollable pee that escalated to blood on the pad. I ended up going to A&E and my gynae found that the leak was not pee but amniotic fluid. I knew this was the start of something unfortunate as it is not normal for one to experience something like that.

Throughout the entire pregnancy, I have avoided strenuous exercise, avoided uncooked food, alcohol and taken all my vitamins regularly. Thus I do not understand why this has to happen. I did ask the gynae whether it’s because I have an incompetent cervix but he said it isn’t the case from all the scans. The only reason I can think of was the removal of cervical polyp that led to this miscarriage but I also trusted my gynae would have made the right medical judgement call in asking me to remove the polyp. I have never once doubted my gynae throughout all my check ups with him but I just cannot help but wonder now if the cervical polyp removal caused the PPROM to happen.

I’m currently doing confinement now and hoping to try for another kid as soon as my body is well enough again. I’m not sure if I should go back to my gynae or is there any high risk gynae that any mums recommend who have dealt with PPROM before? Would really appreciate any recommendations or any advice. Thank you for reading.
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I had PPROM during CNY. She was 28+4 that time. I miss her so much
So far no one can give me a firm answer what it caused me PPROM.I thought she is my rainbow baby. End up is another episode of grieves.
 
Hi everyone, i conceived via ivf but found out at the recent u/s that there was no fetal heartbeat. Doc said that the pregnancy was not viable and is a miscarriage and gave the option to clear the uterus either via pills or d&c. Any advice on which as it seems that both has its pros and cons and im unsure which to opt for. Thanks in advance!
 
Hi ladies anyone experienced preterm premature rupture of membranes before ? My water bag burst at week 17+6 and babies were gone that night after womb contracting started. While waiting for placenta and bacteria test results, I'm wondering what could have caused the rupture? Is it weak womb as I have history of bleeding, with an episode of heavy bleeding during week 9? I have a pair of twins via ivf and did amnio just a week before the rupture. I was told my the hospital it's unlikely due to amnio..
 
beconstance said:
I had PPROM during CNY. She was 28+4 that time. I miss her so much
So far no one can give me a firm answer what it caused me PPROM.I thought she is my rainbow baby. End up is another episode of grieves.
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I have PPROM at week 17+6. Did Amnio on week 17 but was told it shouldn't be the cause of the rupture. I have contraction the same night which was not within my expectation. I thought I can hold on my babies so long I get bed rested and get the antibiotic drip. I was only administered with the drip at 6Pm+, warded in noon, leaked at 930am. During the scan bb hb were ok and the gynae can still see the membrane. Hence I was puzzled why my womb started contracting so fast.. this is my second failed pregnancy , lost 4 babies. Each time due to new reasons.
 
I chance upon this title when im searching for no period after Miscarriage. Was hoping if anyone ever experience what im experiencing right now.. Im quite worried, i miscarriage at 5 weeks on 19 july and havent got my period since.. Up till today.. I use hpt last few weeks and its showing negative.. Is this normal?

Appreciate and thanks in advance if anyone have an answer for this!
 
Hi ladies, i would like to share my experience as i dont wish to speak abt this to my family or friends.. i just had my missed abortion last sat. 2909. It will always be a pain and memorable day for me.. my fetus by right shld be 10 weeks old but gynae say baby has stop growing at 8 weeks and i exp mild bleeding .. doc give me 1 week mc to bedrest at home.. told my mil and she so panic insist on getting a revisit to the gynae 2 days later.. she cant wait til 1 week for me to bedrest. So 2 days later went to see gynae and doc say fetus still no hb and is shrinkin to 7 weeeks.. say hav to do d&c the next day. I was crying the whole nite sleepless nite cos i cant bear to leave or believe this thing is happening to me.. next day done d&c bt feelin v emotional still.. today is the 3rd day of recovery, but i miss the bump n feel so empty rite now.. i cant think straight i feel so sad whenever ppl talk abt it..
 
yannong said:
Hi ladies, i would like to share my experience as i dont wish to speak abt this to my family or friends.. i just had my missed abortion last sat. 2909. It will always be a pain and memorable day for me.. my fetus by right shld be 10 weeks old but gynae say baby has stop growing at 8 weeks and i exp mild bleeding .. doc give me 1 week mc to bedrest at home.. told my mil and she so panic insist on getting a revisit to the gynae 2 days later.. she cant wait til 1 week for me to bedrest. So 2 days later went to see gynae and doc say fetus still no hb and is shrinkin to 7 weeeks.. say hav to do d&c the next day. I was crying the whole nite sleepless nite cos i cant bear to leave or believe this thing is happening to me.. next day done d&c bt feelin v emotional still.. today is the 3rd day of recovery, but i miss the bump n feel so empty rite now.. i cant think straight i feel so sad whenever ppl talk abt it..
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I can relate to how u feel.. Don be disheartened over this.. It may take some time to heal.. But i believe, god take away somethings from you and replace with something/someone better.. Chin up girl! Easy said than done.. But time heals
 
sunflower307 said:
My gynae was in NUH at that time, i think they will entertain.
You can call NUH pharmacy to check if they will allow u to purchase.

I know Dr Sheila only visit NUH once a month but not sure if she still do it.
I am preggy with my #2 now and will start taking clexane again, i am with NUH subsided this round.
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Hi, did Dr Sheila recommend to start Clexane before FET, On FET or at pregnancy confirmation day ?
 
Just want to encourage everyone in this thread with losses to journey on... someone send me a message from the forum and I thought I will peeped in

I graduated from this thread when I finally birth my girl who is all of 6 today. I went on to have 2 more kids -3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl.

Battle scars - 4 miscarriages in total with 5 fetal losses : That is what I have to write everytime I have to write for ward admittance for deliveries

My story in short - lots of intervention with NUH (my eternal gratitude to AP Mahesh/ Dr Anita and Dr Sheila )and went through IVIG every 4 weeks when I was pregnant and 1 very expensive experience to witness the live birth as the cost was too high in my opinion but well worth... MY journey took me about 4 years of constant reading/ D&C and never give up attitude before I had a live birth. I tried TCM for 2 years but really nothing really work until I went to NUH. I was also a little lucky skipping IVF because I could get pregnant although not easily but again it was really tip of the iceberg.

MY advise is seek intervention and find out. Never blame yourself for what happen - you were chosen only because you are stonger. Persist and journey on my fellow comarades. When the going get tough sit back and take a break. I am only sad for us that we were robbed of the pregnancy innocence where other pregnant ladies pleasantly enjoy their pregnancies while we live in constant fear until we pop.
 
yannong said:
Hi ladies, i would like to share my experience as i dont wish to speak abt this to my family or friends.. i just had my missed abortion last sat. 2909. It will always be a pain and memorable day for me.. my fetus by right shld be 10 weeks old but gynae say baby has stop growing at 8 weeks and i exp mild bleeding .. doc give me 1 week mc to bedrest at home.. told my mil and she so panic insist on getting a revisit to the gynae 2 days later.. she cant wait til 1 week for me to bedrest. So 2 days later went to see gynae and doc say fetus still no hb and is shrinkin to 7 weeeks.. say hav to do d&c the next day. I was crying the whole nite sleepless nite cos i cant bear to leave or believe this thing is happening to me.. next day done d&c bt feelin v emotional still.. today is the 3rd day of recovery, but i miss the bump n feel so empty rite now.. i cant think straight i feel so sad whenever ppl talk abt it..
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Hugs. Do a gd confinement and bring up yr health ago. Our rainbow baby will come soon
 
Hi all.. i had a mc earlier this year but till now, it's hard for me to move on. I know all the logical thoughts but i cant help but think of how different things will be if my baby had survived.. how do you all cope... what helped u all move on?
 
kissryl said:
Hi all.. i had a mc earlier this year but till now, it's hard for me to move on. I know all the logical thoughts but i cant help but think of how different things will be if my baby had survived.. how do you all cope... what helped u all move on?
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I'm so sorry to hear about your loss kissryl, and sorry to hear that it's been hard for you to move on ): Can probably understand a part of how you feel, as we all experience our losses differently... I just had an m/c exactly a week ago from today, and it's been really really tough... I do think about all the what-ifs too, like what if it hadn't happened, what if I was still looking forward to having my baby, all those questions. But whenever I can, I try not to dwell on the what-ifs for too long (after I have a good cry and let it all out whenever the waves of sadness hit) and try to look forward... Lots of hugs for you. How are you feeling this week?
 
Hi ladies, I'm new to this forum thread. I guess no one wants to be in a thread for those who've had miscarriages, but well... I'm glad I found this though, I've found reading all your posts and replies really encouraging, and I guess those who haven't been through it don't quite understand so it's hard to talk about it...

I had an m/c at week 5 exactly a week ago from today (conceived via IVF), and I'm wondering how long will it take for my period to come back. Is there anyone who's had a similar experience (either conceived via IVF or not) and when did you get your period again?

For anyone who conceived via IVF and had an m/c, how long did you have to wait before starting on a fresh IVF egg retrieval cycle? (It was my second FET and I've no more embryos left, so I'll have to do an egg retrieval cycle next round)

Thanks!
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
Hi ladies, I'm new to this forum thread. I guess no one wants to be in a thread for those who've had miscarriages, but well... I'm glad I found this though, I've found reading all your posts and replies really encouraging, and I guess those who haven't been through it don't quite understand so it's hard to talk about it...

I had an m/c at week 5 exactly a week ago from today (conceived via IVF), and I'm wondering how long will it take for my period to come back. Is there anyone who's had a similar experience (either conceived via IVF or not) and when did you get your period again?

For anyone who conceived via IVF and had an m/c, how long did you have to wait before starting on a fresh IVF egg retrieval cycle? (It was my second FET and I've no more embryos left, so I'll have to do an egg retrieval cycle next round)

Thanks!
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My baby stopped developing at 8 weeks, so I had medical abortion 10 days ago, until now have been spotting, also wondering when it will stop and when next mences come. Prof Wong said we wait for 3 mences and after that can start second fresh, it seems will be March cycle.
In March’18 was my first fresh ended with chemical pregnancy, hcg was 172 on day 14dt5d, but miracle didn’t happen. In September was FET with promising beginning, but bad end.
After all of this happened my hubby agree to take any kind of fertility supplements.
Really thinking about PGS next time if I will be lucky to have more than 3 blastocyst. Totally wasted 2018 and I’m 41 y.o. now.
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
Hi ladies, I'm new to this forum thread. I guess no one wants to be in a thread for those who've had miscarriages, but well... I'm glad I found this though, I've found reading all your posts and replies really encouraging, and I guess those who haven't been through it don't quite understand so it's hard to talk about it...

I had an m/c at week 5 exactly a week ago from today (conceived via IVF), and I'm wondering how long will it take for my period to come back. Is there anyone who's had a similar experience (either conceived via IVF or not) and when did you get your period again?

For anyone who conceived via IVF and had an m/c, how long did you have to wait before starting on a fresh IVF egg retrieval cycle? (It was my second FET and I've no more embryos left, so I'll have to do an egg retrieval cycle next round)

Thanks!
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Hi dear, I had a similar experience last year except that it happened at week 6/7. Doc told me menses should come after 6-8 weeks and it came 8 weeks after d/c in my case.

If you’re doing fresh cycle, I think good to let your body rest for at least 3 months before starting again. It’s natural to want to try as soon as possible but I feel the stimulants and ER procedure do affect our body somehow so good to recover well and build it up again before giving it another go.

Take care and jiayou!
 
Alishablond said:
My baby stopped developing at 8 weeks, so I had medical abortion 10 days ago, until now have been spotting, also wondering when it will stop and when next mences come. Prof Wong said we wait for 3 mences and after that can start second fresh, it seems will be March cycle.
In March’18 was my first fresh ended with chemical pregnancy, hcg was 172 on day 14dt5d, but miracle didn’t happen. In September was FET with promising beginning, but bad end.
After all of this happened my hubby agree to take any kind of fertility supplements.
Really thinking about PGS next time if I will be lucky to have more than 3 blastocyst. Totally wasted 2018 and I’m 41 y.o. now.
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Thanks so much for sharing your experience...I'm so sorry for your losses ): It must be so disappointing after taking so long to get to where you did, with the BFPs at last and how they subsequently didn't work out ): I did two transfers this year too, with 3 blastocysts also. First one with one embryo that didn't implant, the second one with two only one implanted and then it didn't stick ): Hopefully 2019 will be a better year for us!
 
miloqueen said:
Hi dear, I had a similar experience last year except that it happened at week 6/7. Doc told me menses should come after 6-8 weeks and it came 8 weeks after d/c in my case.

If you’re doing fresh cycle, I think good to let your body rest for at least 3 months before starting again. It’s natural to want to try as soon as possible but I feel the stimulants and ER procedure do affect our body somehow so good to recover well and build it up again before giving it another go.

Take care and jiayou!
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Thanks so much for sharing your experience too, it does give me a better idea of when my period might come back. So sorry to hear about your loss last year ): Hope you're feeling better now...

Yeah three months feels like a really, really long time to have to wait to try again. But I guess you're right, the body needs time to heal and starting the jabs and all for the ER will be quite taxing for the body...I have an appointment with my doctor next week, so I guess we'll see what she advises.

Did you have to wait three months for another go too? And was it successful after that?

After the m/c last week, there was no more blood, but then yesterday it started again, and today too. Quite heavy. I'm wondering is it my period coming really really early, or is the body flushing the rest of the blood clots out...
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
Thanks so much for sharing your experience too, it does give me a better idea of when my period might come back. So sorry to hear about your loss last year ): Hope you're feeling better now...

Yeah three months feels like a really, really long time to have to wait to try again. But I guess you're right, the body needs time to heal and starting the jabs and all for the ER will be quite taxing for the body...I have an appointment with my doctor next week, so I guess we'll see what she advises.

Did you have to wait three months for another go too? And was it successful after that?

After the m/c last week, there was no more blood, but then yesterday it started again, and today too. Quite heavy. I'm wondering is it my period coming really really early, or is the body flushing the rest of the blood clots out...
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Nope haven’t won my prize yet still on the journey. I did another FET 6 months later but it was not successful. I left things for awhile and in b/w doc suggested hysterscopy to check that uterus is ok and just went on another fresh cycle. :)

It sounds more like the body is expelling “old blood” than new round of AF to me. Were you prescribed any medication e.g cytotec or misoprostol for the m/c? If you haven’t done any scan since last week, doc will probably have to do so in the coming review to ensure it is complete. In my case, I had some tissues left in the uterus and had to resort to d/c.
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
Thanks so much for sharing your experience...I'm so sorry for your losses ): It must be so disappointing after taking so long to get to where you did, with the BFPs at last and how they subsequently didn't work out ): I did two transfers this year too, with 3 blastocysts also. First one with one embryo that didn't implant, the second one with two only one implanted and then it didn't stick ): Hopefully 2019 will be a better year for us!
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Just curious, do you know the grading of the 2 blastocysts that were transferred at the same time? There are mixed reviews regarding transferring 2 and this is always one big question when it comes to ET. Some prefer sticking to 1 at a time while others would go with 2 to up chances.
 
Had a earlier miscarriage in April this year and now I'm going through another one. I have lost this 2nd pregnancy at week 8 - 9 with the diagnose of blighted ovum. No yolk sac and fetal pole and the sac is measuring at 5 weeks plus which is suppose to be at week 7 or 8. Went for a 2nd opinion and the gynae confirmed that it is blighted ovum and given me two options, D&C or let nature take its course.

My body decided to react and the whole bleeding process started yesterday evening. I had yet to see a gynae as my gynae is currently overseas and will only be back on 22nd Nov. Not sure should I wait till then or to go KKH to scan and check to ensure I have pass out everything. Any suggestion ladies?
 
Daze1 said:
Had a earlier miscarriage in April this year and now I'm going through another one. I have lost this 2nd pregnancy at week 8 - 9 with the diagnose of blighted ovum. No yolk sac and fetal pole and the sac is measuring at 5 weeks plus which is suppose to be at week 7 or 8. Went for a 2nd opinion and the gynae confirmed that it is blighted ovum and given me two options, D&C or let nature take its course.

My body decided to react and the whole bleeding process started yesterday evening. I had yet to see a gynae as my gynae is currently overseas and will only be back on 22nd Nov. Not sure should I wait till then or to go KKH to scan and check to ensure I have pass out everything. Any suggestion ladies?
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Sorry for the loss and hope next pregnancy will be alright for everyone of us...

How is the bleeding so far? Heavy or not much? My gynae gave me to bleed all out in a week b4 back to check my womb n uterus a month later... Mbe u can go c ur gynae next week when not much bleeding...
 
Hi Give a hope,

I guess the bleeding is not very heavy today but I've been lying down most of the time so not sure is that the reason that it did not flow as much.
Ya I guess probably I shall see him when he is back then.
Thanks ya!
 
miloqueen said:
Nope haven’t won my prize yet still on the journey. I did another FET 6 months later but it was not successful. I left things for awhile and in b/w doc suggested hysterscopy to check that uterus is ok and just went on another fresh cycle. :)

It sounds more like the body is expelling “old blood” than new round of AF to me. Were you prescribed any medication e.g cytotec or misoprostol for the m/c? If you haven’t done any scan since last week, doc will probably have to do so in the coming review to ensure it is complete. In my case, I had some tissues left in the uterus and had to resort to d/c.
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Really hope this fresh cycle that you're starting on will work :) Can imagine how frustrating it must feel after so long...I certainly feel this way! If you don't mind me asking, how many fresh cycles and FETs have you done so far?

Nope I wasn't prescribed any medication for my m/c. My doctor did a scan for me two days after the m/c and she said most of it came out and she thinks whatever little was left inside will likely come out by itself. So I have a blood test tomorrow to see if my HCG levels are down to zero and a scan this Weds to see if it's all clear.
 
miloqueen said:
Just curious, do you know the grading of the 2 blastocysts that were transferred at the same time? There are mixed reviews regarding transferring 2 and this is always one big question when it comes to ET. Some prefer sticking to 1 at a time while others would go with 2 to up chances.
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I think their grading was 'average' at the time that they were frozen, but my doctor didn't mention the grade again when they were transferred. So I'm not sure if they're grading changed or they remain as they same grading as when they were frozen. They were both Day 6 blastocysts though, so a bit slow-growing. Sigh, maybe that was the issue... One was an early blastocyst and one was an expanded blastocyst. The scan showed only one sac before the m/c, so I think it was, in a sense, a good decision to transfer both in my case as the early blastocyst probably didn't implant at all and the expanded blastocyst was the one that I m/c-ed.

What were the grading of your blastocysts and have you always transferred just one or two?
 
Daze1 said:
Had a earlier miscarriage in April this year and now I'm going through another one. I have lost this 2nd pregnancy at week 8 - 9 with the diagnose of blighted ovum. No yolk sac and fetal pole and the sac is measuring at 5 weeks plus which is suppose to be at week 7 or 8. Went for a 2nd opinion and the gynae confirmed that it is blighted ovum and given me two options, D&C or let nature take its course.

My body decided to react and the whole bleeding process started yesterday evening. I had yet to see a gynae as my gynae is currently overseas and will only be back on 22nd Nov. Not sure should I wait till then or to go KKH to scan and check to ensure I have pass out everything. Any suggestion ladies?
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So sorry to hear about both your miscarriages ): It must be so heartbreaking for you to have to go through another one ): I agree with Give a hope to go see your gynae when she's back (hopefully can get an earlier appt if you're anxious about it? Just for peace of mind). It's probably the uterus clearing out the m/c so the bleeding is normal. But if you're having bad cramps and discharge/blood that doesn't look so normal it's probably best to get it checked out asap.

Lots of hugs for you...rest well.
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
So sorry to hear about both your miscarriages ): It must be so heartbreaking for you to have to go through another one ): I agree with Give a hope to go see your gynae when she's back (hopefully can get an earlier appt if you're anxious about it? Just for peace of mind). It's probably the uterus clearing out the m/c so the bleeding is normal. But if you're having bad cramps and discharge/blood that doesn't look so normal it's probably best to get it checked out asap.

Lots of hugs for you...rest well.
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Thank you CatsInTheClouds!
Yes I have requested to see my gynae the moment he is back. Seriously part of me can't wait to try again BUT I'm so afraid of another failure.

Really hope things will be better in 2019!
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
So sorry to hear about both your miscarriages ): It must be so heartbreaking for you to have to go through another one ): I agree with Give a hope to go see your gynae when she's back (hopefully can get an earlier appt if you're anxious about it? Just for peace of mind). It's probably the uterus clearing out the m/c so the bleeding is normal. But if you're having bad cramps and discharge/blood that doesn't look so normal it's probably best to get it checked out asap.

Lots of hugs for you...rest well.
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Thank you CatsInTheClouds!
Yes I have requested to see my gynae the moment he is back. Seriously part of me can't wait to try again BUT I'm so afraid of another failure.

Really hope things will be better in 2019!
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
Really hope this fresh cycle that you're starting on will work :) Can imagine how frustrating it must feel after so long...I certainly feel this way! If you don't mind me asking, how many fresh cycles and FETs have you done so far?

Nope I wasn't prescribed any medication for my m/c. My doctor did a scan for me two days after the m/c and she said most of it came out and she thinks whatever little was left inside will likely come out by itself. So I have a blood test tomorrow to see if my HCG levels are down to zero and a scan this Weds to see if it's all clear.
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Thanks gal! I’ve already done 2 fresh and 2 FET really hope to be blessed with a healthy baby soon.

I chose to transfer only 1 embryo (average grading) for the recent cycles so now considering if I should go for 2 if I am able to do so. Don’t mind having twins but then again, there is much more to worry about with multiple pregnancies.

Good that you’re scheduled for another blood test/ scan on Wed. All the best to you and do take this time to rest well and recover fully.
 
miloqueen said:
Thanks gal! I’ve already done 2 fresh and 2 FET really hope to be blessed with a healthy baby soon.

I chose to transfer only 1 embryo (average grading) for the recent cycles so now considering if I should go for 2 if I am able to do so. Don’t mind having twins but then again, there is much more to worry about with multiple pregnancies.

Good that you’re scheduled for another blood test/ scan on Wed. All the best to you and do take this time to rest well and recover fully.
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Thanks for sharing, really hope you'll be able to be on your way to having a healthy baby soon, and all of us here too! I guess for me, I feel that having twins is better than having none.

Do you (or anyone else here!) ever feel guilty about the m/c? Sometimes I tell my husband that the next time we have a sticky been I'm going to like, not move around so much. Even though I know from all the articles online I've read that early m/cs are usually due to genetic/chromosomal issues and there's just almost no way to prevent the m/c from happening. But still. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have moved around so much and all...
 
Also, what do you girls do when people have been insensitive to you, with or without realising it? Sorry I just need to have a rant here because there's hardly anywhere else I can say it and I just need to let it out rather than keeping it bottled inside me.

Almost every time my husband and I have dinner with my in-laws, my brother-in-law's girlfriend will somehow find some way to mention about how cute her 7-month-old niece is, and want to show everyone pictures on her phone. It always has been hard for me, especially since we've been trying quite a long time already and with all the failed IUIs and IVFs, but last night it was just unbearable, especially since my m/c was only two weeks ago. I almost cried at the restaurant, and already started tearing up a bit, but had to do all I can to hold it in. It was such an awkward situation for me because nobody there knew about the m/c. My father-in-law (FIL) knows about our fertility treatments, but my husband hadn't had the chance to tell him about the pregnancy and then the m/c. My mom-in-law had passed away a few years earlier and last night's dinner was the first time he brought this new lady he's seeing to meet us. My brother-in-law doesn't know anything cus my husband and I feel there's no need to tell him, so his girlfriend obviously doesn't know cus they just got together not too long ago and I don't know her very well.

I think if it were with my own family who knows everything I would have just cried and let it all out and felt better afterwards, but because of this awkward situation, I just had to smile and bear with it and continue to make conversation throughout the whole of dinner. And then now every time I see my brother-in-laws's girlfriend I just feel a bit bitter towards her and dread that she's going to bring the topic up again. I know it's not her fault and she doesn't know and all, but I still can't help the way I feel...

And then I often feel this bitterness towards people like her because I used to be super excited about playing with other people's babies and kids because I like children and felt that someday I'm going to have my own, and there's that wonderful feeling of the possibility of having children when my husband and I decide that it's time to try for them. But after dealing with infertility, and going in and out of the hospital for tests and IUIs and IVFs and with this m/c, I feel like this fairytale feeling has been shattered. So when i encounter people like my brother-in-law's girlfriend, or newlyweds, or people who have no problems conceiving, who have no idea how hard or how heartbreaking the journey can be because they haven't taken a step into our world, I feel this sense of bitterness and think in my head, 'Omg, you just have no idea, do you.'

Sorry for being such a downer here. I just need to know that I'm not the only one who is feeling/has felt like this before, and if you've ever had a similar encounter, please feel free to share too. And it'd be great to know how you managed to get over/get past difficult/painful moments like these...
 
Daze1 said:
Hi Give a hope,

I guess the bleeding is not very heavy today but I've been lying down most of the time so not sure is that the reason that it did not flow as much.
Ya I guess probably I shall see him when he is back then.
Thanks ya!
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Ya...but if sometimes bleeding is to clean internally also...

Hope u have seem ur gynae n everything is alright :)
 
Daze1 said:
Thank you CatsInTheClouds!
Yes I have requested to see my gynae the moment he is back. Seriously part of me can't wait to try again BUT I'm so afraid of another failure.

Really hope things will be better in 2019!
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I think everyone of us are the same...haha want to try but yet afraid of another failure...tbh it will be tjere even we r pregnant till we give birth n hold the bb in our arm we will still feel unreal that kind of feeling...

For now let's jiayou together... Yes we will get pregnant asap n be mummy in 2019... fingers crossed everything will be under control for our next pregnancy...
 
CatsInTheClouds said:
Also, what do you girls do when people have been insensitive to you, with or without realising it? Sorry I just need to have a rant here because there's hardly anywhere else I can say it and I just need to let it out rather than keeping it bottled inside me.

Almost every time my husband and I have dinner with my in-laws, my brother-in-law's girlfriend will somehow find some way to mention about how cute her 7-month-old niece is, and want to show everyone pictures on her phone. It always has been hard for me, especially since we've been trying quite a long time already and with all the failed IUIs and IVFs, but last night it was just unbearable, especially since my m/c was only two weeks ago. I almost cried at the restaurant, and already started tearing up a bit, but had to do all I can to hold it in. It was such an awkward situation for me because nobody there knew about the m/c. My father-in-law (FIL) knows about our fertility treatments, but my husband hadn't had the chance to tell him about the pregnancy and then the m/c. My mom-in-law had passed away a few years earlier and last night's dinner was the first time he brought this new lady he's seeing to meet us. My brother-in-law doesn't know anything cus my husband and I feel there's no need to tell him, so his girlfriend obviously doesn't know cus they just got together not too long ago and I don't know her very well.

I think if it were with my own family who knows everything I would have just cried and let it all out and felt better afterwards, but because of this awkward situation, I just had to smile and bear with it and continue to make conversation throughout the whole of dinner. And then now every time I see my brother-in-laws's girlfriend I just feel a bit bitter towards her and dread that she's going to bring the topic up again. I know it's not her fault and she doesn't know and all, but I still can't help the way I feel...

And then I often feel this bitterness towards people like her because I used to be super excited about playing with other people's babies and kids because I like children and felt that someday I'm going to have my own, and there's that wonderful feeling of the possibility of having children when my husband and I decide that it's time to try for them. But after dealing with infertility, and going in and out of the hospital for tests and IUIs and IVFs and with this m/c, I feel like this fairytale feeling has been shattered. So when i encounter people like my brother-in-law's girlfriend, or newlyweds, or people who have no problems conceiving, who have no idea how hard or how heartbreaking the journey can be because they haven't taken a step into our world, I feel this sense of bitterness and think in my head, 'Omg, you just have no idea, do you.'

Sorry for being such a downer here. I just need to know that I'm not the only one who is feeling/has felt like this before, and if you've ever had a similar encounter, please feel free to share too. And it'd be great to know how you managed to get over/get past difficult/painful moments like these...
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Hi dear... it’s normal to feel the way you do. I’ve been thru it, my bff has been thru it. We all have different ways of coping. My bff cut off Facebook (even till now she’s carrying her #2). I forced myself to make peace with it... there’s no single formula and as long as it works, there’s no right or wrong.

So I just share how I come to terms with it cause my bff’s way is rather straightforward - just cut off or minimize contact.

First up, I think ur bil’s gf is probably young(er) and probably don’t know what’s ahead of her. There is a chance that she may go thru the same later in life and she probably doesn’t know it yet. Of course she could be one of those who can conceive easily. That brings me to point 2.

When I moved to my new place, my neighbors were all new couples and they started conceiving one after another... at first I looked like the only one who couldn’t and the world felt so unfair. Then I got to know one of them is a cancer survivor. That’s when I realized that sometimes fairness is a perception. We all go thru different trials in life.

It may not help you like it helped me. So you can choose to take my bff’s method. Heck what ur in laws may think; get ur hubby to understand and condition them. Your sanity and peace of mind is most important in this journey.

I’m also an ivf patient and have a live birth thru the aid of ivf after a miscarriage (also conceived thru ivf). Looking back, I think infertility is a bitch and has messed around with our lives enough. Let’s not let it do more harm to ourselves than it has already done.

I sincerely hope your rainbow comes soon...
 
lux said:
Just want to encourage everyone in this thread with losses to journey on... someone send me a message from the forum and I thought I will peeped in

I graduated from this thread when I finally birth my girl who is all of 6 today. I went on to have 2 more kids -3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl.

Battle scars - 4 miscarriages in total with 5 fetal losses : That is what I have to write everytime I have to write for ward admittance for deliveries

My story in short - lots of intervention with NUH (my eternal gratitude to AP Mahesh/ Dr Anita and Dr Sheila )and went through IVIG every 4 weeks when I was pregnant and 1 very expensive experience to witness the live birth as the cost was too high in my opinion but well worth... MY journey took me about 4 years of constant reading/ D&C and never give up attitude before I had a live birth. I tried TCM for 2 years but really nothing really work until I went to NUH. I was also a little lucky skipping IVF because I could get pregnant although not easily but again it was really tip of the iceberg.

MY advise is seek intervention and find out. Never blame yourself for what happen - you were chosen only because you are stonger. Persist and journey on my fellow comarades. When the going get tough sit back and take a break. I am only sad for us that we were robbed of the pregnancy innocence where other pregnant ladies pleasantly enjoy their pregnancies while we live in constant fear until we pop.
Click to expand...


Hi lux,
It is so inspiring to hear your story. Thank you for ur words in encouraging! I had miscarriage April this year too. But I just discovered pregnant again yesterday. Would like to know if u know how do bcm a subsidized high risk patient at nuh? Do we need to tell the doctor in polyclinic for the recurrent miscarriage in order to be entitled under nuh high risk subsidized? And if is under subsidized nuh does it mean tht we cannot choose the doctor? Thank you for all the enquiries!
 
lux said:
Just want to encourage everyone in this thread with losses to journey on... someone send me a message from the forum and I thought I will peeped in

I graduated from this thread when I finally birth my girl who is all of 6 today. I went on to have 2 more kids -3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl.

Battle scars - 4 miscarriages in total with 5 fetal losses : That is what I have to write everytime I have to write for ward admittance for deliveries

My story in short - lots of intervention with NUH (my eternal gratitude to AP Mahesh/ Dr Anita and Dr Sheila )and went through IVIG every 4 weeks when I was pregnant and 1 very expensive experience to witness the live birth as the cost was too high in my opinion but well worth... MY journey took me about 4 years of constant reading/ D&C and never give up attitude before I had a live birth. I tried TCM for 2 years but really nothing really work until I went to NUH. I was also a little lucky skipping IVF because I could get pregnant although not easily but again it was really tip of the iceberg.

MY advise is seek intervention and find out. Never blame yourself for what happen - you were chosen only because you are stonger. Persist and journey on my fellow comarades. When the going get tough sit back and take a break. I am only sad for us that we were robbed of the pregnancy innocence where other pregnant ladies pleasantly enjoy their pregnancies while we live in constant fear until we pop.
Click to expand...


Hi lux,
It is so inspiring to hear your story. Thank you for ur words in encouraging! I had miscarriage April this year too. But I just discovered pregnant again yesterday. Would like to know if u know how do bcm a subsidized high risk patient at nuh? Do we need to tell the doctor in polyclinic for the recurrent miscarriage in order to be entitled under nuh high risk subsidized? And if is under subsidized nuh does it mean tht we cannot choose the doctor? Thank you for all the enquiries!
 
Sweet mummy said:
Hi lux,
It is so inspiring to hear your story. Thank you for ur words in encouraging! I had miscarriage April this year too. But I just discovered pregnant again yesterday. Would like to know if u know how do bcm a subsidized high risk patient at nuh? Do we need to tell the doctor in polyclinic for the recurrent miscarriage in order to be entitled under nuh high risk subsidized? And if is under subsidized nuh does it mean tht we cannot choose the doctor? Thank you for all the enquiries!
Click to expand...
Sorry for the lost and jiayou ur this pregnancy. Based on my understanding in order to be in high risk dept that would need to have 2 MC or more as one MC to them is normal. in order to go for subsidy u need to get referral letter from polyclinic and high risk dept u will usually seeing one or two same dr it is quite fix dr.
 
Piggyass86 said:
Hi, just wish to share abt my story too as i deeply miss him today and i have no one to talk to. I got a stillbirth too at last december @ wk 32, due to baby heartbeat stop. Like what you have mentioned, we still have to go thru the process of the whole labour, seeing out child in their complete body like a normal newborn baby. Due to my existing illness, i have not been ttc~ however still wish to get pregnancy yet phobia. Anyway, congrats to your pregnancy Had a smooth journey!!
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Hi I just suffered at mc at wk 30 and now need much support. I find it hard to move in although I know I should. How did u manage to? Love to learn from you.
 
I feel like crying when i read this thread. it's so so sad. nobody will ever know how it really feels, not even our husbands.
it's so scary to think about trying again.
 
Hi all

I am currently at my week 8 plus. I last had my scan a few days ago (also wk 8). It was a detailed scan at kkh because the dr felt that the growth of the embryo is too slow. The measurement for the fetal pole is 3mm. I was told by the person doing the scan that normally they can hear heartbeat even if it is 1mm. They cant hear mine even tho it is 3mm. She deems the pregnancy as not viable. Im due to see the Dr again next week for another scan. Anyone with similar situation? What will happen any sliver lining outcome to this or is this totally bad? I was asked by the dr to prepare for the worst.
 
Zcshop said:
Hi all

I am currently at my week 8 plus. I last had my scan a few days ago (also wk 8). It was a detailed scan at kkh because the dr felt that the growth of the embryo is too slow. The measurement for the fetal pole is 3mm. I was told by the person doing the scan that normally they can hear heartbeat even if it is 1mm. They cant hear mine even tho it is 3mm. She deems the pregnancy as not viable. Im due to see the Dr again next week for another scan. Anyone with similar situation? What will happen any sliver lining outcome to this or is this totally bad? I was asked by the dr to prepare for the worst.
Click to expand...
Hi sweetie, on 24 Oct 2018 my bb heartbeat stopped at wk 9 when my previous 2 scans showed fetus was growing & strong heartbeat. Its my first pregnancy & I am already in late 30s. To confirm its a missed miscarriage, my Gynae took my 2 blood tests 2 days a part to check if hormones level doubled up. Also I went thru the detail transvarginal scan (imaging) to detect any heartbeat. Conclusion - lost bb. Subsquently, I met my gf who also mc in mid Nov 2018. Her symptons were fetus not growing the size shld be at wk6. After 1 week when she went home & decided what to do next, her fetus grew only 1mm which was unhealthy. Heartbeat was fade & finally stopped on the day of her D&C procedure. She went thru the same blood test & scan before gg thru the procedure.

U may check with ur Gynae on the blood test to confirm if u are losing the pregnancy. If hormoes level went up, its a gd news. I know its not easy for u. Take 1 step at a time. Let ur gynae give u more results b4 deciding anythg. Pray u can press on & dun lost hope.
 

Last edited:

Hi all, Im 35 and I just MC on 28 Dec. Discovered blood when I wiped after urination twice and I went to see doc immediately. My baby was only 6mm with no heartbeat at 8 weeks. Doc said there is no hope for baby and I went for D&C on the same day. I was devasted but thinking that the earlier I recover, the earlier I can prepare my body again. I was waiting to tell everyone after the 12th week but I did not make it. There is nobody I can talk to but lucky I found this link. I have been reading the replies for the past 3 days and I just wish to share with all ladies here. Let's get stronger for our next healthy baby to come!
 
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