Mum hurling abuse at me

[Jel1992]

My mother has mentioned to me that she does not like my in-laws which include my sister-in-law. All these while, I just listen to her and try to think positively about her comments and stuff until recently. I'm due for delivery soon and my husband will be on 3 weeks reservist so my 22 months son will not be going to her place that often as I want to bring him around before I give birth which she agreed initially. However yesterday, she told me that my son has not been visiting her very often and she even mentioned that it's like that after all the sacrifice that she has done which is not true because my son will go to her place almost everyday. And also, I am going to order tingkat for my confinement and the one I choose happen to be used by my sister-in-law previously and my mum think that I order because of this and has been using this to condemn me. And to make things worst, yesterday she actually hurled abuse at me in one of the family chatgroup and say that I have been listening to my sister-in-law and she think I should go and eat shit. I had enough of all these accusations!

Anyone have similar experience? Care to share how you deal with it? I seriously think that my mum is super toxic

 

[radish1]

Hihi
Just ignore wat she say...dont take it in ur heart...see no evil...hear no evil..
If u think tat ur mum is over doing....send ur older one to cc....Infant send to babysitter...
Let the things settled before u go back to work.
Don't see daily might be better rather than conflict everytime u meet ur mum...
Give her sometimes to think...hope for the best...god bless...

 

[Jel1992]

Hihi
Just ignore wat she say...dont take it in ur heart...see no evil...hear no evil..
If u think tat ur mum is over doing....send ur older one to cc....Infant send to babysitter...
Let the things settled before u go back to work.
Don't see daily might be better rather than conflict everytime u meet ur mum...
Give her sometimes to think...hope for the best...god bless...

Thanks for the advice. If I send to childcare, she will say I don't trust her and if I don't go to her place, she will text me non-stop. There are times when I was taking a nap with my LO and she texted me asking for baby, and so I did not reply her msg immediately. She will say things like I'm very busy, i don't reply her msg and etc.. And if I tell her I'm out with my in-laws, she will say things like happy family etc... All these are driving me crazy. I never tell my husband as I don't want to affect him but right now, all these are affecting me and I feel so suffocated.

 

[jayjayqueenie]

sorry about your mother.
maybe you think about it another way.
she might be going through menopause so that's why she has got a lot of emotions.

and also a reminder that being filial can be in other ways and it does not mean giving in to her

dont be cruel to yourself. one day she will come around, just not so soon.

 

[Starrytwink]

Feel really sorry for you but I hope all is well for you and your kid. We can't choose who our mother is but we can decide how we want to treat her, and even though she may not have treated you well initially, you can choose the otherwise and maybe she will come around.

Wishing you all the best in your pregnancy