hate my father so much!

[harky]

I need some place to shout out load n make some complain and also vent!
I really hate my 70yr old father so much that I hope he can go heaven ASAP.
I know I should respect him that he gave me life. But he only fulfils half as the role of a father (e.g feed me & educated till 18.)

He is selfish, always think about himself. He's like living in his own world and never cares about family except outsider. Everyday see his fug up face, damn irresponsible behaviour at home, and delusional thinking make me want to argue with him or correct him.

He also very dirty and unhygienic. (e.g bathed like never bath as his body still oily) if not because my mom, whom like to be clean. The house will be mess up by him.

My mom had been tolerated him, and told us she thought of divorce him but due to she is not very educated and cant affords to support us at that time (me, my elder bro, my younger brother wasn’t born yet tht time) therefore she did not.

During my young age, I had a deep & stamped impressions where she makes my mom cry (but it too young for me to know what the full story is about). I hate him more since the day he argue with my mom and used violent. (She pushed my mom). During the argue, he will scold my mom and ask her to jump down from the flat to follow her passed mother; say my mother was born & teach without parents .

Sometime, when I nag too much, he will start to tell me not to follow my mom and I will argue with him. I don’t like him say something bad on my mom so in natural I talk back.

I think he getting horrible and make me hit him SOON. During one of my aunt (uncle wife) funeral, while I am having some chat with my aunt, he come over and KPO and make me annoying by talking soft on my ear and badmouth to me on my mom by saying my mom did not attend the funeral because she is taking care of my dog at home without knowing the fact is my mom is feeling unwell due to very bad toothache! You never see such an evil father doing that to his child .

This time round when we argue, he say I was born & teach without parents. Of cos, I reply I was born & teach without a father. Not only this, he also want to pick a fight with me ask me to beat him! (of cos I did not lay my hand dirty)

It abit hard for me to move out since I had not yet getting my own house and if I move out, my mom how? Not possible let him bully her. Even I had a one younger bro at home but he is an lazy bug, like a hikikomori , addict to pc game.

I really really hope one day he can just disappear. My mom and I would be so glad.

 

[xlad]

Hi i would advise u to just live nicely with him. I dunno abt ur religion but i believe this has got to do with previous life debts owed to ur dad. Live nicely with him this life so u will not meet him again in ur next life. Learn to hear in hear out dun need to argue with him. Tell urself u love ur mum and nobody can hurt her thru words. Bring ur mum out for fresh air. Hope u be well emotionally..

 

[gladjo]

Hi Harky

Firstly, I admire you are still enduring your Dad. It's not easy and still maintaining your own sanity. You are doing what most of us choose not to or choose the easy way out by leaving. You are really admirable and I believe you will be blessed. You honor your Dad even though he isn't a good father. You are doing a great job staying strong for your mum. Keep up the wonderful work... :=)

Your Dad have his upbringing to blame and also could be his little education have further narrowed the way his mind process information & communicates. Also, as your Dad age, a man's ego becomes very big and arguing simple common sense to them is very draining especially when your mum all along endures and he hits out on her as weak. So, remember it's not you or your Dad per se. It's human psychology in play. Just like they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

There's no fast fix nor a permanent solution, voicing out is correct. Don't keep inside yourself. Those who keep inside themselves all those hurts will one day become a volcano and when explosion occurs (which generally & usually does ) becomes ugly resulting hurting those around them or themselves.

Sometimes and most of the times, we meet difficult people even at work or at shopping mall or at coffee shop etc. So if you equate to previous life you owe them...then I would say you are very busy paying your previous life's debt. It's nothing to do with it honesty. We all need to learn how to handle difficult people and it's how we response and react that determines what kinda of person we are and how your family or kids remembers you by.

Sorry for the long lecture... dont mean am perfect, am a work in progress still. Feel free to PM.

' You are doing great '

God bless

 

[PreciousLittle]

Reading the post let me feel that I am not alone. I have a dad similar to yours. Jealous of others good and try to make others life difficult. Whatever it is time wait for no one so life goes on.