Hi guys, I really need some advice here.
I just came back from a Japan trip with my husband, MIL, BIL, daughter, and my mom. It was a nightmare trip and I was one who actually came up with the idea of organizing such family trip. During the trip there's the money issue. I paid fully for my mom (a housewife since she married to my dad), so I'm okay with my husband paying partially for his mom and BIL pay partially. I only have problems with BIL no initiative to pay for his own. My husband is elder brother and he paid for all first. E.g. suica card (Japan ezlink) but he doesn't pay back. You're using the funds inside for your own transportation, shouldn't you pay for yourself since you got your own income? Meals, his meal is always the most ex amongst and didn't pay full. My husband being thrifty type normally won't go for ex meals. But he's generous with people around him. He paid for all and doesn't say anything or ask for money back. That money, I changed 2/3 he changed 1/3 cuz I'm paying for my mom. To note, BIL earns more than us and single. Buying snacks, husband bought for all. BIL bought for himself and MIL. So I told my husband to not pay for all next time. He took my words. MIL and BIL not happy when husband asked for money from them before/after payment, and during only 1 breakfast he asked BIL to pay.
There are other issues during the trip which are too much to type. Fast forward to back to SIN.
MIL FIL came to fetch my daughter on Friday evening for overnight during weekends. They called husband when they were on their way. When they reached, my husband went to see them in first then before I even get to go out to see them, my husband told me his mom wants him to go back eat dinner. It's reasonable that they didn't ask me to go cuz I'm working later and my work place is nearer to my place. However, I sensed hostility from his mom when he told me that. They were like in a rush, rushed my husband to shower and leave.
After they left, while I was having dinner alone at home, husband texted saying they have bad impression of me. We texted throughout the conversation as he's with His mom and dad. He said his mom did not complain to him about me. It was a passing remark that she tested my mouth (my responses and my tone and my sacastic) in Japan and she was very angry. Then when she saw the milk tin for my daughter was different from usual, she asked husband why changed milk powder again. I changed milk powder for my daughter few times testing out different brands. Half of it I bought cuz promo and cheaper online (q10), some was good review on the milk. Husband didn't know. He said cuz it's cheaper. MIL said I stingy/cheapskate. Does she even have the right to say that? I am cheapskate and that's how we managed to saved a lot here and there. The way MIL spend money is unagreeable by husband and I but we never comment about it. Husband and I are more on thrifty and will go for cheaper options. MIL seems to think that cheap means lousy. What right does she has for saying that?
I admit I may have sometimes said something which will tick people off unknowingly, by words or by tone. I will apologize to her if I know what I said wrongly to her. But I am not going to apologize for anything after she made that remark. Even not in my face.
I need some advice or guidance please? Mother's day is around the corner or already here since it's weekend now. My parents want me to give MIL a red packet and apologize no matter right or wrong. I asked my husband about it, he said buy a gift and apologize for saying something wrong. But with that remark she passed in my head, I am still fuming. Please let me know what I can do?
I just came back from a Japan trip with my husband, MIL, BIL, daughter, and my mom. It was a nightmare trip and I was one who actually came up with the idea of organizing such family trip. During the trip there's the money issue. I paid fully for my mom (a housewife since she married to my dad), so I'm okay with my husband paying partially for his mom and BIL pay partially. I only have problems with BIL no initiative to pay for his own. My husband is elder brother and he paid for all first. E.g. suica card (Japan ezlink) but he doesn't pay back. You're using the funds inside for your own transportation, shouldn't you pay for yourself since you got your own income? Meals, his meal is always the most ex amongst and didn't pay full. My husband being thrifty type normally won't go for ex meals. But he's generous with people around him. He paid for all and doesn't say anything or ask for money back. That money, I changed 2/3 he changed 1/3 cuz I'm paying for my mom. To note, BIL earns more than us and single. Buying snacks, husband bought for all. BIL bought for himself and MIL. So I told my husband to not pay for all next time. He took my words. MIL and BIL not happy when husband asked for money from them before/after payment, and during only 1 breakfast he asked BIL to pay.
There are other issues during the trip which are too much to type. Fast forward to back to SIN.
MIL FIL came to fetch my daughter on Friday evening for overnight during weekends. They called husband when they were on their way. When they reached, my husband went to see them in first then before I even get to go out to see them, my husband told me his mom wants him to go back eat dinner. It's reasonable that they didn't ask me to go cuz I'm working later and my work place is nearer to my place. However, I sensed hostility from his mom when he told me that. They were like in a rush, rushed my husband to shower and leave.
After they left, while I was having dinner alone at home, husband texted saying they have bad impression of me. We texted throughout the conversation as he's with His mom and dad. He said his mom did not complain to him about me. It was a passing remark that she tested my mouth (my responses and my tone and my sacastic) in Japan and she was very angry. Then when she saw the milk tin for my daughter was different from usual, she asked husband why changed milk powder again. I changed milk powder for my daughter few times testing out different brands. Half of it I bought cuz promo and cheaper online (q10), some was good review on the milk. Husband didn't know. He said cuz it's cheaper. MIL said I stingy/cheapskate. Does she even have the right to say that? I am cheapskate and that's how we managed to saved a lot here and there. The way MIL spend money is unagreeable by husband and I but we never comment about it. Husband and I are more on thrifty and will go for cheaper options. MIL seems to think that cheap means lousy. What right does she has for saying that?
I admit I may have sometimes said something which will tick people off unknowingly, by words or by tone. I will apologize to her if I know what I said wrongly to her. But I am not going to apologize for anything after she made that remark. Even not in my face.
I need some advice or guidance please? Mother's day is around the corner or already here since it's weekend now. My parents want me to give MIL a red packet and apologize no matter right or wrong. I asked my husband about it, he said buy a gift and apologize for saying something wrong. But with that remark she passed in my head, I am still fuming. Please let me know what I can do?
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