Not divorcing but pretend to be in marriage?

siman

Member
Anyone in my situation? We agree not to divorce for children's sake. We will do it I after they grown up. They are still in primary school.sWe do not sleep together anymore and seldom talk. It is sad.
 


He had 3rd party before and broke off. I want to divorce but he don't want. Our characters and values are very different and i cannot accept that he has betrayed me.
 
Why more and more ppl got 3rd party :confused:

Y don give him one more chance if he did promised he won’t do that again?
 
He promise before but he flirt with girls and so I don't trust him. He also dont do much for children except weekends for food
 
Anyone in my situation? We agree not to divorce for children's sake. We will do it I after they grown up. They are still in primary school.sWe do not sleep together anymore and seldom talk. It is sad.
My situation same as you. Only we didn't mention divorce. But we are just like room mates staying under 1 roof. Didn't mention when we gonna divorce, I just continue to be my housewife, do the things I suppose to do. Look after kids and so on.
He just do his own things lor. As long he don't go over board like take my kids away, I just bear with it.
 
Me too in the similar situation as TS and icekacang...

Found out my hubby is having an affair outside. Forgave him once though trust is broken. Once I was away for business trip but came back earlier than expected. I did not inform you about my early return though. When home, found him and another woman in the house, playing 'catching' and 'hide & seek', in just bran and panties (for the woman), and he's in his undies. They both were shocked when saw me. I got furious and wanted to chop him up after retrieving the chopper from the kitchen. But he kneeled down and pleaded me and use the kids as an excuse.. The soft hearted me put down the chopper, and let it go...

But since then, we not sleeping together anymore. I sleep on the bed, and usually he zz on the floor. we still behave like couple in front of family... And be like good father/mother infront of kids.
 
Icekacang and JL,

Its tough ya to pretend a couple and a completed family in front of kids. No one to truly talk to and share happiness or sadness. Lets hope our children will understand why we part when they grow older and do not get affected by it.

JL8118
Your hub bring the woman home! Thats yucky. Children not at home that time i hope.
 
It is tough to pretend esp in front of family .
These idiots who cheated will pay a price .
We the innocence party must take good care of ourselves.
 
Icekacang and JL,

Its tough ya to pretend a couple and a completed family in front of kids. No one to truly talk to and share happiness or sadness. Lets hope our children will understand why we part when they grow older and do not get affected by it.

JL8118
Your hub bring the woman home! Thats yucky. Children not at home that time i hope.

Nope. Kids were out at that time... If not I doubt he's that daring...
Have to say though he's a idiot hubby, but still a good father. Which is why we choose not to divorce for the sake of the kids
 
I am not thinking what price he pays but i am just thinking how not to waste my time on him and move on with a better companion. We are over and should pursue own happiness but it is tough. To the children, he may be good as he bring them out to play but i do not think he is a good guardian. He doesn't follow their school matters, doesn't know what my children do with their friends, doesnt really talk to thdm about morale and values...
 
I am not thinking what price he pays but i am just thinking how not to waste my time on him and move on with a better companion. We are over and should pursue own happiness but it is tough. To the children, he may be good as he bring them out to play but i do not think he is a good guardian. He doesn't follow their school matters, doesn't know what my children do with their friends, doesnt really talk to thdm about morale and values...

I'm in similar situation as well. Not thinking of asking what price he will pay. Just hope he will treat the kids good. I'm not going to waste my time on him as well. Probably just find a better companion outside also.

wonder how both of you can pretend to be loving infront of the kids....tough

For me, not really say 'loving' infront of kids. Just behave that we are still husband and wife.
 
Asther77
We are not loving in front of them. In fact, they asked why i dont really talk to him now. We are like just seen 'together'

JL8118
I am hoping to find a companion too! One who are same thoughts, faithful and walk through life
 
JL8118
I am hoping to find a companion too! One who are same thoughts, faithful and walk through life

Yes. But not easy also. Especially heart matter... Unsure for you, but I sort of like lost hope towards man. I'm afraid if find another, will be like hubby, or worst than him. Probably may just find one to cure boredom and loneliness. Will be good if can be long term for life. But definitely not a 'companion' kind
 
I did not lose hope but feel tough to find. I am envious of those who found. Now going home has no one to talk to.
Dont lose hope!!
 
I did not lose hope but feel tough to find. I am envious of those who found. Now going home has no one to talk to.
Dont lose hope!!

Yup. Me too. Do envy when seeing those couple out there. But well... Life have to still go on.. Taking a step at a time...
In the meantime, just open to 'option'.

Just find more friends to talk to. I do have friends to talk to as well. If you feel bored and want someone to talk with, can pm me also.
 
Yup. Me too. Do envy when seeing those couple out there. But well... Life have to still go on.. Taking a step at a time...
In the meantime, just open to 'option'.

Just find more friends to talk to. I do have friends to talk to as well. If you feel bored and want someone to talk with, can pm me also.
I'm in similar situation as well. Not thinking of asking what price he will pay. Just hope he will treat the kids good. I'm not going to waste my time on him as well. Probably just find a better companion outside also.



For me, not really say 'loving' infront of kids. Just behave that we are still husband and wife.
Ladies
I’m in the same situation as you ladies but of the opp gender. Wife cheated 6 years ago and beg for forgiveness. Being soft hearted I took her back and now after having 2 lovely young kids, she wants out saying she fell out of love with me and wants freedom. We are very loving until 1st of CNY she broke the news to me. After 14 years of marriage, she just threw everything away in a second. She travels a lot for work and I had to put my career on hold to look after the family especially the 2 little ones. My routine is to rush home everyday to play and company the kids and help the elder boy with his school work. Thought be a responsible father and hubby by helping her out with all the family matters so that she can concentrate on her work. Now everything is gone. Now still staying under one roof but we only talk about the kids matters only. Weekdays she will have her own activities and usually comes home late. Am I stupid or what? It’s hurts like crazy but can’t show it in front of the kids. Kids have been asking where mummy only to lie and hold back my emo and tell them she has to work. My whole world only revolves around the 2 kids and her. While she is wnjoiing her new life, I’m stuck caring for the family and kids. What should I do? I feel tha I’m slipping into depression as I can’t handle the hurt that she had caused. My family doesn’t know anything and suffering in silence. Thinking of see a counselor next week to help me sort my tots straight.
 
Ladies
I’m in the same situation as you ladies but of the opp gender. Wife cheated 6 years ago and beg for forgiveness. Being soft hearted I took her back and now after having 2 lovely young kids, she wants out saying she fell out of love with me and wants freedom. We are very loving until 1st of CNY she broke the news to me. After 14 years of marriage, she just threw everything away in a second. She travels a lot for work and I had to put my career on hold to look after the family especially the 2 little ones. My routine is to rush home everyday to play and company the kids and help the elder boy with his school work. Thought be a responsible father and hubby by helping her out with all the family matters so that she can concentrate on her work. Now everything is gone. Now still staying under one roof but we only talk about the kids matters only. Weekdays she will have her own activities and usually comes home late. Am I stupid or what? It’s hurts like crazy but can’t show it in front of the kids. Kids have been asking where mummy only to lie and hold back my emo and tell them she has to work. My whole world only revolves around the 2 kids and her. While she is wnjoiing her new life, I’m stuck caring for the family and kids. What should I do? I feel tha I’m slipping into depression as I can’t handle the hurt that she had caused. My family doesn’t know anything and suffering in silence. Thinking of see a counselor next week to help me sort my tots straight.

If she wants freedom, why she still staying there? Because of the kids?

I wonder where she got the courage from to do this...

I think you have done everything and it become take for granted, just like my husb did everything as what you did including all the housework.. sometimes I will like, take for granted and do my own work instead of helping him...

Is good to look for counselor, it will be good if your wife can go too....
 
If she wants freedom, why she still staying there? Because of the kids?

I wonder where she got the courage from to do this...

I think you have done everything and it become take for granted, just like my husb did everything as what you did including all the housework.. sometimes I will like, take for granted and do my own work instead of helping him...

Is good to look for counselor, it will be good if your wife can go too....
Bcos of my elder boy going P1 next year n I ask her to stay till he settles down with his transition to P1. It will be too sad for him when his mummy not around and have to go thru the stress of P1.
Wife is a very determined person, want something means will just do it. Don’t care who is hurt or in the way. She made it very clear that she won’t go for marriage counseling n the marriage is over. Am taking baby steps by the day n enjoy the numbered days with daughter as she wants to bring my daughter to stay with her when she moves out.
 
Bcos of my elder boy going P1 next year n I ask her to stay till he settles down with his transition to P1. It will be too sad for him when his mummy not around and have to go thru the stress of P1.
Wife is a very determined person, want something means will just do it. Don’t care who is hurt or in the way. She made it very clear that she won’t go for marriage counseling n the marriage is over. Am taking baby steps by the day n enjoy the numbered days with daughter as she wants to bring my daughter to stay with her when she moves out.

Sigh.... poor kids.... please be good to your boy if his mummy really leave him but rmb cannot spoil him... :(:(

I hope your wife won’t get a new partner while bringing your gal with her..
 
Sigh.... poor kids.... please be good to your boy if his mummy really leave him but rmb cannot spoil him... :(:(

I hope your wife won’t get a new partner while bringing your gal with her..
My boy is like my best friend. I already spoilt him but I’ve my limits. He must work for his toys but he is a very easily contented boy. My girl is a daddy’s girl. I will miss her a lot. She is only coming 3 and everyday when I come home, she will hug and kiss you then ask you to sit with her and she will chat w you. Half the time I don’t know what she is talking. I’m very sadden by my wife’s decision and wrecking the whole family happiness. The kids are innocent. They deserve to have a good family to grow up with.
 
My boy is like my best friend. I already spoilt him but I’ve my limits. He must work for his toys but he is a very easily contented boy. My girl is a daddy’s girl. I will miss her a lot. She is only coming 3 and everyday when I come home, she will hug and kiss you then ask you to sit with her and she will chat w you. Half the time I don’t know what she is talking. I’m very sadden by my wife’s decision and wrecking the whole family happiness. The kids are innocent. They deserve to have a good family to grow up with.

I’m sure you know who is the best person to take care of your gal.. tell your wife to bring your gal back to you if she is unable to take good care of her one day..
 
My boy is like my best friend. I already spoilt him but I’ve my limits. He must work for his toys but he is a very easily contented boy. My girl is a daddy’s girl. I will miss her a lot. She is only coming 3 and everyday when I come home, she will hug and kiss you then ask you to sit with her and she will chat w you. Half the time I don’t know what she is talking. I’m very sadden by my wife’s decision and wrecking the whole family happiness. The kids are innocent. They deserve to have a good family to grow up with.

I was thinking... since she has decided and whatever you say, cannot change her mind... just bless her and let her go... cox I think if her heart already not there, the more you force or talk to her, the more she feel 反感。。so y not just bless her. But do let her know you want her and the family for sure, is just that since she has decided, you respect her decision... and you will still wait for her return..

She might think back one day, when no one do all the things for her and start to realize, you and the family are the best?

Or she might then notice you are the only one who truly love her.. for now, she might be unable to think more, mayb just leave for temporary?

Jiayou and be strong!

Btw, if her leaving was due to you have done sth not good to her or to the family, I don know, I’m just saying if (sorry if I have offended you).. then... hmm.. cannot blame her ba.
 
I was thinking... since she has decided and whatever you say, cannot change her mind... just bless her and let her go... cox I think if her heart already not there, the more you force or talk to her, the more she feel 反感。。so y not just bless her. But do let her know you want her and the family for sure, is just that since she has decided, you respect her decision... and you will still wait for her return..

She might think back one day, when no one do all the things for her and start to realize, you and the family are the best?

Or she might then notice you are the only one who truly love her.. for now, she might be unable to think more, mayb just leave for temporary?

Jiayou and be strong!

Btw, if her leaving was due to you have done sth not good to her or to the family, I don know, I’m just saying if (sorry if I have offended you).. then... hmm.. cannot blame her ba.
No worries. Not offended cos you are hearing one sided story. I definitely did not do anything wrong to any of them. 3 of them are my precious. What they want, they will get. Because I love her so much, I’ve decided to let her go find happiness else where. She said she wants to find someone she loves and I’m blessing her. I’ve closed that chapter and move forward. Naturally you will be super hurt but what can I do? No point forcing, in a relationship, it takes 2 hands to clap. No point in one sided love. Perhaps one day she will realize how much I’ve love n sacrificed for the family. Well it’s just my luck. Another reason for leaving is that we are of very different characters. She used to say the opposite attracts and now the very reason for her leaving. Well life goes on. My biggest worry is my kids well being and hope they grow up to be fine young adults. Thank you for the encouragement and seeing the positive side of things. In life, you win some you lose some just that this lost is big lost.
 
My situation same as you. Only we didn't mention divorce. But we are just like room mates staying under 1 roof. Didn't mention when we gonna divorce, I just continue to be my housewife, do the things I suppose to do. Look after kids and so on.
He just do his own things lor. As long he don't go over board like take my kids away, I just bear with it.

Sian lar..i wait till everyone goes inside their room and I go out living room fold clothes and watch tv. He like as if got period. Get angry over little things. I don’t even have the right to talk to my gal.

One day the four of us are having lunch at mac then my gal was sitting opp me. I was chatting with my gal about everyday stuff and had some disagreements which I think it’s pretty normal. And I think it has nothing to do with anyone else other than my gal and me. Then He unhappily mumble want to talk, go home then talk. I paused for awhile thinking who is he talking to. Then I mumble to myself, want to talk - anytime also can talk. Then he rushed my gal to finish her food and walk out hurriedly, like as if he got something so important to do. Then he walk very fast with my gal and don’t wait for me and my boy. Storm off to the carpark and get into the car. He drive like crazy..speeding and cutting lanes like nobody business. Then when we home, he send me a few WhatsApp messages - saying I don’t have to bother about him anymore, he don’t have to bother about me anymore. I can do whatever I want. He will not support me financially anymore. we are off from now on.

He always threaten me. What I can say is - he is a sore loser. He can only win, cannot lose. What I owe him? I owe him nothing. I did do my job as a housewife. What else he want me to do? He don’t say and expect me to know what he wants. He assume I know what I do that agitate him, what he needs and so on. From then on, me and my boy has been walking to school every morning and he fetch my gal to school with his car. Both my kids study in the same school.
 
Sian lar..i wait till everyone goes inside their room and I go out living room fold clothes and watch tv. He like as if got period. Get angry over little things. I don’t even have the right to talk to my gal.

One day the four of us are having lunch at mac then my gal was sitting opp me. I was chatting with my gal about everyday stuff and had some disagreements which I think it’s pretty normal. And I think it has nothing to do with anyone else other than my gal and me. Then He unhappily mumble want to talk, go home then talk. I paused for awhile thinking who is he talking to. Then I mumble to myself, want to talk - anytime also can talk. Then he rushed my gal to finish her food and walk out hurriedly, like as if he got something so important to do. Then he walk very fast with my gal and don’t wait for me and my boy. Storm off to the carpark and get into the car. He drive like crazy..speeding and cutting lanes like nobody business. Then when we home, he send me a few WhatsApp messages - saying I don’t have to bother about him anymore, he don’t have to bother about me anymore. I can do whatever I want. He will not support me financially anymore. we are off from now on.

He always threaten me. What I can say is - he is a sore loser. He can only win, cannot lose. What I owe him? I owe him nothing. I did do my job as a housewife. What else he want me to do? He don’t say and expect me to know what he wants. He assume I know what I do that agitate him, what he needs and so on. From then on, me and my boy has been walking to school every morning and he fetch my gal to school with his car. Both my kids study in the same school.

Hi that sounds like a very serious underlying problem. How long has his situation been ongoing for?

I think it’s not right for him to threaten you that way and for him to make u and ur boy walk to school while he drives ur daughter? That’s terrible, especially in the eyes of the kids.

Have both of you sat down and talk everything through recently? Just to understand the cause of it all? Sorry you hav to go through this
 
Sian lar..i wait till everyone goes inside their room and I go out living room fold clothes and watch tv. He like as if got period. Get angry over little things. I don’t even have the right to talk to my gal.

One day the four of us are having lunch at mac then my gal was sitting opp me. I was chatting with my gal about everyday stuff and had some disagreements which I think it’s pretty normal. And I think it has nothing to do with anyone else other than my gal and me. Then He unhappily mumble want to talk, go home then talk. I paused for awhile thinking who is he talking to. Then I mumble to myself, want to talk - anytime also can talk. Then he rushed my gal to finish her food and walk out hurriedly, like as if he got something so important to do. Then he walk very fast with my gal and don’t wait for me and my boy. Storm off to the carpark and get into the car. He drive like crazy..speeding and cutting lanes like nobody business. Then when we home, he send me a few WhatsApp messages - saying I don’t have to bother about him anymore, he don’t have to bother about me anymore. I can do whatever I want. He will not support me financially anymore. we are off from now on.

He always threaten me. What I can say is - he is a sore loser. He can only win, cannot lose. What I owe him? I owe him nothing. I did do my job as a housewife. What else he want me to do? He don’t say and expect me to know what he wants. He assume I know what I do that agitate him, what he needs and so on. From then on, me and my boy has been walking to school every morning and he fetch my gal to school with his car. Both my kids study in the same school.

You really need to have a talk with him, he cannot expect you can read his mind, you cannot expect him to read your mind too... not to talk about other things like household, work, kids etc etc but talk about the relationship between both of you first...

Find the love in both of you when you both get married.. with the love, things can be settled.

And both of you playing different role for the family and both of you are very important to the family.. you do have your pressure, so as him.. talk it out and be understand to each other..

Lastly, I think he don wan you to continue to talk with your gal at public was because of face (面子), that is very impt for guy, give him what he wants, he will give you what you want, I guess.
 
No worries. Not offended cos you are hearing one sided story. I definitely did not do anything wrong to any of them. 3 of them are my precious. What they want, they will get. Because I love her so much, I’ve decided to let her go find happiness else where. She said she wants to find someone she loves and I’m blessing her. I’ve closed that chapter and move forward. Naturally you will be super hurt but what can I do? No point forcing, in a relationship, it takes 2 hands to clap. No point in one sided love. Perhaps one day she will realize how much I’ve love n sacrificed for the family. Well it’s just my luck. Another reason for leaving is that we are of very different characters. She used to say the opposite attracts and now the very reason for her leaving. Well life goes on. My biggest worry is my kids well being and hope they grow up to be fine young adults. Thank you for the encouragement and seeing the positive side of things. In life, you win some you lose some just that this lost is big lost.

it is so sad to read this, even more so when the mother was the one who had carried the bb in her womb for 9 long mths and end up, she does not even bother abt them, does not even want to spend enough time with them, does not consider salvaging the marriage for them. you are right, kids are innocent and should not be made to put through this. they deserve love from both parents, not just one, and it definitely sucks to have to lie to them abt why their mother isn't ard majority of the time. kids are still humans and they will feel jealous or upset when they see other families happily outside enjoying their family time. well, no choice, since your wife has become so heartless, then the only thing you can do right now is to work ard the problem.. you can play the role of both parents as well. i can tell you love your kids a lot and hope that that can be your motivation to continue providing for them, bringing them up well and giving them the love and care they need to grow up properly. i believe someday your wife will come to regret her decision cos it is not easy finding a man who can put aside so much for the family, making sacrifices for the family just to keep the marriage going.

take care and hope things get better for you soon.
 
You are a wonderful dad and continue with the good work.
Your wife did not realise what her loss it.
 
it is so sad to read this, even more so when the mother was the one who had carried the bb in her womb for 9 long mths and end up, she does not even bother abt them, does not even want to spend enough time with them, does not consider salvaging the marriage for them. you are right, kids are innocent and should not be made to put through this. they deserve love from both parents, not just one, and it definitely sucks to have to lie to them abt why their mother isn't ard majority of the time. kids are still humans and they will feel jealous or upset when they see other families happily outside enjoying their family time. well, no choice, since your wife has become so heartless, then the only thing you can do right now is to work ard the problem.. you can play the role of both parents as well. i can tell you love your kids a lot and hope that that can be your motivation to continue providing for them, bringing them up well and giving them the love and care they need to grow up properly. i believe someday your wife will come to regret her decision cos it is not easy finding a man who can put aside so much for the family, making sacrifices for the family just to keep the marriage going.

take care and hope things get better for you soon.
Thank you for your well wishes. I’m enjoying and cherishing very moments with both little ones now before she separates them. Going thru this whole nightmare is so so tiring and mentally draining. I find strength to live from my 2 little pillars of support. Will definitely look after them well and make sure they grow up to be fine adults.
 
Reading all ur experiences sounds very sad.
I don’t know why... but I believe the one who wants out will be the one regretting (some day, one way or another).
Life isn’t always so beautifully painted, seeing couples and families smiling also have issues. Sigh~ in the end, all decision evolves around the kids. But isn’t it better to let the kids understand the situation early, instead of dragging? No offence here, but I think every year we age our ‘ value’ drops. Our commitment and strength to take care and provide for the kids also might not be as well-off in years to come (by delaying/avoiding the issue with spouse). Who knows maybe the kids more happy to see mummy/daddy smiling from within??
But on other hand, who doesn’t want a marriage to work when signed and vowed I DO!! Really hope all things work out for u all!!! Jiayou and all the best! Don’t be disheartened at whatever outcome, fight for what u deem is right !!!!!!!!!
 
Furbee
The children can feel it and I wish our children can understand that it is better for their parent to part! In reality, I think they love us both so it pains them to see we are not 'together'. I have start to hint to my children that it is OK for parent to divorce and we still love them with all our heart. Whoever taking care of them will allow them to see the other party as frequent as possible (that would be my arrangement lah) .i wish to seek my own happiness and still believe there is love! My value in terms of look and I hope to have what balance now to my next man! !! But its tough for someone now to secretly go out with me and to accommodate my family schedule. I pray for miracle, a day would come and my real companion will give support to me in this really down time of my life. If it is not happening, its sad and my life will be only my children. Jia you to everyone who are facing this situation. We didn't choose to divorce when we marry in the first place, I don't blame anyone.
 
Hi Siman
Don’t lose hope. The right one will come along. We are all here to support each other. Feel free to start a conversion if you are bored or you just feel like ranting. You can’t help to feel lonely like all of us do but eventually we will survive and emerge stronger. The nights are killing me, after my kids go to bed, it’s miserable time and I can’t sleep till wee hours. Lucky a few kind members reached out to me and I really appreaciate their support. Sometimes we just wasapp and share pointers or just rant as this journey is filled with many ups and downs. The emotional roller coaster is very real so hang on tight. By the way, any pointers how you slowly break the news to your kids? I feel very stress every time I try to test water with my boy that mummy will be moving out eventually.
 
Hi Siman
Don’t lose hope. The right one will come along. We are all here to support each other. Feel free to start a conversion if you are bored or you just feel like ranting. You can’t help to feel lonely like all of us do but eventually we will survive and emerge stronger. The nights are killing me, after my kids go to bed, it’s miserable time and I can’t sleep till wee hours. Lucky a few kind members reached out to me and I really appreaciate their support. Sometimes we just wasapp and share pointers or just rant as this journey is filled with many ups and downs. The emotional roller coaster is very real so hang on tight. By the way, any pointers how you slowly break the news to your kids? I feel very stress every time I try to test water with my boy that mummy will be moving out eventually.

You’re a great dad. It’s sad that things don’t work out between the parents but I guess sometimes we just have to accept things as they are and find the strength to move on. your kids will understand eventually.
 
Hi Happy Dump Boy
Such comforting words. Nights are really tough everyday, no one to talk to, to laugh to cry... But I think I'm getting used and try to play games and watch shows. Handphone is really best companion! I watch ch 8 show with my children and use their scenario to tell them! Then I say example if me and daddy think we no longer suit each other, we can divorce too. This is how I slowly introduce divorce and my child say her classmate parents are divorce. They know what is it
 
Hi Happy Dump Boy
Such comforting words. Nights are really tough everyday, no one to talk to, to laugh to cry... But I think I'm getting used and try to play games and watch shows. Handphone is really best companion! I watch ch 8 show with my children and use their scenario to tell them! Then I say example if me and daddy think we no longer suit each other, we can divorce too. This is how I slowly introduce divorce and my child say her classmate parents are divorce. They know what is it

I'm using this way as well. To use 'tv show' as scenario..
 
Hi that sounds like a very serious underlying problem. How long has his situation been ongoing for?

I think it’s not right for him to threaten you that way and for him to make u and ur boy walk to school while he drives ur daughter? That’s terrible, especially in the eyes of the kids.

Have both of you sat down and talk everything through recently? Just to understand the cause of it all? Sorry you hav to go through this

No way to talk at all. He don’t listen to anyone. He only think what he do and say is right. He think I’m afraid of him. He don’t like me get too close with my mum..

Since my boy is born in 2010. It has not been really smooth sailing. Recent years he start to get even more crazier..haiz
 


You really need to have a talk with him, he cannot expect you can read his mind, you cannot expect him to read your mind too... not to talk about other things like household, work, kids etc etc but talk about the relationship between both of you first...

Find the love in both of you when you both get married.. with the love, things can be settled.

And both of you playing different role for the family and both of you are very important to the family.. you do have your pressure, so as him.. talk it out and be understand to each other..

Lastly, I think he don wan you to continue to talk with your gal at public was because of face (面子), that is very impt for guy, give him what he wants, he will give you what you want, I guess.

I already give him enough face. He don’t like to listen he can shut off his ear. No one force him to listen. If he is the one talking to my gal then he can talk. Then I’m the mother, I can even have the right to talk to my gal?

I keep giving in to him. He expect I know what did I do wrong that makes him angry. He just keep expecting, keep assuming. I tried my very best to do what is expected of me..as a mother and a housewife. But he must give me a minimal respect in front my kids right? He always downgrade me or ask my kids not to listen to me or shout at me infront of my kids. You know how do I feel?

I’m the one taking care of my kids day and night. And I’m treated as a nobody in this house. He has no respect for anyone. He purposely overwrite me in everything I ask my kids do. Eg. I ask my boy keep toy, he ask him no need keep. Who is making life difficult?
 

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